TO THE DAUGHTER DEAR, WHOSE INTIMATE AND CONFIDENTIAL COMPANIONSHIP FROM CHILDHOOD TO WOMANHOOD HAS MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO FEEL A SYMPATHETIC INTEREST IN THE LIFE-PROBLEMS OF ALL GIRLS, THIS BOOK IS MOST LOVINGLY DEDICATED BY HER MOTHER

CONTENTS.

PAGE

PART I.

CHAPTER I. WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?

The first great lesson to learn, your own importance — Probably twelve million young women in the United States — What it means for one of them to be sick — Woman's work in the world — The using of spiritual forces — How much are you worth to your home, to the community, to the state, to the nation, to the race? 21

CHAPTER II. CARE OF BODY.

Your body is your dwelling — It expresses you — We can judge of character by the external appearance — The body also an instrument and should be taken care of — Not "fussy" to take care of it in youth — We should prepare for life 27

CHAPTER III. FOOD.

A desire for health creates a desire to know how to obtain it — The question of diet — We eat to repair waste and to supply new material — Overstudy less a cause of illness than wrong eating — Tea and coffee not foods — Alcoholic beverages interfere with digestion — Dyspepsia produced by worry — We should give ourselves to our friends — Young women should study scientific cookery 33

CHAPTER IV. SLEEP.

Every thought, activity, or motion causes expenditure of force — In sleep the energy restored — Amount of sleep needed — Effect of sleeplessness — Causes of unrefreshing sleep — Ventilation of sleeping rooms — Beauty sleep 39

CHAPTER V. BREATHING.

How often we breathe — What is accomplished by breathing — Office of oxygen in the blood — Breathing our measure of ability — Breathing gymnastics, their value — Importance of the diaphragm in breathing 47

CHAPTER VI. HINDRANCES TO BREATHING.

Effect of sitting attitudes — How to counteract this — Wrong positions in standing — Restrictions of clothing — Rule for the tightness of clothing — Why tight dresses may feel comfortable 55

CHAPTER VII. ADDED INJURIES FROM TIGHT CLOTHING.

The effect upon the heart — Danger of exercising in tight dress — Effect of tight clothing upon the kidneys, upon the liver, stomach, and bowels — How the bowels are held in the abdomen — Influence of tight clothing upon the pelvic organs — Upon the circulation — A tapering waist a deformity 61

CHAPTER VIII. EXERCISE.

The purpose of physical culture — Balance between waste and supply — Gymnastic dress a necessity — Value of housework — Bicycle riding — Dancing — Skating — Lawn tennis — Running up and down stairs — Bathing 69

CHAPTER IX. BATHING.

Beauty of complexion — Condition of skin indicates condition of digestive organs — Pimples — Constipation — Thermal bath — Foot bath — Time to bathe — Daily baths — The use of soaps — Wrinkles — Care of the hands 77

PART II.

CHAPTER X. CREATIVE POWER.

We have Godlike powers: reason, imagination, conferring life — Organs of individual life same in both sexes — Differences between the sexes in size — Dignity of man 87

CHAPTER XI. BUILDING BRAINS.

Babies born deaf, dumb, blind and helpless — The activities of the baby build its brains — Our brains develop through cultivation of the senses — Certain areas of brain govern certain movements of body — Can learn how to build up any part of brain — Professor Gates' experiments in training dogs — Creation of habits — Effects of malevolent passions, such as anger, worry, etc. 93

CHAPTER XII. YOU ARE MORE THAN BODY OR MIND.

You are neither body nor mind, you are spirit — Your relationship to God — God's obligation to us — Our obligation to Him — God's school — His method of teaching us. 99

CHAPTER XIII. SPECIAL PHYSIOLOGY.

Differences between boys and girls — Boys need our sympathy — The crisis in the girl's life — Sex in mind — Description of the sex organs 105

CHAPTER XIV. BECOMING A WOMAN.

All life from an egg — The human egg — Menstruation — Girls may injure themselves through ignorance — Value of sex. 113

CHAPTER XV. ARTIFICIALITIES OF CIVILIZED LIFE.

Menstruation should be painless — Dr. Mary Jacobi's opinion — Dr. Emmett on the artificial life of young women. 119

CHAPTER XVI. SOME CAUSES OF PAINFUL MENSTRUATION.

Woman not necessarily a semi-invalid — Effects of wrong clothing on the young girl — Evils of novel reading — Evils of constipation — Congestions produced by displacements — Serious results of abdominal displacements — Value of abdominal bandage — How to make one — How to wear it — Effects of wrong attitude — Standing on one foot — Correct attitude. 123

CHAPTER XVII. FEMALE DISEASES.

Displacements of uterus — Leucorrhea — Patent medicines — Honest physicians — Sitz baths for reducing congestions — Age at which menstruation first appears — Non-menstruation and consumption — Mechanical hindrances to menstruation — Suppression — Scanty flow — Profuse flow — Treatment. 135

CHAPTER XVIII. CARE DURING MENSTRUATION.

No long walks or rides — May pursue usual avocations — If pain, keep quiet — Do not use alcoholics of any kind — Use of heat — Use of cold — Should you bathe at this time — Arrangement of clothing and napkins — Mental serenity. 145

CHAPTER XIX. SOLITARY VICE.

Its results — Causes — Lack of cleanliness — Pin-worms — All functions attended with pleasure — Sex not low — Its development accompanied by increased power — How overcome the bad habit? — Remove causes of pelvic congestions — Train the senses — Study clouds, leaves, shapes, birds, etc. 151

CHAPTER XX. BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.

What is real fun — The effects of a wrong idea of fun — Flirtations — Familiarities — Criticism of girls by young men — Class of girls who are most respected — Responsibility of girls — The conduct of a pure woman the safeguard of man. 159

CHAPTER XXI. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS.

The meaning of friendship — Mother the girl's wisest confidante — Kissing — Friendship between brothers and sisters — Platonic friendships — The value of noble companionship. 169

CHAPTER XXII. FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN GIRLS.

Gushing girls — Manly friendships — The highest type of friendship — To love truly is to grow strong by true giving. 177

CHAPTER XXIII. EXERCISES.

Correct dressing — To overcome curvature — Round shoulders — To strengthen the back — To develop the chest — Abdominal muscles — To restore displaced organs. 181

CHAPTER XXIV. RECREATIONS.

Walking — Running — Riding — Skating — Rowing — Cycling — Tennis — Swimming — Skipping — Dancing — Card-playing — Theatre-going. 187

PART III.

CHAPTER XXV. LOVE.

Different ideas of different people — Much that is called love is selfishness — Love at first sight — Present conditions of society unnatural — Parents unwilling to teach their children, yet permit flirtations, etc. — What is love? — One word to express different phases of regard — Love of man and woman — Love should include mental congeniality, spiritual sympathy and physical attraction — Young people should have opportunity to get acquainted — Comradeship of young people — Love is a growth. 199

CHAPTER XXVI. RESPONSIBILITY IN MARRIAGE.

Who is the young man? — What are his antecedents, his talents, his habits? — What sort of a family does he belong to? — The wife marries her husband's family — Girls should know this — A mother's privilege. 209

CHAPTER XXVII. THE LAW OF HEREDITY.

A strange will — Should study the law of inheritance — Plant heredity — Race heredity — National characteristics — Individual inheritance — We are composite photographs — The law of heredity a beneficial law — Transmission of evil a warning — Bad tempers inherited — Atavism. 215

CHAPTER XXVIII. HEREDITARY EFFECTS OF ALCOHOL, TOBACCO, ETC.

Alcoholism produces nerve degeneration — Tight lacing may have the same result — Nerve degeneracy may lead to alcoholism — Idiocy and inebriety increasing — Effects of wine — Evils of patent medicines — Inebriety of parents entails injury on offspring — Folly of marrying a man to reform him — Hereditary effects of morphine, chloral, etc. — Dangers of the tobacco habit — Inherited effects of tobacco. 223

CHAPTER XXIX. EFFECTS OF IMMORALITY ON THE RACE.

The law of God not a double law — The inherited effects of immorality — Millions die annually from its effects — Transmitted to child or wife — Contamination through a kiss. 235

CHAPTER XXX. THE GOSPEL OF HEREDITY.

Inheritance of good so universal that we fail to think of it — Mercy shown to thousands of generations — Heredity not fatality — Effects of education transmitted — Experiments of Professor Gates on dogs — A divine inheritance. 241

CHAPTER XXXI. REQUISITES OF A HUSBAND.

What is the young man's inheritance? — What are his ideas? — What is his estimate of woman? — What are his defects? — Are there adequate reasons why some should not marry? — May not married people be happy without children — A girl should know something of the personal habits of her future husband — Should consider her own personal habits — How freely may young people talk together? 247

CHAPTER XXXII. ENGAGEMENTS.

Becoming engaged for fun — May not engaged young people throw aside restrictions? — Long engagements — The benefits of an engagement — Evils of a long engagement — Engagement a time of preparation — Sexual attraction not limited to local expression — Duty of the engaged young woman to her own family — Jealousy the quintessence of selfishness — Trust a suggestion to be true — Common sense needed in marriage — Hold your lover to the highest ideals. 255

CHAPTER XXXIII. THE WEDDING.

Folly of preparing an elaborate trousseau — The way of one sensible girl — The wedding gifts — Bridal tours — The realities of wedded life. 267

PREFACE.

During a number of years it has been my privilege to be the confidante and counsellor of a large number of young women of various stations in life and in all parts of the United States.

These girls have talked freely with me concerning their plans, aspirations, fears and personal problems. It has been a great revelation to me to note with what unanimity they ask certain questions concerning conduct—queries which perhaps might astonish the mothers of those same girls, as they, doubtless, take it for granted that their daughters intuitively understand these fundamental laws of propriety.

The truth is that many girls who have been taught in the "ologies" of the schools, who have been trained in the conventionalities of society, have been left to pick up as they may their ideas upon personal conduct, and, coming face to face with puzzling problems, are at a loss, and perhaps are led into wrong ways of thinking and questionable ways of doing because no one has foreseen their dilemma and warned them how to meet it.

The subjects treated in this little book are discussed because every one of them has been the substance of a query propounded by some girl otherwise intelligent and well informed. They have been treated plainly and simply because they purport to be the frank conferences of a mother and daughter, between whom there can be no need of hesitation in dealing frankly with any question bearing on the life, health or happiness of the girl. There is therefore no need of apology; the book is its own excuse for being, the queries of the young women demand honest answers.

Life will be safer for the girl who understands her own nature and reverences her womanhood, who realizes her responsibility towards the human race and conducts herself in accordance with that realization.

Life will be nobler and purer in its possession and its transmission, if, from childhood onward to old age, the thought has been held that "Life is a gift of God and is divine," and its physical is no less sacred than its mental or moral manifestation; if it has been understood that the foundations of character are laid in the habits formed in youth, and that a noble girlhood assures a grand maturity.

Dear girls who read this book, the mother-heart has gone out to you with great tenderness with every line herein written, with many an unspoken prayer that you will be helped, uplifted, inspired by its reading, and made more and more to feel

Mary Wood-Allen.

Ann Arbor, Michigan.