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The Pansy Magazine, March 1886

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THE LAND OF THUS-AND-SO.

HOW would Willie like to go To the land of Thus-and-So? Everything is proper there: All the children comb their hair Smoother than the fur of cats, Or the nap of high silk hats: Every face is clean and white As a lily washed in light; Never vaguest soil or speck Found on forehead, throat or neck; Every little crimpled ear, In and out, as pure and clear As the cherry blossom's blow In the land of Thus-and-So. "Little boys that never fall Down the stairs or cry at all, Doing nothing to repent, Watchful and obedient; Never hungry, nor in haste. Tidy shoestrings always laced; Never button rudely torn From its fellows all unworn; Knickerbockers always new, Ribbon tie, and collar, too; Little watches, worn like men, Only always half-past ten: Just precisely right, you know, For the land of Thus-and-So! "And the little babies there Give no one the slightest care; Nurse has not a thing to do But be happy and say 'Boo!' While mamma just nods, and knows Nothing but to doze and doze; Never litter round the grate; Never lunch or dinner late; Never any household din Peals without or rings within, Baby coos nor laughing calls, On the stairs, or through the halls: Just great Hushes to and fro Pace the land of Thus-and-So! "O the land of Thus-and-So! Isn't it delightful, though?" "Yes," lisped Willie, answering me Somewhat slow and doubtfully: "Must be awful nice, but I Rather wait till by and by 'Fore I go there; may be when I be dead I'll go there then: But"—the troubled little face Closer pressed in my embrace: "Le's don't never ever go To the land of Thus-and-So!" J. W. Riley.

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