TRICKS of the TOWN; (continued 2)

A Foreigner of Distinction, who had formerly made the Tour of England, and during his Stay, had contracted very large Debts with several Trades-People, happened a few Months since to return to London: he chose to lodge privately, and seldom appeared abroad; but, having purchased some Tickets in the State-Lottery, and entered them at an Office in the City for an Account of their Success to be transmitted to him; his Creditors got knowledge of his Arrival, and the Place of his Abode. One Morning, when he was in a Dishabilié, and playing with his Dog, a Sheriff's Officer sans Ceremonie entered the Room, and taking a Writ out of his Pocket, shew'd it to the Count, telling him, he arrested him in an Action for Five Hundred Pounds. The Foreigner understanding but very little English, fell to hugging the Bailiff in his Arms, and thrust eight Guineas into his Hand as a Reward, thinking he had brought him the News of a Five Hundred Pound Prize in the Lottery; and then capered about the Room like a Dancing-Master, calling in French to his Valet and Interpreter, who were in an adjacent Room, to come to partake of his Joy. By this time three dirty Ruffians like Street-Robbers were at the Chamber-door, and the whole House in an Uproar. The Count was soon convinced of his Error, and obliged to find Bail to the Action; and there being none in the Room but the Bailiff and himself when the Writ was executed, the Rascal absolutely denied the Present of Eight Guineas, and got three more for his Civility, in not carrying him out of the House.

A noted Town-Sharper being in Company with others of his Acquaintance, and tossing about his Purse with Fifty Guineas in it, swore he must make them an Hundred between Sun and Sun, or else he must be liable to an Arrest, and go to Jayl for the Money. He went to his Lodgings in Westminster, and taking off his Coat and Neckcloth, put on his Night-Gown, and stuck a Pen under his Perriwig, and laying aside his Hat, ordered a Hackney-Coach to be called to the Door; his Order was to be set down at Stocks-Market, from thence he walked into a Banker's Shop in Lombard-Street, and pointing towards one of the neighbouring Lanes, said, there was an old whimsical Lady at his Shop just come to Town, who had required him to get her fifty of Queen Anne's Guineas in Change of others to carry home with her into the Country; and that, being an extraordinary good Customer, he could not fail obliging her. The Banker's Servant answered, they had, no doubt, a good number of them, but it would give him a great deal of Trouble to tumble over the Cash to find 'em. Upon this the Sharper threw him down three Half-Crowns as a Gratuity, and then several Bags of Gold opened their Mouths upon the Compter: while the Servant was busy in looking them out, the other was as busy to assist him, and every Minute was darting his Hand upon the Heaps, crying, Here's one: there's another, &c. and by the help of some Wax in the hollow of his Hand, he drew away several Guineas every time, which he conveyed into a Handkerchief he held in his Left-hand. When the Number was compleated, they parted, with much Complaisance on each side: but when the Banker came the next Morning to settle the Account of his Cash, he found in his Gold a Deficiency of Sixty Guineas.

A most satyrical Pamphlet against some Persons in Power, having been ushered into the World by an unknown Hand, and being wrote with much Spirit and Vehemence, the Thing had a prodigious Run upon the Town, so that the Profits arising from the Sale were very considerable. A Bookseller in the City, who happened to be the Proprietor of this Lucky Hit, being at his Shop-door one Evening, a Gentleman pretty humbly habited accosted him, and desired leave to exhibit to him a Copy upon a curious Subject, which, he said, was his own Performance, and which he believed wou'd do; he told him of what University he was, and by what Means his Merit had miss'd of it's Reward: He was going to apologize for the meanness of his Apparel, when the Bookseller interrupted him with a great Oath, and pointed to a Warehouse of Waste-Paper, which he said was, to his sorrow, the Production of Beaus and Blockheads of Quality; adding, it was a Maxim held by the whole Trade, that a bad Coat always betoken'd a good Poet; and that if he approv'd of his Work, his Dress should be no Obstacle to a Bargain: but that withal he seem'd to be Master of too much Modesty, he fear'd, to undertake the Business of his Shop; but if he turn'd out otherwise, and had any tolerable hand at Defamation, he had a Fifth Floor, with other Favours at his Service. The Shopkeeper said it was not customary to treat of these Matters at home, and having carried him to his Tavern, he enquir'd the Hour of the Poet's Appetite. A Bottle, with a monstrous Beef-Stake, were soon upon the Table. They now come to Business; the Bookseller was ask'd, If he was a Man of Honour, and could keep a Secret? No Man, he thank'd God, could say otherwise, for that he always endeavour'd to preserve the Character of as honest a Man as the Trade and Business would admit of. The Poet then assur'd him, he was the real Author of that severe Pamphlet against the M—n—ry, which had made such a noise in the World. The Bookseller had not been acquainted with Books alone, he knew something of Men also, and had therefore the Presence of Mind to conceal his Surprize at the monstrous Impudence of the Fellow; and giving him a fast squeeze by the Hand, says, Sir, you're my Man: and being willing to have some other Witness of this extraordinary Event, said, Then I must let you into another Secret; and gave him to understand that there was a private Contract between him and another Bookseller in the same Street, by which both their Interests were so consolidated, that the one durst not engross or monopolize to himself any Copy or Author, without the Knowledge and Consent of the other; and so desired he would give leave for his Partner to be sent for, which was readily comply'd with. The poor Man had now two upon his hands; the Bottle went briskly about, and the more merry, the more unmerciful they grew, for the Room was soon fill'd with more Booksellers, Printers, and Stationers, to see this Prodigy of Wit and Satyr: who were all recommended to him as Friends, and Well-wishers to the Cause. He became more unguarded, till at last they extorted from him the Profits accruing by the ingenious Pamphlet, for the writing of which he had set so high a Value upon himself. He was very particular and prolix on that Head, and so soon as he had ended his Relation, the first Bookseller produced, before all the Company, a Receipt, under the Hand of the true Author, for the Money he had paid him for the Copy.

FINIS.