ALPHABET OF CELEBRITIES

IS for Edison, making believe He's invented a clever contrivance for Eve, Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve. O is for Oliver, casting aspersion On Omar, that awfully dissolute Persian, Though secretly longing to join the diversion. R's Rubenstein, playing that old thing in F To Rollo and Rembrandt, who wish they were deaf. S is for Swinburne, who, seeking the true, The good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo, Where he chances on Sappho and Mr. Sardou, And Socrates, all with the same end in view. W's Wagner, who sang and played lots, For Washington, Wesley and good Dr. Watts; His prurient plots pained Wesley and Watts, But Washington said he "enjoyed them in spots."

[Oliver Herford