THE GATHERER.
Reading edition
"I am but a Gatherer and disposer of other men's stuff."—Wotton.
TAKING PHYSIC.
David Hartley eat two hundred pounds weight of soap to cure the stone, but died of that disease. Bishop Berkeley drank a butt of tar-water. Meyer, in a course of chemical neutralization, swallowed 1,200 pounds of crabs' eyes. In the German Ephemerides, the case of a person is described who had taken so much elixir of vitriol, that his keys were rusted in his pocket by the transudation of the acid through the pores of his skin; another patient is said to have taken argentum nitratum in solution till he became blue. Throw physic to the dogs!
MARRIAGE.
There are two cardinal points in a man's life, which determine his happiness or his misery; these are his birth and his marriage. It is in vain for a man to be born fortunate if he be unfortunate in his marriage.
PERVERSENESS OF FOREIGNERS.
"What a rum language they talk in this place!" said an English sailor the other day to his companion, who arrived a few days later than the speaker himself had done at Rochefort—"Why, they call a cabbage a shoe—(choux!)" "They are a d—d set!" was the reply, "why can't they call it a cabbage!"
In a newspaper, dated January 31, 1746, we find the following theatrical announcement:—
"We are certainly informed that on Monday next, at the Theatre Royal, Drury-Lane, will be performed The Lying Valet, and that Mr. Steevens, at the particular desire of some persons of quality, is to act the part of Justice Guttle; in which character he will devour twelve pounds of plumb cake at three mouthfuls."
DOUBLE DEALING.
Commercial morality is an unaccountable kind of thing. In the report of a recent trial for the robbery of a watch, it is stated that
"Mr. Beauchamp identified the watch. He was sure that it was not sold; he knew that circumstance from his books; and also because he had the watch for four years, not being able to recommend it; he would not have shown it to a lady, but he would have been glad to have sold it to a gentleman. There was a private mark put on it which meant nine guineas."
There is honour, it is said, among thieves. Is there gallantry in imposition?
EIKON BASILIKE.
Epigram on the publication by Dr. Wordsworth, master of Trinity College, Cambridge, of his inquiry, "Who wrote Eikon Basilike?" published by Rivington. (A parody.)
Who wrote "Who wrote Eikon Basilike?" I, says the master of trinity,— I am a doctor o' divinity, And I wrote "Who wrote Eikon Basilike?"
TIME.
Sir William Jones, so well known for his great acquisitions in oriental literature, was no less remarkable for his piety.—A friend reciting Sir Edward Coke's couplet of
"Six hours to sleep, in law's grave study six, Four spend in prayer, the rest on nature fix,"
he subjoined, rather say,
Seven hours to law, to soothing slumber seven, Ten to the world allot, and all to Heav'n.
RIVAL SINGERS.
Dr. Arne was once asked by two vocalists of Covent Garden theatre, to decide which of them sung the best. The day being appointed, both parties exerted themselves to the utmost, and when they had finished, the Dr. addressing the first, said, "As for you, sir, you are the worst singer I ever heard in my life." "Ah! ah! (said the other, exulting,) I knew I should win my wager." "Stop sir," (says the Dr.) "I have a word to say to you before you go;—as for you, sir, you cannot sing at all."
HOW TO EVADE PROOF.
An Irishman, charg'd with a crime, Was told it would be brought home to him: "No, no," quoth Pat, "it sha'nt this time— I'll keep away from home—and do 'em."
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