CHRISTINE TERHUNE HERRICK (continued 3)
Reading edition
"In the Duke's letter dated Dec. 11th, he writes; 'I have been very much concerned to hear that you are unwell. You must take care of yourself and keep yourself very warm in this bad weather.'
"The Duke's next letter is dated Dec. 14th wherein he writes—'I returned to London last night having been detained at Windsor Castle till late in the afternoon and I went there on Thursday and received your Note dated the 13th, for which I am much obliged.'
"The Duke's next letter is dated Dec. 20th wherein he writes—'I am very sorry, but my time is so much occupied, and while the Almighty will deign to permit me to live will be so occupied as that I shall not have leisure to pay visits. I have frequently expressed my regret that it should be so and repeat them now.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Dec. 21st, he writes; 'I am very sensible of the kindness of your letter of yesterday afternoon which I received last night.
"'I am, thank God! in perfect good health but have had the misfortune of losing my Sister. But I trust that by the Mercy of God! She is Happy.' [Endnote 7]
"The Duke's next letter is dated Dec. 24th, wherein he writes—'I have received several letters from you after my return to Town after paying the last Respects to the Memory of my poor Sister—I return you my thanks for them all and am very sensible of your kindness in writing to me.'
"In a letter from the Duke dated Dec. 26th, he writes—'I am sorry to learn that you have caught cold and are suffering from sore throat. I hope that you will take care of yourself and avoid to expose yourself to cold in this severe weather. I am very sensible of your kindness in writing to me as you have; I hope that I feel as I ought upon the occasion of the recent described affliction which I have suffered.'
"1845.—The first letter from the Duke, of this year, is dated Jan. 3rd, wherein he writes; 'I am very much obliged to you my dear Miss J. for several letters received from you in these last days; and regret that I was so much occupied when I received each of them as to be unable to acknowledge its receipt by return of Post. I am very sensible of your kindness in writing to me.'
"The next letter from the Duke is dated Jan. 13th wherein he writes—
"When I wrote to you last My dear Miss J. I omitted to thank you for one letter which I had received from you. The one to which I refer was dated the 23rd Inst., the day on which I attended the funeral of my poor Sister. I was in London for three days but my time was so much occupied that I could not even write to you, much less fix a time at which I could be able to pay you a visit.'
"In the next letter from the Duke dated Strathfieldsaye, Jan. 17th, he writes; 'You have been correctly informed; Her Majesty the Queen does intend to pay me a visit here on Monday the 20th and to remain till Thursday the 23rd.' [Endnote 8]
"In the next letter from the Duke, dated Jan. 23rd, he writes—'I am much obliged to you my dear Miss J. for all your letters dated the 18th, 19th, 20th and 21st which I have received regularly in due course. I wish that it were in my power to peruse them when I receive them—still more to acknowledge the receipt of them regularly. But that is impossible. My time is so much occupied that I have scarcely sufficient for Rest. However my Health continues excellent and my strength unimpaired.' The next letter from the Duke is dated Feb. 7th 1845, wherein he writes; 'I have received many letters from you, dated the 20th, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, 26th and Feb. 2nd, which I have not expressed the sense of gratitude I felt for your kindness in writing them. But in truth I have been so much occupied, not alone by my public business but by the afflicting sickness of one of my Family; one of whom,—My Niece, we have lost; and another, my brother, is still very unwell that I have really scarcely had time to turn about. However I thank God! my brother is stronger and better and I hope that he will be able to bear the remedies which must be administered to him.'
"In the Duke's next letter he writes, dating it Feb. 8th—'I fear that there was one letter which I did not acknowledge in my note of yesterday—that of the 3rd Inst. But I must say that my time and attention are so much taken up from morning till I go to bed at night that it is not surprising that I should pass over a letter in acknowledging the receipt of others, however kind and interesting, its contents. I have really more to do than I can find time for, notwithstanding my constant attention and diligence.'
"In the poor Duke's next letter he writes—dating it Feb. 25th; 'My omission to write to you etc—is to be attributed to my constant occupation in the Public service and since My return to Town in these latter days, since the Queen paid me a visit, by the continued illness of my poor brother; and by my attendance upon Him, his wife and afflicted family. I was very sensible of your kind offer of Assistance—But he had everything. We lost him, Alas! on Saturday night, I am happy to say without pain or suffering. [Endnote 9] His last moments were those of a good Christian in peace with all the world and I trust, in the Mercy of the Almighty, in favor with Him! You are very kind and I am very sensible of your kindness in offering me consolation and in urging me to call upon you and I will do so as soon as it will be in my power and will write to apprize you of the Time.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated March the 1st, he writes—'It is true I have been greatly afflicted. But by the Mercy of God My poor Brother suffered but little in his last Moments. Indeed I may say—no pain, from the disorder by which he had been afflicted and his mind was at ease and full of confidence in the Mercy of the Almighty.'
"In the Duke's next letter dated March 6th he writes—'I am concerned to learn that you are not well.'
"In the Duke's next letter he, after dating it March 15th, 1845, reports how occupied he is, adding; 'I regret exceedingly to learn that you are still unwell. But hope that we shall have moderate weather usual at this season, which will soon recruit your health.'"
London, April 18th, 1845.
My dear Miss J.,—I will give you an answer to your Note of the 17th just now received because my attention has just now been drawn to two paragraphs in the Morning Post, stating that I was taken ill in the House of Lords last night. I was last night and am at this moment thank God! as well as I ever was.
The truth is this. A Noble Lord, well known to be blind was standing on the floor near the place where I was sitting. I arose, gave him the assistance of my Arm and conducted him towards the door till I met another person who took charge of him.
That is the whole Story!
I returned to my place where I sat and took part in the discussion going on till the House adjourned.
A man called at my door to enquire how I was at eleven, not at twelve o'clock. The answer was. He is quite well, not, He is convalescent.
Ever Yours most faithfully,
Wellington.
"The next letter from the Duke is dated April 21st, 1845, in which he replies to an enquiry I had made in a former Note or letter as follows; 'You did not see me in Piccadilly on Saturday the 19th. I was not in the Street on that day except to cross it on Horseback from my own House to the Park.'
"The Duke's next letter is dated May 8th wherein he writes; 'I have received and thank you for all your letters; the truth is that it takes me a long time to peruse them and I am obliged to do so by daylight, which I have not at command of sufficient duration to finish the whole that I have to read at one time.'
"In the Duke's next letter dated May 28th he writes—'The truth is that nobody can tell the amount of business which I have to transact who should not be a witness of my constant and unremitting exertions, and the degree in which my time is occupied. Thank God that I have health to perform all that is required.'
"Again in the Duke's letter dated May 30th he writes—'The truth is that my occupation in the service of the Public is incessant from one week's end to the other. It is not given to Man to be in two places at the same time and I have scarcely time for Rest—none for recreation or amusement even social.'
"In the Duke's next letter dated June 5th he writes 'My time is really so much employed as to have none for either repose or meals. We are now at the 5th of June. I have dined but twice since the 29th of May, although in perfect Health. I have scarcely time for Repose as you will see when I tell you that I returned home this morning only at half past four.'
"I knew that the Duke could find time to go to parties, etc, etc, therefore I considered such letters as mine ought not to be laid aside in silence, more especially as he was continually implying he meant to call upon me, but never did, so thus keeping my mind in suspense and expectation. This doubtless The Lord of lords in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to gratify, knowing far better what is good for us than we do for ourselves. Otherwise HE could and would have compelled him to come to me daily, whatever his occupations may have been.
"The Duke's next letter is dated June 7th, wherein he writes—'Besides being very good, you must admit that patience under disappointment is required from us all. That is all I ask from you.'
"Which I suppose sprang from my expressing disappointment at not seeing the Duke, little imagining that the Lord of lords had decreed he should never call again, knowing far better what is good for us than we do for ourselves. O that His Holy Name may be magnified throughout for His blessed Holy Name's Sake!
"In the Duke's next letter he writes at its conclusion, having dated it June 16th 1845 'I am quite well, thank God! notwithstanding the constant fatigue which I endure.'
"The next letter in due course from the Duke is dated June 27th, 1845, wherein he writes—'I am very sensible of your kindness in writing. I am anxious that you should recollect that if I omit to acknowledge the receipt of, and to thank you for the receipt of your letters regularly it is because I really have not leisure time. I assure you that since last Sunday I have dined only once, and that was on Wednesday. I thank God that I preserve my health and strength; and am really as strong as I was twenty-two years ago, but have not leisure time for social occupations of any description.'
"In the next letter from the Duke, dated July 14th, he writes; 'I have received from you letters of the 9th and 13th Inst. since I wrote last, for which I return my best thanks. I hope that the rainy weather will not prevent you from receiving the benefit which you expected to derive from your residence near the Sea.' Again the Duke writes in his next letter, dated July 17th; 'The weather still continues unpleasant but I hope that your residence by the Sea will be beneficial.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated July 23rd, he writes—'I have received several letters from you lately, for which I return my grateful thanks. I only regret that I have not leisure to answer them punctually. I have not been able to dine for the last two days but I am quite well, thank God!'
"The next letter from the Duke is dated July the 26th, wherein he writes—'I return thanks for all your letters; I am very sensible of your kindness in writing to me and I am very happy to find that you think of returning to London.'
"The next letter from the Duke, dated Aug. 12th, refers to letters being rightly stamped, adding—'Your remedy is very simple—take care not to send a letter that is overweight. If you write one that is upon so much paper as that one Stamp will not be sufficient, put half the paper in one cover and half in the second or put two or three stamps on the same cover. I have likewise received back some letters written to you, notwithstanding that I invariably myself direct and stamp the letters addressed to you. I am really ashamed of giving you so much trouble.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 13th, he writes—'It is true that my public duties render it necessary for me to move to a distant part of the Country—I cannot complain. But it is the fact, that at a period of life at which other Men are seeking Repose, every moment of my time should be as it is, occupied by National duties which require my constant attendance and all my attention, and render me unfit for social duties and incapable of performing them.'
"In the next letter of the Duke's, dated Aug. 14th, he writes 'I write only one line to acknowledge the receipt of and thank you for your letter of the 13th which reached me last night. I am really very much concerned that my public duties and the attention which I am under the necessity of paying to their performance render me unfit for social life. I really have not leisure time for visits, scarcely to write. I am under the necessity of going out of Town this afternoon.'
"In his next letter, dated Aug. 19th, the Duke writes—'I perceive again that I must be very cautious to cross my t's and put dots to my i's and not omit an expression which I may ever have used or to make use of one which may be unusual lest I should again give offence.'
"Judging by the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 23rd, I had begun to fear I should never see the Duke again, for he writes—'It has often occurred to me that you do not read my letters and that at all Events you pay but little attention to their Contents—If you had perused these letters and had believed what I wrote, you could not have asked this question. However I answer it—I do intend to go to see you whenever I can find time; that is, when my occupations in the Service of the Public will give me leisure for the performance of any Social duty or the pursuit of any relaxation, amusement or pleasure.'
"The Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 29th, conveys an impression that I had felt hurt at something written, as he writes 'I did not think it possible that I should ever write one word that could hurt your feelings and I sincerely beg your pardon.' The next letter from the Duke is dated Oct. 9th, 1845, wherein he thanks me for my letters and adds 'I am much obliged about your enquiries about my Health. I am quite well thank God! though much fatigued by hard work.'
"The next and the last letter of this year from the Duke is dated Dec. 3rd, wherein he writes; 'I assure you that I am very sensible of your continued kindness. I have not written to acknowledge the receipt of your letters and to thank you for them, as I really have not had time, having been so much occupied in the public Service. When I write to you I am sensible that I must not omit a word or a letter. The feeling that such omission will give you offence is alone an impediment, therefore I hope that you will excuse me.'"
CHAPTER IX.
MISUNDERSTANDINGS.
The correspondence for 1846 begins smoothly, with no warning of the storm that was to burst before the year was out. From the Duke's first letter, it is evident that Miss J. had continued her epistles steadily, undeterred by the tartness of the Duke's last note, of December 3d. His first billet of the New Year is friendly in tone, while the brusqueness of the second quoted is explained by her comment thereupon. From the knowledge gained of her through her letters one can imagine what must have been the pious querulousness of her "remark."
"1846.—The first letter from the Duke in this year is dated Jan. 7th, wherein he writes—'I have received your letter of the 4th Inst., having before received many for which I really have not had the time to enable me to write and thank you as I ought to have done, as my sincere and heartfelt acknowledgments are due to you for your continued kindness towards me.'
"I presume judging by the Duke's next letter that I had made some remark concerning his silence, as he writes therein dating it Jan. 14th—'I have scarcely time for rest or meals. You must excuse me! I cannot do it! Surely patience is a Christian virtue enjoined to us by the precepts as well as by the example of our Saviour.'"
Biographers of the Duke mention his power of going for hours without food, and then atoning for his abstinence by a hearty meal. His usual daily routine was to rise at seven, and go out of doors at once, returning to breakfast at nine. He ate no lunch, and dined at seven. When much pressed with work, he was accustomed to have his dinner served on a small round oaken table in the library, where he ate alone, surrounded by his papers. His correspondence was enormous, owing to his practice of answering all his letters himself. He occasionally availed himself of a lithographed form in reply to some correspondents, and also sometimes adopted a sharpness of tone in answering irrelevant communications, in the hope that he might thus hinder their authors from writing again. As a rule, however, a courteous letter was apt to receive a courteous reply. The narrowness of Miss J.'s mental horizon is nowhere more strikingly shown than by her inability to comprehend the whirl of business that must have made life, to a man of the Duke of Wellington's conscientiousness, a ceaseless round of fatiguing labor.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Feb. 4th, he writes—'I have received many letters from you and I am really ashamed of being under the necessity of repeating over again what I have stated so repeatedly, that I have not leisure time to acknowledge the receipt of and thank you for each of your letters when it reaches me.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated March 13th, he writes—'I don't know whether you ever read the letters which I write to you. I doubt it, because I cannot make out how it happens that you do not notice or believe what I tell you in every one that I write, namely, that my time is so much occupied that I have scarcely time for the rest which is necessary.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated March 20th, he writes—'I have received all your letters, the last this day, dated Wednesday, March 18th. I should have answered the two earlier ones at the time I received them if I had had one moment's leisure.'"
Strathfieldsaye, April 17, 1846.
My dear Miss J.—I have just now received your Note of the 15th and I am very sorry to observe that I have again offended you by quitting London without going to pay you a visit; and because I have not acknowledged the receipt of some late letters received from you.
I wish I could induce you to believe that the disposal of my time does not depend upon myself; whether to pay visits or to write.
I have received all your letters, but have not written answers to them; or to thank you for them; because I really have not had Time.
I am obliged to you for having informed me that you intend to quit your Residence on Saturday that is to-morrow.
If you will let me know where you will reside in future I will go to pay you a visit if I should have one Moment of Leisure.
I don't recollect to have sent my Servant with a letter to Mr. L.
If he took one there, I conclude it was because when I gave it to put into the Post, the Hour was passed at which it would be received at the Post Office and he took it to the Gentleman to whom it was directed.
But this is mere Conjecture. I know nothing about the matter.
Ever, My Dear Miss J. Yours most faithfully,
Wellington.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated May 30th, he writes—'I am not surprised at your vexation in neither receiving an acknowledgment of the receipt of your letters nor a visit from me. But I have always considered Patience an eminently Christian virtue—I assure you again that my time is so much occupied! I have dined but once since last Sunday! These are well known facts!—I returned home to rest at five o'clock yesterday morning on Horseback! I was employed all day yesterday after that Repose and did not return till two in the morning!'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated June 24th, he writes, after thanking me for my 'continued kindness;'—'I had before received several letters from you, for all of which and your continued kindness I return you my thanks. In respect to your question whether it is probable that I can go to see you before the 1st of July I answer that I will if it should be in my power but I cannot be certain or now fix the time. Till this night I have not dined since last Sunday and I doubt whether I shall again till next Sunday. I have scarcely time for Rest—None for Meals and as you may suppose none for visits. However I will go to see you if it should be in my power and will write to give you Notice.'
"I think if the Duke were to return to the world he would consider no duties before those connected with communion with me, who was so solicitous to strengthen him in every good word and work. But it was not to be! Therefore however much I may and did suffer, such I trust will be permitted to rank among the 'All things that are to work together for Good to them that love God, to them that are the called according to His purpose,' and since there never was a moment when the Duke did not sink into the utmost insignificance in comparison with His good will and pleasure, such must necessarily follow.
"The poor Duke's next letter, dated July 13th I will copy throughout as it refers to his affliction—in the loss of his Grand Son." [Endnote 10]
This letter is interesting as giving a glimpse of that softer side of the Duke's nature, generally lost sight of in contemplation of his sterner characteristics.
London, July 13, 1846.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received your letters of the 12th and Friday last on the subject of the loss I recently sustained of my Grandson, the eldest Son of my second son. Poor boy! he died on Tuesday! By the Mercy of God! the second son, an infant has recovered. But at one time I was apprehensive that the grief of the Mother who was nursing the youngest child would have affected Her Health; and that we should have lost that Child; and eventually the Mother. But thank God! Both are now safe! I am very sensible of your kindness upon this occasion. I wish that it was in my power to tell you that I have any prospect of being able to go to see you! But I cannot expect to be able to do so at present! Believe me, My Dear Miss J. Ever Yours
Most faithfully,
Wellington.
"The Duke's next letter, dated July 23rd, 1846, is expressive of concern at my having caught cold, adding; 'I am very sorry still to be unable to fix a time at which I can go to see you.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 13th, he writes—'I have to express my acknowledgments for several letters which I have received from you since you left London and I am very happy to learn that you like your situation there. I am still very much occupied by my duties in London but hope the Parliament will soon be prorogued and that I may be enabled to quit London and move to other parts of the Country where my presence is required;' and in the Duke's next, dated Aug. 17th, he writes; 'My duties will require my removal at a distance from London for at least two months or more.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 25th, he writes; 'I am under the necessity of going out of Town early tomorrow.'"
Sept. 1st, 1846.
I am concerned to find that my silence is considered unkind and that this unkindness is aggravated by my having travelled up from Portsmouth on Sunday! It is true! I did so. I was sorry for it. But my services to the Public rendered necessary my being in London early Monday morning which I could not have performed if I had not travelled on Sunday. However you shall not again have reason to complain of disappointment. I announce to you that I will write no more. If you could have attended to anything so trifling as what you might read in the Newspapers about Me! You might have seen that in the last week I was occupied at a distance from London during five days out of the seven and that in that space of time I have travelled and rode little short of 800 miles.
Indorsed by Miss J. "Who is he that saith and it cometh to pass when THE Lord commandeth it not?"
And now came the storm, springing from a misunderstanding pitifully out of proportion to the furore it excited! Miss J. and her friend Mrs. L. had engaged a cottage, and were about to move into it. Miss J. wrote to her guardian, desiring him to advance her funds for the furniture of her new abode. A day or so later, in writing to the Duke, Miss J. told him of the transaction, in her usual involved style, and asked his opinion of the matter. The rest of the note was, as usual, filled with incoherent reproaches for his lack of promptness in writing. The unfortunate Duke probably perused the letter hastily, and comprehended nothing but that Miss J. found fault with him about something, and that she wished a loan from somebody. His patience had been worn threadbare by much carping and criticism, and he answered her letter in that given below. The whole affair is so absurd, as sketched in Miss J.'s Diary, that the account is given in her own words, only omitting a few of the superfluous and irrelevant quotations from Scripture.
London, Sept. 23, 1846.
In order to prevent Irritation; and to avoid the receipt of repeated Letters expressing the same; I determined that I would inform Miss J. that I would write no more.
I had before repeatedly assured her, that I could not answer Her Letters regularly; but nothing would do, She continued to be angry and to complain with bitterness.
I have therefore been under the necessity of announcing that she is not to expect to hear from me! She has now mentioned to me that she had written to me to desire that I would assist Her with a Loan of Money. I have not received the Letter containing that Desire.
But I answer at once; that I will give her any reasonable assistance she can require from me; when she will let me know in clear distinct Terms what is the Sum she requires.
But I announce again; that I never will write upon any other Subject.
Wellington.
"Friday, September 26th, 1846. O my God, Wherefore hast Thou thought proper to let Satan try and distress me in this unanticipated manner?
"I did not ask Thee to bestow the Duke upon me! I did not think of ever writing to him until Thou madest me do so! and therefore I marvel at his being allowed to torture me first in one way and then in another for the last twelve years of my life, and above all by what he has now so insultingly done in pretending to think that I have written to him for a Loan, which Thou knowest, for Thy honor and glory I would not do under existing circumstances, for a thousand worlds! And I bless Thee for influencing me to Copy the letter addressed to my Guardian, word for word in my Diary, commencing my letter to the Duke as follows:
"'Having just written to my Guardian requesting him to oblige me with a Loan to purchase the furniture required for my Cottage I resume my pen, My dearest Duke to acquaint you thereof feeling still influenced to let you know how things are going forward respecting it. Which Loan he will be at liberty to deduct out of my Dividends being by no means large as I propose furnishing it so simply, being all that is necessary living in such retirement as we shall always do,' etc.
"At which, the more I look, the more unlikely it would appear that the Duke would understand it in any light that would for a moment lead him to suppose I could so far forget myself or the honour I have for His great name Which is above every name as to bow down thus, God having declared, 'It is abomination for the righteous to bow down before the wicked.' Consequently my indignation at his insulting letter led at once to my treating it as it deserves, telling him that nothing upon earth could have astonished me more than such insult, conveying an idea that I had purposed condescending receiving any Loan from his hands, which I would rather starve than do! and so I would! Yes, I would if I had no other means of subsistence die with starvation sooner than ask any favor of that kind from him! knowing as I do that Christ's Great Holy Name would be so dishonored thereby. Consequently, since it would be for His Holy Name sake, as well as knowing what was due to my high calling in Him, starvation would be comparatively sweet! rejoicing in being considered worthy, whilst so unworthy, so utterly unworthy of suffering for His Great Holy Name sake. I have called upon the Duke to apologize to me as the unwarrantable insult offered to me demands. Having given this over with himself into God's Hands to undertake the whole cause for me in whatever way is most for His own honor and glory, He will doubtlessly make him do as HE pleases,—and if not, HE will deliver me, I hope from him for ever. After such a letter as this, displaying more of his character than I have ever yet seen, I have too much contempt for him to desire any further communication with him, despising him accordingly.—
"Having given a little vent to my feelings by writing the above, I will now attempt to describe the circumstances concerning this insulting letter.
"The first thing on awaking I was influenced to get up however unwell, in case a letter by the earliest Post should arrive from the Duke, little imagining what was in store for me, when God thought proper to attract my attention to so remarkable a Scripture, namely. 'The preparation of the heart in man and the answer of the tongue is from the Lord.' HE permitted me sensibly to feel His 'strength made perfect in weakness,' otherwise I should have sunk under the blow! But as his letter was put into my hands, such an upholding power was exercised over me that however astonished at its contents and indignant thereat, The Lord was with me....
"I lost no time in answering the Duke as he deserved, my heart glowing with all the holy indignation such an insulting offer so coarsely conveyed was calculated to call forth. I then hurried off to Mrs. L. with that and the one just before received, which she viewed in like manner, considering it disgraceful treatment in his daring to write to me thus. She only waits his reply to mine (which I read to her and on my return home enclosed and forwarded, hastening off myself to a Post Office for that purpose) and the Lord's influence in order to take up her powerful pen and address him as his offered insult deserves.
"On my return from the Post Office I opened my loved Bible at the words; 'The wicked fleeth when no man pursueth, but the righteous are bold as a lion,' encouraging me to think increasingly that my bold indignant fearless reply to the Duke was justified."
Then follow other "Scriptures," all applied to her credit and the Duke's disadvantage, and a prayer in which she beseeches the Almighty to "take this man into Thy Hands and compel him to do me the justice I deserve."
A tempest in a teapot! That the Commander-in-chief of the British armies, the greatest soldier of his age, should have been subjected to the attacks of a peevish woman's tongue, is ridiculous; but there is a pitiable side to the affair as well. One cannot help feeling compassion for the poor old man,—seventy-seven years of age now,—even while one laughs at the absurdity of the situation. Miss J., as usual, could not let matters rest, but prepared for another attack. Her Diary describes her sensations of suspense as she awaited a reply from the Duke, and "the Scriptures" with which she fortified her position. On Sunday she writes:—
"I have written another indignant letter to the Duke, in which I purpose enclosing his hair and picture, which last being made of sealing wax is of course of no value. These being the only things ever received or required by me, I am solicitous to relieve myself from the burthen they necessarily become under present circumstances. Consequently, after considering or reflecting that it may perhaps be more for the honor and glory of God to return them in silence, I have enclosed them in two blank covers, waiting now only to ascertain their weight in order that they may be stamped accordingly and reach him in safety."
It may be stated that even after receiving the Duke's letter of apology Miss J. remained firm in her intention to return these gifts of the Duke's. Mrs. L., however, who was constantly taking the part of a deus ex machina in Miss J.'s affairs, succeeded in persuading her to keep both the hair and the picture.
The fiercely demanded apology arrived on Monday. Miss J. writes:—
"I have to thank my good and gracious God for his indulgent kindness in sending me not only a letter from my Guardian with Enclosures, but also one from the Duke, apologizing fully."
Sept. 27, 1846.
I am very much concerned to find by a letter which I received this Morning from Miss J., that I was so unfortunate as to have read incorrectly or to have misunderstood Her letter!
It appears that it was from Her Guardian and not from me that she intended to borrow money! I confess that it frequently happens to me to be unable to make out Miss J.'s handwriting! and I sometimes do not exactly comprehend what it appears to me that she intended to write! This is to be attributed to the Celerity with which she writes!
I beg leave to apologize for my mistake and above all for thinking it possible that she might want to borrow money from me! I beg her forgiveness for this Error!
Miss J.'s Most faithful
Humble Servant
Wellington.
P.S. I will never offend again in any manner.
Miss J. delayed acknowledging the Duke's reply for several days, but finally sent off the following epistle, which she no doubt regarded as a model of Christian forgiveness.
Oct. 3rd, 1846.
My Lord Duke,—I am grieved to say that it has taken a much longer period to subdue my indignation than as a Christian I could wish: consequently as I am incapable of dissimulation I have been reluctant to resume my pen since the day on which I received your merited apology, when I hastily answered it. But that reply was not permitted to be forwarded, therefore I sealed it up with the articles intended to accompany it until I could further learn what God would have me do, nor is it until this moment that He has given me even a capability of addressing you again!
Yet as life is uncertain with all! it would, I doubt not, eventually have grieved me if anything had happened in the interim to rob me of the power of granting your request respecting my forgiveness. This I now do and sincerely hope God will forgive also! and far more perfectly and freely than I alas! as a Creature am enabled to do! HE condescendingly assures them Who offend Him yet seek forgiveness ... that their sins and iniquities are remembered "no more."...
That you, My Lord Duke, may experimentally feel this, not only as regards this offence to one hitherto so devotedly bestowed upon you by Himself,—but any and every other transgression that can ever become an impediment to your eternal happiness is the earnest wish of
His devoted Child and Servant
A. J.
Should it be the will of God to allow this to call forth a reply, it becomes my duty to add that I am still in the same lodging, my Cottage not yet being ready for our reception, nor will it be until Thursday the 8th Inst. if so soon,—having required more time than anticipated for our entrance which I hope will be blessed.
P.S. The idea, My Lord Duke, that there may come a moment when any spiritual consolation on my part may be sought for by you, induces me to place it in your power in that case to obtain such by adding that the address with which you are so familiar will always find me or my Guardian as follows.... Having said this, I hope that I have now done all that God requires from me, leaving it with Him accordingly.
Apparently the Duke did not feel the need of any spiritual consolation from Miss J., for she did not hear from him again for two months. Even then he only wrote because of her request that he would return a letter she had sent him, announcing the death of her guardian.
Dec. 15th, 1846.
Field Marshal the Duke of Wellington presents his Compliments to Miss J. He assures her that whenever she has expressed a Desire to have back a paper enclosed to Him, he has invariably complied with her desire immediately on his having perused it. Letters addressed by the Duke to Miss J. have been returned to him: and he has invariably thrown them into the fire, and possibly the enclosed Letter!
CHAPTER X.
A BREATHING SPACE.
The first letter from the Duke for 1847 was not written until the year was nearly two months old.
London, Feb. 22, 1847.
Field Marshal the Duke of Wellington presents His Compliments to Miss J.; and acknowledges the receipt of two letters from her one on Saturday last; the other of the 21st Inst this morning.
He writes only for this purpose! He declines to anything [sic] further to Miss J. Being convinced that as usual any correspondence will end in his giving Her Offence, However much he may desire and endeavour to please her.
"I remarked to him in reply to this style of addressing me that I cared no more for his Field Marshalship than his Generalship,—which I dare say amused him. He was well aware of this, knowing it is written, 'If any man will be a pleaser of man then is he not the servant of Christ,' consequently however solicitous to render 'honour to whom honour,' my chief concern then as now consisted in obedience to this Divine enquiry, 'Lord, what wilt Thou have me to do?' delighting in the same accordingly."
London, May 6, 1847.
My dear Miss J.,—I am very much obliged to you for the kind letter which I have this morning received without date! upon the subject of the Misfortune by which I have lately been afflicted in the loss of my Brother! [Endnote 11]
I am very sensible of your kindness in writing to me; for the consolation upon which you suggest my reflection and for your enquiry about my health! I thank you! I am by the Mercy of the Almighty quite well!
Believe me Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
This letter is, as Miss J. states in her Diary, "clad in deep mourning," or in other words, with a black seal, and written on black-edged paper.
"The Duke's next letter is dated May 11th, in which he writes—'I am very much obliged to you for your letter of the 9th. I answered the last which you wrote to me on the day I received it.'
"Having had an objection to the Notice which the Duke's letters, seal, etc., attracted I was in the habit generally of receiving them through my friend Mrs. L.'s hands however aware that the Duke preferred addressing me at my own residence which the following paragraph from his letter dated May 14th implies."
London, May 14, 1847.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received your Letter dated Wednesday night.
I have directed all my Letters lately and covers to Mrs. L. excepting one to —— and will direct this under cover to the same Gentleman.
You feel an anxiety respecting my Welfare and write to me accordingly! for which I entertain a grateful Sense: and I am in the habit of returning My thanks; which Letters you are anxious to receive.
This is all very right and proper; and there can be no reason for which you should not send your Letters to me; and for which I should not send you answers directed to yourself at your own Residence!
But you desire that my Letters should be sealed with my own Seal! which having a Coronet; and other usual Marks of Distinction, occasion some observation in your Lodgings and your Neighborhood! which you do not much like! You therefore desire that the letters addressed to you by me should be sent to one of your friends.
Your friends know nothing about me! and do not like to receive Letters for you from an unknown Person! Of this I am quite assured and to tell you the truth I don't like to send a letter addressed to you to one of your friends, unless I should be able to cut off part of your Letter directing me to do so, the name of that friend in your hand writing!
I therefore tell you that I will not write to you unless I am enabled to direct to yourself at your own Residence; or I should have in your hand writing the name and address of your friend, which I can include with your Letter.
I will not be guilty of the unpardonable act of writing a letter to a Lady or Gentleman addressed to another; without showing that I have Authority for so doing!
Believe me Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
London, May 19th, 1847.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received your Letter of the 17th. I have already acknowledged all that I had received from you! at least I believe so!
But you write at great length; with much celerity, in light colored Ink, and much time is required to read one of your Letters! However I am sensible of your Motives for and your kindness in writing them!
I peruse them with attention as soon as I can! and I answer them when in my power.
Believe me Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 3rd, he writes; 'I have received several letters from you the dates of which you will find at the bottom of this. I am very sensible of and grateful for the interest that you feel and express in my welfare.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 14th, he writes—'I am much obliged to you for your letters my dear Miss J., particularly for the last of Thursday afternoon in which you inform me that you are better which I am rejoiced to hear. I trust that you will keep yourself quiet and follow the advice of your Medical Attendant.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Aug. 21st, he writes; 'I write to thank you for your letters and to express my congratulations upon the improvement of your Health, which I trust in God will soon be restored entirely.'
"The Duke's next letter is dated Sept. 9th wherein he writes; 'I am very much concerned to learn that you are again indisposed, but as you tell me that the Medical gentleman who attends you thought well of you I hope that this relapse is only accidental.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Sept. 11th, he writes—'Since I last wrote to you I have received your letters of the 8th & 9th and I am much concerned that you are still unwell, suffering from cold. I hope that you will soon be quite well.' Again in the Duke's next letter he writes, dating it Sept. 22nd; 'I have been very much concerned to learn from the perusal of the several letters which I have received of different dates up to the 20th Inst. that you are still suffering from indisposition, although at times rather better. I trust you will avoid to tire yourself by writing. There is nothing like Rest for ailing remedies, and the bounty of Providence in a recovery from sickness.'
"In the Duke's next letter he again refers to my indisposition, for I had been dangerously ill at that time. It is dated Sept. 28th. 'I am very much concerned to hear that you continue to feel indisposed.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Oct. 2nd, he writes—'I hope that you will continue in good health. You will if you keep yourself warm in the severe weather of the Autumn and commencement of the winter—and in tranquillity.'
"In the Duke's next letter dated Oct. 7th he writes—'I have and thank you for your letters of the 2nd & 3rd, the last finished on the 4th, and I am happy that you are in your new dwelling which I hope you will find satisfactory to you, and above all that the Air will be salubrious.'
"Judging by the Duke's next, I think that he must have misunderstood my intentions, as he writes in his letter, dated Oct. 16th; 'I am concerned to learn that you are again about to change the place of your Abode. I should think that these constant changes must fatigue you.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Oct. 12th, which I now perceive ought to have been introduced above that of the 16th, he writes—'I am very much pleased that you are not otherwise than comfortable in your new residence.'
"I presume, judging by the Duke's next letter, dated Dec. 18th, that I had referred to my poor Jane's illness, as he writes; 'I am sorry to hear that your favorite companion disturbs your rest as rest is especially necessary after the recovery from any illness.'"
The correspondence had in 1848 dwindled down almost to nothingness, at least on the Duke's side. It is only doing Miss J. justice to believe that her zeal and industry continued unabated. There had apparently been no other dispute. Miss J. herself remarks upon the fact that during the entire year she received but three letters from the Duke.
"It may be seen judging by these letters, that there was not any other cause for the fewness of such but the full occupation of his time alluded to so frequently. Therefore I presume this was permitted by The Great Lord of Lords for unerring purposes known only to Himself.
"The first in this year is dated May 8th, wherein the Duke writes—'It is perfectly true that much time has elapsed since I have written to you and that I have received many letters from you for which I ought to have returned my thanks, but the demands upon and the employment of my time in the service of the Public has been so constant that I really have not had leisure. I hope that you are well and that the weather will re-establish your health entirely, and by enabling you to go out into the Air fortify against future attacks.'"
London, July 30, 1848.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received many Letters and this morning one of yesterday with copies of many others before written! I was and am sorry to learn that you are unwell. Your letters are extremely difficult to read, and my time is and has been much occupied by my Duties!
Believe me Dear Miss J. ever
Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
P.S. I have frequently entreated to write your Address, your place of Abode on each Letter. It is not possible for me to recollect every thing!
"In the next letter from the Duke, dated Dec. 24th, he writes; 'I am really much concerned that my time has been so much occupied lately and I have been so much in movement as that I have not been able to write to you.'"
1849.
London, Feb. 2, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I am really much concerned that the Newspapers should insert statements of my being sick, of which the Editors can know nothing. I thank God! I am & have been as well throughout the Winter as I have been in my Life.
Ever Yours Most Faithfully
Wellington.
London, Feb. 20, 1849, Morning.
It is very true My Dear Miss J. that some time has elapsed since I have been able to go to see you, and that I have omitted to write to you. The reason of this last mentioned omission is, that I could not go to see you or fix a time at which I could and as I had not heard from you, I thought it best not to write. I beg you observe likewise that I have been time [sic] at Windsor Castle; and also at my own House in Hants since I saw you.
I am very sorry; but my Time is so much occupied; and while the Almighty will Deign to permit me to live, will be so occupied; as that I shall not have leisure to pay visits. I have frequently expressed my regrets; that it shd be so; and repeat them now. I received a letter on Saturday night last; commenced that morning; and ended in the afternoon. I wrote an answer; and just as I was about to close it and send it off on Monday; I received the Report of the occurrence of a severe Family misfortune; which prevented the execution of my purpose.
I received a second note from you last night dated yesterday afternoon, and I am delighted to learn that your Eyes are better. I wish to thank you for these Letters. But I cannot hold out any prospect of being able to go to see you. I will not deceive you. I am employed every day at this time by Candle Light from six in the Morning till twelve at night! After all! God Almighty has so framed all His Creatures, that even that noble, Animal Man! requires refreshment food & Rest as well as others.
At my Age I feel that I require it: and I asked you not to press me to do that which I cannot do; without neglecting Duties which I have engaged to perform. I will go to see you; notwithstanding that I tell you fairly that nothing can be more disagreeable to me than to be followed by a Mob; as I invariably am; when I go to the part of the Town in which you reside.
But I don't care: I will go to see you when I find that I can do so; and I will give you previous notice as usual.
Ever My Dear Miss J.
Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
In spite of this sudden resumption of cordiality, Miss J. did not hear from the Duke again for over five months. But the letter then is kindly, bearing no trace of the harshness that marked his epistles written a couple of years earlier.
London, July 31, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I have been at Windsor Castle since Monday from whence I have only now returned. I have to acknowledge the receipt of several letters from you written with your usual kindness, of motive as well as of sentiment and expression.
I congratulate you upon your success upon Mrs. L.'s Nephew!
I hope that you may go to the Seaside during the period of the fine season. Whether you are to derive benefit from the air or Bathing; it will be more beneficial during fine weather than after or even during the Storm of the Equinox.
It is impossible for me to say at what period Parliament will be prorogued.
I thank you for the beautiful Lines which you have sent me.
One of your Letters was written on Sunday the 28th, another on Monday the 29th, and a third on Tuesday the 30th.
I hope that this may reach you this evening. But it is late, and I am afraid it may not.
Ever yours most faithfully
Wellington.
Walmer Castle, Sept. 7th, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I have this day received your letter dated Wednesday; as you did not know the day of the month. I am writing to you on Friday the 7th You ought to receive this on Saturday the 8thInst.
I had not heard of the Indisposition, still less of the death of your Guardian! But I have been for some time absent from London and it is possible that letters may have been missent. But they will reach me at last.
I sincerely condole with you upon the loss which you have sustained! I hope that this loss will not be an inconvenience to you in the management of your pecuniary affairs.
I am concerned to read in this same letter received this Morning the report of the illness of your friend Mrs. L.; and that of your young and protected companion Jane! and even that you had not yourself been well! I trust that the Almighty will restore them to Health as well as by His favor your Health may likewise be reestablished and secured.
I have been quite well! and am as strong and hearty as ever.
Believe me ever yours most faithfully
Wellington.
Miss J. appends a word of explanation to this letter:—
"The Lady here referred to by the Duke is older than myself, therefore the Duke is in that respect mistaken, never having seen her."
Walmer Castle, Sept. 13, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I received your Letter dated Saturday 8th and this morning that of the 11th in which you communicate to me the sad Intelligence of the loss which you had sustained in your friend Mrs. L.! I sincerely condole with you! She was a good and sincere friend of yours and I felt sincere respect and esteem for Her Character! You do not mention your young friend Jane; who was suffering also when you wrote before. I sincerely hope that she is better and progressing towards recovery as you could wish!
Believe me My Dear Miss J.
Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
"I presume by the Duke's next letter, dated Sept. 26th, that I made previous enquiries concerning some letters previously forwarded as he writes; 'I cannot now lay my hands on that letter but I must have received it. I think that you need not make yourself uneasy about any letter which you may address me.'"
The caustic tone common in the Duke's letters now reappears. Miss J.'s habit of enclosing to him letters she had written to others, with the request that he would read and return them, had long been a source of annoyance to him; and now his irritation breaks bonds.
Walmer Castle, October 22, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received this evening your Letter dated September 30th which was Sunday, Inclosing in a colored cover, two Letters addressed to Miss Coutts which I return in the same cover according to your desire without loss of time.
I have not received a book, and considering the uncertainty of receiving a letter from you; which you have only to direct, stamp; and put into the Box at the Post Office; which it is not certain that you can do with precision! I don't recommend you to endeavour to send me a Book. I am happy to learn that you will see your sister!
Believe me Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated Nov. 15th, he writes—'I have no recollection of having failed to write an answer to any letter of which you desired to receive an acknowledgment.
"'I receive thousands of letters, a vast proportion of which I am under the necessity of answering, and I am of course desirous of avoiding to write more than is necessary; particularly to a person so particular as you are in respect to the forms and contents of the letter addressed to you.'
"The Duke's next letter is evidently an angry one. It is dated Nov. 21st, wherein he writes—'I have received your letter of the 17th Inst. in which you have enclosed certain letters which you have written to Sir Robert Peel which I return! I am not the Post Man! nor the Secretary of Sir Robert Peel nor your Secretary!'"
Miss J. retained a copy of her answer to the last.
November 25th, 1849.
My Lord Duke,—Your unmerited angry letter astonished me inexpressibly, being a reply to one as kind and affectionate as my heart could dictate. Nor had I the most remote intention of taking the unwarrantable liberty of considering you in either of the characters you mention, but simply in that of a valued and beloved friend whose kind advice I was desirous to receive before taking a step which I had feared may otherwise vex you. This feeling my Letter to Your Grace plainly expressed, nor could I have believed after such affectionate disinterested devotedness to you for the last sixteen years such a simple confidential request would meet with the answer received. That letter, as is my custom in the time of perplexity, distress and trouble, I prayerfully spread before The Great "Lord of lords," beseeching Him to undertake for me, showing me how I ought to act under such circumstances, relying upon Him accordingly. Since then I made an attempt to address you not wishing you to remain ignorant of the safe arrival of those enclosures, but had I been given worlds I could not proceed. Consequently I laid aside my pen, fancying The Lord did not mean me to write at all. However, finding myself this morning thus influenced, I purpose, if HE permit forwarding what I write, promising should it be His good will and pleasure ever to allow me to intrude on Your Grace again, to procure such paper, etc., etc., as you require, apologizing for any apparent want of respect on such points, which, loving you as I have done, I did not consider was expected. But as "it is written," "Honour to whom honour," I shall sedulously avoid every repetition of the kind, such being the command of Him "with Whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning," "Who is the same yesterday, to-day and forever," consequently One I must ever love above all remaining to the latest moment of my existence,
His devoted Child and Servant
A. J.
This note did not call forth a reply of equal amiability from the Duke.
"I have felt no displeasure nor anger and was not even surprised by your letter complaining of my answer in which I returned the volumes of letters which you had sent for my perusal. Considering the Numberless occasions which you have quarrelled with me because of some omission of Seal or Signature or even of a word or a letter. I thank God that I am never angry with anybody; upon any subject.
"Many would think on reading the above that I had treated the Duke unkindly, but as I can appeal to Him Who seeth not as man seeth, I have nothing to fear from any erroneous impressions, having depended upon The Great Lord of lords throughout my acquaintance with him to direct and influence my heart and pen to fulfil all His good will and pleasure by working in me for that purpose, for His Holy Name sake! which I trust will be glorified and Magnified accordingly!"
The Duke's last letter for this year is not marked by increased suavity:—
Strathfieldsaye, Dec. 14, 1849.
My dear Miss J.,—I have nothing to add to what I stated in my former Letters regarding your sending me your Letters addressed to others!
I beg that you will not do so.
To read one letter from you is as much as I can do.
Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
Miss J. adds:—
"This in all probability was the case, as he advanced in years, consequently I never intruded any others upon him afterwards."
CHAPTER XI.
THE FINAL RUPTURE.
Early in 1850 Miss J. accidentally received a painful blow in the breast. A tumor soon developed, that caused her great suffering. Frequent references to her "affliction" are found in her Diary for this year and the next. She wrote an account of the occurrence to the Duke, and received the following reply, quoted from the Diary:—
"'I was much concerned on receiving this intelligence, but I hope that the consequences will not be so serious as I had apprehended. I hope that you will take care of yourself and not move at this severe season from your comfortable dwelling till you will be well.'
"Anyone would perhaps conclude by the Duke's remark that he had seen my house but as such was never the case I presume my description thereof had made this impression, alluding to it accordingly, for however much I may and did wish it to be honored with his presence, I found such was not apparently His will Who declares the Way of man is not in himself.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated March 18th, he refers to my dear Sister being with me as follows—'I am very sensible of this last circumstance and of the kindness and necessity of her attention to you during your illness.'
"A parcel from me having been left at the Duke's house he writes referring to the same."
Strathfieldsaye, April 3, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I received a letter from you yesterday evening; another this morning dated the 2nd Inst, both about a Parcel left at my House by your Sister!
I am very much concerned that the regulations which I have been under the necessity of making and enforcing in respect to the Reception of Parcels at my House should have been inconvenient to you or your sister.
But I have been under the necessity of ordering my Servants not to receive parcels; without previous orders from me! in order to prevent my private dwelling being made the Deposit of all the Trash that is written, invented, or in any manner made up! You find that I am frequently out of town. You wrote me that you would send a parcel but I received the notification only last night, and this morning one later; complaining that the Porter refused to take the Parcel. I am very sorry for any thing that can annoy you!
But I cannot prevent this now that my Duties and avocations call me to a distance from London! But I have not yet acquired the practice of being in two places at the same time: that is to say in London to receive your letters and Parcels or those of your sister; and in the Country, about my Duties and avocations.
If you will only reflect upon this! You will relieve yourself from great anxiety, and me from the vexation of annoying you.
Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
I will review the contents of the Parcel as soon as I shall return to London in some days hence.
London, April 5, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I returned to London this day and immediately enquired for the Parcel. I will peruse the Books which you have sent as soon as I shall have leisure.
Ever yours most faithfully
Wellington.
"This largest book was a book of my brother-in-law's on Prison discipline. What other books accompanied it I have forgotten.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated April 26th, he writes—'I anxiously hope that you will soon be quite well.' Again, in his next letter, dated April 29th, he writes—'I hope that this fine weather which may be expected at this season of the year will altogether reestablish your health.'
"By the Duke's next letter, dated May 21st, I must have referred to some thoughts of leaving England—as he writes—'I can understand your desire to avoid separating from your sister. I hope that you will let me know of your safe arrival in the United States and State your correct address in legible Hand writing if you should wish that I should write to you.'"
London, June 5, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I have this morning received your Note directed to me, in which you ask to know whether I had before received a letter to inform me that your Voyage to the United States had been set aside.
I had answered every letter I had received. I do not recollect to have received a letter containing this information!
I am very glad to learn that you had set aside this Intention.
Ever Yours most faithfully.
Wellington.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated June 15th, he writes 'I have just now received your letter of the 15th. As I receive thousands of letters in a week it is impossible for me to say whether I received one from you put into the Post Office Friday Week.'
"'I answer invariably, as I do this night at midnight, as soon as I receive your letter if due. I am much concerned but hope that you may recover entirely.'
"It is very evident that from this period Satan was permitted to work in the Duke's mind, weakening consequently the power I had been permitted to exercise, by rendering my communications tedious, for in his next letter, dated May 14th 1850 he writes, 'Knowing your extreme sensitiveness about letters, their contents, the manner in which signed, sealed and folded up, I have always been most cautious about any letters sent you! Indeed, such Caution is quite laborious!'"
London, July 4, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I am very sensible of your kindness in recollecting that I should feel exceedingly the loss of Sir Robert Peel!
I assure you that I write to you whenever there is occasion and that I can have a moment's leisure! But a person who does not see it can have no notion of the Numbers of letters which I receive at all times of the day and night. Every body who hears of this applies to me; the least that I can do is to read and take care of and return the required acknowledgment. I am not surprised that you should be disappointed and complain! But I really write when I can!
Your most faithful Servant,
Wellington.
"In the Duke's next letter, dated July 9th, he writes—'I am much concerned to learn by the perusal of your Note of the 8th that you are still suffering. I am very sorry to hear that you are likely to lose the society of your Sister.'
"In the Duke's next letter, dated July 12th, he writes—'I entreat you to write legibly and to avoid fatiguing yourself by writing too much.'
"Part of the Copy of a letter written to the Duke, July 8th, 1850, in reference to my dear Sister's leaving me.'
"'I dare not on this occasion indulge the hope of my dear Sister's continuation in England, she having this morning received a letter which renders it necessary that she should return home and I must pray to God to give me grace and strength to bear such a separation, Who alone can prevent my sinking under these various surrounding perplexities, for when she is gone I shall not have anyone but Himself to look to, with the exception of yourself to whom I have much to say if I could but consider it His Will that I should repose in you accordingly. O that HE may direct me and influence you to receive all I have to communicate in whatever way to His unerring Will prays yours devotedly.'"
The final quarrel was now approaching. The account of it is best given in Miss J.'s own words, omitting, as heretofore, a large proportion of the Biblical quotations.
"May The Lord enable me to proceed as HE would have me do for His great holy name sake! for when, or how, to commence a description of the circumstances in which I was placed with regard to pecuniary matters, I know not. However, having besought the Lord to aid me I will at once state that my own Income, limited at best, had become still more so through a fire which took place on the property mortgaged, rendering it so small that it was impossible to live upon it without further help added! Meanwhile, the landed property we had expected to possess appeared, through a Will drawn out at a later date to belong to the younger branches of our family, which was a dreadful disappointment to my beloved Sister. She had buoyed up her hopes that her portion thereof, united to mine would compensate for hopes which could now no longer be anticipated. This rendered her grief on my account additionally distressing, causing her to reason with and beseech me to spread the whole affair before the Duke. From the very thought of this I recoiled unutterably, thus inducing her to reproach me with a want of due affection and consideration for herself, as my death would be insupportable and must necessarily take place if she left me in England so situated. At length, considering as she had justly remarked that the Duke's abundant riches were bestowed upon him by God to do good with when in his power and that any aid afforded me could never be sufficiently great to admit of his feeling the loss thereof; also considering the gold and silver are The Lord's Who could consequently dispose of it accordingly, ... therefore it appeared a duty due to God and man to appeal to the Duke Who in God's sight may justifiably have been expected to become a father unto me under such circumstances. That, too, as above observed, without feeling the consequences thereof any more than the Ocean would miss a bubble that had appeared on its surface and then vanished forever.
"O that I could pass over this part of my life in silence! But such does not appear to me consistent with the will of God. Therefore I must proceed and prepare to introduce the letter first addressed to His Grace on this subject.
"July 11, 1850.
"After waiting all day yesterday, desirous to resume my pen, yet unable to do so through conflicting feelings, I deferred it until to day, hoping to make a commencement to the details and complete it by degrees as my strength may admit. First of all, I thank you for your prompt reply to my last, which becomes my encouragement for thus intruding upon you particulars to which nothing but the most absolute necessity could ever have reconciled me....
"I resume my pen after a brief interval to tell you that a remark made in one of your letters after my dear Mrs. L.'s death,—namely, 'I do not know your circumstances,' combined with the remembrance of your never to be forgotten kindness in once affectionately exclaiming 'My Child!'—unite in encouraging me to think that you have but to know them (the circumstances,) in order to take such into due consideration and act thereon accordingly. O that God may enable me to relate and you, My dearest Duke, to receive the relation in whatever way is most agreeable to His unerring will! And may any and every valued attention extended to me be regarded by Him in the light which is calculated to call down upon your precious head eventually the consequences springing from those blessed words. 'Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these My children, ye have done it unto ME.' 'Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord!'
"When I had arrived thus far I was too much affected to proceed and was relieved by a burst of tears,—for who among all your earthly friends will feel half so rejoiced at your being so distinguished by the Great 'Lord of Lords' as one who has loved you so disinterestedly and devotedly? But since my own feelings as well as your wishes require brevity I must proceed.
"At my beloved Mother's death, a Deed of Gift entitled me to a small Income which afterwards for my advantage was placed on a Mortgage by my Trustees, but which through a dreadful fire proved the reverse eventually, as I have found since my poor Guardian's death that the expenses or losses deriving therefrom were deducted from the principal of the Property. This leaves me, consequently, when again sold into the Funds, entitled to an Income quite inadequate to my support, although hoping that some landed Property would sell advantageously and become compensation for the same. My Sister felt most anxious that at such a time as this I should have every advantage, my life depending upon nourishment and support. She therefore wrote to make enquiries concerning the sale of the Property, when to our disappointment a letter arrived showing that neither my sister or self were entitled to any portion thereof, it having been at a later period made over to the younger branches of the family. Consequently all her fondest wishes to render me through such means all that aid which her affectionate heart could desire have been hereby frustrated, leaving her in the greatest distress of mind at the thought of being obliged to quit me thus situated, namely, with two wounds arising from the blow and another about to break. These occasion a drain on my constitution which threatens to take away all my strength, reducing my frame accordingly.
"The Medical Gentlemen impress upon my dear Sister the idea that I must die if I do not receive sufficient nourishment to supply the loss such occasion. These produce the most violent and continued perspirations, requiring the most strengthening things, namely, jellies, wines, soups, etc., etc., as they say it is a complete battle between the disease and the constitution. Which will conquer remains for Time to prove. Dr. P. further tells her that I may go on thus for three years and yet recover if great care is taken of me, as the lump since it has broken is considerably smaller. It is hoped that the linseed poultices will eventually draw it entirely away if my strength can only cope therewith. He also says that I ought to have a Nurse with me by night as well as by day, continually, as I am much too exhausted and debilitated to be left alone. This expense would in itself be more than the whole of my Income is adequate to defray. Consequently, it would appear that it is the will of God to place my life humanly speaking, in your hands, as the friend, next to Himself most dear to the heart of—
"Yours Devotedly,
"A. J."
The Duke's reply was energetic and to the point:—
London, July 12th, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I have just now received from you a letter dated July 11th written upon four sides of letter paper, and I am concerned to learn, after a most difficult Perusal thereof that your Health is still in a bad and precarious state! and your pecuniary affairs very much deranged! You had never before mentioned this last to me! You frequently named to me in your letters Your Guardian and your receipt through his hands of your Dividends, and I therefore concluded that your worldly affairs were well managed, while your Mind was occupied by reflecting on the future! But I have seldom read of such a state of pecuniary affairs as that you give in the letter which I have at last been able to read and to which I am endeavoring to write an answer!
I beg you to let me know what sum it is you wish, at what time or times to be paid? Whether an order at a Banker would suit you? If Payable at a Banker usually employed by you, will you be so kind as to let me know his Name? All this legibly written!
Ever yours most faithfully.
Wellington.
I entreat you to write legibly! and to avoid fatiguing yourself by writing too much!
This letter of the Duke's, if hardly gracious, is at least not unkind. The answer he received was of a nature to drive a man of his practicality to the verge of distraction:—
My dear Duke,—As "for me to live is Christ, but to die is gain," you may rest assured however surrounded by pecuniary difficulties, I should have preferred the latter to making known my circumstances to you. Had I not been so continually urged by my dear Sister telling me that it would kill her, that she could never bear to leave me in England thus situated and that she hoped for her sake that I should use the only means in my power for prolonging my life I never could have told you such truths. I am not surprised that they drew forth the remark that you had never read of such a state of pecuniary affairs. Nor would I offer so great an insult to my Christianity as to do more than add that the same God Who has thought proper thus to situate me knows that I would never dishonor His great Name by the slightest misrepresentation. Therefore, My dear Duke, if you read that letter carefully you will be much better able to calculate what I require than I am to tell you. I would not do so, nor am I able to tell you by what means I am to receive it as I never did such a thing and know nothing of money arrangements. Consequently I must leave all to God and yourself, beseeching Him to guide, influence and direct you to treat me in whatever way is most agreeable to His unerring will and to bless you accordingly.
Your kind wish that I should not fatigue myself with writing too much is, rest assured, appreciated as it deserves, as every other mark of kindness and consideration shown to
Yours devotedly,
A. J.
A Harold Skimpole in petticoats! The ineffable condescension to the worldly-mindedness of the Duke, the tone of spiritual pride that pervades the letters, would be exasperating if they were not absurd. That the humorous side of the affair was not apparent to the Duke is shown by his reply:—
London, July 16, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I am very sorry indeed if I should have offended you. But when you wrote to me a description of the State of your affairs, I concluded that you intended that I should form an opinion upon them and communicate the same to you!
It is very true that you and I are of a different opinion. I think that God having endowed Men with reason, and the Power of judging Right from wrong! Has made Him responsible for the care of Himself and for good will to all!
You think that Man is responsible only for His Duty towards the Almighty! who charges Himself with the Rest! I dare say that I am mistaken! notwithstanding my Studies. You know more of this matter than I do!
Ever Yours most faithfully,
Wellington.
Miss J. does not give a copy of her next letter to the Duke, but she remarks that it consisted principally of observations upon complete reliance on God, and disregard of earthly means; taking as her text, "Seek FIRST the Kingdom of God and HIS righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."
The Duke's answer does not savor of things spiritual:—
London, July 23, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I am very much concerned to observe from your last letter that notwithstanding that you feel that you require my Worldly assistance; and are willing to accept and receive the same, you will not state to me the mode in which I am to render the Assistance required! I know that you have a Banker in London! Why don't you then let me know His Name? or state in whatever mode of those stated by me you would wish to receive what I should send. You may rely upon it that unless precautions are taken you will not receive the money sent! It will fall into the hands of thieves!
Ever Yours most faithfully
Wellington.
Miss J. writes:—
"In my reply to the Duke I assured him that I had no Banker in London to my knowledge, never having had to do more than occasionally receive my Dividends, when my Guardian transacted business, which generally speaking he forwarded by letter. But in order to give the Duke a clear idea how things stood, I promised to enclose two letters for his perusal, one from my Guardian before his death and the other from his wife after it! Alas! by doing this I brought upon myself more trouble and sorrow than can ever be forgotten, through the untoward, unlooked for circumstances that attended them. These I would willingly omit if faithfulness to God and the world did not call upon me to proceed regularly as occurrences took place, however torn and wounded my mind may be!... I feel even now as I write that I wonder at myself for ever addressing the Duke again. However, I was then laid upon a bed of sickness and apparently approaching death, therefore it is probable that the eternal welfare of one to whom I had dedicated myself for so many years increased in importance in my estimation, if this were possible. Nor can I ever account for such devoted feelings to any individual beyond concluding that God had so decreed it.
"Of course I lost no time in sending the letters promised and required, but they miscarried."
Hearing nothing from the Duke, Miss J. wrote again:—
"July 23, 1850.
"As I cannot think it possible, My Dear Duke, that you could treat me with so much cruelty in my present state as to have received two such letters as my last without noticing them, I write to enquire whether you have heard from me twice since I heard from you. I entreated you not to keep my mind in suspense, as I was not in a State to bear it.
"I have a Physician twice a week, and yesterday, on finding my pulse in such a State he seemed very dissatisfied, saying if my mind were not kept free from all anxiety it will kill me. Therefore, My Dear Duke, you surely cannot hear this without using every means in your power to relieve it.
"You ask me in your Letter of the 12th Inst. in what way I should like you to acquiesce with my wishes? or through what Bank? I answered that I should be guided entirely by your advice, yet not a word did I receive in your next on the subject, nor from that time to this have you referred to it. This to me is quite incomprehensible, as you in the same letter imply it is your intention that I shall have all that is necessary. I cannot help adding I consider this the least God would have me expect from Your hands, My dearest Duke, under present trying circumstances, feeling towards you as HE knows I have done so many years such disinterestedness dedication and affection."
The Duke's next letters show his irritation.
London, July 25, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received your Letter of the 24th that is yesterday, but not the one which you state in that letter that you had written to me yesterday—it is on Tuesday—containing two enclosures being a letter from your Guardian and another from his Wife.
These letters when forwarded will enable me to judge of what it is you require! and the mode in which I am to send you what you require!
It is indeed very difficult to supply the daily wants of those who will not state what they are; or adopt any means of receiving what she requires!
However I shall be able to form a judgment when I shall receive the letters you received from Mr. & Mrs. ——
Ever Yours most faithfully,
Wellington.
London, July 26, 1850.
My dear Miss J.,—I have received your Note of the 25th and the number inclosed of the Shop at which the Post Office is kept, ... and I wish you to make Enquiries after your own Letter! If I am to make enquiries they will be forwarded as a letter from yourself which I must send to the Post Office; and I beg you to write accordingly in plain simple Terms reciting the fact! and as your letter must be sent to the general Post Office I beg leave without intending any Offence to request that all endearing expressions which do not suit the Relations in which we stand towards each other should be omitted! as they might lead to false conclusions injurious to you! I must observe to you that the General Post Office will probably answer that if the last letter contained papers of consequence; it ought to have been marked and paid for as a registered letter; when put into the Post! The cost is sixpence!
This is the mode in which I proposed to send you Money! You would have to do no more than sign the printed receipt for the letter which would be sent to you with it.
The Post Office would know nothing of the Contents of the Letter!
Living in the World and with the Wants and necessities incident to Human Nature! it is necessary that even you should comply with its simple Rules and Customs.
Yours most faithfully,
Wellington.
The missing packet was at last found and forwarded. The enclosures stated about the same explanation of Miss J.'s affairs that she had herself given in her letter to the Duke. They also stated that the amount of her income from this time would be only £12 10s. 1d. every half year. At the same time these came to hand, the Duke received Miss J.'s letter of July 23rd, given above.
London, July 30, 1850.
Miss J.,—Since I addressed you last your letter of the 23rd of July which had been refused or missing reached me with the enclosed letters returned. I confess that I cannot admit of the Christian Justice of your Reproaches.
I told you that I was ready and willing to give you pecuniary assistance if you would say what you required, and would adopt one of several Modes in which I offered to send it to you! But you have given no answer either as to warrant, a means of sending you this; and yet you reproach me! This is not just or fair!
In truth according to the statement in these letters there is no absolute necessity for any Assistance at present!
Your most obedient Humble Servant
Wellington.
Miss J. writes,—
"To describe how I recoiled from this letter received from His Grace would be impossible. My feeling was both on his account and my own. On his, to think that while possessed of thousands yearly he could thus have reconciled himself to imply that the utterly insufficient sum alluded to in those enclosed letters was enough for me in that truly distressing helpless state. On my own part, I lamented deeply that I should ever have been influenced under any circumstances to ask a favor at his hands. This I would rather have died than do, had not the affection of so fond a Sister, who judged of others by her own generous heart overcome every selfish feeling and at length prevailed!"
Miss J. immediately prepared and sent off the following letter to the Duke.
July 30, 1850.
My Lord Duke,—Having placed my cause in His Hands "Who judgeth righteously and Whose Countenance beholdeth the thing that is right," consequently Who will not, I am assured, suffer you with impunity to treat me with greater coarseness and want of due consideration than I under similar circumstances should have extended to a common menial that I had known or who had served me for the same number of years, I leave you in His Hands accordingly. I resume my pen merely to inform you that as you thought proper after reading my Guardian's letter written several years ago and his wife's of later date, yet can at the conclusion of your most unwelcome letter write as follows, "In truth, according to the contents of these letters there is no absolute necessity for any assistance at present,"—I desire to remark that if it were not necessary then it will never be necessary from Your hands. Consequently, should you at your good will and pleasure think proper to take the liberty of sending me a Registered letter with an Enclosure, I shall not only decline receiving it but likewise refuse to sign the paper that accompanies it in the Post Man's charge, let the consequences be whatever they may. It is to prevent such an Intrusion on your part and such a due mortification on mine towards Your Grace that I have now resumed my pen—for ill as I still feel I would rather beg my bread from door to door than receive a favor at such hands! preferring to trust myself wholly in His Hands Who declares "The silver is Mine and the gold is Mine."...
May God in His infinite mercy, My Lord Duke, give you Grace to understand this Divine assertion, "Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in ME, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the Sea."
May HE before it is too late incline you to draw near unto Him accordingly prays,
His devoted Child and Servant,
A. J.
London, August 7, 1850.
Field Marshal the Duke of Wellington presents His Compliments to Miss J. He is much concerned at her answer and that he has given her Offence, however unintentionally! The Duke may have been mistaken! But it certainly appeared to him that the Money lent upon Mortgage; of which the Interest was in arrears of a year, and paid very irregularly might with advantage have been called in and the rest of the Sum might with advantage have been applied to defray the expenses attending Miss J.'s illness! More particularly as Miss J. was unwilling to adopt any of the modes suggested by which pecuniary assistance might have been sent her!
The Duke assures her that he is not disposed to expose her to any thing inconvenient by desiring that she should sign any papers!
He was anxious that she should receive the pecuniary assistance which might be useful or necessary to Her in the manner least tiresome to Herself and least likely to occasion the inquiries of busy and impertinent curiosity!
However Miss J. may rely upon it that he will not interrupt her repose excepting in consequence of her own expressed desire!
One fancies a mocking tone in the last sentence of the Duke's letter, as though he surmised Miss J.'s silence would not be of long duration. He did not reckon without his host. Miss J. held her peace for three weeks. Then, seeing by the "Times" that the Right Hon. Charles Arbuthnot had died suddenly at the house of the Duke of Wellington, she wrote a letter of condolence which in its expressions of deep sympathy and its religious consolations would not have been out of place if indited upon the death of the Duke's nearest of kin. [Endnote 12] To this effusion the Duke sent no answer. Nothing daunted, Miss J. only waited for an excuse to write again. This she soon found in a newspaper paragraph stating that the Duke had been thrown from his carriage. Her letter and the Duke's reply follow:
Sept. 16, 1850.
My Lord Duke,—Notwithstanding my changed feelings I am deeply concerned to hear of your late accident, and still more deeply grateful to Almighty God for your preservation. I sincerely hope that such gracious interposition of Providence in your favor may eventually lead you to glorify Him in your life and conversation accordingly, 'seeking Him while HE may be found, and calling upon Him while HE is near," ever bearing in mind that HE is "no respecter of persons." Consequently none but those who through His Grace have undergone "a new birth unto righteousness," can justifiably expect to enter into His Kingdom. That HE may enable you to understand this experimentally is the earnest wish of
His devoted Child and Servant,
A. J.
P.S. I do not give you my address, My Lord Duke, in order to elicit an answer, but merely to imply that should my Christian advice be required you may know where to find me.
By the Duke's answer, he apparently feels no need nor desire for Christian advice.