Chapter X · RETURN FROM INDIA—MY LOG-BOOK.

March 6th, 1863: Embarked at Kurrachee on board the transport ship Cospatrick, of 1200 tons, and set sail early on the morning of the 7th.

8th: Sunday; slight wind; ship going at the rate of four knots per hour; Divine service at ten o’clock A.M.; sail in sight, but took no notice of her.

10th: Great confusion on board this morning, the baggage lying about the deck; land now faintly descried, and we are soon out of sight of it altogether, and nothing is seen save the wide expanse of the ocean, and the sky so serene. What a lovely sight!—how we see the work and wonders of God in the deep.

11th: Sailing very slow; still, we are thankful to an ever ruling Hand for bringing us so far and so prosperously on our passage.

13th: The whole of the troops, women, and children, in good health. Plenty of music, instrumental and vocal, this evening; it helped to while away the time.

14th: Very good sailing, at the rate of six knots. A private of the 7th Regiment of Foot died early this morning; the funeral service being read, his body was committed to the deep.

15th: Sunday; rose early this morning; nearly a calm; thanked Almighty God for His providential care over us. If we only knew how deeply we are indebted to that Being who careth so much for us; tossed about on the mighty deep, we cannot but see His almighty power, and exclaim, with wondrous awe, How the God of all the earth hath marked everything out in a mysterious way! Our noble vessel going slowly but steadily on her course.

16th: A fair wind; going at the rate of six knots; nine days at sea; in latitude 12° north of the line; flying fish in abundance; observe them skimming above the water. What a sight a troop-ship such as ours is, composed of so many men of different regiments, women and children, in all about 400 souls—invalids and time-expired soldiers. What a difference in going home besides it was some six years ago when I left Kingstown along with my regiment; how smoothly and correctly everything went at that time; but now there is nothing but confusion. There are men invalided going home now who never joined their respective regiments out in India; young soldiers, who came out from England in 1861, got sick of the country, and are now going home without seeing the colours of their corps. These men are served out with soap, tobacco, flannels, &c., by Government or some other fund, I know not from which, neither do I care; but the time-expired soldier, who has served his Queen and his country in a noble cause, and who suffered the fatigues and hardships of the Crimean war, and a rebellion remarkable in history, and helped to save the Indian empire, when their term of service expires, after an honourable apprenticeship and a broken down constitution, do they get any of the little articles that I have mentioned? The answer is, No. Just think for one moment, and make a comparison. The men who joined the service in 1861 came out to India and go home now without ever seeing the colours of their regiments unfurled; and the men who joined the army in 1851, who served their country with honour, went through the struggles of the Crimean war, and also who saved the Indian empire, retire from the service with a broken down constitution; yet, there are neither flannels, soap, nor tobacco for those brave and hardy fellows! This is true: I witnessed the articles served out yesterday to those who were never in action. I leave it now to my readers; and I would ask the question, If the time-expired soldiers are not entitled at least to an equal share? Observed a number of fish very like the grampus swarming about the vessel. Beautiful sky, and a steady breeze. What a blessing to be in good health; there is not a case of sickness on board, with the exception of some old standing cases. Some of my readers will be very apt to say, Why did I speak of time-expired soldiers and invalids in this small work? The answer is a very simple one:—everything that I have mentioned above came under my own observation while on board ship, and what I have stated is true. I am myself a time-expired soldier, and have seen active and good service. Nearly the whole of my service has been in a foreign climate, and very often in front of the enemy; and what I have already said in regard to the injustice done to the time-expired soldier is perfectly true, and I doubt not but that some will feel for the brave fellows who often stood the brunt of battle and the severe winter in the Crimea. There are still a few of my countrymen who will sympathize with those brave and hardy fellows who stood the brunt of many a struggle, and say with me, that they were entitled to an equal share of the little comforts of life on their way home.

17th: Still going along, sailing slow, at the rate of four knots per hour; things go on a little better; more regularity. Towards evening the rain pours down in torrents; very uncomfortable weather to us at sea; all the appearance of a storm.

19th: The sky very clear; made acquaintance with a young man, and entered into conversation with him; talked a great deal of home and of India. I asked him his opinion on the subject of the time-expired men. He appeared to be highly pleased with my remarks. He gave me one instance, and I will here lay it before my readers. He said, “I fell in with a young soldier one day at Kurrachee; he belonged to the 51st Regiment. I asked him if he was long out in India, and if he had joined his regiment. The answer he gave me was, ‘No; I never saw my regiment, nor I don’t intend to join it!’ I then said, why not? You should make yourself acquainted with the men of your regiment, see its colours, find out the number of engagements it has taken a part in, and so on; you will never be able, said I, to tell when you go home all the honours your regiment wears on its colours. ‘Ah!’ said he, ‘I came out here about six months ago, and the doctor tells me he will send me to Bombay for my health; then when I do get there, I will be invalided home, and be served out with flannels, soap, and tobacco. A fig for my regiment; I never wish to join it.’” Here is an example of a soldier; still, he is thought more of than the hardy, brave fellows who went through the mutiny, and were for years exposed to a burning sun. Some will say, “Poor fellow, he must be delicate, or something very serious the matter with him:” but I can assure my readers, he is like a number more in Her Majesty’s service—sick only of the service—yet he is thought more of than the time-expired soldier. If the service had 10,000 of this kind of stuff, what would become of the British army? The shades of evening again closed around us, and our noble barque rides along, in the prospect of making a quick passage home.

20th: A great deal of rain fell during the night; got up very early this morning. How uncomfortable it is to be on board ship in rainy weather; the spirits get very low. We have got another lot of passengers on board, which I have not mentioned before: I will here describe them, so that my readers may form an idea of our cargo. Among the feathered tribe are parrots of every variety, and they are a complete pest; and I would advise those who are still in India, and on the eve of coming home, to bring nothing cumbrous along with them—four months at sea is tedious and trying enough. We have also a lot of monkeys full of trick; Jacko is a rare animal. We have likewise swine in abundance, with geese, ducks, &c. Here, then, is a stock of the animal creation, 340 men, 20 women, and 30 children. I would compare the interior of our vessel to nothing else but a Babel of confused languages.

21st: Clouds appear in the distance, and the motion of the water tells of a coming storm; the crew are all prepared to shorten sail, but the storm passes over to leeward, and leaves our good ship to go unmolested on her journey. When I call to memory time gone by, how short it appears, now that I am going to my native land, after an absence of twelve years. I have spent the last few years out in India, exposed to a burning sun, and gone through the hardships of two campaigns. Fatigue, hunger, and thirst I have felt in their most awful forms, and still I am spared by the hand of an Almighty Power. Disease and sickness I have seen carrying away many a brave comrade to an untimely grave, yet I escaped untouched; and now, as I glide along, I cannot but think on the past, and of companions so dear to me, who stood victorious on many a hard-contested field. Alas! they are now no more—they lie in a far distant land.

23d: The weather fine and serene, the sun shining in all its splendour. We have had some singing and dancing this evening; the dancing consisted of reels and country dances; all in good health.

24th: The wind still favourable; the time glides away with ease. Something new this morning, exercise for the men; very comical on board ship; marching past to the tune of “Over the water to Charlie”; 2° north; getting very near the Equator, and nearly a calm. I trust that the wind will rise during the night, still, we must not complain. Oh for a glance of bonny Scotland, where all the beauty of nature is resplendent in its glory! One may travel a thousand miles in India and see nothing to carry the mind back to former days.

25th: No progress in this day’s sailing; a dead calm; very low in spirits, still, Providence is kind; there is nothing but trials before us, so we must make the best of every-day life.

26th: Several showers this day; still making no progress; a bad place to be becalmed in. When I left Kurrachee I made up my mind that I would arrive in England in about one hundred days; but we do not know the future; it is as well; with a little patience many difficulties may be overcome. I retired to rest, trusting in Divine Providence that he would steer our bark in safety over the mighty deep, and that in his own good time we would all land in safety on the shores of old England—

27th: Still remain about the same place; not a ruffle in the water; two large sharks hover about the vessel, but they are cunning enough, and refuse the bait; they appear to have been cheated before.

28th: The wind freshens, and the vessel once more moves onward; how cheerful every one seems to be—all new life after a calm of a few days. I trust that this light breeze will continue, and carry us across the line, and then we will have every chance of catching the trade winds. Four months at sea would seem very long to some people; but it is the soldier’s fortune, or misfortune, to go wherever his country may call him. I can now say with pleasure that I have spent many happy days in the army, although at times I have been sad when I call back to memory the past twelve years of my life. What strange scenes I have seen: I think I could write a little history of remarkable incidents, from the commencement of the Crimean war up to the suppression of the Indian mutiny. Everything that occurred during these eventful periods is still fresh in my memory. Oh that I had made a better use of my younger days when at school; but I slighted the golden opportunity, and now I see my folly, and deeply regret that I so much neglected the earliest and happiest days of my life.

29th: A good deal of thunder; what a powerful effect it has on the water; the very bottom of the deep seems to be disturbed. By two P.M. a fine breeze springs up, and we glide along.

30th: The weather getting cooler; as we go south, we find this time of year winter in this part of our globe. Another death took place this afternoon; it was that of a young child about two years of age. I happened to be very near it during the last moments of its life. The parents were present at the last struggle. The funeral service having been read, the body was committed to the deep—there to await that great day when the sea shall give up its dead. A few sheep died from the excessive heat; and I am of opinion that the bad usage they get bring on disease; in fact, I think they should dispense with sheep, poultry, &c., as I am confident that it would make a great improvement, or else give them quarters in or about the vicinity where dwells the parties who feed upon them, then we would have more room and fair play. I do assure you it is no easy matter to be crammed together as we are on such a long passage.

31st: A smooth sea, and no wind; how long it may last is a mystery to all of us; but I trust that the rapid current of time will bring a wind that will swell our sails and carry our good ship across the fathomless deep; to-day there is a calm; to-morrow there may be a storm; the present is only ours; there is a veil cast over the future that no mortal eye can penetrate. This makes the 25th day at sea.

April 1st: The first of April brings no wind with it; observe a great number of sea birds, very dark in the colour; we cannot be far from land; a sail in sight; cannot make her out; she is far to the port side of our ship.

3d: Got up early this morning, and was glad to see the vessel going along at the rate of six knots; getting a theatre erected on board; what a novel sight it will make; a few parrots died within the last few days; I am not sorry at this, as they make a confounded noise. I will bring to notice an affair that took place on board; indeed, I feel sorry to mention an occurrence of the kind, but as I intended, from the commencement, to bring to light several things that are looked over, I will here give one instance. I entered into conversation with a soldier of my own regiment. I saw by his appearance that he was not well. I asked him how he felt. He said that the pains were most excruciating, and that he was scarcely able to walk. I advised him to call on the doctor, and perhaps he would do something for him. So I parted with him for that night.

4th: Fell into conversation with my friend the sick man. He told me he had been at the doctor, but the medical officer in charge of the sick took no interest in his case. He told him to exercise his limbs on the deck—very good medicine indeed for an old soldier who has served twenty years. He is in possession of three war-medals, and a good conduct one; age and active service have pulled him down, yet this is the treatment he gets from the medical officer. Our Government provides an hospital on board ship for the soldier, issues out medicine, &c., for the sick, appoints a surgeon to take charge of them, yet they are not looked after. What treatment for a British soldier! The medical officer in charge is not fit for his duty, and cannot superintend the management of an hospital on board. But enough of this: it is not only in this poor fellow’s case, but in many more of the same nature. I know that the medical department gives all manner of justice to the sick—at least one would suppose so, if he only saw the returns that go to the Horse-Guards showing the expenditure for the year.

6th: A great swell in the sea; made a very good run during the last twenty-four hours—188 knots; the wind is dying away again; we are now about one month at sea; how short it seems; during that time we have run 3000 miles.

7th: Some confusion this day; the rations served out are bad; no person seems to take any interest; there is a quarter-master sergeant appointed to see that everything goes on right, but if he gets his own share he does not give one straw for any one else.

8th: Raining very heavy; observe a water-spout; what a strange phenomena; how the water rises out of the sea and ascends upwards; a strong north-east breeze drives our good ship at the rate of eight knots; all seem so cheerful and gay; 13 south; if we continue to sail as we have done the last day or two, we will double the Cape by the end of April. I would advise all who intend to make a passage out to India to be careful to protect the person from cold. The whole of the crew, women and children, are in good health. I mentioned in some part of this narrative something about insane men; I said that they were very comical. There was one who tried to obtain his discharge by feigning madness. He succeeded so far as to be invalided home from India. He was one of the party who got a share of the warm clothing gratis. How the authorities are gulled and Government robbed. The weather very mild; several showers of rain; in latitude 27° 33′ south.

15th: The wind strong, and in our favour. What a joyful sound to hear all hands make sail; studding sails and top-gallant sails are set, and our noble vessel runs at the rate of ten knots an hour.

17th: There is nothing of any importance that has taken place during the past few days. The theatre is in progress; the amateurs are busy painting scenery, and I believe they are to appear on Monday, bringing on the stage the fifth act of Macbeth. The pieces to be played are to be selections taken from Shakspeare.

19th: Sighted two vessels; spoke one; she belonged to Hamburg; her cargo was tea, from China, homeward bound; the other was the Eugene, of Liverpool, with cotton; overtook both these vessels, and soon left them far behind, in latitude 32° 17′ south.

20th: The weather cloudy, and very like rain; the breeze very strong, and bearing round ahead. We got our theatre started at last. The piece came off very well, considering the hands. What a novel sight at sea. I was asked to write a prologue: it was as follows:—

The Macbeth was very good, and also the Macduff; the farce “The Dead Shot,” was very laughable, and came off with great applause. A couple of songs were sung by Messrs Gowan and Smith; the whole very successful.

23d: The wind changed during the night more in our favour; we cannot depend on the weather. There were a few articles of clothing served out yesterday to the time-expired soldiers, consisting of two smock frocks, and one pair of socks. As we are getting well on our passage, they appear to take a little more interest in the time-expired soldier; but the articles they gave us yesterday are of no use to us. Why not give us flannel shirts and drawers, as they have given to the invalided soldier. I have not the least hesitation in saying that Government is of the opinion that we get an equal share on leaving India. When I call back to memory the time of the Crimean war, when we were naked and starved for want of clothing and food, our beloved Queen was kind and sympathizing, our country generous and liberal; and where lay the fault? how was the soldier not fed as he ought to be? still he went on from day to day, with scarcely as much clothing on his back as would cover his nakedness, and that without a murmur;—I say, where lay the fault? Those who were appointed by Government to carry out that work failed in their office; they were at home indulging in the luxuries of a dining-room, while the poor soldier was eating raw pork and hard biscuit, exposed to the severe blasts of winter, without house and without fuel; and these gentlemen could sit at home and keep those useful things about them, which, had they come to the Crimea, would have saved many a gallant fellow from going to an untimely grave. Let shame and confusion cover the faces of those who were the cause of so much misery, suffering, and death.

24th: The weather very boisterous, and a strong head-wind; being so near the Cape, we cannot look for calm weather.

25th: Land in sight; descried it about noon; how all on board welcomed the joyous sight; I cannot give the name of it, but it is on the coast of Africa.

May 1st: A strong gale brought in the first of May, and the wind ahead; the vessel is stripped of all her canvas; very stormy weather, and like a storm; how nobly our vessel rides and faces the angry billows; she is a good craft, but her sails are torn to ribbons.

2d: The wind fallen, but the sea is still running very high, the vessel rolling very much; very cold; feeling the change of climate very much; I trust a good breeze may spring up, and carry us round the Cape.

3d: Another Sabbath-day on board, making the ninth; Divine service as usual; a hurricane came on about ten o’clock A.M., still, our noble vessel rides amid the storm; the weather very cold.

9th: Suffering very much from the effects of a cold; very feverish; no use going to ask medical advice; very likely I would receive the same treatment as the old soldier already spoken about. What a blessing it is to be in good health; we do not value that great blessing as we ought. It is when we are laid upon a bed of sickness, and no tender hand to smooth our lonely pillow, tossed about on the fathomless deep, we often exclaim, Restore me to my wonted health and strength, and I will give Thee praise, O our God. Another sail in sight a good way ahead; appears to be homeward bound. Another death took place to-day—that of a private of the 7th Regiment of Foot; he had been suffering some time from dysentery. Poor fellow! he was greatly worn out, and the pain that he suffered a short time previous to his death was almost beyond endurance. The funeral service having been read, his body was committed to the deep.

10th: A sail in sight; passed by our weather bow, outward bound; working to-day amongst the married people’s baggage. I never thought for one moment that married people were allowed so many boxes. I hear some of the women say, “O, Mrs So and So, I have seen only four of my trunks; I wonder where can the other four be?” and so on. Here, then, is a lot of lumber choking up the vessel. The women should just have their knapsack like the soldier, then we would have plenty of room; but when people are allowed to take home whatever they fancy, there will never be but confusion on board.

11th: Another death took place this afternoon, a boy of the name of Geddes, about nine years of age. Poor little fellow! I felt very much for him; he was an object—a cripple from his youth. The month of April slides gently away; the time goes fleeting by, and we cannot tell who amongst us may be the next to throw off this mortal coil. There is one of our number who has been suffering for the last few years from dysentery; his case is deplorable; if he survives the passage it will be little short of a miracle.

June 1st: We have now altered the ship’s course, steering N.N.W.; a good breeze springs up in our favour, and we all seem animated with new vigour in the prospect of soon getting home. For the last two or three days we have had very boisterous weather; but what a difference now—the sky so clear and serene the air so pure, and the sun shining resplendent in its glory. Sighted several vessels, apparently very much the worse from the effects of the late storm.

6th: The vessel rolling very much; great swell in the sea; thunder and lightning; very like a storm; all ordered below; the wind whistling through the rigging; we hear nothing but the sound of the angry billows.

9th: I will bring to notice an affair which took place while on board. The troops are generally divided into three watches. The watch on duty remain so for twelve hours at a time—that is, they come on duty at eight o’clock A.M. and remain till eight P.M.; this gives the remainder more room; so this duty goes on regularly, beginning with the first and ending with the third. It happened one very wet and stormy night that the soldiers composing the third watch found shelter from the cold stormy blast in front of the cabin door; they were sheltered here so far from the rain. One Capt. H—— came out of his comfortable cabin, and ordered the men away from that part of the vessel. He appeared to be annoyed by their presence, or, perhaps, thinking that they were too comfortable, he told them to get up and pace the deck, and at the same time he said not to go below, the rain pouring in torrents. This was treatment from a British officer, who seemed void of all the feelings of humanity. What harm could the poor fellows have done that Capt. H—— would thus order them away? This was not the action of a soldier. It was very evident he never saw active service, or knew anything about the trenches. Far be it from me to run down the character of an officer, but this act of Capt. H——’s was nothing but tyranny and oppression. In the field and in front of the enemy, where is the man who can surpass the British soldier? His bravery none can doubt; obedient to his officers, notwithstanding the hardships he does endure, he will uphold the honour of his country even to the cannon’s mouth, and in the hour of danger he is foremost in the fight; and now, on board ship, on his passage home, he is scorned, and looked upon as a piece of lumber knocking about the deck; this noble fighting machine is ordered away from his snug corner by one who does not know the value of the soldier. If on the cold heights, where the echo of a thousand cannon resounded in our ears, or at the relief of Lucknow, where we fought hand to hand against the cruel sepoy, we cheerfully obeyed the voice of our officers, surely, when returning home, we were entitled to some sympathy; but none did we receive.

10th: Another Sabbath-day on the wide ocean, this makes the tenth; Divine service as usual; the vessel making good progress, and the weather very mild.

11th: Still proceeding steadily on our course; very mild weather; distance from St Helena 467 miles, and 66 days out; we consider the passage now as half made—a long time to be on sea.

13th: The breeze still very light, yet we intend making St Helena in a few days. Our amateurs again appeared in the very popular Drama of “Black-Eyed Susan; or, All in the Downs.”

15th: Arrived at St Helena to-day, and cast anchor at noon; it looks a very barren island; not the least appearance of vegetation. It is famous as being the residence and burial place of Napoleon. The once renowned Bonaparte must have thought his prison place but indifferent—him who so often struck so much terror over the whole of Europe. His ambition was, however, crushed; and I cannot but now look on the place where the conqueror of nations at last found his resting-place.

16th: Having taken in a supply of water, we weighed anchor in the afternoon, and with a light breeze in our favour, we soon lost sight of the little island.

18th: The wind fell a great deal, very near a calm; hooked a number of dolphins; very good eating.

22d: Still going on our course steadily; the whole of the troops, women and children, are well. I will mention a case that came under my observation while I lay at St Helena. There were in the harbour at that time a number of vessels with troops on board, homeward bound. A sergeant of the 92d came alongside our vessel in a small boat, enquiring after a friend. In the boat along with him was another soldier, his comrade, who lay fast asleep. Not wishing to disturb him, as he had no particular friend to come and see on board, the sergeant left him alone. While in the act of coming on board, the sergeant was arrested. I could not conceive what was up. I heard the sergeant-major call out, “Seize him! make a prisoner of him!” The poor fellow looked as if he had fallen into the hands of pirates, and very naturally asked, “Where am I? and what have I done? Is this the manner I am to be treated when I come to see a friend? If I have done anything wrong, tell me, and send me back to my officer.” The poor fellow was nearly out of his wits. Who was to blame for this? It was our sergeant-major, whose only motive for such a step was a wish to be revenged for some former quarrel, and he took this mean way of attaining his end. But in this he was foiled; for our commanding officer ordered the sergeant to be at once sent back to his own vessel.

27th: Raining heavy; excessively hot. O for the banks and braes of bonny Scotland!

30th: A great deal of thunder and lightning; what an awful effect it has upon the mighty deep.

31st: Got into the north-east trade winds; another death took place this afternoon; it was one of my own regiment, an Aberdeenshire man; he was suffering from dysentery; his case was deplorable; I felt very much for him, getting so near home, and in the prospect of recruiting his health in his native land, but his strength gave way, and the King of Terrors laid hold of him. The funeral service having been read, his body was committed to the deep.—I will now pass over a few days, and leave our good vessel to run along, and again I will appear with my reader.—Looking eagerly out for land; every eye is strained to catch a view of it; went to hammock, in the hope of sighting land the following morning.

25th: Up at the peep of day, and descried land’s end. What a joyful sight to every one on board. Happy land! how we embrace you.

At length, on the 27th of June, we arrived at Portsmouth, after a favourable passage of one hundred and eighteen days; took rail from Portsmouth to London, from thence took steamer to Stirling, where the depot of the regiment lay. Arrived at Stirling Castle on the 3d of July; and after the arrival of my documents and papers, I was finally discharged, and set adrift in the wide, wide world. After serving my Queen and country with honour and distinction, I retire from the army with nought but a name!