Volume 2 / Act 1 — SCENE II.

Enter a Gentleman walking over the stage hastily; After him FLORIMEL and FLAVIA masked.

Fla. Phormio! Phormio! you will not leave us?

Gent. In faith, I have a little business.

[Exit Gent.

Cel. Cannot I serve you in the gentleman's room, ladies?

Fla. Which of us would you serve?

Cel. Either of you, or both of you.

Fla. Why, could you not be constant to one?

Cel. Constant to one!—I have been a courtier, a soldier, and a traveller, to good purpose, if I must be constant to one: Give me some twenty, some forty, some a hundred mistresses! I have more love than any woman can turn her to.

Flo. Bless us! let us be gone, cousin: We two are nothing in his hands.

Cel. Yet, for my part, I can live with as few mistresses as any man. I desire no superfluities; only for necessary change or so, as I shift my linen.

Flo. A pretty odd kind of fellow this; he fits my humour rarely. [Aside.

Fla. You are as inconstant as the moon.

Flo. You wrong him, he's as constant as the sun; he would see all the world in twenty-four hours.

Cel. 'Tis very true, madam; but, like him, I would visit, and away.

Flo. For what an unreasonable thing it were, to stay long, be troublesome, and hinder a lady of a fresh lover.

Cel. A rare creature this! [Aside]—Besides, madam, how like a fool a man looks, when, after all his eagerness of two minutes before, he shrinks into a faint kiss, and a cold compliment.—Ladies both, into your hands I commit myself; share me betwixt you.

Fla. I'll have nothing to do with you, since you cannot be constant to one.

Cel. Nay, rather than lose either of you, I'll do more; I'll be constant to an hundred of you. Or, if you will needs fetter me to one, agree the matter between yourselves; and the most handsome take me.

Flo. Though I am not she, yet since my mask is down, and you cannot convince me, have a good faith of my beauty, and for once I take you for my servant.

Cel. And for once I'll make a blind bargain with you. Strike hands; is't a match, mistress?

Flo. Done, servant.

Cel. Now I am sure I have the worst on't: For you see the worst of me, and that I do not of you, 'till you shew your face.—Yet, now I think on't, you must be handsome.

Flo. What kind of beauty do you like?

Cel. Just such a one as yours.

Flo. What's that?

Cel. Such an oval face, clear skin, hazel eyes, thick brown eye-brows, and hair as you have, for all the world.

Fla. But I can assure you, she has nothing of all this.

Cel. Hold thy peace, envy; nay, I can be constant an I set on't.

Flo. 'Tis true she tells you.

Cel. Ay, ay, you may slander yourself as you please: Then you have,—let me see.

Flo. Ill swear, you shall not see.

Cel. A turned up nose, that gives an air to your face:—Oh, I find I am more and more in love with you!—a full nether lip, an out-mouth, that makes mine water at it; the bottom of your cheeks a little blub, and two dimples when you smile: For your stature, 'tis well; and for your wit, 'twas given you by one that knew it had been thrown away upon an ill face.—Come, you're handsome, there's no denying it.

Flo. Can you settle your spirits to see an ugly face, and not be frighted? I could find in my heart to lift up my mask, and disabuse you.

Cel. I defy your mask:—Would you would try the experiment!

Flo. No, I won't; for your ignorance is the mother of your devotion to me.

Cel. Since you will not take the pains to convert me, I'll make bold to keep my faith. A miserable man, I am sure, you have made me.

Fla. This is pleasant.

Cel. It may be so to you, but it is not to me; for aught I see, I am going to be the most constant Maudlin,—

Flo. 'Tis very well, Celadon; you can be constant to one you have never seen, and have forsaken all you have seen?

Cel. It seems, you know me then:—Well, if thou should'st prove one of my cast mistresses, I would use thee most damnably, for offering to make me love thee twice.

Flo. You are i'the right: An old mistress, or servant, is an old tune; the pleasure on't is past, when we have once learned it.

Fla. But what woman in the world would you wish her like?

Cel. I have heard of one Florimel, the queen's ward; would she were as like her for beauty, as she is for humour!

Fla. Do you hear that, cousin? [To FLOR. aside.

Flo. Florimel's not handsome: Besides she's inconstant; and only loves for some few days.

Cel. If she loves for shorter time than I, she must love by winter days and summer nights, i'faith.

Flo. When you see us together, you shall judge. In the mean time, adieu, sweet servant.

Cel. Why, you won't be so inhuman to carry away my heart, and not so much as tell me where I may hear news on't?

Flo. I mean to keep it safe for you; for, if you had it, you would bestow it worse: Farewell, I must see a lady.

Cel. So must I too, if I can pull off your mask.

Flo. You will not be so rude, I hope.

Cel. By this light, but I will!

Flo. By this leg, but you shan't.

[Exeunt FLO. and FLA. running.