Why Should I Smile?

Why should I smile in mockery now, When grief sits heavy on my brow? Or strive in anguish to repress The tears of gushing tenderness, That from my heart's deep fountain rise, And rush unbidden to my eyes? Oh let me weep, for there's a balm In tears, they bring a holy calm: And yield a soothing, sweet relief To hearts that else would burst with grief. Yes, I will weep in hopeless woe, Until my tears refuse to flow; For lo! before my mental gaze, The hopes and joys of other days, Come gathering round, a mystic band, Like phantoms from the spirit land; And one by one they pass me by, "With bloodless cheek and hollow eye," And seem to mock me as they go, In tones of bitterness and woe. Oh, how unlike the glittering throng That smiling beckon'd me along, And strewd with fragrant flow'rs my way, In childhood's bright and sunny day. They came in glittering robes arrayed, O'er golden harps their fingers strayed, And from their robes of spotless white They scattered showers of sparkling light. O, how could my fond heart believe They glittered only to deceive; To visions bright as fairy land. Hope pointed with her magic hand, And love, with soft and speaking eye, And tones of thrilling witchery, A dream like mist around me threw, Ting'd by many a rainbow hue. And friendship, with her smiling face, Clasped me within her warm embrace, And fondly whisper'd in mine ear, Sweet words of hope I loved to hear. And O, how fondly did I fling On friendship's shrine, the offering Of my young heart: nor could I deem Her words were but an idle dream; But oh, the illusion fled too late, It left my heart all desolate.