← Table of contents
A Burlesque Translation of Homer

Book 2 — THE THIRD BOOK OF HOMER'S ILIAD.

Reading edition

ARGUMENT.

Now all the troops in order plac'd, Against their minds, each other fac'd; When nimble Paris, by a fit Of courage, or of phrensy, bit, Fierce sallies forth upon the plain; The cuckold drives him back again: Yet hearten'd afterwards by Hector, Who read him a confounded lecture, This dancing, cuckold-making knight Challeng'd the cuckold out to fight; Which Menelaus answer'd soon, And in the scuffle knock'd him down. Fast by the crown the Spartan held him, And swore most bloodily he'd geld him: But Venus, queen of love and beauty, Who thinks all whoring tricks a duty, In a great hurry came and caught him Fast by the luggs, and fairly brought him To his own room; then from the closet She fetch'd a smoking-hot sack posset. Soon as she found it warm'd his belly, She stepp'd to th' door, and call'd up Nelly; Who scolded hard at first, but soon Pull'd off her clothes, and laid her down Upon the bed beside her swain, Who trimm'd her buff with might and main. How oft, at exercise so vi'lent, They cry'd Encore, our author's silent.

HOMER'S ILIAD.

Explore with AITake your curiosity a little further.

Reading settings