[p5] THE EMPEROR’S ROUT.

As the Emperor Moth¹ sat one evening in May, Fanned by numberless wings in the moon’s silver ray, [p6] While around him the zephyrs breathed sweetest perfume, Thus he spoke to his dwarf with the Ragged white plume:² “That vain Butterfly’s Ball, I hear, was most splendid, And, as the world says, very fully attended, Though she never asked us, but assigned as a cause, We were all much too heavy to gallope and waltz. What impertinence this, want of grace to ascribe To the Lord of the whole Lepidopterous tribe; I too’ll give a ball, and such folks to chastise, I’ll not be at home to these pert butterflies. [p7] Bid the Empress³ come hither, and we’ll talk about What arrangements to make for a capital rout.” [p6a] M. Gauci del^t. Printed by C. Motte 23. Leicester Sq^re. THE INVITATION. The Empress obeyed her lord’s summons with speed, And proceeded her visiting tablets to read, That those of her subjects, whose homage was booked In that coveted record, might not be o’erlooked. Then the Bufftip⁴ began to write each moth a card, Having one for herself just by way of reward. “First ask,” says the Emperor, “the Glory of Kent,⁵ On having much beauty my mind is quite bent; [p8] The Belle, too, of Brixton,⁶ the Marvel du Jour,⁷ And the Peach-blossom⁸ moth you’ll invite, I am sure; The Sphinx⁹ too, shall come, who makes riddles so well, And the Gipsey¹⁰ be ready our fortunes to tell; [p9] Mother Shipton¹¹ shall chap’rone the lovely Black I,¹² And those awkward Greek girls, Lambda,¹³ Gamma,¹⁴ and Chi;¹⁵ Hebrew Character,¹⁶ too, who for routs has a passion; And I’ll ask Mrs. Gothic,¹⁷ though she’s out of fashion, [p10] For I love my old friends, and had rather that they Should partake of our feast, than the idle and gay, Who flutter about without object or reason, Just live for an hour, and last but a season.” How little, alas! do great moths bear in mind, That their tenure of life is of just the same kind. “You’re right,” said the Empress, “and truly ’twere shabby, T’exclude from our party poor old Mrs. Tabby,¹⁸ [p11] And the Rustics¹⁹ I’ll ask, though not one has a gown In which to appear, save of black, grey, or brown; And some of them go, too, so feathered and flounced, That the Coxcomb²⁰ called Prominent, on them pronounced A sentence of censure, quite just, but so tart, That I felt, when I heard it, quite cut to the heart. [p12] But now to proceed, Sire, the Leopard²¹ I vote, Be razed from our list, with that ugly old Goat,²² Who in youth made such terrible use of his jaws, That I dread, I confess, e’en the sight of his claws; And as to his muscles, ’tis said that when counted, To four thousand and just forty-one they amounted; [p13] Of Musk too, I’m told, he sheds such perfume, That wherever he goes, he fills the whole room. Exclude him we will, with the old Dromedary,²³ The Elephant²⁴ cunning, and Fox²⁵ too, so wary, [p14] That though I don’t know it for certain, I’m told They cheat at Ecarté, like Hermes of old. [p14a] M. Gauci del^t. Printed by C. Motte 23. Leicester Sq^re. THE DEATH’S HEAD MOTH. The Ghost²⁶ and Death’s head,²⁷ and that terrible host, Would but scare all the guests”—Here the Emperor lost, [p15] For a moment, his patience, and cried to his spouse, “If thus you proceed, ma’am, my anger you’ll rouse. Like th’ Egyptians of old, I’ll have at my feast A figure of death, or his cross-bones at least, To remind all our guests of the limited span That to moths is allotted, as well as to man, And how e’en in the midst of enjoyment’s gay hour, We are still in death’s stern and inflexible power. So let them have cards, and I’ll go and prepare For receiving our friends, the best possible fare.” [p16] The Monarch then went with the Eyed Hawk,²⁸ his scout, To search for a spot fit for giving his rout; A green ring he found, the work of a fairy, And thinking it looked both commodious and airy, He called to him Brimstone²⁹ to measure the ground, For another Geometra³⁰ could not be found; [p17] Of this workman he knew the correctness full well, What he wrought was as nice as if done by a spell. The spot was judged proper, and erected in haste Were some well fashioned rooms, which displayed his good taste. Carpet Moths³¹ were appointed to stencil the floor, The Clothes Moths³² with gossamer covered the door; [p18] Mahogany³³ and Wainscot³⁴ were neither deficient In offering their aid, which proved most efficient, While Veneers,³⁵ both rosy and yellow, were able T’improve, by their help, the decayed supper table. For the crockery, China Mark³⁶ promised to strive, And Galleria³⁷ offered to steal from a hive, [p19] Profusion of honey; Pinguinalis³⁸ brought butter, And with wax Cereana³⁹ came all in a flutter. These presents the Emperor gladly accepted, Save Galleria’s theft, which with scorn was rejected, So little do moths of great minds patronise The base who by fraud or extortion would rise. In the mean time the Empress her Swifts⁴⁰ had sent out To deliver the cards for this elegant rout. [p20] Puss⁴¹ sent an excuse, with the Kitten⁴² engaged, And the Eggar,⁴³ poor lady, was highly enraged That her numerous offspring requiring her care, Prevented her joining a party so rare. [p21] The Burnets,⁴⁴ Brown Pinioned,⁴⁵ the Dingy Brocades,⁴⁶ The Black Raven Feather,⁴⁷ and sweet Angle Shades,⁴⁸ Had promised that day with the Tussock⁴⁹ to dine, A lady of fashion, whose hour was nine; But when they received their dread sovereign’s command, They yielded to custom’s imperious demand, [p22] For moths with us mortals in this do agree, That all parties must bow to a monarch’s decree. Lady Lappet⁵⁰ being ill, the Poplar Lutestring⁵¹ The two Misses Nonpareil⁵² promised to bring; And the Spectacle Moth,⁵³ too near sighted to go, Sent his ward the Bright Eye,⁵⁴ with the Flame Furbelow,⁵⁵ [p23] Whose young lover, the beautiful, brave Unicorn,⁵⁶ Had been shot in a duel with the Red Striped Hawthorn.⁵⁷ Not quite fit to appear, the gallant Swallow Tail⁵⁸ At the doctors with anger continued to rail, [p24] He having been lamed by the awkward Bulrush,⁵⁹ To the serious alarm of the fair Maiden’s Blush.⁶⁰ The day now arrived, and at nine of the night, The glow-worm being hired the highways to light, The guests ’gan to assemble, and each was announced By the Herald,⁶¹ who loudly their names all pronounced. The Ermine,⁶² a lady of noble degree, Introduced a long train of her large family; [p25] Some in Muslin,⁶³ some Satin,⁶⁴ were chastely arrayed, While the Emerald,⁶⁵ the Pearl,⁶⁶ and the Mocha⁶⁷ displayed Their jewels so costly, that poor Burnished Brass⁶⁸ Unnoticed was suffered the evening to pass. [p26] From the banks of the Niger the Blackamoor⁶⁹ brought A fat Moor,⁷⁰ who presented a Tyger⁷¹ just caught; An old Gentlewoman⁷² had promised to bring A musical Miss, who divinely could sing, But whose fair head, no larger than that of a Dot,⁷³ Was filled with the thought of a True Lover’s Knot;⁷⁴ [p27] So she hem’d and she ha’d, then unblushingly told, How she caught as she came a most violent cold, And felt such oppression and pain in her throat, That she scarcely dared venture to utter a note; And thus with most Misses of human creation, How often their colds are but mere affectation. The dancing began, and soft music was heard, Provided, ’twas said, by the sweet Humming Bird.⁷⁵ Old Colonel Gold Spangle,⁷⁶ his dancing days past, Volunteered with good humour the dances to cast; [p28] To the forward Miss Portland⁷⁷ Captain Christian⁷⁸ he brought, Who, aided by Mars, the young lady had caught, For moths, like their betters, as I have been told, Are mightily taken with scarlet and gold. The Foresters⁷⁹ danced, arrayed all in green, [p29] With the Clear Wings,⁸⁰ whose beauty gave life to the scene; The Mouse,⁸¹ quite enamoured, entreated in vain The hand of the lovely Pease Blossom⁸² to gain, And the Satellite,⁸³ though he till now had sat still, Made up to the Seraph⁸⁴ to dance a quadrille. [p30] The Quakers,⁸⁵ who ne’er had been seen at a ball, With the Coronets⁸⁶ galloped around the great hall, And the sad Mourning Widow,⁸⁷ her weeds put away, To waltz with the lustrous Japan,⁸⁸ now quite gay; While the Magpie⁸⁹ obtained universal applause, By fluttering a hornpipe upon his hind claws. [p31] The Vapourer⁹⁰ came not, but he was no loss, For wherever he went he was stupid and cross; And his wife, an old dowdy, bereft of all wings, Was unfit to appear as th’ associate of Kings; The Dagger⁹¹ came armed, and looked all around, But his charmer, Miss Snout,⁹² was no where to be found, [p32] For she had not been asked, and the Figure of Eight,⁹³ With his cousin, the Sprawler,⁹⁴ joined the party so late, That morn was forth peeping, and the dancing had done, When Spring Usher⁹⁵ announced the young beautiful Nun.⁹⁶ [p33] The Gnomana⁹⁷ now indexed the hour of four, The guests were assembled around the great door, Which the Lacqueys⁹⁸ threw open, and each in his rank Found a seat for himself, and they all ate and drank With a relish that would not disgrace the Guildhall, (To compare for a moment such great things with small,) Where London’s Lord Mayor and his Aldermen deign To feast upon turtle, and tipple champagne. [p34] Old Drinker,⁹⁹ the butler, of wine served the best, And a Footman¹⁰⁰ was placed at the chair of each guest, In orange, in yellow, or black coats dressed out, For their liveries, ’twas said, were all made for the rout, The Emperor began mirth and glee to inspire, When a loud cry was heard, of “the chimney’s on fire;” All started in fear from the table to learn If the house was in flames, or likely to burn; [p35] Each snatched up a candle, so left the room dark, And the moment was seized by the Chamomile Shark¹⁰¹ To plunder the table. The Yorkshire Magpie¹⁰² Strove also with his share of booty to fly, But was stopped by the Lacqueys, who then in a trice Demolished themselves every thing that was nice. [p34a] M. Gauci del^t. Printed by C. Motte 23. Leicester Sq^re. THE ALARM. ’Midst this glorious confusion a mischievous Pug¹⁰³ Contrived of the claret to empty each jug, But not unperceived by young Miss Exclamation,¹⁰⁴ [p36] Who by her loud cries caused immense consternation. Meanwhile came the Sweep,¹⁰⁵ with the Chimney Sweep’s Boy,¹⁰⁶ And two other Assistants,¹⁰⁷ who ran to employ Every means they could think of to put out the flame, In which they succeeded, and found that the blame Belonged to the Housewife,¹⁰⁸ who had thrown in the fire Some grease, which occasioned the accident dire. [p37] The guests in a panic had now left alone The Emperor and Empress their ills to bemoan. Said the Empress, “My dear, let us never more try With the Butterflies’ party so vainly to vie; For what with the heat, the fatigue, and the fright, I never before passed so trying a night; I would not again undergo the vexation Of such a soirée, for the wealth of a nation.” “With you I agree,” the sage Emperor replied, Who deemed it a lesson to cure them of pride; [p38] “And I trust that the thread of our lives will spin out, Ere we ever again attempt such a rout. Alas! we must own we were never designed To flit in the sunshine, or soar on the wind; Nature’s changeless decree has allotted its share To each beast of the field, to each bird of the air, To each reptile that creeps, to each insect that flies; And who dares to rebel against nature but dies?”