THEY GROW TO FLOWERS, OR TO WEEDS.
Reading edition
THE TRUE GENTLEMAN.
’Tis he whose very thought and deed By rule of virtue moves; Whose generous tongue disdains to speak The thing his heart disproves. Who never did a slander forge, His neighbour’s fame to wound; Nor hearken to a false report, By malice whispered round. Who vice, in all its pomp and power, Can treat with just neglect; And piety, though clothed in rags, Religiously respect. Who to his plighted word and trust Has ever firmly stood; And, though he promise to his loss, He makes his promise good. Whose soul in usury disdains His treasure to employ; Whom no reward can ever bribe The guiltless to destroy.
Be honest. Not only because “honesty is the best policy,” but because it is a duty to God and man. The heart that can be gratified by dishonest gains; the ambition that can be satisfied by dishonest means; the mind that can be devoted to dishonest purposes, must be of the worst order.
Having laid down these general principles for the government of personal conduct, we will epitomize what we would still enforce;—
Avoid idleness—it is the parent of many evils. Can you pray, “Give us this day our daily bread,” and not hear the reply, “Do thou this day thy daily duty?”
Avoid telling idle tales, which is like firing arrows into the dark; you know not into whose heart they may fall.
Avoid talking about yourself; praising your own works; and proclaiming your own deeds. If they are good, they will proclaim themselves; if bad, the less you say of them the better.
Avoid envy, for it cannot benefit you, nor can it injure those against whom it is cherished.
Avoid disputation, for the mere sake of argument. The man who disputes obstinately and in a bigoted spirit, is like the man who would stop the fountain from which he should drink. Earnest discussion is commendable; but factious argument never yet produced a good result.
Be kind in little things. The true generosity of the heart is more displayed by deeds of minor kindness, than by acts which may partake of ostentation.
Be polite. Politeness is the poetry of conduct—and like poetry it has many qualities. Let not your politeness be too florid, but of that gentle kind which indicates refined nature.
Be sociable—avoid reserve in society. Remember that the social elements, like the air we breathe, are purified by motion. Thought illumines thought, and smiles win smiles.
Be punctual. One minute too late has lost many a golden opportunity. Besides which, the want of punctuality is an affront offered to the person to whom your presence is due.
The foregoing remarks may be said to apply to the moral conduct, rather than to the details of personal manners. Great principles, however, suggest minor ones; and hence from the principles laid down many hints on personal behavior may be gathered.
Be hearty in your salutations.
Discreet and sincere in your friendships.
Like to listen rather than to talk.
Behave, even in the presence of your relations, as though you felt respect to be due to them.
In society never forget that you are but one of many.
When you visit a friend, conform to the rules of his home.
Lean not upon his tables, nor rub your feet against his chairs.
Pry not into letters that are not your own.
Pay unmistakable respect to ladies everywhere.
Beware of foppery and of silly flirtation.
In public places be not too pertinacious of your own rights.
Find pleasure in making concessions.
Speak distinctly.
Look at the person to whom you speak.
When you have spoken, give him an opportunity to reply.
Avoid drunkenness as you would a curse; and modify all appetites, especially those that are acquired.
Dress well, but not superfluously.
Be neither like a sloven, nor like a stuffed model.
Keep away all uncleanly appearances from the person. Let the nails, the teeth, and, in fact, the whole system receive salutary rather than studied care. But let these things receive attention at the toilet—not elsewhere.
Avoid displaying excess of jewelry. Nothing looks more effeminate upon a man.
Every one of these suggestions may be regarded as the center of many others, which the earnest mind cannot fail to discover.
HABITS OF A MAN OF BUSINESS.
A sacred regard to the principles of justice forms the basis of every transaction, and regulates the conduct of the upright man of business.
He is strict in keeping his engagements.
Does nothing carelessly nor in a hurry.
Employs nobody to do what he can easily do himself.
Keeps everything in its proper place.
Leaves nothing undone that ought to be done, and which circumstances permit him to do.
Keeps his designs and business from the view of others.
Is prompt and decisive with his customers, and does not over-trade his capital.
Prefers short credits to long ones; and cash to credit at all times, either in buying or selling; and small profits in credit cases, with little risk to the chance of better gains with more hazard.
He is clear and explicit in all his bargains.
Leaves nothing of consequence to memory which he can and ought to commit to writing.
Keeps copies of all his important letters which he sends away, and has every letter, invoice, etc., relating to his business, titled, classed, and put away.
Never suffers his desk to be confused by many papers lying upon it.
Is always at the head of his business, well knowing that if he leaves it, it will leave him.
Holds it as a maxim that he whose credit is suspected is not one to be trusted.
Is constantly examining his books, and sees through all his affairs as far as care and attention will enable him.
Balances regularly at stated times, and then makes out and transmits all his accounts current to his customers, both at home and abroad.
Avoids as much as possible all sorts of accommodation in money matters and lawsuits where there is the least hazard.
He is economical in his expenditures, always living within his income.
Keeps a memorandum-book in his pocket, in which he notes every particular relative to appointments, addresses, and petty cash matters.
Is cautious how he becomes security for any person; and is generous when urged by motives of humanity.
Let a man act strictly to these habits; when once begun they will be easy to continue in—ever remembering that he hath no profits by his pains whom Providence doth not prosper—and success will attend his efforts.
