CONTENTS
Reading edition
PAGE
Author's Prefaceix
Forewordxi
PART I
THE BABY'S BAEDEKER
i. Abroad3
ii. United States of America6
iii. Great Britain9
iv. Scotland11
v. Ireland13
vi. Wales15
vii. China16
viii. France19
ix. Germany21
x. Holland23
xi. Iceland26
xii. Italy27
xiii. Japan30
xiv. Portugal32
xv. Russia33
xvi. Spain36
xvii. Switzerland39
xviii. Turkey41
xix. Dreamland44
xx. Stageland47
xxi. Loverland48
xxii. Homeland53
PART II
CHILDISH COMPLAINTS AND OTHER RUTHLESS RHYMES
Childish Complaints—
Prelude57
Appendicitis61
Whooping-Cough61
Measles62
Adenoids62
Croup62
Ruthless Rhymes—
i.Mother-Wit63
ii.Uncle Joe64
iii.Aunt Eliza65
iv.Absent-mindedness66
v.John68
vi.Baby71
vii.The Cat72
PART III
PERVERTED PROVERBS
i.'Virtue is its own Reward'77
ii.'Enough is as Good as a Feast'86
iii.'Don't Buy a Pig in a Poke'89
iv.'Learn to Take Things Easily'91
v.'A Rolling Stone Gathers no Moss'92
vi.'It is Never Too Late to Mend'96
vii.'A Bad Workman Complains of his Tools'99
viii.'Don't Look a Gift-horse in the Mouth'100
ix.Potpourri103
PART IV
OTHER VERSES
Bill111
The Legend of the Author114
The Motriot128
The Ballad of the Artist130
The Ballad of Ping-pong135
The Pessimist138
The Place where the Old Cleek Broke140
The Homes of London143
The Happiest Land146
A London Involuntary151
Bluebeard154
The Woman with the Dead Soles166
Rosemary (A Ballad of the Boudoir)170
Portknockie's Porter172
The Ballad of the Little Jinglander176
Aftword182
Envoi185