THE GATHERER

EPICURISM.

(For the Mirror.)

At a public dinner, Captain R. commencing a conversation with a gentleman next to him, was astonished at not being able to elicit one word in answer. At length his silent neighbour turned to him, and said, with a look and tone suitable to the importance of the communication, "Sir, whenever you are at a venison feast, let me advise you never to speak during dinner. In endeavouring to reply to you, I have actually at this moment swallowed entire a fine piece of fat, without tasting it!"

J.G.R.

An Englishman, named Drinkwater, was nearly drowned the other day off Boulogne; on hearing which, a wag observed that he had "almost taken a drop too much."

FLY WATER.

Prussic Acid has been obtained from the leaves of green tea, in so concentrated a state, that one drop killed a dog almost instantaneously. A strong infusion of Souchong tea, sweetened with sugar, is as effectual in poisoning flies as the solution of arsenic, generally sold for that purpose.

There may now be seen, written on a board on a new house in the Blackfriars-road, the following words:—"Hird robeish may be had heare."

BILLY.

NO JOKE OR RIDDLE.

The following lines are copied from a seat in Greenwich Park, written in chalk; and from their style, they may be supposed to have been written by one who meditated suicide:—

Written also in the same hand:—Charlotte Rumpling, you did not use me well, but I forgive you—God bless you.

EDWIN W——.

WANTS A WIFE.

She must bee middel eaged and good tempered widdow, or a Maid, and pursest of propertey, and I wood far reather have a Wife that is ever so plain then a fine Lady that think herself hansom; the Advertiser is not rich nor young, old nor poor, and in a very few years he will have a good incumb. Can be hiley reckamended for onestey, sobrieaty, and good temperd, and has no in combranc, is very actif, but not a treadesman, have been as Butler and Bailiff for meney years in most respectable families, and shood I not be so luckey as to get me a wife, wood be most willing to take a sitteyeashan once moor, wood prefer living in the countrey, under stands Brewing feamosley, is well adapted for a inn or publick hous. Please to derect W.W., 268, Berwick-street, Oxford-roade, or aney Ladey may call and have a interview with the widdow that keeps the hous, and say wher and when we can meet each other. All letters must be pd, no Ofice-keeper to applygh. My fameley ar verey well off and welthey, far above the midling order.

This is a good joke upon Matrimonial Advertising.

Jack Bannister visited the Haymarket theatre on Wednesday night, August 20, and made in the free-list book the following entry:—"Fifty years ago, in the year 1778, I made my first appearance at this theatre. Half a century is not bad. Hurra!! John Bannister."

ALPHABETICAL AGREEMENT.

In reading over an agreement, for letting a house, the other day, the initials of the party letting it were A.B., of the party taking C.D., and of the witness to the signatures E.F.

OBSTINACY AND PERSEVERANCE.

Obstinacy and perseverance, though often confounded, are two very different things; a man may be very obstinate, and yet not persevere in his opinion ten minutes. Obstinacy is resistance to truth; perseverance is a continuance in truth or error.

T.C.C.

IDOLATRY.

The origin of idolatry is by many attributed to the age of Eber, though most of the fathers place it no higher than that of Serug; but it appears to me certain, that image worship existed in the time of Jacob, from the account of Rachel taking images along with her on leaving her father's house, which is given in the book of Genesis.

T.C.C.

ORIGIN OF THE WORD GALLIMATHIAS.

This word, which signifies nonsense, alias talk without meaning, is supposed to have first arisen at the time when all pleadings at the bar were in Latin. There was a cause, it seems, about a cock, belonging to the plaintiff Matthias; the counsel, in the heat of the harangue, by often repeating the words gallus and Matthias, happened to blunder, and, instead of saying gallus Matthiae, said galli Matthias, which at length became a general name for all confused, embroiled language and discourse.

P.T.W.

SALLIE TO JOHN.

Dublin.

JAN RHI.

Diogenes was not in the wrong, who, when the great Alexander, finding him in the charnel-house, asked him what he was seeking for, answered, "I am seeking for your father's bones, and those of my slave; but I cannot find them, because there is no difference between them."

G.K.

GETTING A JOURNEY.

By Dr. Kitchiner.

I GOT on horseback within ten minutes after I received your letter. When I GOT to Canterbury, I GOT a chaise for town. But I GOT wet through before I GOT to Canterbury, and I have GOT such a cold as I shall not be able to GET rid of in a hurry. I GOT to the Treasury about noon, but first of all I GOT shaved and drest. I soon GOT into the secret of GETTING a memorial before the board, but I could not GET an answer then; however, I GOT intelligence from the messenger that I should most likely GET one next morning. As soon as I GOT back to my inn, I GOT my supper and GOT to bed. It was not long before I GOT to sleep. When I GOT up in the morning, I GOT my breakfast, and then GOT myself drest, that I might GET out in time, to GET an answer to my memorial. As soon as I GOT it, I GOT into the chaise, and GOT home by three o'clock.

Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD 143, Strand, (near Somerset House,} London; sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.