PART I. (continued 3)

As to burning my effigy, I found they had done that to some good men, whose shoe latchets I am not worthy to loose. Mr. Huntington relates, in his “Naked Bow of God,” page 280—“However, our adversaries meeting with more encouragement than us, we were attended home by them, with their hats adorned with ribbons; and, on their arrival, the whole parish appeared in triumph: the bells were immediately rung, and my little cottage was beset on all sides. My effigy then was made and burnt, a blasphemous harangue delivered, as a funeral sermon, over this figure of straw and rags, and abominable impudence was sung in imitation of a funeral anthem. Upon this one and all cried out, they were for the High Church; and, indeed, none could properly doubt of that, who saw the height of their wickedness; for, had they been Turks, or Pagans, they would have been ashamed of such conduct.”

I acknowledge this treatment was for preaching the gospel; and I beg leave also to remark, that had I not preached the gospel, there would never have been so much opposition to me. But some of my holy adversaries in the religious world justify such unscriptural means; and, in order to put a gloss on their cruelty, will tell you it is done for the lord’s honor.

The excellent laws of the country have a just right to punish offenders; but it is our mercy the sword is not in the hands of certain reverends, or else woe be to those whom their reverences choose to denominate Antinomians. Such priests and levites not only pass by a poor man that has fallen amongst thieves, but they cruelly cast heavy stones at him, and employ others to do the same. I beg leave here to present you with an account of the same persecuting spirit that actuated a mob at Richmond, in the year 1774. Take the circumstance as related in the “Gospel Magazine,” page 214, vol. I.—

“Monday evening last, a most numerous mob assembled, each with a bludgeon in his hand, and Mr. B— at their head, to the no small terror of our friends, some of whom B— abused very much, and even declared he would shortly hang their very persons up before their own doors. They went in procession through the town, with one C—, in heavy fetters, whom they named rev. R. H. They proceeded to a mock trial of him for defrauding a linen-draper of £200. After they had condemned him to be hanged on the Wednesday following, they ordered him to be chained down, &c. They went to several houses, where they had beer and money given them. I believe they did not go to the honorable magistrate’s house, nor will I dare to say that his clerk gave them any money, yet he has been very busy in those affairs at times. On Wednesday evening they assembled again, with the culprit in the cart, in the exact posture of an actual criminal going to be hanged; a book in his left hand, his eyes lifted up to heaven, and saying a blasphemous prayer as he went along. They proceeded to the meeting-house, opposite to which a gallows was erected in the morning, where, after singing a hymn, and offering up a blasphemous prayer, the culprit was turned off, with the rope about his arms, though some will have it that the effigy only was hung up, yet I think I can believe my eyes beyond what they say. They swore that if any of the Methodists came there they would have their blood. We hope that some effectual methods will be taken against them; for I do assure you, Sir, till something be done, we are not safe in our beds; our houses are often attacked in the night, and we are not safe as we go to business, in open day, by reason of large stones being thrown at us, as we walk the streets. I believe, if we were rebels, or had betrayed our country we should be more valued here than we are now; and that only because we would meet to worship our God, honour our king, pray for him and his, and wish peace and prosperity to our country, &c.”

But God meant that unto good; for, a little while after, in the same magazine, we read, page 311—

“Sunday last, the young man who was desperately wounded, in protecting some of the audience from the insults of the rabble, at Richmond, publicly renounced the errors of the Church of Rome, at the Methodist meeting-house in that town, and embraced the Protestant Faith, as held by the Established Church of England.”

What a mercy to be protected in our civil and religious privileges! God be praised for a Protestant king and parliament, and for the excellent laws of our land. Amen and amen,

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXVI.

“And thou shalt go even to Babylon, and there shalt thou be delivered.”—Micah, iii. 9 to close.

To —

The painful business was now to be brought to a final issue. I judged, before-hand, how it would terminate—as these words followed me wherever I went—“And Paul dwelt two whole years in his own hired house, and received all that came to him.” The decision was appointed for the 6th of November; but, in consequence of the death of the much-lamented Princess Charlotte, it was postponed. A more gloomy month, I think, I never knew, especially the 18th when the solemn church bells minutely tolled for that amiable character’s funeral.

On Sunday morning, the 23rd, I preached my farewell sermon, on Micah, vii.—“Rejoice not against me, Oh, mine enemy; though I fall, I shall rise; though I sit in darkness, the Lord will be a light unto me.” I bade an affectionate farewell to my friends, nor did I prove a false prophet, as thousands have witnessed. Samson’s locks have grown again, and John the Baptist has risen from the dead.

The next day, in God’s strength, I went to Westminster-hall, and received my sentence. I had provided many things to address the court with, and could have put in fifteen affidavits, but I was advised by counsel not to speak a word, but quietly submit to the sentence, which I did; and, as soon as it was passed, my heart was at liberty, which it had not experienced for one year and three months before.—Newspapers and scribblers have asserted, it was pronounced to the great joy of the court, and gave great satisfaction;—but, if a rude rabble can be called a court, I am mistaken. And, alas! what is noisy breath! the applause of such mortals! when only about three weeks after, the same rabble had the daring impudence to hiss the very judge, on the same spot, in the matter of Hone! As in days of old, when the public cried “Hosanna!” one day, and in four days more, “Crucify him, crucify him!” So much for public applause or resentment.

In some cases we may truly say—

I arrived safe at Achor Vale, and glad enough I was to rest from the long strife. I was delivered from the noise of the archers, the sounding of the mountains, and the horns of rams blown by goats, the braying of asses, and the grumbling of bears.

A variety of select portions of scripture, which had been applied to me some time before, came seasonably into my mind, and I found the Lord faithful to his word.

The idea of a prison had often struck me with horror; but I have always found, through many changes, we want a mind to our situation—as we shall never get a situation fully to our minds till we get to heaven. When I arrived, every fear respecting my treatment was banished; gloomy as it had appeared, all was to the contrary. I was received with the greatest civility by the unhappy company I met with there. A young man who had been an officer’s servant, proffered his services to wait on me, and rendered me very comfortable. The kind governor gave me one of the best rooms, and permitted me to have every convenience for sleeping I could desire, and all the books I chose to send for.—This alleviated my mind; and, altogether, at times I was nearly distracted with grief, the Lord held me up, kept me in my senses, and blest me in my soul.

I cannot help here remarking, that, many months previous to this, I had dreamed of the very room I was put into, with the kind attention of my wife, who had not long been dead at the time I had the dream, and which was, I believe, two years before the trouble took place. But this was allotted to another, who was very kind and attentive on that painful occasion. A variety of most distressing thoughts, at times, overwhelmed me. A separation from the house of God, the perplexities of the church, the hypocrisy of some of the preachers, the grief of my family, the loss of liberty, the company around me, the joy of my foes, and fearing the truth should suffer by my supposed and reported faults, with the length of time appointed me—these things, it was natural to suppose, must have created the most poignant distress. The many months before me seemed so many years; but this led me to reflect on an eternity of joy or woe, the final doom of the righteous and the wicked. Eternity! Eternity!—a pleasing and dreadful thought. This brought to my mind the solemn description of eternity, us written by the excellent Ralph Erskine, in his “Description of the Misery of the Wicked.” “Gospel Sonnets,” p. 62.—

“Ah I must I live in torturing despair, As many years as atoms in the air; When these are spent, as many thousands more, As grains of sand which crowd the ebbing shore; When these are done, as many yet behind, As leaves of forest, shaken with the wind; When these are done, as many to ensue, As stems of grass on hills and dales that grew; When these run out, as many on the march, As starry lamps that gild the spangled arch; When these expire, as many millions more, As moments in the million, past before; When all these doleful years are spent in pain, And multiplied by myriads again?— ’Tis numbers drown the thought. Could I suppose, That then my wretched years were at a close, This would afford some ease; but, ah! I shiver, To think upon the dreadful sound—for ever.”

But, as interested in the love of God, pardoned by the great atonement, and justified by the meritorious obedience of the adorable God-man Mediator; called out of darkness, and divinely influenced and kept by the power of God, the holy making Spirit, we shall enjoy a long, a blest eternity of joy, at the right hand of God. The thought is delightful. What will the joy be?—Hold out faith and patience.

Yours, truly, J. C.

LETTER XXVII.

“Like these good figs, will I acknowledge them that are carried away captive of Judah, whom I have sent out of this place into the land of the Chaldeans, for their good.”

To —

The eventful history of the church of Israel is very striking and important. Loved, chosen in Egypt, delivered, brought into a desert wilderness; yet maintained miraculously, screened, preserved, brought through the Jordan of trouble into the promised land; enemies falling before them; privileged with the symbols of the Divine presence, and kept by Divine power.

How very important is the language of Moses on this subject. He found him in a desert land, and in a waste howling wilderness; he led him about; he instructed him; he kept him as the apple of his eye; but, alas! what a rebellious, unbelieving, perverse, fretful, and ungrateful people, prone to idolatry, negligent, and disobedient: such, alas! am I.

Reader, what say you of your own heart? Is it not too much your case? After all that God hath done for you, have you not cause, as well as me, to take shame and confusion of face to yourself? On this account God resented the idolatry of that people. Invaded by the Assyrians, and at last led away captive to Babylon. This last was an awful blow to them: yet they were commanded to submit to the stroke; and those who did not, were to perish in some awful way, which they did, as related in the prophecy of Jeremiah. But those that escaped the sword were ordered to go and submit to God’s sentence, by bowing to the king of Babylon’s yoke. The Lord promised to be a little sanctuary to them, even in their captivity; and hence, although they suffered such privations, the Lord was with them; supported, kept, preserved, and blest them there. Surely I discover the analogy; I have been dealt with in a similar way. I mention it to my own shame and the glory of Divine goodness, which I have experienced all my days; and especially in my captivity. Although my troubles were small, considering my situation, yet my mind was very frequently racked with my affairs without. Some only came to visit me out of mere curiosity; others to mortify my feelings; quite forgetting the Divine prohibition—“Oppress not the poor, nor the afflicted in the gate.”

Some of the preachers who occupied the pulpit were very treacherous; and one poor creature had the daring impudence to declare the Lord had often told him, that I should never return to preach in that pulpit again—but it is evident he was a lying prophet, as I have preached in that pulpit and place above 1200 times in less than four years since. We had many such prophets and prophetesses, but, as they ran without being sent, they soon ran themselves out of breath.

Fearing I should die, I set my house in the best order I could. To those of whom I was obliged to borrow money in trouble, I sent or willed an equivalent, which eased my mind, and gave them satisfaction. My family was also disposed of; my eldest daughter was with her mother-in-law, assisting her, and receiving education and domestic improvement. My youngest was in the care of the very dear and kind friends, who had brought her up free of expence to me; which is friendship indeed—the most pure and disinterested, perhaps, to be found in this lower world. My eldest son was at boarding-school, comfortably maintained; and my dear afflicted boy, well known to you, and beloved by all that knew him was principally in the care of our old and faithful servant, at home.

I remember reading of good Mr. Bunyan, while in prison; how his poor mind was at times troubled about his family, especially his dear blind daughter; but the Lord supported them all, till his deliverance. Thus the Lord dealt kindly with me, in this instance, although I shed thousands of tears about them.

Some severe trials came on me shortly after my incarceration in this valley of Achor. The recognizances had not been withdrawn from the court; and, as I was paying the debt of the law, no acquaintance of mine knew any thing about such an affair—and as my solicitor, I should suppose, must have known the rules of the Court of King’s Bench, I was grieved he did not attend to this essential point, as I gave him ten pounds, only two days before my confinement, to settle all matters in the court, which he neglected to do; the consequence was, the gentlemen who were bail for me, were troubled for the money: this really hurt my feelings worse than all the troubles I had met with—but an able attorney made application to the court, and settled it with very little expence. I judge it expedient that I should mention this, to give information to any that may fall into like circumstances; for I really knew no more of law than the servant of the prophet knew of botany, when he gathered his lap full of wild gourds, and had nearly poisoned the whole school. 2 Kings, iv. 39. Soon after this, another trouble arose amongst the congregation, about the place of worship; and here were many contentions. My sincere friends, fearing some persons were laying plans to get it out of my hands, and, for want of understanding each other, a great deal of warmth was manifested on both sides. These things being daily brought to me, exceedingly troubled my spirit; but, after praying, these words came with power to my soul—“They shall not build, and another inhabit.” And, as the subject was much on my mind in the day, it was not to be wondered at that it should affect me in the night; as I one night dreamed of a chariot, which I had often dreamt of before—as it passed by me, I saw, on the back of it, in very large letters, “Immanuel! God with us!” When I awoke, I felt a holy confidence all would be well upon that business, and so if proved the night before, but I knew it not till next day at noon. What a mercy to be enabled to call on the Lord in every time of trouble, and to watch his good hand. But I was no sooner released from this anxiety, than a fresh trouble arose. A gentleman who had been, till this time, almost a stranger to myself and the church, was raised up of God, in this hour of need, to look after my outward affairs, and this he did freely and kindly; he was truly assiduous, nor did he spare any pains, time, trouble, or money to do me good; and, though God had been pleased to remove others, on whom I depended, he mercifully raised up one to act as a friend, whom I hardly knew. Like Nicodemus, who could not, or dare not, scarcely own the Saviour in his life, yet paid him honours at his death.

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” This old, but just adage, reminds me of what school-boys are taught—

“Tell me, ye knowing and discerning few, Where I may find the friend that’s firm and true; Who dare stand by me, when in deep distress, And then his love and friendship most express.”

This friend, in the height of his praise-worthy conduct, was very shamefully imposed upon by an artful villain, who professed to have great influence with the higher powers—and by this means he, at different times, obtained a large sum of money of him, under the specious pretext of obtaining my liberation. This was carried on for some months, till Mr. D. began to suspect there was some villainy in it; and, upon enquiry at the Secretary of State’s Office, found it as he feared. The base character was apprehended, and justly imprisoned for it. This was another severe blow to me, taking all the circumstances into the account; yet the pleasing hopes of liberty wore away many tedious months, till patience received strength.

I was, at times, amazed at the health of body the Lord favoured me with; but the winter came on, at first, very severe, though it did not last long.—This was to me very dreadful; it was the gloomy month of November. Another trial came. A person, in real kindness, at my request, brought me a very small portion of liquor, on one of those days in which we may truly say we have pleasure—foggy, cold, damp, and miserable. I knew, indeed, it was contrary to the laws of the place, but urgent necessity compelled me to send for it. This being discovered, my poor friend was brought into trouble, and a heavy fine was levied. You may be sure this made a fresh stir in the public papers, with many additions, though not one true statement of the fact was made; but that passed away like a cloud. That which most distressed me was the solemn and awful times of execution; but those, however, were very few, two of which I have given an account of in the 1st volume of “The Voice of Faith.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXVIII.

“And the king said unto Zadok, carry back the ark of God into the city. If I shall find favour in the eyes of the Lord, he will bring me again, and shew we both it and his habitation.”

To —

It is a truth, easily proved, that every believer has more mercies to be thankful for, than he has either sins to regret, or troubles to bear: it is of the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed. This I call to mind, therefore I have hope. They are new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness. That same faithful God which preserved Israel in Egypt, Moses in Midian, David in Gath, the three worthies in the furnace, Daniel in the den, the disciples in Jerusalem, and the church in Babylon, preserved me in this place. I cannot look back upon my many mercies but with gratitude. But where will the growing numbers end? This subject would fill a vast volume; but, in brief, I mention only a few:—the attention and kindness of the governor and officers; and, although every returning Sabbath afflicted my mind severely, the very sound of the church-going bells, brought a thousand pangs to my heart: yet I was relieved by hearing the real gospel preached nearly every Sunday, once a day, by the excellent chaplain, the rev. Mr. Mann. Oh, that every college was as much blessed with such preaching. This was no small mercy. All within the walls were submissive and attentive to me. I had an opportunity of conversing with many on the best of subjects, and was well furnished with ability to alleviate many a distressed mind, and to relieve some hundreds in their temporal calamities; for it is to little purpose talking about religion to worldlings, without acts of benevolence.

Numerous friends daily visited me, and never failed me, during the long period of seven hundred and thirty days. My health was re-established, and I had much time for reading, prayer, self-examination, and study. Here I received many tokens of love from the Lord, bearing witness, with my spirit, that I was interested in his love. Here I wrote a vast many letters to the church and to my friends. I wrote also my “Farewell Sermon;” “Antinomianism Refuted;” “The Voice of Faith,” 2 vols.; “A Treatise on part of the Book of Proverbs,” the greatest part of my own Memoirs, and other subjects, which I hope, one day, to publish.

The dear friends who came to see me, I constantly bore in mind, and thanked them in a few gingling rhymes, as I am destitute of a talent for writing poetry: I hope they will forgive me inserting their names; nor need they fear persecution on this account, because so many individuals are to be found bearing the same name.

I employed as much time as circumstances would admit, in reading to the prisoners the Scriptures, which I at times endeavoured to explain, particularly on Sundays. I read part of the church service, and other good books, especially some tracts by Mr. Smith, of Penzance—his “Bob and James,”—there being many sailors present. In this act I copied the example of Dr. Primrose, in the Vicar of Wakefield, although I had a little better place, company, behaviour, and attention. I must insert a quotation from it. The old gentleman says, after some conversation with his family—

“I left them, and descended to the common prison, where I found the prisoners very merry, expecting my arrival; and each prepared with some gaol trick to play upon the doctor. Thus, as I was going to begin, one turned my wig awry, as if by accident, and then asked my pardon. A second, who stood at a distance, had a knack of spitting through his teeth, which fell in showers upon my book; a third would cry ‘amen,’ in such an affected tone, as gave the others great delight. A fourth had slily picked my pocket of my spectacles: but there was one whose tricks gave more universal pleasure than all the rest; for, observing the manner in which I had disposed my books on the table before me, he very dexterously displaced one of them, and put an obscene jest-book of his own in the place. However, I took no notice of all that this mischievous group of little beings could do, but went on, perfectly sensible that what was ridiculous in my attempt would excite mirth only the first or second time, while what was serious would be permanent. My design succeeded; and, in less than six days, some were penitent, and all attentive.”

Thus my time rolled away, and appeared, as our lives do in the retrospect, but as a tale that is told every moment, and every circumstance being told out in eternity for us.

The period arrived for me to quit my solitary mansion, and make my appearance again in public. This was dreaded by me, on some accounts, but, by others, much desired. Every thing was well arranged, and the morning came; a part of my family and a few friends came to meet me; every thing around appeared at first very strange. When I arrived at my house, I bent my knees in thanksgiving to that gracious God who had restored me.

In the evening I preached to nearly one thousand hearers, who were very quiet, attentive, and gratified. All united, with one heart and voice, in singing

“Crown him Lord of all.”

I preached on, “But God meant it unto good.” The sermon was afterwards printed. I commenced my regular labours the Sunday following, where without cessation, I have continued them six times a week. Curiosity has, doubtless, drawn forth the attention of thousands, since then, to hear and see the strange being: many have heard to profit, and are satisfied. Some said, he is a good man; others, he is a devil. I say he is both, and I can prove it. Some say, he is a guilty man; others, that he is innocent—but I say he is both, and the reader will say the same, if he knows his own heart, and his acceptance in Christ.

Beloved, if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our hearts, and knoweth all things; but, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence towards God.

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXIX.

“For better is a neighbour that is near, than a brother that is far off.”

To —

It is a good remark I have somewhere met with—that friendship is a plant of too delicate a nature to grow with any great degree of luxuriancy and fruitfulness in the soil of the human heart; but I ever wish to prize its buds, its blossoms, its fruit, its very leaves; but, above all, its divine root. We may find many profess much kindness in the warmth of prosperity; but these summer insects, like butterflies, disappear when the cold blasts of adversity and reproach strike off a few of our outward comforts. But while this is to be lamented, yet God has often raised up those who have been sincere in their professions of attachment to his people, in all ages, and who have firmly stood by them, and gave them all the assistance they were able, in the depth of their afflictions; nor have they been unrewarded, at least, many of them, even in this world—nor shall they be forgotten of the Lord in the last day.—Matt. xxv. and close.

Abraham had three faithful friends, Aner, Eschol, and Mamre. The Lord raised up a friend for Joseph in trouble, and for David in his deep affliction, and for the great apostle for whom he prays—that he, Onesiphorus, may find mercy in that day, for he hath oft refreshed me, and was not ashamed of my chain. Such friends are the gift of the Friend of Sinners, and such friendship is a part of conformity to his image; praying for one another in secret; reproving with meekness, but fidelity, when permitted to err; speaking well of each other, when absent, and helping each other in trouble, are the genuine fruits of divine love in the heart; and such I have found many: and, although opposed for their candour, affection, and liberality; yet, considering they had a just right to form an opinion of their own, so they had as much right to maintain the same. Narrow minds who form opinions by bare report, are easily biassed, and generally bigotted; of course, such mean souls must persecute all who differ from them. This is the case in the professing world, at present; and it is much to be lamented. However, I have made free to inform you of some of those who have acted in a Christ-like manner to me in trouble, and have too much good sense to view me either as a perfect angel, or an incarnate devil; and to you I send these gingling rhymes:—

REAL FRIENDSHIP. From Achor Vale.—1818.

Do not you think, in a few years time, I shall be as apt a poet, as good old Bunyan?

Please to regularly regulate these irregular irregularities.

I cannot conclude this letter without reminding you of the apostolic exhortation—“As we have opportunity, let us do good unto all men, but especially to the household of faith;” and if to this household we sow sparingly, we shall reap sparingly; and if we sow bountifully, we shall reap bountifully; and on this subject of kindness to God’s children, as such, our dear Lord declares—“He that receiveth a prophet, in the name of a prophet, shall receive a prophet’s reward; and he that receiveth a righteous man, in the name of a righteous man, shall receive a righteous man’s reward; and whosoever shall give unto one of these little ones a cup of cold water only, in the name of a disciple, verily I say unto you, he shall, in no wise, lose his reward.”—Matthew, x. 41, 42. And, very frequently, such are rewarded in this world, in temporal mercies, for the kindness they have shewn to the members of Christ. The widow of Sarepta, nourished the Prophet Elijah in her house, during the whole time of famine; and how did the Lord abundantly recompence her, by daily increasing her oil and meal, whereby her family was preserved; by restoring her son to life again, after his soul was departed; and by causing the prophet to continue with her many months, to feed her soul with spiritual, as she had his body with temporal food? How abundantly did the Lord recompence the Shunamite’s kindness to Elisha, by the gift of a child, after long barrenness; by restoring her son to life again; by forewarning her of approaching famine; and by restoring all she had lost by her long absence—her house and lands? God had blest Job with a merciful heart; and he relates what the Lord had enabled him to do—chap. xxix. and xxxi. And, although afterwards he was stripped of all he possessed, to answer the wise and gracious ends of God towards him; yet, we read, chap. xlii. that the Lord turned the captivity of Job, and gave him twice as much as he had before, and blessed his latter end more than his beginning. In the history of the apostle, Paul, we read of one Publius, Acts, xxviii. the chief man of the island of Malta, (where the apostle and many others were cast by shipwreck;) this kind man received Paul and his companions, and lodged them courteously. We read, soon afterwards, how the father of Publius, laying desperately sick of a fever and bloody flux, was recovered by St. Paul, and restored to his former health. So, likewise, the kindness which the barbarous people of that island shewed unto Paul and his fellow travellers, was recompensed with the cure of many of their sick bodies.

A thousand other instances might be produced, of ancient and of modern date. And, supposing no reward is experienced in this world, the God of truth has declared—“Thou shalt be recompensed in the resurrection of the just.” This is evident in the close of Matthew, xxv.—“Inasmuch as ye did it unto the least of these, my brethren, ye did it unto me.”—No doubt the cruel tongue of fallen man may criticise and censure such conduct, but, acting from a motive of Bible love, such persons will meet with their reward: envy, detraction and cruelty is in the heart and conduct of thousands, but woe unto him by whom the offence, the slander, cometh—it had been better for him if he had never been born. But what are those whose tongues are worlds of iniquity, and whose teeth are swords and spears? As saith the Poet—

—“No, ’tis slander; Whose edge is sharper than the sword; whose tongue Outvenoms all the worms of Nile; whose breath Rides on the posting winds, and doth belie All corners of the world: kings, queens, and states, Maids, matrons, nay, the secrets of the grave This viperous slander enters.”

But the Redeemer saith—“And blessed is he that is not offended in me.”

Yours, J. C.

LETTER XXX.

“And thou shalt remember all the way the Lord thy God hath led thee in the wilderness, these forty years, to prove thee and to humble thee.”

To —

Having complied with your request, in stating the brief account of myself, in infancy, youth, and manhood, a few of the ups and downs, ins and outs, turnings and windings, in a way of providence.—I can but look back with gratitude to that Divine hand that has led me, and kept, supported, upheld, and blest me. Having obtained needed but undeserved help, I continue to this day. For all my errors in life I take shame and confusion of face; and for all the mercies I have experienced, which I am sensible of, and the unnumbered mercies which I never apprehended; I bow my knees to the God of all grace, and say, “Not unto me, not unto me, but to thy name be all the glory.” And what can I say more? It well becometh the just to be thankful. Gratitude, blessing, and praise is the sacrifice of the heart and lips, which is due to God. The Lord be pleased to maintain this spirit in our minds. Gratitude is sometimes excited and led out by the retrospect we take of the Lord’s dealings with us, and discerning his love and wisdom in all his dispensations, however gloomy for the time; yet we can see it was right, uniform, though various. The blessed design towards us is to humble, try, and prove us, that we may know what is in our hearts; both to lament and to be thankful for, and that we may know the love of God’s heart towards us.

I have stated but a few of the many great things the Lord hath done for me; and no doubt many friends wish I had omitted some things which I have related, and had been a little more explicit on others. I may also see these improprieties myself, and correct them in my next edition.

I now proceed to give a short account of my spiritual experience, which I trust, will be a little more edifying than the former part of this little work. May the great Head of the Church make it so to his own children; and, if they reap the least benefit by reading, God shall have the praise. While I remain,

Yours, J. C.

END OF PART I.