The Erratic Rat

There was a ridiculous Rat Who was awfully puffy and fat. “I’ll carry,” he said, “This plate on my head, ’Twill answer in place of a hat.”

And then he remarked with a frown, “I suppose that I must have a gown; I’ll make me a kilt Of this old crazy-quilt, To wear when I’m going to town.

“And of course, though the weather is warm, It may be there’ll come up a storm; An umbrella I’ll make Of a caraway cake, It’ll match with my whole uniform.

And I’ll carry a bottle of ink In case I should wish for a drink; And this flat-iron so sweet I’ll take with me to eat, And now I am ready, I think.”