OF VALENTINES.

t was the merie moneth of Februarie, When yong men, in their iollie roguerie°, Rose earelie in the morne fore° breake of daie, 4To seeke them valentines soe trimme and gaie°;

With whom they maie consorte in summer sheene°, And dance the haidegaies° on our toune-greene, As alas at Easter°, or at Pentecost, 8Perambulate° the fields that flourish most; [page 4] And goe to som village abbordring° neere, To taste the creame and cakes° and such good cheere; Or° see a playe of strange moralitie, 12Shewen by Bachelrie of Maningtree°. Where to, the contrie franklins° flock-meale swarme, And Jhon and Jone com° marching arme in arme. Euen on the hallowes of that blessed Saint° 16That doeth true louers° with those ioyes acquaint, I went, poore pilgrime, to my ladies° shrine, To see if she would be my valentine°; But woe, alass°, she was not to be found, 20For she was shifted to an upper° ground: Good Justice Dudgeon-haft, and crab-tree face°, With bills and staues had scar'd hir° from the place; [page 5] And now she was compel'd, for Sanctuarie°, 24To flye unto a house of venerie°. Thither went I, and bouldlie made enquire° If they had hackneis° to lett-out to hire, And what they crau'd°, by order of their trade, 28To lett one ride a iournie on a iade. Therwith out stept a foggy three-chinnd dame°, That us'd to take yong° wenches for to tame, And ask't° me if I ment as I profest, 32Or onelie ask't° a question but in iest. "In iest?" quoth I; "that terme it° as you will; I com for game, therefore give me my Jill°." "Why Sir," quoth shee, "if that be your demande°, 36Com, laye me a Gods-pennie° in my hand; [page 6] For, in our oratorie siccarlie°, None enters heere, to doe his nicarie°, But he must paye his offertorie° first, 40And then, perhaps, wee'le° ease him of his thirst." I, hearing hir° so ernest for the box, Gave hir hir° due, and she the dore unlocks. In am I entered:° "venus be my speede! 44But where's this female° that must do this deed"? By blinde meanders, and by crankled° wayes, Shee leades me onward, (as my Aucthor saies°), Vntill we came within a shadie° loft 48Where venus bounsing vestalls skirmish° oft; And there shee sett me in a leather chaire°, And brought me forth, of prettie Trulls°, a paire, [page 7] To chuse of them which might content myne° eye; 52But hir I sought, I could nowhere espie°. I spake them faire, and wisht them° well to fare— "Yet° soe yt is, I must haue fresher ware; Wherefore, dame Bawde, as daintie as you bee°, 56Fetch gentle mistris Francis forth to° me." "By Halliedame°," quoth she, "and Gods oune mother, I well perceaue you are a wylie° brother; For if there be a morsell of more° price, 60You'll smell it out, though I be nare so° nice. As you desire, so shall you swiue with hir°, But think, your purse-strings shall abye-it deare°; For, he that will eate quailes must lauish crounes°, 64And Mistris Francis, in her veluett gounes°, And ruffs and perwigs as fresh as Maye°, Can not be kept with half a croune° a daye." [page 8] "Of price, good hostess°, we will not debate, 68Though° you assize me at the highest rate; Onelie conduct me to this bonnie° bell. And tenne good gobbs I will unto thee tell°, Of golde or siluer, which shall lyke thee° best, 72So much doe I hir companie° request." Awaie° she went: so sweete a thing is golde, That (mauger) will inuade° the strongest holde. "Hey-ho! she coms, that hath my hearte in keepe° 76Sing Lullabie, my cares, and falle a-sleepe°." Sweeping she coms°, as she would brush the ground; Hir ratling silkes my sences doe confound°. "Oh, I am rauisht: voide the chamber streight°; 80For I must neede's upon hir° with my weight." [page 9] "My Tomalin," quoth shee, and then she smilde°. "I, I," quoth I, "soe more men are beguild° With smiles, with flatt'ring wordes, and fained cheere°, 84When in their deedes their falsehood doeth appeare°." "As how, my lambkin," blushing, she replide°, "Because I in this dancing° schoole abide? If that it be, that breede's this° discontent, 88We will remoue the camp° incontinent: For shelter onelie, sweete heart, came° I hither, And to auoide the troblous stormie° weather; But now the coaste is cleare, we will° be gonne, 92Since, but thy self, true louer° I haue none." With that she sprung full lightlie to my lips°, And fast about the neck me colle's, and clips°; [page 10] She wanton faints°, and falle's vpon hir bedd, 96And often tosseth° too and fro hir head; She shutts hir eyes°, and waggles with her tongue: "Oh, who is able to abstaine so long?°" "I com! I com! sweete lyning be° thy leaue:" 100Softlie my fingers up theis curtaine heaue°, And make me happie, stealing by degreese°. First bare hir leggs, then creepe up to hir kneese°; From thence ascend unto her mannely° thigh— 104(A pox on lingring when I am so° nighe!). Smock, climbe° a-pace, that I maie see my ioyes; Oh heauen and paradize are all° but toyes Compar'd with this sight I now° behould, 108Which well might keepe a man from being olde. A prettie rysing wombe without a weame°, That shone as bright as anie siluer streame°; [page 11] And bare out like the bending of an° hill, 112At whose decline a fountaine dwelleth still°; That hath his mouth besett with uglie bryers°, Resembling much a duskie nett of wyres°; A loftie buttock, barrd with azure veines°, 116Whose comelie swelling, when my hand distreines°, Or wanton checketh with a harmlesse stype°, It makes the fruites of loue oftsoone° be rype, And pleasure pluckt too tymelie from the stemme° 120To dye ere it hath seene Jerusalem°. O Gods! that euer anie thing so° sweete, So suddenlie should fade awaie°, and fleete! Hir armes are spread, and I am all unarm'd°, 124Lyke one with Ouid's cursed hemlocke charm'd°; So are my Limms unwealdlie for the fight° That spend their strength in thought of hir° delight. [page 12] What shall I doe to shewe my self a man? 128It will not be for ought that beawtie can°. I kisse, I clap, I feele°, I view at will, Yett dead he lyes°, not thinking good or ill. "Unhappie me," quoth shee, "and wilt' not stand?° 132Com, lett me rubb and chafe° it with my hand! Perhaps the sillie worme is labour'd° sore, And wearied that it can° doe noe more; If it be so, as I am greate a-dread°, 136I wish tenne thousand times that I were° dead. How ere it is, no meanes shall want° in me, That maie auaile to his recouerie°." Which saide, she tooke and rould it on hir thigh°, 140And when she look't on't, she would weepe and sighe;° She dandled it, and dancet it up and doune°, Not ceasing till she rais'd it from his swoune°. [page 13] And then he flue on hir as he° were wood, 144And on hir breeche did hack and foyne° a-good; He rub'd, and prickt, and pierst her° to the bones, Digging as farre as eath° he might for stones; Now high, now lowe, now stryking° shorte and thicke; 148Now dyuing deepe, he toucht hir° to the quicke; Now with a gird° he would his course rebate, Straite would he take him to a statlie° gate; Plaie while him list, and thrust he neare so° hard, 152Poore pacient Grissill lyeth at hir warde°, And giue's, and takes, as blythe and free° as Maye, And ere-more meete's him in the midle° waye. On him hir eyes continualy° were fixt; 156With hir eye-beames his melting looke's° were mixt, Which, like the Sunne, that twixt two glasses plaies°, From one to th' other cast's rebounding° rayes. [page 14] He, lyke a starre that, to reguild° his beames 160Sucks-in the influence of Phebus° streames, Imbathes the lynes of his descending° light In the bright fountaines of hir clearest sight°. She, faire as fairest Planet° in the skye, 164Hir puritie° to noe man doeth denye; The verie chamber that enclouds° her shine Lookes lyke the pallace of that God deuine°, Who leades the daie about the Zodiake°, 168And euerie euen discends to th'oceane° lake; So fierce and feruent is her radiance°, Such fyrie stakes she darts at euerie glance° As might enflame the icie limmes° of age, 172And make pale death his seignedrie to aswage;° To stand and gaze upon her orient lamps°, Where Cupid all his chiefest ioyes encamps°, [page 15] And sitts, and playes with euery atomie° 176That in hir Sunne-beames swarme aboundantlie. Thus gazing, and thus striuing, we perseuer°: But what so firme that maie continue euer?° "Oh not so fast," my rauisht Mistriss cryes°, 180"Leaste my content, that on° thy life relyes, Be brought too-soone from his delightfull seate°, And me unwares of hoped bliss defeate°. Together lett us marche unto content°, 184And be consumed with one blandishment°." As she prescrib'd so kept we crotchet-time°, And euerie stroake in ordre lyke a chyme°, Whilst she, that had preseru'd me by hir pittie°, 188Unto our musike fram'd a groaning dittie°. [page 16] "Alass! alass! that loue should be a sinne! Euen now my blisse and sorrowe doeth° beginne. Hould wyde thy lapp, my louelie° Danae, 192And entretaine the golden shoure so free°, That trikling falles° into thy treasurie. As Aprill-drops not half so° pleasant be, Nor Nilus overflowe to Ægipt plaines° 196As this sweet-streames that all hir ioints imbaynes°. With "Oh!" and "Oh!" she itching moues hir hipps°, And to and fro full lightlie starts and skips°: She ierkes hir leggs, and sprauleth° with hir heeles; 200No tongue maie tell the solace° that she feeles, "I faint! I yeald! Oh, death! rock me° a-sleepe! Sleepe! sleepe desire! entombed° in the deepe!" "Not so, my deare," my dearest saint° replyde, 204"For, from us yett, thy spirit maie° not glide [page 17] Untill the sinnowie channels° of our blood Without their source from this imprisoned° flood; And then will we (that then will com too° soone), 208Dissolued lye, as though our dayes were donne." The whilst I speake, my soule is fleeting° hence, And life forsakes his fleshie° residence. Staie, staie sweete ioye, and leaue me not forlorne 212Why shouldst thou fade that art but newelie borne? "Staie but an houre, an houre° is not so much: But half an houre; if that° thy haste is such, Naie, but a quarter—I will aske no more— 216That thy departure (which torments me sore), Maie be alightned with a little pause°, And take awaie this passions sudden° cause." He heare's me not; hard-harted as he is, 220He is the sonne of Time, and hates my blisse. Time nere looke's backe, the riuers nere returne;° A second springe must help me or° I burne. [page 18] No, no, the well is drye that should refresh me°, 224The glasse is runne of all my destinie: Nature of winter learneth nigardize Who, as he ouer-beares the streame with ice That man nor beaste maie of their pleasance taste, 228So shutts she up hir conduit all in haste, And will not let hir Nectar ouer-flowe, Least mortall man immortall ioyes should knowe. Adieu! unconstant loue, to thy disporte 232Adieu! false mirth, and melodie too short; Adieu! faint-hearted instrument of lust; That falselie hath betrayde our equale trust. Hence-forth no more will I implore thine° ayde, 236Or thee, or man of cowardize upbrayde°. My little dilldo shall suply° their kinde: A knaue, that moues° as light as leaues by winde; That° bendeth not, nor fouldeth anie deale, 240But stands as stiff as he were made of steele; And playes at peacock twixt my leggs right blythe°, And doeth my tickling swage with manie a sighe. [page 19] For, by saint Runnion! he'le° refresh me well; 244And neuer make my tender bellie° swell. Poore Priapus! whose triumph now must falle°, Except thou thrust this weakeling to the walle°. Behould! how he usurps, in bed and bowre° 248And undermines thy kingdom euerie howre;° How slye he creepes betwixt° the barke and tree, And sucks the sap, whilst sleepe detaineth° thee. He is my Mistris page at euerie stound°, 252And soone will tent° a deepe intrenched wound. He wayte's on Courtlie Nimphs that be so° coye, And bids them skorne the blynd-alluring° boye. He giues yong guirls their gamesome sustenance°, 256And euerie gaping mouth his full sufficeance. He fortifies disdaine with forraine° artes, And wanton-chaste deludes° all loving hartes. [page 20] If anie wight a cruell mistris serue's°, 260Or, in dispaire, (unhappie) pines and staru's°, Curse Eunuke dilldo, senceless counterfet° Who sooth maie fill, but never can begett. But, if revenge enraged with dispaire, 264That such a dwarf his wellfare should empaire, Would faine this womans secretarie° knowe, Lett° him attend the markes that I shall showe: He is a youth almost two handfulls highe°, 268Streight, round, and plumb, yett hauing° but one eye, Wherein the rhewme so feruentlie doeth raigne°, That Stigian gulph maie scarce his teares containe;° Attired in white veluet°, or in silk, 272And nourisht with whott water, or with milk°, Arm'd otherwhile° in thick congealed glasse, When he, more glib, to hell be lowe° would passe. [page 21] Vpon a charriot of five wheeles he rydes°, 276The which an arme strong driuer stedfast° guides, And often alters pace as wayes growe deepe, (For who, in pathes unknowne°, one gate can keepe?) Sometimes he smoothlie slideth doune° the hill; 280Another while°, the stones his feete doe kill; In clammie waies he treaddeth° by and by, And plasheth and sprayeth all that be him nye°. So fares this iollie rider° in his race, 284Plunging and sousing forward in lyke° case, He dasht, and spurted, and he plodded° foule, God giue thee shame, thou blinde° mischapen owle! Fy-fy, for grief: a ladies chamberlaine°, 288And canst not thou thy tatling tongue refraine?° I reade thee beardles blab°, beware of stripes, And be aduised what thou vainelie° pipes; [page 22] Thou wilt be whipt with nettles for this geare° 292If Cicelie shewe but of thy knauerie° heere. Saint Denis shield me from such female sprites!° Regarde not, Dames, what Cupids Poete° writes: I pennd this storie onelie° for my selfe, 296Who, giuing suck unto a childish Elfe°, And quitte discourag'd in my nurserie°, Since all my store seemes to hir penurie°. I am not as was Hercules the stout, 300That to the seaventh iournie° could hould out; I want those hearbe's and rootes of Indian soile°, That strengthen wearie members in their toile°— Druggs and Electuaries of new devise°, 304Doe shunne my purse, that trembles at the price°. Sufficeth all I haue, I yeald hir hole° Which, for a poore man, is a princelie dole, [page 23] I paie our hostess scott and lott at moste°, 308And looke as leane and lank as anie° ghoste; What can° be added more to my renowne? She lyeth breathlesse; I am taken doune;° The waves doe swell, the tydes climbe or'e the banks;° 312Judge, gentlemen! if I deserue not thanks?° And so, good night! unto° you euer'ie one; For loe, our thread is spunne, our plaie is donne°.

Claudito iam vinos Priapa, sat prata biberunt [sic^a].

hus^* hath my penne presum'd to please my friend— Oh mightst thou lykewise please Apollo's eye. No, Honor brooke's no such impietie, Yett Ouids wanton Muse did not offend.

He is the fountaine whence my streames doe flowe— Forgive me if I speake as I was taught, A lyke to women, utter all I knowe, As longing to unlade so bad a fraught. My mynde once purg'd of such lasciuious witt, With purifide words and hallowed verse, Thy praises in large volumes shall rehearce, That better maie thy grauer view befitt. Meanewhile yett rests, you smile at what I write; Or, for attempting, banish me your sight.

Togeather lett our equall motions stirr, Togeather lett vs liue and dye, my deare;