Chapter XI

His attending the Yearly-meeting in London; and, after it, proceeding towards Yorkshire, visiting several Quarterly and other Meetings in the Counties of Hertford, Warwick, Oxford, Nottingham, York, and Westmoreland; and thence again into Yorkshire, and to the City of York; with some instructive Thoughts and Observations, and Letters on divers Subjects—His hearing of the Decease of William Hunt; and some Account of him—His Sickness at York; and End of his Pilgrimage there

On the eighth Day of the sixth Month, 1772, we landed at London; and I went straightway to the Yearly-meeting of Ministers and Elders, which had been gathered (I suppose) about half an Hour.

In this Meeting my Mind was humbly contrite: In the Afternoon the Meeting of Business opened; which, by Adjournments, held near a Week. In these Meetings I often felt a living Concern for the Establishment of Friends in the pure Life of Truth; and my Heart was enlarged in the Meeting of Ministers, Meeting of Business, and in several Meetings of publick Worship; and I felt my Mind united in true Love to the faithful Labourers now gathered at this Yearly-meeting.

On the fifteenth Day of the Month, I left London, and went to a Quarterly-meeting at Hertford.

The first Day of the seventh Month. I have been at Quarterly-meetings at Sherrington, Northampton, Banbury, and Shipston; and had sundry Meetings between: My Mind hath been bowed under a Sense of divine Goodness manifested amongst us; my Heart hath been often enlarged in true Love, both amongst Ministers and Elders, and in publick Meetings; that through the Lord's Goodness, I believe it hath been a fresh Visitation to many, in particular to the Youth.

The seventeenth Day of the Month. Was this Day at Birmingham: Have been at Meetings at Coventry, Warwick, in Oxfordshire, and sundry other Places; have felt the humbling Hand of the Lord upon me; and through his tender Mercies find Peace in the Labours I have gone through.

The twenty-sixth Day of the Month. I have continued travelling northward, visiting Meetings: Was this Day at Nottingham; which, in the Forenoon especially, was, through divine Love, a Heart-tendering Season: Next Day had a Meeting in a Friend's House with Friends Children and some Friends; this, through the strengthening Arm of the Lord, was a Time to be thankfully remembered.

The second Day of the eighth Month, and first of the Week. Was this Day at Sheffield, a large inland Town: Have been at sundry Meetings last Week; and feel inward Thankfulness for that divine Support, which hath been graciously extended to me.

The ninth Day of the Month, and first of the Week, was at Rushworth: Have lately passed through some painful Labour; but have been comforted, under a Sense of that divine Visitation, which I feel extended toward many young People.

The sixteenth Day of the Month, and first of the Week, I was at Settle: It hath of late been a Time of inward Poverty; under which my Mind hath been preserved in a watchful tender State, feeling for the Mind of the holy Leader, and I find Peace in the Labours I have passed through.

I have felt great Distress of Mind, since I came on this Island, on Account of the Members of our Society being mixed with the World in various Sorts of Business and Traffick, carried on in impure Channels. Great is the Trade to Africa for Slaves! and, in loading these Ships, abundance of People are employed in the Factories; amongst whom are many of our Society. Friends, in early Times, refused, on a religious Principle, to make, or trade in, Superfluities; of which we have many large Testimonies on Record; but, for Want of Faithfulness, some gave way; even some, whose Examples were of Note in our Society; and from thence others took more Liberty. Members of our Society worked in Superfluities, and bought and sold them; and thus Dimness of Sight came over many: At length, Friends got into the Use of some Superfluities in Dress, and in the Furniture of their Houses; and this hath spread from less to more, till Superfluity of some Kinds is common amongst us.

In this declining State, many look at the Example one of another, and too much neglect the pure Feeling of Truth. Of late Years, a deep Exercise hath attended my Mind, that Friends may dig deep, may carefully cast forth the loose Matter, and get down to the Rock, the sure Foundation, and there hearken to that divine Voice which gives a clear and certain Sound; and I have felt in that which doth not deceive, that if Friends, who have known the Truth, keep in that Tenderness of Heart, where all Views of outward Gain are given up, and their Trust is only on the Lord, he will graciously lead some to be Patterns of deep Self-denial in Things relating to Trade and Handicraft-labour; and that some, who have plenty of the Treasures of this World, will example in a plain frugal Life, and pay Wages, to such as they may hire, more liberally than is now customary in some Places.

The twenty-third Day of the Month. Was this Day at Preston-Patrick, and had a comfortable Meeting. I have, several Times, been entertained at the Houses of Friends, who had sundry Things about them which had the Appearance of outward Greatness; and, as I have kept inward, Way hath opened for Conversation with such in private, in which Divine Goodness hath favoured us together with heart-tendering Times.

I rested a few Days, in Body and Mind, with our Friend Jane Crosfield; who was once in America: Was, on the sixth Day of the Week, at Kendal in Westmoreland; and at Greyrig Meeting the thirtieth Day of the Month, and first of the Week.

I have known Poverty of late, and been graciously supported to keep in the Patience; and am thankful, under a Sense of the Goodness of the Lord toward those that are of a contrite Spirit.

The sixth Day of the ninth Month, and first of the Week. Was this Day at Counterside, a large Meeting-house, and very full; and, through the Opening of pure Love, it was a strengthening Time to me, and (I believe) to many more.

The thirteenth Day of the Month. Was this Day at Richmond, a small Meeting; but, the Town's People coming in, the House was crowded: It was a Time of heavy Labour; and (I believe) was a profitable Meeting.

At this Place I heard that my Kinsman William Hunt, from North-Carolina, who was on a religious Visit to Friends in England, departed this Life on the ninth Day of the ninth Month, Instant, of the Small-pox, at Newcastle.—He appeared in the Ministry when a Youth; and his Labours therein were of good Savour. He travelled much in that Work in America. I once heard him say, in publick Testimony, that his Concern was (in that Visit) to be devoted to the Service of Christ so fully, that he might not spend one Minute in pleasing himself: Which Words, joined with his Example, were a Means of stirring up the pure Mind in me.

On this Visit to England I have felt some Instructions sealed on my Mind, which I am concerned to leave in Writing, for the Use of such as are called to the Station of a Minister of Christ.

Christ being the Prince of Peace, and we being no more than Ministers, I find it necessary for us, not only to feel a Concern in our first going forth, but to experience the renewing thereof, in the Appointment of Meetings.

I felt a Concern, in America, to prepare for this Voyage; and, being, through the Mercy of God, brought safe here, my Heart was like a Vessel that wanted Vent; and for several Weeks, at first, when my Mouth was opened in Meetings, it often felt like the raising of a Gate in a Water-course, where a Weight of Water lay upon it; and in these Labours there appeared a fresh Visitation to many, especially the Youth; but sometimes, after this, I felt empty and poor, and yet felt a Necessity to appoint Meetings.

In this State I was exercised to abide in the pure Life of Truth, and in all my Labours to watch diligently against the Motions of Self in my own Mind.

I have frequently felt a Necessity to stand up, when the Spring of the Ministry was low; and to speak from the Necessity, in that which subjecteth the Will of the Creature; and herein I was united with the suffering Seed, and found inward Sweetness with these mortifying Labours.

As I have been preserved in a watchful Attention to the divine Leader, under these Dispensations, Enlargement at Times hath followed, and the Power of Truth hath risen higher, in some Meetings, than I ever knew it before through me.

Thus I have been more and more instructed, as to the Necessity of depending, not upon a Concern which I felt in America, to come on a Visit to England, but upon the fresh Instructions of Christ, the Prince of Peace, from Day to Day.

Now, of late, I felt a Stop in the Appointment of Meetings, not wholly, but in Part; and I do not feel Liberty to appoint them so quick one after another as I have heretofore.

The Work of the Ministry being a Work of divine Love, I feel that the Openings thereof are to be waited for, in all our Appointments.

O! how deep is divine Wisdom! Christ puts forth his Ministers, and goeth before them: And O! how great is the Danger of departing from the pure Feeling of that which leadeth safely!

Christ knoweth the State of the People; and, in the pure Feeling of the Gospel-Ministry, their States are opened to his Servants.

Christ knoweth when the Fruit-bearing Branches themselves have Need of purging.

O! that these Lessons may be remembered by me! and that all who appoint Meetings may proceed in the pure Feeling of Duty.

I have sometimes felt a Necessity to stand up; but that Spirit which is of the World hath so much prevailed in many, and the pure Life of Truth been so pressed down, that I have gone forward, not as one travelling in a Road cast up and well prepared, but as a Man walking through a Miry place, in which are Stones here and there, safe to step on, but so situated, that, one Step being taken, Time is necessary to see where to step next.

Now I find that, in the pure Obedience, the Mind learns Contentment, in appearing weak and foolish to that Wisdom which is of the World; and in these lowly Labours, they who stand in a low Place, rightly exercised under the Cross, will find Nourishment.

The Gift is pure; and, while the Eye is single in attending thereto, the Understanding is preserved clear: Self is kept out. We rejoice in filling up that which remains of the Afflictions of Christ, for his Body's Sake, which is the Church.

The natural Man loveth Eloquence, and many love to hear eloquent Orations; and, if there is not a careful Attention to the Gift, Men who have once laboured in the pure Gospel-ministry, growing weary of Suffering, and ashamed of appearing weak, may kindle a Fire, compass themselves about with Sparks, and walk in the Light; not of Christ who is under Suffering; but of that Fire which they, going from the Gift, have kindled; and that in Hearers, which is gone from the meek suffering State, into the worldly Wisdom, may be warmed with this Fire, and speak highly of these Labours. That which is of God gathers to God; and that which is of the World is owned by the World.

In this Journey a Labour hath attended my Mind, that the Ministers amongst us may be preserved in the meek feeling Life of Truth, where we may have no Desire but to follow Christ and be with him; that, when he is under Suffering, we may suffer with him, and never desire to rise up in Dominion, but as he, by the Virtue of his own Spirit, may raise us.

A few Days after writing these Considerations, our dear Friend, in the Course of his religious Visits, came to the City of York, and attended most of the Sittings of the Quarterly-meeting there; but, before it was over, was taken ill of the Small-pox. Our Friend, Thomas Priestman, and others who attended him, preserved the following Minutes of his Expressions in the Time of his Sickness and of his Decease.

First-day, the twenty-seventh of the ninth Month, 1772. His Disorder appeared to be the Small-pox.

Second-day. He said he felt the Disorder to affect his Head, so that he could think little, and but as a Child.

Third-day he uttered the following Prayer.—O Lord my God! the amazing Horrors of Darkness were gathered around me and covered me all over, and I saw no Way to go forth; I felt the Depth and Extent of the Misery of my Fellow-creatures separated from the divine Harmony, and it was heavier than I could bear, and I was crushed down under it; I lifted up my Hand, I stretched out my Arm, but there was none to help me; I looked round about and was amazed; in the Depths of Misery, O Lord! I remembered that thou art omnipotent, that I had called thee Father, and I felt that I loved thee, and I was made quiet in thy Will, and I waited for Deliverance from thee; thou hadst Pity upon me when no Man could help me: I saw that Meekness under Suffering was shewed to us in the most affecting Example of thy Son, and thou taughtest me to follow him, and I said, "Thy Will, O Father! be done."

Fourth-day-morning, being asked how he felt himself, he meekly answered, I do not know that I have slept this Night, I feel the Disorder making its Progress, but my Mind is mercifully preserved in Stillness and Peace: Sometime after he said he was sensible the Pains of Death must be hard to bear; but, if he escaped them now, he must sometime pass through them, and he did not know that he could be better prepared, but had no Will in it. He said he had settled his outward Affairs to his Mind, had taken Leave of his Wife and Family as never to return, leaving them to the divine Protection; adding, and though I feel them near to me at this Time, yet I freely give them up, having a Hope that they will be provided for. And a little after said, This Trial is made easier than I could have thought, my Will being wholly taken away; for if I were anxious for the Event, it would have been harder; but I am not, and my Mind enjoys a perfect Calm.

In the Night a young Woman having given him something to drink, he said, My Child, thou seemest very kind to me, a poor Creature, the Lord will reward thee for it. A While after he cried out with great Earnestness of Spirit, O my Father! my Father! and soon after he said, O my Father! my Father! how comfortable art thou to my Soul in this trying Season! Being asked if he could take a little Nourishment; after some Pause he replied, my Child, I cannot tell what to say to it; I seem nearly arrived where my Soul shall have Rest from all its Troubles. After giving in something to be inserted in his Journal, he said, I believe the Lord will now excuse me from Exercises of this Kind; and I see no Work but one, which is to be the last wrought by me in this World; the Messenger will come that will release me from all these Troubles; but it must be in the Lord's Time, which I am waiting for. He said he had laboured to do whatever was required, according to the Ability received, in the Remembrance of which he had Peace; and, though the Disorder was strong at Times, and would like a Whirlwind come over his Mind, yet it had hitherto been kept steady, and centered in everlasting Love; adding, and if that be mercifully continued, I ask nor desire no more. Another Time he said, he had long had a view of visiting this Nation, and, sometime before he came, had a Dream, in which he saw himself in the northern Parts of it, and that the Spring of the Gospel was opened in him much as in the Beginning of Friends, such as George Fox and William Dewsberry, and he saw the different States of the People, as clear as he had ever seen Flowers in a Garden; but in his going along he was suddenly stopt, though he could not see for what End; but, looking towards Home, fell into a Flood of Tears which waked him.

At another Time he said, My Draught seemed strongest towards the North, and I mentioned, in my own Monthly-meeting, that attending the Quarterly-meeting at York, and being there, looked like Home to me.

Fifth-day-night, having repeatedly consented to take Medicine with a View to settle his Stomach, but without Effect, the Friend, then waiting on him, said, through Distress, What shall I do now? He answered with great Composure, Rejoice evermore, and in every Thing give Thanks; but added a little after, this is sometimes hard to come at.

Sixth-day-morning, he broke forth early in Supplication on this wise: O Lord! it was thy Power that enabled me to forsake Sin in my Youth, and I have felt thy Bruises for Disobedience; but, as I bowed under them, thou didst heal me, continuing a Father and a Friend: I feel thy Power now, and I beg that, in the approaching trying Moment, thou wilt keep my Heart stedfast unto thee.——Upon his giving Directions to a Friend concerning some little Things, she said, I will take Care, but hope thou wilt live to order them thyself. He replied, My Hope is in Christ; and, though I may seem a little better, a Change in the Disorder may soon happen, and my little Strength be dissolved; and, if it so happen, I shall be gathered to my everlasting Rest. On her saying she did not doubt that, but could not help mourning to see so many faithful Servants removed at so low a Time, he said, All Good cometh from the Lord, whose Power is the same, and can work as he sees best. The same Day he had given Directions about wrapping his Corpse, perceiving a Friend to weep, he said, I would rather thou wouldst guard against weeping for me, my Sister; I sorrow not, though I have had some painful Conflicts; but now they seem over, and Matters well settled, and I look at the Face of my dear Redeemer; for sweet is his Voice, and his Countenance is comely.

First-day, fourth of the tenth Month, being very weak, and in general difficult to be understood, he uttered a few Words in Commemoration of the Lord's Goodness, and added, How tenderly have I been waited on in this Time of Affliction! in which I may say, in JOB'S Words, Tedious Days and wearisome Nights are appointed unto me: And how many are spending their Time and Money in Vanity and Superfluities, while thousands and tens of thousands want the Necessaries of Life, who might be relieved by them, and their Distresses, at such a Time as this, in some degree softened, by the administering suitable Things!

Second-day-morning, the Apothecary, who appeared very anxious to assist him, being present, he queried about the Probability of such a Load of Matter being thrown off his weak Body; and, the Apothecary making some Remarks implying he thought it might, he spoke with an audible Voice on this wise:—My Dependance is on the Lord Jesus, who, I trust, will forgive my Sins, which is all I hope for; and, if it be his Will to raise up this Body again, I am content; and, if to die, I am resigned; and, if thou canst not be easy without trying to assist Nature, I submit. After which his Throat was so much affected, that it was very difficult for him to speak so as to be understood; and he frequently wrote when he wanted any Thing. About the second Hour, on Fourth-day Morning, he asked for Pen and Ink, and, at several Times, with much Difficulty, wrote thus: I believe my being here is in the Wisdom of Christ; I know not as to Life or Death.

About a Quarter before six, the same Morning, he seemed to fall into an easy Sleep, which continued about Half an Hour; when, seeming to awake, he breathed a few Times with more Difficulty, and expired, without Sigh, Groan, or Struggle!

End of the Journal