LITTLE MISS MUFFET
Reading edition
Nurse and Miss Muffet, reading at table.
Muffet [reading her lesson]. C, A, T, cat; M, A, T, mat. I've done my lessons very well to-day, haven't I?
Nurse. Yes, Miss Muffet dear, you've been a very good little girl. Now, just read those two sentences and then we will go out.
Muffet [reading]. THE CAT IS ON THE MAT. THE BAT IS ON THE MAT. Oh, I don't like that story.
Nurse [surprised]. Why not?
Muffet. About the bat. It frightens me to read about a bat on the mat. I don't like bats.
Nurse. Why, you silly little girl, they don't do you any harm.
Muffet. They make me afraid. I can't bear bats—they're nearly as bad as spiders.
Nurse. I never saw such a foolish little child. Spiders don't do you any harm, either.
Muffet. Oh, they're worse than bats. You won't let one come near me, nursie, will you?
Nurse [smiling]. Of course not, my poppet. Now, it's time to go out. Put your things on and we'll take the baby into the grounds.
[Nurse ties on Muffet's hat, and while she dresses her they talk.
Muffet. Nursie, you know that you said if I were good at my lesson I could choose my luncheon?
Nurse. I did, yes.
Muffet. And do let me take it out with me to have outside.
Nurse. Then you must have something that's easy to carry. What do you say to some nice bread and butter?
Muffet. No.
Nurse. Then what about a nice ginger-nut?
Muffet. No.
Nurse. Or a nice scone?
Muffet. No.
Nurse. Or a nice Albert biscuit?
Muffet. No.
Nurse. Then what do you want?
Muffet. Something that begins with a K.
Nurse. With a K.? What can that be?
Muffet [triumphantly]. Curds and whey!
Nurse. Oh, my dear child, what spelling! Curds begins with a C.
Muffet [decidedly]. No, nursie, I've done my spelling for to-day. You'll let me have it outside, won't you? Just for a treat.
Nurse. It won't be much of a treat if you spill it all on the path.
Muffet. No, I don't want to give the path a treat, do I? Oh, I'll be so careful, nursie, you'll see. Do let me.
Nurse. Very well then, just for once you may. But mind, you mustn't begin Curds with a K.
Muffet. I'll begin it with a spoon, dear nursie—that's best. I'll go and get it from the kitchen.
Nurse. And I'll go and fetch the darling baby. Bless his pretty heart for a popsy wopsy toodelums.