NOTES OF A READER

KNOWING PEOPLE.

How happily do these few lines characterize a certain set of people who pick up news from "good authority," and settle the fate of the nation over strong potations of brandy and water, or Calvert's porter, forgetting that "people who drink beer, think beer." Suppose a question of great public interest afloat:—"Reports are abroad, precisely of the proper pitch of absurdity, for the greedy swallowing of the great grey-goggle-eyed public, who may be seen standing with her mouth wide open like a crocodile, with her hands in her breeches-pockets, at the crosses of cities on market-days, gluttonously devouring whatever rumour flings into her maw—nor in the least aware that she is all the time eating wind. People of smallish abilities begin to look wiser and wiser every day—their nods seem more significant—in the shaking of their heads there is more of Burleigh—and in short sentences—that sound like apophthegms—they are apt to impose themselves on their credulous selves as so many Solomons."

NEW CHURCHES.

Among the numerous sermons lately preached in pursuance of the King's letter for the enlargement and building of churches and chapels, we notice one by the vicar of Dorking, in Surrey, from which we extract the following:—"In many places of this country it is lamentable to behold the ruinous state of churches. If a man's dwelling-house be decayed, he will never cease till it be restored; if his barn, where he bestows all his fruits and his goods, be out of repair, what diligence doth he use to make it perfect? If the stable for his horse, or the sty for his swine, be not able to exclude the severity of weather, when the rains fall, and the winds blow, how careful is he to incur the necessary cost? Shall we then be so mindful of our common houses, deputed to such low occupations, and be forgetful toward that house of God, in which are expounded the words of our eternal salvation—in which are administered the sacraments and mysteries of our redemption?"—The persuasiveness of this argument is admirable, and its amiable tone and temper are infinitely more suitable than the florid appeal.

We also learn that Parliament has already voted a million and a half of money to the sole use of building churches, and that in the diocese in which Dorking is situated, thirty-two cases have been aided by the sum of 6,230l.

But the church of Dorking is in a dilapidated state, and is capable of containing only one-fifth of the inhabitants. It was "probably erected about the commencement of the twelfth century; and the crumbling walls may almost be said to totter under the massive roof." This calls forth the following pious exhortation: "Our lot is cast in a pleasant place. Let us manifest our thankfulness to the Giver of every good gift by a structure dedicated to his service, corresponding with the magnificence of private mansions, and the natural beauties of local scenery." We can only wonder that, in a neighbourhood abounding with men of rank and opulence, such an appeal is necessary.

SHORT-HAND.

"Sound is the gauge of short-hand, and connexion the master-key for deciphering." Such is one of the axioms in Mr. Harding's eighth edition of his very valuable little "System of Short-Hand,"—to which, by way of pleasant illustration, he appends, the "Dirge on Miss LN G," copied by us from the "New Monthly Magazine;" but we give Mr. H. credit for the present application. We could write a whole number of the MIRROR on the advantages of short-hand to the community; but as that would not be a practical illustration, we desist. Only think of the "Times" newspaper being scores of miles from town before half London has risen; and the Duke of Bedford, reading the previous night's debates at his breakfast table at Woburn Abbey. What would all Mr. Applegath's machinery do towards producing the newspaper without the aid of short-hand, which makes its expedition second only to thought. Half an hour's delay of "the paper" makes us fret and fume and condemn the fair provider of our breakfast—for over-roasted coffee and stale eggs—all because the paper is not "come;" but when would it come without short-hand? why at dinner-time, and that would make short work of a day—for thousands cannot set to work till they have consulted it as a mainspring of action. People who aim at the short cuts to knowledge should study stenography, and for this purpose they will do well to provide themselves with Mr. Harding's System, which will be as good as "a cubit to a man's height."

LOVE'S MASTERY.

CRUELTY TO ANIMALS.

The second edition of a pamphlet, entitled the Voice of Humanity, has just reached us. It contains details of the disgusting cruelties of the metropolis—as bear and badger baiting, dog-fighting, slaughtering-horses, &c.—and reference to the abattoirs, or improved slaughter-houses for cattle, which was illustrated in our 296th Number. In the appendix are many interesting particulars of Smithfield Market and similar nuisances. The pamphlet is dedicated to that enlightened friend of humanity, Sir James Mackintosh, and it appears worthy of his patronage.

WOMANKIND.

The womankind never looks sae bonnie as in wunter, accepp indeed it may be in spring. You auld bachelors ken naething o' womankind—and hoo should ye, when they treat you wi' but ae feelin', that o' derision? Oh, sirs! but the dear creters do look weel in muffs—whether they haud them, wi' their invisible hauns clasped thegither in their beauty within the cozy silk linin', close prest to their innicent waists, just aneath the glad beatins o' their first love-touched hearts. Or haud them hingin' frae their extended richt arms, leavin' a' the feegur visible, that seems taller and slimmer as the removed muff reveals the clasps o' the pelisse a' the way doon frae neck till feet! Then is there, in a' the beautifu' and silent unfauldin's o' natur amang plants and flowers, ony thing sae beautifu' as the white, smooth, saft chafts o' a bit smilin' maiden o' saxteen, aughteen, or twunty, blossomin' out, like some bonnie bud or snaw-white satin frae a coverin' o' rough leaves,—blossomin' out, sirs, frae the edge o' the fur-tippet, that haply a lover's happy haun had delicately hung ower her gracefu' shoothers—oh, the dear, delightfu' little Laplander!—Noctes—Blackwood's Magazine.

CAPTAIN ROCK.

There are few of our readers who need to be informed that Captain Rock's Letters to the King are certainly not written by Mr. Moore, to whom, while the publication was suspended, they were so positively ascribed.—Q. Rev.

THE LIBRARY AT HOLKHAM.

The manuscripts of Lord Coke are in the possession of his descendant, Mr. Coke, of Norfolk, his representative through the female issue of Lord Leicester, the male heir of the chief justice. At this gentleman's princely mansion of Holkham, is one of the finest collections, or, indeed, libraries of manuscripts anywhere preserved; certainly the finest in any private individual's possession. It partly consists of the chief justice's papers; the rest, and the bulk of it, was collected by that accomplished nobleman who built the mansion, the last male heir of the great lawyer. He had spent many years abroad, where his taste was improved and his general education perfected. He collected a vast number of the most valuable manuscripts. Of these the exquisitely illuminated missals, and other writings of a similar description, which would from their perfect beauty and great rarity bear the highest price in the market, are certainly by far the least precious in the eyes of literary men. Many of the finest codices of the Greek, Latin, and old Italian classics are to be found in this superb collection. Among others are no less than thirteen of Livy, a favourite author of Lord Leicester, whom he had made some progress in editing, when he learnt that Drakenborchius, the well known German critic, had proceeded further in the same task, and generously handed over to him the treasures of his library. The excellent edition of that commentator makes constant reference to the Holkham manuscripts, under the name of MSS. Lovelliana, from the title of Lovell; Lord Leicester not having then been promoted to the earldom. Mr. Coke, with a becoming respect for the valuable collection of his ancestors, was desirous to have the manuscripts unfolded, bound, and arranged, both with a view to their preservation and to the facility of consulting them. They had lain for half a century neglected, and in part verging towards decay, when he engaged his valued friend, William Roscoe, to undertake the labour so congenial to his taste and habits, of securing these treasures from the ravages of time. From the great number of the manuscripts, the state in which many of them were, and the distance of Mr. Roscoe's residence, this was necessarily a work of time. After above ten years employed on it, the task is now finished. Each work is beautifully and classically bound; and to each Mr. Roscoe has prefixed, in his own fair hand writing, a short account of the particular manuscript, with the bibliographical learning appertaining to it.—Library of Useful Knowledge.

PHRENOLOGY.

Mr. Crook, of the Phrenological Society, has just published a "Compendium of Phrenology," which cannot fail to be acceptable to the ingenious inquirers after that very ingenious science. It is a lucid little arrangement of principles, and will materially assist them; but, for our part, we confess we would sooner take the public opinion of the contents of our cranium than that of a whole society of phrenologists; and if our head be as full as our sheet, we shall be content. But, joking apart, the little synopsis before us cannot be too highly recommended; and by way of hint to some friends who send us witty articles for "the Gatherer," we take the following:—

"Wit. Primitive Power. Perception of the disjunction or incongruity of ideas; the analytical faculty. Uses: Separation of compound or general ideas into those that are elementary or more simple; knowledge of characteristic differences and discrepance. Abuses: A disposition to jest or ridicule; irony, sarcasm, and satire, without respect to truth, or the circumstances of person, place, or time. Organ, on the other side of Causality.

"It is not the definition of Wit, but the function of a particular portion of the brain at which I aim. Dr. Spurzheim, in some of his works, calls the faculty connected with this organ, 'the feeling of the ludicrous;' in his later ones, 'Gayness,' and 'Mirthfulness.' But each of these is properly an effect, not a primitive power. The ludicrous owes its origin to the contrariety between the parts or means, as perceived by this faculty, and the general whole, or purpose, perceived by Comparison, or the necessary connexion perceived by Causality; and Gaiety, Mirth, and Laughter, arise from the mutual influence and reaction of the feelings. Some kinds of contrariety or incongruity excite one class of feelings, other kinds altogether different feelings; and consequently, according to the faculty or combination of faculties affected, the kinds of mirth and laughter are varied from the Sardonic grin of Destructiveness to the lover's smile. This view of the origin of laughter enables us to give a satisfactory answer to the hitherto perplexing question, 'Why is man the only laughing animal?'"

EPIGRAM

From the Greek Anthology, (Author unknown.)

BY THE REV. W. SHEPHERD.

PORTRAIT PAINTING.

The good portrait painter always flatters; for it is his business, not, indeed, to alter and amend features, complexion, or mien, but to select and fix (which it demands genius and sense to do) the best appearance which these ever do wear. Happy the creature of sense and passion who has always with him that self which he could take pleasure in contemplating! Happy—to pass graver considerations—the fair one whose countenance continues as youthful as her attire! When Queen Elizabeth's wrinkles waxed deep and many, it is reported that an unfortunate master of the mint incurred disgrace by a too faithful shilling; the die was broken, and only one mutilated impression is now in existence. Her maids of honour took the hint, and were thenceforth careful that no fragment of looking-glass should remain in any room of the palace. In fact, the lion-hearted lady had not heart to look herself in the face for the last twenty years of her life; but we nowhere learn that she quarrelled with Holbein's portraitures of her youth, or those of her stately prime of viraginity by De Heere and Zucchero.

He who has "neither done things worthy to be written, nor written things worthy to be read," takes the trouble of transmitting his portrait to posterity to very little purpose. If the picture be a bad one, it will soon find its way to the garret; if good, as a work of art, it will perpetuate the fame, probably the name, indeed, of the artist alone. These are the obscurorum virorum imagines which, as Walpole said, "are christened commonly in galleries, like children at the Foundling Hospital, by chance"—Q. Rev.

LOSING A SHOE AND A DINNER.

As Ozias Linley, Sheridan's brother-in-law, was one morning setting out on horseback for his curacy, a few miles from Norwich, his horse threw off one of his shoes. A lady, who observed the accident, thought it might impede Mr. Linley's journey, and seeing that he himself was unconscious of it, politely reminded him that one of his horse's shoes had just come off. "Thank you, madam," replied Linley; "will you then have the goodness to put it on for me?"

Linley one day received a card to dine with the late archbishop of Canterbury, who was then bishop of Norwich. Careless into what hole or corner he threw his invitations, he soon lost sight of the card, and forgot it altogether. A year revolved, when, on wiping the dust from some papers he had stuck on the glass over the chimney, the bishop's invitation for a certain day in the month (he did not think of the year one instant,) stared him full in the face, and taking it for granted that it was a recent one, he dressed himself on the appointed day, and proceeded to the palace. But his diocesan was not in London, a circumstance of which, though a matter of some notoriety to the clergy of the diocese, he was quite unconscious; and he returned dinnerless home.

SENTIMENT AND APPETITE.

We remember an amiable enthusiast, a worshiper of nature after the manner of Rousseau, who, being melted into feelings of universal philanthropy by the softness and serenity of a spring morning, resolved, that for that day, at least, no injured animal should pollute his board; and having recorded his vow, walked six miles to gain a hamlet, famous for fish dinners, where, without an idea of breaking his sentimental engagement, he regaled himself on a small matter of crimped cod and oyster sauce—Q. Rev.

FORTIFICATION.

The walls of Tenchira, in Africa, form one of the most perfect remaining specimens of ancient fortification. They are a mile and a half in circuit, defended by 26 quadrangular towers, and admitting no entrance but by two opposite gates.

MEDIOCRITY, in poetry, is intolerable to gods and to booksellers, and to all intermediate beings.

SONNET TO THE CAMELLA JAPONICA.

BY W. ROSCOE, ESQ.

PIGS.

One day when Giotto, the painter, was taking his Sunday walk, in his best attire, with a party of friends, at Florence, and was in the midst of a long story, some pigs passed suddenly by, and one of them, running between the painter's legs, threw him down. When he got on his legs again, instead of swearing a terrible oath at the pig on the Lord's day, as a graver man might have done, he observed, laughing, "People say these beasts are stupid, but they seem to me to have some sense of justice, for I have earned several thousands of crowns with their bristles, but I never gave one of them even a ladleful of soup in my life."—Lanzi.

TURKISH FIREMEN.

The firemen of Constantinople are accused of sometimes discharging oil from their engines instead of water.