Part 1 — THE PET NAME
Reading edition
"... the name Which from their lips seemed a caress." —-Miss Milford's "Dramatic Scenes"
I have a name, a little name, Uncadenced for the ear, Unhonored by ancestral claim, Unsanctified by prayer and psalm The solemn font anear.
It never did to pages wove For gay romance belong; It never dedicate did move As "Sacharissa" unto love, "Orinda" unto song.
Though I write books, it will be read Upon the leaves of none, And afterward, when I am dead, Will ne'er be graved for sight or tread, Across my funeral-stone.
This name, whoever chance to call, Perhaps your smile may win: Nay, do not smile! mine eyelids fall Over mine eyes and feel withal The sudden tears within.
Is there a leaf, that greenly grows Where summer meadows bloom, But gathereth the winter snows, And changeth to the hue of those, If lasting till they come?
Is there a word, or jest, or game, But time incrusteth round With sad associate thoughts the same? And so to me my very name Assumes a mournful sound.
My brother gave that name to me When we were children twain, When names acquired baptismally Were hard to utter, as to see That life had any pain.
No shade was on us then, save one Of chestnuts from the hill; And through the word our laugh did run As part thereof: the mirth being done, He calls me by it still.
Nay, do not smile! I hear in it What none of you can hear,— The talk upon the willow seat, The bird and wind that did repeat Around, our human cheer.
I hear the birthday's noisy bliss My sisters' woodland glee, My father's praise I did not miss When stooping down, he cared to kiss The poet at his knee,—
And voices which, to name me, aye Their tenderest tones were keeping,— To some I nevermore can say An answer till God wipes away In heaven these drops of weeping.
My name to me a sadness wears: No murmurs cross my mind— Now God be thanked for these thick tears, Which show, of those departed years, Sweet memories left behind.
Now God be thanked for years enwrought With love which softens yet: Now God be thanked for every thought Which is so tender it has caught Earth's guerdon of regret.
Earth saddens, never shall remove Affections purely given; And e'en that mortal grief shall prove The immortality of love, And heighten it with Heaven.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning [1806-1861]