THE GATHERER.

A PUNSTER.

Dr. Barton was a punster. He said, "the fellows of my college wished to have an organ in the chapel, but I put a stop to it;" whether for the sake of the pun, or because he disliked music, is uncertain. He invited, for the love of punning, Mr. Crowe and Mr. Rooke to dine with him; and having given Mr. Birdmore, another guest, a hint to be rather after the time, on his appearing, said, "Mr. Rook! Mr. Crowe! I beg leave to introduce one Bird more." He married his niece to a gentleman of the hopeful name of Buckle. The enterprise succeeded beyond his expectation. Mrs. Buckle was delivered of twins. "A pair of Buckles!" "Boys or girls?" said a congratulating friend; the answer may be supposed. To him, though it has been attributed to others, belongs the glory or the shame of having said to one, who having re-established his health by a diet of milk and eggs, took a wife:—"So, you have been egged on to matrimony: I hope the yoke will sit easy on you."

PLAY BILL.

(Translated from the Spanish.)

"Write your name at full length the first time you order any thing which you ought to pay for, that the person so employed or ordered may have no difficulty of applying (legally) if necessary for payment."—The advice of one who from a common soldier died in opulence honestly gained by trade.

A French philosopher placed a statue in his hall, under which was the follow-distich:—

PARIS.

The following Notes convey some idea of the extent and resources of the French capital:—

By the last census, 1827, the population of Paris was 890,000.

Bread.—In Paris, 830,000 persons consume 227,760,000 pounds in a year.

Printing.—There are in Paris 80 printing establishments; 600 presses going; and 3,000 journeymen printers in constant employ.

Deaths.—The annual mortality is 21,033; average of suicides 200, of whom the greater number are single persons; and on an average, a death occurs every twenty minutes. Upwards of 1,100 children die annually from small-pox.

Lamps.—The city is lit with 4,533 oil lamps, with 12,672 wicks.

The River.—The river Seine where it enters Paris is 510 feet broad; at the Pont Neuf 864 feet, and where it leaves the city 400 feet broad.

Hospitals.—The income of the hospitals is 9,762,154 francs, or about £406,756.; the average cost to government for a day in the hospital, is about 11-1/2d. The maniacs from two prisons average 3,000 a year; and the majority of mad persons are unmarried.

Lottery.—The average annual receipts of the lottery is about a million sterling—of which the treasury receive about £180,000. the remainder being the adventurers'.

Marriages.—The average of marriages is 6,316, or 1 marriage in every 108 persons. Marriages are most frequent in February, and least in December. There is rather more than an average of three children to each marriage.

Births.—The births average 27,000, or 1 birth for every 12 minutes; of the number, 8,760 are illegitimate.

Gaming Houses.—The annual receipt is £360,000.; the whole expenses £60,000. Those who lease them clear in 6 years about £83,000.

Wine Tax.—The annual revenue is a million sterling.

Theatres.—There are 10,000 persons daily at the theatres, Of these, it is estimated, 6,816 pay for admission. The annual average receipts of all the theatres is £209,298.

Tombs.—The price for a tomb in Pere la Chaise, is about £4. without the right to the grave; some have cost £1,400. Those erected to women are fewer by half than those for men.

Travellers.—The average since the peace of 1814, is 17,676 English residents or travellers in Paris.

MOTTO AND TRANSLATION.

DIALOGUE BETWEEN GLUTTON AND ECHO.

The following lines, written in the year 1609, are said to have induced Butler to pursue the same idea in his Hudibras;

Dialogue.

Glutton.—My belly I do deify.

Echo.—Fie.

Glutton.—Who curbs his appetite's a fool.

Echo.—Ah! fool!

Glutton.—I do not like this abstinence.

Echo.—Hence!

Glutton.—My joy's a feast, my wish is wine.

Echo.—Swine.

Glutton.—We epicures are happy truly.

Echo.—You lie.

Glutton.—May I not, Echo, eat my fill.

Echo.—Ill.

Glutton.—Will it hurt me if I drink too much?

Echo.—Much.

Glutton.—Thou mock'st me nymph, I'll not believe it.

Echo.—Believe it.

Glutton.—Dost thou condemn then what I do?

Echo.—I do.

Glutton.—Is it that which brings infirmities?

Echo.—It is!

Glutton.—Then sweetest temperance I'll love thee.

Echo. I love thee..

Glutton.—

Echo.—Farewell.

W.A.

EPITAPH ON A GAMESTER.

Suicide is very common among the New Zealanders: thus, a woman who has been beaten by her husband will perhaps hang herself immediately.

LIMBIRD'S EDITION OF THE

Following Novels is already Published:

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