AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF A CORNISH SMUGGLER. (continued 2)

I very gladly consented to what they said, this being on saturday. First went to the King's Cove to see the Cove boys, and for all I was not more than aboute two years from them, not one of them know me until they heard me speak. The next morning being the sabbath, went to Trevean[57] to preaching, where I had a blessed time indeed. After preching I was surounded with allmoste all the congregation. Every one glad to see me, but in particular the methodists, as they heard before that there was a chainge of mind passed upon me. This made me to wonder and adore the goodness of God unto me, as I did not expect to see any person when I came home but only my own family. This was a wonder indeed to think I was once more returned to my native country, amongse my own family, friends, and the people of God. Well, then, after atending the preaching and meetings a few times was desired to give out a hymn and speak in prayer, but at first I refused, as I did not exercise in that way before I come home, only at times I was sent to visit the sick with Father Cooper when he could not attend himself. So I refused, but after suffered great pain of mind, so that at laste I took up the cross with much fear and trembling, and immediately went aboute like a town crier, telling the people what the Lord had done for my soul.

See what a chainge was here taken place; a little while before labouring in the fields with the poor negroes, and used like a slave, and looked upon with contempt on the greatest part of my passage home; so now I had nothing to do with the world, all things was provided for me, so that in a little time the congregation begin to increase greately, and prayer meetings set on in many defrant places; so, as far as I can remember, in the course of eight or nine weeks there was a great number of men, women, and children converted. Our meeting seem to be all in confusion, sume praying, sume singing, sume crying, sume praising and blessing of God. We have staid in the house sume times from twelve until three o'clock in the morning. My heart at that time, with every powar of my soul, was fully engaged in the work; one time in particular, I trust I shall never for get it, in prayer in the after meeting, I think Mr. Wacktings was the preacher, whether in the body or out of the body I could harely tell. It was just the same as it was in New York, and car'd on in the same manner. At the first sume of the old members would not owned it to be of God, as it was so much out of the comman way, wilst many others put their shoulders to the work, and, praise be to God, aboute this time I do remember my soul through mercy was got just in the same tune as it was in New York. I declard at that time to sevral old members consarning my thoughts. Sume would give me great incoregement, wilst other would try to drive me back. I mentioned this, if ever this should be published, which in all probability it will not, for thou, my young Reader, to take care who to declare thy mind to, for it is not evry old prefessor that knoweth moste of the things of God, but in the genral him who's soul is most alive to God. So as I was but as a babe in the way, I still wanted to be teached in the ways of God, and I fell in company with John Bettens, to whom I opened my mind freely. I have thought many times since I never found such faith, no, not in all the men I ever talked with. Well, then, I was not confined to Trevean house only, but I went aboute all through the country. But no place where I was asked where the housen was not full of people, and sume would not contain all the people. Shorley I was a wonder to myself, and in genral I found great freedom to speak to the people in my simple way. I remember once I went about eight or nine miles from home, and as I came to the door where I was expected, a young man came out and said, "Are you Captain Harry Carter?" I answered, "My name is Henry Carter." He said, "We have been expecting of you, for it is given out for you to preach to-night." When I heard of the name preach, I was struck with such fear and trembling, I could not tel whether it was best to return home again or stay there. So I went in, and the good man received me very kindly, and when the time came took me to the chaple, where it was so full the people could harley stand. Sume that know nothing of preaching caled it preaching, but I never presumed to take a text, but laid a little foundation as a text in disguise, so that I had room to ramble. But it was not for what I could say only that the housen was so full of people, but it was like the Jews of old, came not to see Jesus only, but Lazreth[58] also. Where I was not known before, they heard of me, and they believed that there was a great chainge upon me. I think the people believed I was really what I professed to be, but many times after I had been speaking, so dejected in my own mind, wishing that I may stand up no more, for it was seldam a day passed but what I had doubts whether I was cal'd or not, and I was much afraid to run before I was sent. And likewayse the cross was so great, I have often[59] thought if the people knew what I suffered, they never would ask me to exercise in that way at all. Oh, how I did tremble and sweat just as the time were come. Well, then, still the work of God continued to go on in Trevean society, and lively meetings all through this neighberhood.

I think it was in Febury, in 1791, or a little before, when the work in Trevean begun in sume degree to sease, but still blessed times; and I think it was in the later end of March or the begining of April I was sent for by a great man of this neighberhood, he wanted to speak with me. Accordingly I went, and the business was as follows—saying, "I was in Helston a such a day in company with three jentelmen" (mentioned their names); "they all ware black coats. Looking out through the window, a methodist preacher went up street. One said, 'There is a methodist prechar.' Another answerd, 'I wonder how Harry Carter goes aboute so publick apreching and Law[60] against him; I wonder how he is not aprended and taken.' So I sent for you, as I fear they are brewing of mischief against you." "Well, sir," said I, "what do you think I am best to do?" He said, "I know they cannot hurt you no further then if you are taken you may suffer a long time in prison, and it may cost you a good deal of money, etc. I think you are better, to prevent danger, to return to America again." This was the tenar of his advice, and added, "If you go there I will give you, as I think he called it, a lett of recomedation from Lord ——, which, I think, may be very usefull to you, or anything else in my powar shall not be wanting." And as the jent was well acquainted with our family, I dined with him, and he brought me aboute a mile in my way home, so I parted with him, fully determning in my own mind to soon see my dear friends in New York again. So I told my brothers what the news was, and that I was meaning to take the jent's advice. They answered, "If you go to America we never shall see you no more. We are meaning to car on a little trade in Roscoff in the brandy and gin way, and if you will go there you'l be as safe there as in America; likewayse, we shall pay you for your comision, and you car on a little business for your self, if you please." So that with prayer and supplication I made my request known unto God. I still continued to walk in the same rigrous self denial as before, abstaining from food, etc. Well, then, with much fear and trembling I concluded to go. The greatest tryal I had aboute going, I know there was no religious people there, and sume times in fears I should be lead away into the world again. I know I was going un slepry ground, but, glory be to God, I know his grace was sufficient for me. So at the 19 of April, in '91, I saild in an open boat from the King's Cove, in company with a merchant that had business there, so that after fifteen hours' passage arived there very safe, still in the same frame of mind. I lodged at a publick house, I think, two days, and as the merchant had business to Morlaix, desired me to go with him, where I staid there aboute ten or twelve days, and returned again back to Roscoff. I keept myself to myself as much as posable. Well, then, I went to privat lodgings and eate and drunk to myself; and as I had no business to do, I was allmoste all the time to myself day and night, still walking in the same self denial as first. I would not allow myself but four hours in bed, so continued, as well as I think, for six or seven days, but I found I had not sleep enough, as aboute noon I have fallen asleep upon the book, so I added a little longer time. I have often times since thought how dead I was then to all below. There was a house burned under the same roof where I lodged little before, and I had to go in and out right before the same house; and after I was there aboute a furtnight I hard sume people talking aboute the dredfull fire, and what great loste sume had sustained. I asked, "What fire?" They said, "Next door." I made no other answer, for I was really ashamed; what they thought of me I know not. So after I looked, and saw moste of the walls standin, but without windows and door, and the walls smoked quite black.

Well, then, I did not pray in secret less than I did before, I suppose never less than ten times in a day, and in fore and afternoon walked a little out of town in so solitary place as I could find, out of sight of all men. In genral I went on the cleavs,[61] wher no eye saw me, and there sing, that I may be heard for I supose a mile distance, and pass, I think, aboute two hours and half fore noon and after noon in reading, praying, singing, and then return home. Aboute this time I made a linen girdle to go aboute my loins inside my shirt. Tied it tite—I thought I might be able to live upon less food and my spirit would be more vigorous in the wayse of good. I continued on for, as I think, aboute two days, found it quite disagrable, and so left it off. I passed allmoste all my time to myself; in my going out and coming in I went the byest roads, because I wanted to see no person; and if I meet any person in the way, it was a great cross to me to enter in to any conversation more than just the time of the day, for fear to obstroct my communan with God. I think then I watched over all my thoughts as well as words and acktens.[62] I think there did not the least thought pass my mind unperseved; my mind then was like a fisherman's net, I sav'd the good but heaved away the bad.

Well, then, I went on still in this way until I think aboute the beginning of August, when I went on with a little business in the shop way, and aboute the same time Captain B. came there, an old acquaintance of mine, being the first Captain I sailed with, a man of what we calls good morels. I meet him one Sabbath morning as I was walking out, and after a little conversation I said, "This is a poor place for the publick worship of God; if I was at home now I should be at Trevean preaching." He answered, "Why don't you stand up here and say something to the people?" So as I thought he was making game of me, I answered, "Who will hear me?" He said, "I will hear you, and I suppose most of the English men in town." So the next Sabbath morning meet with him again on nearly the same ground. He repeated unto me nearley the same thing again, saying, "All the English in town will gladly hear you," or to that purpose. So then I thought he was in earnest, and I left him with much fear and trembling, and immediately went to ask counsel from the mouth of the Lord, so that spent the remainder of that fore noon in pray and supplication, and for fear I should run before I was sent, I set this as a mark, that after diner I would go on the pier, and if I meet first a such a man, who was master of one of the vessels that was there, I should perpose the matter unto him, and if agreable, I should shorly think it to be the will of God consarning me. So aboute one o'clock I roase up from my knees and went on the pier, and the first man I meet with was the very same man, so with much fear and trembling I opened the business unto him of what Captain B. and I was talking of. He readily replyed, "I'll come, and I will tell all the people of it, I suppose they will all come." So him and me perposed the time of meeting, I think it was four o'clock. So he, like a town cryar, beat the alarm, and after I left him, oh, how my poor head was destracted, a such poor ignorant soul as I was to take such a thing upon me; shorley I shall be a by word and reproach with the French, and a mocking and lafing stock to all the English. And another was, what can I say to the people? as when I was at home there was mornars to comfart, weak belevers to build up, sanctification to impress upon the people's minds, and now only sinners, etc., to talk to. So that my poor mind was so full of distraction I could harly tell what to do; but as I had gone so far as to perpose it, I could not go from it. Well, then, according to the time perposed, the same afternoon, in came Captain B. with I suppose about twenty or thirty, I suppose nearly all the Inglish men in the town, took off their hats, and seat themselves down, so that I begun to tremble and sweat, I could scarcely hold the hymn book in both hands. Gave out a verse, and begun to sing myself, and praise be to God, before I sung the second verse I found life coming, and before I went to prayer the cross was all gone, so that I found very great liberty in prayer; so that when I roase from my knees I was surprised to see so many hard harts to their knees, so that I found much curage to go on in my poor simple way. I found uncoman degree of liberty, and the people all listoned with the greatest attention, and after I dismised the people with singing and prayer. So after they were gone, I was still jealous that they would turn what I said into ridicule, and as I had a back window that I could see the greatest part of the pier, watched them, and they all went on board as quiat as Christians of the first magnitude might be expected. The Lord doth only know if there was any good done or not. So I continued for eight or nine months every night when there was Englishmen there. I think it was in the beginning of the month of may '92, when three of my brother's children come to life with me, Fra^s., Henry, and Joanna Carter, and staid with me until the beginning of Sept^r., when I was like a hermit to myself as before. I think it was in the beginning of Oct^r. when three large cuttars, Captain Scott one of them, came in here wind bound from Guarnsey; and as I went into the house on sume buisiness where they put up to, saw one of their sailors that did formely sail with me. I asked him to come to my house, sayin I could treate him with a glass of grogg, and if them three or four men that was presant would come with him, I should be glad to see them also. That was in the evning. I was not home as I think more than fifteen or twenty minits until he came in with four or five with him, and in a few minits after allmoste the house full with their three Captains. Then I thought what they come for, and as they took me in surprise, as I had not the least thoughts to say anything, I begun to tremble and run upstairs to call for help from the Lord. I suppose I might have been there eight or ten minits, and as I was coming down I meet one in the stairs, saying, "If you don't come down the people will all be gone." So with much trembling and sweating I took the Hymn Book and begun to sing to myself, as I did the first time. I found great liberty in prayer, and after thundred out the tretnings, cryed aloude, spar'd not. They all behaved very well, seemed to listen with great atention. So after we concluded the meeting, I asked the Captains and sume of the men to seat down, so they stayed with sume more of their people, I suppose more than an hour, all very seryous, no laffing, no trifling conversation. They took sume thing to drink, shook hands, and wished good night. Prayse be to God, I was shorly a wonder to myself in deed. So the next morning him that had sailed with me before come in laffing, saying one of his shepmates told him that how could that ould man know his thoughts, for he told him allmoste all that ever he did in his life. I think they sailed the next day, and two of them being in company in a gale of wind, one of them disapeared, and have never been heard of since. Captain Scott showed me great kindness ever after; he sent a luggar there after to be laid up, with, I think, six or eight men on board, who ordered them to take all what they wanted of me, and likewayse recemended all his friends unto me for what they wanted.

Well, then, aboute the later end of Nov^r. I got a passage to come home not only to see my family friends, but my spiritual friends also. I can still see, glory be to God, I was still hungring and thirsting after him. I thought before I come home, if I could be permitted to come into preaching housen dors, I should be very happy, but praise be to God, I had rather the right hand of felowship given me, the preaching houses full of people where I was expected, as before. I staid at home until 24 Dec^r., and as the war seemed to be near at hand between the Franch and Inglish, inbarked at Coverack, on board Captain R. John's. I had a blessed time in company with my dear freinds there, two or three day wind bound. Arived at Roscoff, Christmas day in the morning, 1 Jan^y. 1793, oh, how short I comes in all things of what I would wish or ought[63] to have been. There was no talk of war when I arived there, all was quiat as when I left the place. I found my house, etc., just as I left it. I was then to myself as before, I went home like a hermat or a king blessing and praising of God. I continued to walk in the same self-denial. I sent off moste of my goods to Gurnsey, sold sume there, and keept sume, what the law would alow me to bring home, as I was promised that a vessel should be sent to bring me home. So I think Feb^y. 2[64] there was an embargo lade on all English vessels, and war declard between the boath Kingdoms. I think it was in the latter end of March when I was sent to Morlaix as a prisnor, not close confined, but to apear every morning to the town house to sine my name. I was there nine or ten days, when I was ordered back to Roscoff again. Things at that time looked very gloomey, but glory be to God, I was not the lease afraid of all the lyons in France. I could trust boath soul and body in the hands of my Redemer, no mormring, no complaining, the language of my heart was continualy, "Good is the will of the Lord, may thy will be done." I staid in Roscoff nine or ten days, when I was ordered again to Morlaix in company with Mr. and Mrs. McCullock and Mr. Clansie. I think in the beginning of May was sent back again to Roscoff, Mr. M. and Mr. C. in Roscoff the same time, where we was all obliged to go to the town house every day to sine our names. So continued untel the beginning of August, when we got a passport in order to come home. In the course of this time, wilst in Morlaix, the same as at Roscoff, went to privat lodgings. Walking still in the same rigrous selfdenial, etc. So as there was no other way for us to come home, M. Macculloh bought a small vessel, aboute 40 tons, and boute the seven or eight hauled the vessel out in the Sadie Rock Road, and got all things on board ready for sea, when there was orders from the town house with a corvet's armed boat, ordered us in to the pier again. And this was Provedence indeed. Our whole crew consist as follows: Mr. Macculloh was a jentleman marchant, lived in that town many years before, a man of good property, etc.; Mrs. Macculloh, two sons, one a man, the other aboute twelve years old, one daughter, a young lady aboute eighteen or twenty years old, one sarvant man, two sarvant maidens, Mr. Clansice, and myself, ten in number in all. And we concluded before, that the old jentlman and me was all the sailors, there was not one of the other eight that in no case could help themselves. The four females was sent onshore to Mr. M.'s house, all the rest of us keept on board with a gard of soldars for three days and three nights, the wind blowing very hard tho' fair. This vessel was condemed for sea for sume time before, so that in the cource of three days we had time to overhaul her, and I think I may safely say that there was scores of graving pieces in her not bigger then a man's hand; sume of the timbrs so rotton, that one might pick them off with one's fingers, the sails, masts, etc., in the like state. We had hard rain sume part of that three days, where we was so wett below nearley as upon deck. The old jentleman have told me many times since, saying it was Providence prevented us from sailing, had we sailed then we should all be no more. You may be ready to ask, Why did we expose ourselves to so much dainger? I answer, "This was the third pasport, and all conterdicted, and glad to git out of the mouths of the lyons, as there was no other way." So we was all sent on shore to Mr. M.'s house with a gard of soldars to be keept at the dore, and the 15 of August, 1793, all march'd to St. Paul's with a gard of soldars. I lodged and boarded in the house with Mr. and Mrs. M., where I had a good room and bed to sleep in, and a large garden to walk in. Now, I am going to inform you of sume of the devices of Satan. One evning, whilst at suppar, seating by the side of Mr. M., when it was sugested to my mind the same as if one was to speak to my outward ear blasfamys thoughts against my dear friend Mr. M. At first it struck me all of alarm. Upon reflection I was shore they were not my thoughts, for at that time, and before then, I know I never loved my own father bettar, and after, when the gulenteen[65] begun to work, I have thought many a times, should him be condemned, I would gladely die in his steed. So after suppar took a walk in the gardon as usual, where I begun to reason, saying, "Shorley if I was saved from inbred sin, I should not feel such ugley thoughts as these and then begin to doubt." But praise be unto God, he did not leve me to doubt for harley a moment, but sent me down the Comfartar, so that all doubts vanished away in a moment. So I went to seat in the summar house, and begun to sing, that I suppose that I might be heard all over the town. I suppose I shall never forgett that evning wilst in time, how my poor soul was delighted in God my Savour. Still went on in the same rigrous selfdenial, but I could not fast then for fear to be taken notice of with the family. I staid there until the 12 or 13 September, 1793, when sume officers came, sent by the town house; so after they examined us for money and papars, took us to the Town House, and after they measured our height, and asked us many foolish questions, took us to a prison caled the "Retreat," in the same town. We arived there a little after night, were all of us showed our apartment to lodge in. I had a nice little room to myself like a king. Here was another chainge, but a happy one, the language of my heart was, "Good is the will of the Lord, may Thy will be done." Nor could I help singing that night alowd when I went into bed. We all had our pervision sent from the House we lodged before, and after four or five days past, we was joined by sevral French gent. and lades, and in aboute fourteen or fifteen days there was two armed horsemen sent in the preson to take Mr. and Mrs. M. from us, no person knowing where they were to be sent, but supposed they were to be sent to a small uninhabited island, a little off Brest harbar, and there to be starved to death. Oh, what tears and cries was there with their little famely and many others. It was seldom I could shed tears, then I did plenty, and after dried up my tears and cheard myself up, and then went in to his room, where I found him alone packing up his clothes, etc. I sat myself down in silance I supose for aboute ten minutes without one word; whether him or me spoak first, I know not, but he said in his usual plesant way to this purpas, "I fear not what man can do unto me. I can trust in Providence and not be afraid," which set my heart all on fire with love; I could give them both up unto God, shorley beleving I should see them again. The remainder of the day was a solam day unto me in deed, but a day of mourning through the whole house; after this there did seldam a day pass but what sume Jentmen and Ladis was brought to join us, and in the beginning of Nov. 1793 the lady I boarded with and sume of her famely was brought to us. I used sett times for reading, praying, walking, and thinking, as I did before when I was at liberty, and keept allmoste all the time to myself, I went to bed aboute ten or half past, and got up as soon as I could see daylight in the morning; and as the weather begun to alter, juste to run in the garden aboute half hour in the fore noon, and the same in the after noon. At first the people thought I was ither a natural fool or else mad, but my friend Clansie gave them an account of what kind of being I was. Aboute this time I had word brought me, that all my goods I left in Roscoff was condemed and sold, I suppose they might have been to the amount of £40. I rejoiced with great joy when I heard of it, saying the Lord's will be done, knowing all things should work twogether for good. It apears clearley to me since that my will was wholy swallowed up in the will of God; I think I was then shorley so dead to this world as ever I shall be. Well, then, as the people begin to increase more and more evry day, Mr. Clansice came with me in my little room. At first it was a great cross to me, but soon after, the oftener I saw him the better, far bettar I likt him, he ackted like a father, a brother, my tuter, my sarvant. Glory be to God for such dear frends. He was a young jentelman merchant, a man of great natural abilities, and I suppose brought up in the first scools in Christendom. I knew his father and him from a child before, but was little acquainted with him before we became prisonars together, and I have thought many times since that there was not in the whole world two such men as Mr. M. and he. About the 3 or 4 of Dec^r. 1793 a gard of soldars came into the prison and took with them my dear friend C., Mr. T. Maccull, with a great number of French gintelemen and ladis, so there was none of my family left, but Miss M. her dear little brother, and the two sarvant maidens. I think such a scene as that I never saw in all my life. I suppose there was not one dry face in all the house, either with men or whimin. There was not one person that know where they were to be sent to, but supposed they were all to be sent upon the same Island with Mr. and Mrs. M., and there to be starved to death. This was a day of mourning and lamentation indeed. I do not know that I shed one tear, tho' it was a solamn day with me, still the language of my heart was, "Good is the will of the Lord, may the Lord's will be done." But the tryal was so great, the same as tearing the flesh from the bones.

Aboute the 6 Dec^r. 1793, when a gard of soldars came to the preson, and took away I suppose between thirty and forty prisnors, and me one of them, where to go we knew not; but Provedence enterfered, and worked upon a French jintelman's mind, so that he took Miss Maccu^h. and her little brother, with the two maidens, to his own house, so that they had all liberty to walk the town when they pleased. This was the cause of great joy and gladness unto me. There was a few horses brought for the old and infarm to ride—two, which one was put in my hands, and ordered to ride it, with a charge to keep it to myself. We had aboute twelve French miles to go, so we arived to Morlaex just after night, where, to my agreable surprise, found dear C., Mr. T. M., and sume jint^n. of Roscow, whome I know before. We rejoiced greately together, and then they gave an account of Mr. and Mrs. Maccu^h.; they was put from St. Paul's to a town caled Landernau, aboute twenty miles from S^t. Paul's, in to a crimnal gaol, where the first night had nothing to lye on but a little short dirty straw, and without one farding[66] of money with them, and not one person in the town that they were acquainted with, but in the morning was visited with sume jint^n. and lades, who suplyed them with a bed, and brought them pervisian. So we rejoiced greately together in telling and hearing. Here was a blessed chainge again to me, to once more to be with my dear family at home again. This place we was now in was a jentleman's house, all the family thrust out and put into other prisons, and this house made a prison of. The house was not large, but it was full of people below and aloft. I sleept in one room, where there was fourteen beds, and there could not find the least cornar to retire to myself but a little house. At that time it was very cold, but I did not mind that. I could not stay there long to a time, distorbed with one or other, as there was sixty or seventy presoners there. I had not one farding of money, nor nither of our family, but the law or rule was, by the order of the Convention, for the rich to maintain the poor. So I think I was maintained by the publick for two days, when my friend C. got credit for himself and me, from a tavarn close by. What a great chainge this was again, all the day long in nothing but a discord and noise. What a mercy it was I was not drawed away by the multitude to do evil. I can see now at this moment how I improved my time, how prechas every moment was, I had allwayse my book in my pocket ready to hand if I could find any place to seat, and sume times, when I could find no place to seat, stand to read. All the people very civil to me, and in the beginning many of them introduced their conversation; but I did not find it profatable, it sarved to block the mind from prayer. Tho' I could understand and speak French on moste common subjects, I soon gave them to think I know little or nothing, so by that means I saved myself from a great deal of empty chatchat, so by that means pass allmoste whole days, sume times without speaking very little. I have often heard sume of the French gentlemen speaking very high thing in my favour one to another, not knowing I could understand them, and I think it had allwayse this efect to humble me as in to the dust before God and before man. I was still watching over all my thoughts with all my words and actions. I do realy now beleve that there did not one thought pass through my mind unperseved in all my waking moments, still living as under the immediate eye of God, walking in the broad light of his countanance from moment to moment. I had left of drinking of water from the year of '89 in America, but there was a well close by the backdoor. I had a tumblar glass where I went sume times, and filled a glass with water, and look at it again and again. Oh, how my heart would burn with love and thankfulness to God. Aboute a week after I was there, I had a book given me by a French gent that spoak English, caled "The Sinner's Guide," pen'd by a Spanyard, but translated in English. The name of the gen^t. that gave it me was Mr. Lereu, which proved a great blessing to me indeed.

25 Dec^r., or Christmas day, 1793, Mr. T. M. and Mr. S. was taken from us, and put to a town caled Carhay,[67] aboute thirty miles from Morlaix, and there they joined Mr. and Mrs. Maccu^h.; all the rest of us was moved to another Jen^t. house, a few dors off, where we had more room, etc., Mr. C. and me still left together. The first thing I allwayse lookt for first was a place to go in secret, and my friend C. would allwayse look out for a place for himself and me to sleep in. I found a nice little place in the garat, with sume old mats and other things I so inclosed, that it would just hold me to my knees, with my feet out of sight, where I might stay so long as I pleased, and no person distorb me. This was a blessed chainge again. I sleept in a room with ten or twelve gent^m., went to bed at ten o'clock, got up in the morning at five, spent an hour to myself, and at six went down stairs, and sat by the fire with the old men that garded the house. To read, etc., until about half past seven or eight, when I should retire to my little garat until nine, when I should come down, make my bed, and run or walk in a large room until ten, and then retire again to my garat until one o'clock, when I was caled to dinnar. After dinnar, aboute two, I retired to my garat and stay there until half past three, come down and run in the room until four, then retire, and stay there until aboute seven or eight, stay down aboute half hour, and then pass in the garat until ten, bed time. There was a small window in the garat aboute a foot square, without glass, but a leef to shut and open, so that in the daytime could see to read by it, but at night I seat without any light, the days nearley the same length as they are in England. At that time I begun to, what I call, to examen myself, which time was from half past six until aboute nearley eight in the evning—about the same time that the many thousands of methodists offered up their evning sacrifise in England—and begin first to see the many wonderfull delivrances the Lord had wrought for me—how I have been presarved so many times from drowning and other dangars, then how I was convinced of sin, how I cal'd for mercy, what tryals and temptations when I was seeking the Lord, how and when I receved the Comfarter, what tryals, temptations, when I was in a justified state, what [...], what fears, what joys and delights in all plases I have [...] since I know the goodness of God; how many times I prayed in secret in evry place, what self denial I walked in, and to conclude, sume up the whole, saying, Lord, how is it with me now; am I growing in grace or loosing of ground? This garat was very cold indeed to the body, so that my hands was swollen very large with chilblins, sitting so many hours in the cold without fire.

Jan^y. 1794, aboute the beginning of the year, Mr. C. got me to sleep with him in his little room and one French jen^t. This was again a comfartable chainge; there we was together again, like to great kings. Aboute the latar end of this month, I was desired by C. to speak to aboute twenty whemen caled nuns, being presnars in the same house. I went with fear and trembling. They received me in a very pleasant manner, drew a chear,[68] asked me to seat down. One of them, an old Lady, the mother Confessor, asked me, was I ever baptised. I answerd, "Yes." "In what manner?" I answerd, "I was marked with the sign of the Cross in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Gost." I saw sume thing very plasant upon all their countnance, as it was the same way they themselvs was baptised. They asked me a number of many fullish questions, that I was obliged to mustar all the little French I could rise, as I could understand and speak any thing aboute the coman things of this life far better than the spiritual things, having no person to converce with aboute spiritual things. However, they keept me with them I suppose aboute half hour, still asking me questions, but at laste asked me to kiss the Cross. I refused. They tried me again and again. I told them I could not, I dare not do it. So at laste took my leave of them, and so came off rejoicing like a king. They are a loving people, and the nicest whemen I ever saw in France. I doubt not but many of them lives according to the light that is given them. They petted me very much, and told my friend afterward that if he could prevail upon me to turn to their Religion, I should be a good man. They thought I was earnestly crying for mercy, but was an entire strainger to the way of mercy. They allwayse looked upon me afterward with the love of pity, and some of them was fond to converse with me, [...] found it profitable, they after caled [...] the soletude, I spent so much time to myself. I think it was the 11 or 12 of Feb^y. '94, I seat apart to prayer and fasting on a particular occasion for thirty hours without eating or drinking. At the 19 and 20 of the same month, I seat apart in prayer and fasting to ask of the Lord sevral favours for self and friends, with thanks for past mercys, forty-eight hours without eating or drinkin. Oh, what a blessed time I had. The 19 and 20 of April, 1794, I seat apart in prayer and fasting for forty-eight hours without eating or drinking. I trust I shall ever remember these times wilst I am in time. Oh, how my poor soul was delighted in God my Saviour. To the end of this time I went to run in the room as usual, willing to know whether I was weaker or not, so that I found I could run strong as ever I could; and it was shorley to me a great wonder, as I took no breakfast for aboute six months before then, and I took suppar sume times two, and sume times three times a week, and my suppar I supose did not exceed two ounces of bread, without tea, water, or anything to drink, and my dinnar very little. I was still suplied with dinnar from the tavern. Mr. C., and aboute six or eight French gen^t., dined together. I could not keep all this a secret from my friend, so he took me to reason sevral times, saying, "You'l destroy the body," and would intice me like a child to eate, and allways took the pains to call me to dinnar. So I thought it was reason what he said, and I thought I was going to too great extremes, so I thought for the time to come I would go without breakfast and suppar as usual, and fast for thirty hours once month, for the time to come. I did not know then at that time I was thankfull or humble, but even now, I know I was as less then nothing in the sight of God and all men. I know I was unworthy of the floor I walked on, and vilest of the vile in my own eyes. I never saw my short comings more clearer than I did in them days. Oh, how often I was crying out against my dryness and lasiness of soul, my littleness of love, etc. Sume times, when I heard the clock strike, I uste to rejoice, saying, "Lord, one hour nearer to Eternety," the same time mourn before God I did not spend it more to his glory. I think every moment of time was far more preshas then fine gold. Aboute this time there was numbers of gen^t. and lades taken away to Brest that I parsnally know, and their heads chopt off with the gulenteen[69] with a very little notice. I don't know I ever had a doubt of my own life, but I have had many of Mr. M., and thought many times, should he be condemed to die, I would gladly die in his steed if Providence would have it. I knew he had much enimies, and why, because he was a libral man and a man of powar, and did do much good, and them he did do most good to was his greatest enimyes, and it was such men as him in genral sufferd moste. Again [...] if he was spared, he was worth his place in creation, be helpful to others as well as his own famely. As for me, I thought I should never be found wanting with any person in the world. I know my child at home would be taken care of, so it was a mattar of very little defrance to me where the body was left, knowing I had a house not made with hands, eternal in the Heavens. I staid there until the 15 June, 1794, when the house was cleared of all the presnors, and then put to a convent a little out of Town, that was made a prison, caled the Calemaleets,[70] where there was aboute 270 men and whimen, the house very full of people. We arived there aboute nine in the morning, and as Mr. C. and me was shifting aboute the house seeing for a place, standing in the room talking together, he was taken with a fit and fell as dead in my arms. Soon others came to my assistance, and took him out in the yard as dead. It was very seldem that I shed tears, but then I did plentefully, as I was in mind he was no more; but the language of my heart was still [...] may thy will be done, come life or death, take life and all away, good is the will of the Lord. But praised be the Lord for ever, in the course of an hour he revived, and was put to bed, so that in the course of sume time after he recovered. In the garden I seat myself under a tree and thought of Hagar's words, "Thou, God, seest me." I had a sweet time there until I was disturbed by two young men that came to seat by me [...] with a great merriment and ladies, and soon after the Lord provided a place for me under the stairs. It was a large stone stairs going down to a under-ground seller. In the daytime I could see a small glimring light, but never so light as to see to read. This was a blessed place again, indeed, where I was out of sight and hearing of all men. Mr. C. got part of a room in the garat, with a young jen^t., whose name was Morrow. The first night I made my bed in the passage close by his door. Friend C. could not bear to see me there. The next morning him, with sume young jen^t., got carpentar's tools and timber, turned to and divided the room in two, so took me in with him again, and there we was again together like two great kings. We could no longer have our food from the tavarn, the distance being too far [...] The good lady that I lodged and boarded with in St. Paul's was brought to the same preson, and a young gentleman with her, her brother son, to which she had d^r. C. and me with her to eate. She had her pervision sent from her own house. Blessed be God [...] for such dear Friends. In the course of two or three days I found my strength much failed me. I had more room to walk in than I had before, and long stairs to go up and down over. Mr. C. discovered it, and took me again to reason, saying, "You are of the earth, and the body must be helped with things of the earth; if you continue so, you'll hurt yourself, and if you do not feel any ill efects now [...] you shorley will if you lives untel you are old." I thought it was quite reason that he preached to me. I thought I was going too far with it, and that Satan had some hand in it; so after he watched me like a child, and if I was not presant at the time of meals, he would come and fetch me, and I must go with him, he would not be denied. Praise be to God that I ever saw his face, he was allwayse more mindfull of me than he was of himself; so I continued to take breakfast for eight or nine days and then left it off again, and I unely staid without suppar twice a week. This place was again a blessed chainge indeed. We had a large garden to walk in, from six in the morning untel seven in the evning, I suppose not less than three acres of ground, with fine gravel walks in it and sume apple trees, etc., so I was like a bird left out of a cage. I suppose I had not sung aloud to be heard with[71] man for many months before. I was allways surounded with[71] man, but then I used to go out with my book in my pocket, seat myself under a tree, and if I could not see any person, sing so loud, I suppose I might be heard for a mile off. Oh, how my soul would be delighted in the God of my salvation. I remember one day, as I was seating under a tree, three or four ladies came to me, and asked me to sing. I begged to be excused. They asked me again and again, so as I was afraid to give an ofence I sung two or three versis [...] with a loud voice. They thanked me in a very pleasant manner, and went away quite pleased. I think I spent my time to myself much the same as I did in Roscoff, before I was taken as a presonar. I was allwayse mindfull of my little cornar under the stears. I went to bed at ten o'clock, and got up in the morning at four. All the people still full of friendship to me; but I keept myself still to myself as much as posable, without giving an ofence. There was there amongst the whole number aboute sixty nuns, one of whom I conversed with more then all the rest; seldom miss a day, if she saw me, but what she would have sume thing to say unto me. But I had not French enough to enter into any depth of Religion, but I never heard one sound of persuasion from her to turn to her Religion. Once I remembered she asked me, saying, "Carter, did not you feel your self very sorry when you was first convinced of sin?" or sume thing to the same purpas. I was struck with wondar where she got that from. I think I may safely say she was a burning and a shining light. She had small suplys often from her [...] father's house, and well she had it often as it was possible. It was alwayse in her powar to govern her own mind. Every day she would give allmoste all she had to the poor, or to any person she thought that wanted; lived allmoste entirely on bread and water herself. She have often told friend C., "Do not leave Carter want any thing, but speak to me." I have often thought that she would allmoste tear out her eyes to do me good, and I have often thought that she had not the least doubt but what I was built for a Catholick. I have thought then, the same as I think now, that if I am faithfull untel death, and she continued in the same way, that she and me, with many more that I saw there, shall meet at God's right hand, where we shall sing louder and sweeter that ever I sung in that gardon. May the Lord grant it. She was so nice, butifull a young lady as I think the sun could shine on; I suppose aboute 26 or 27 years old. Her father was a nobleman of a large income, her mother, a sistar to the great, rich Bishop of St. Paul's, and him, as I have heard, for all his incom, could scarsely keep a goode sute of clothes aboute him—it was busy all[72] for the poor. I think she was the pictar of humility in all her deportment. I could not help to admire her, as I was in the same house, or housas, for, as I think, nearly six months.

Well, then, I continued to go on in the same manner as did before, minding the same things, and using the same language as I did in every chainge or place; this is the right place that God would have me be in, without one mormoring thought, or the leaste desire to be anywhere else, good is the will of the Lord, happy still from moment to moment. It was aboute the later end [...] it was imprest upon my mind to make [...], as there was sume country men there that was doing it, and after, with prayer and suplication, I made my request known unto God, I begun to work. I went to bed still at ten, roase at three in the morning, at four went to work until nine, pass a hour in prayer under the stairs, work until half past eleven, and then dinner; after dinner pass a half hour under the stairs, and work untel four, pass a half hour again in prayer, work until half past six; at seven we had supper. The remainder of the evning spend in praying, walking, reading, thinking, &c. So as the days shortend I could read but very little, nither walk in the garden, but only on the Lord's day. But praise be unto God, he was ever with me in a powarfull manner, sume times when the walks was allmoste full of jent and lades, pass through them all, as if allmoste there was no soul there but God and me only. That gardon was as the gardon of Edon to my soul. Then, in the morning, I spent nearely one hour to my self, and gitt at work as soon as I could see, minding [...] the same stops under the stairs, and work as long as I could see in the evning. So as the weather got coulder, I got myself to work in a large Room, I suppose not less than 50 feet one way, and I supose aboute 30 the other; it was not finished, neither plastard nor floored; what was under foot was the ground, the top of the window just to the level of the roof; and after suppar, evry evning, I passed my time there until bed time. I had a stool to seat un at meals, and in the evnings seat on my stool, then to pray, &c.; sume times, without[73] it was moonlight, stumble up again[74] the walls, as I had no light; but praise be to God for ever, for all it was so cold, a solatry place, it was a paradice to my soul, it was sume thing like a hermitage indeed. I was out of sight and hearing of all men and things. So just aboute that the clock struck ten, my dear friend C. and me used to meet just at the same time in our little, dark cornar of our lodging room as cheerfull as two kings. I think it was in the medle of Dec^r. 1794, the good ladey and her brother's son was removed from us and put to St. Paul's, into the prison that I was first put in. It was a day of mourning and lamentation with her, indeed, to leave her two children behind her, and it was a time of tryal to me likewayse, as she was nearly so natural as a mother. But still the language of my heart was as usual—good is the will of the Lord. She took care to send us our provisan from her own house, so still dear C. and me was together like [...]. Aboute this time I had an account that Mr. and Mrs. Maccullock was labrated out of preson,[75] and they and all their family were then at Mr. Diott's, in Morlaix. It was a day of rejoicing to me, indeed, to think that the Lord was so graicous to bring us so near together again. And in the course of a few weeks they had liberty to come to see dear C. and me in prison. We shorley had a happy meeting together, as we had not seen each other for aboute fifteen months, they receved me as their own child, and I them as my father and mother. Praise God for so many dear friends.

Aboute the 10 Jan^y. 1795, Mr. Diott sent for me to come to dine with him. I went with much fear and trembling, as it was ever a great cross to me to be with my great superiers, and so in every place I moved at a solam awe of the presance of God resting upon me with a fear to ofend him. There I meet with Mr. and Mrs. M., with all their loving famely, and through the tender mercy of God, after all our tryals and sufferings, being separated to nearley sixteen months from each other, escaped, through mercy, all the lyons in France, not one hair of our heads diminished. We staid there until evning, when Mr. Diot said, "I will in the course of a few days gitt you out of preson and you shall boath come to live at my house." We thanked him, wished good night, and arived at home with our gard aboute seven. So the 23 Jany. 1795, in the morning, we was boath librated. I went to Mr. Diot's, Mr. C. went with Mr. Morrow in the same town. Still pervision at that time very scarce to be had, the inhabitants of the town had all their provisions sarved out every day according to their famely. Without we had money we should not be able to gett board on any account. I was received into that famely as a king, treated as if I had been a nobleman, and being the laste strainger was placed at the head of the table, where I begged to be excused again and again, but could not prevail. But to the end of six or seven days I shifted to the other end, where I thought I was more in my place. I thought it then, as I have many times since, a piece of bread behind the kitchen door was more suitable for me. Praise be to God, here was a chainge again indeed. From a stable to a parlar, and from a parlar to a [...]. I eat mostimes my three meals, then for fear to be noticed, I always eat sparingly. I think I can say I allwayse rose up with a sharper apetite then I had when I sat down. I lodged in a large house to myself next dore to Mr. Diot's, where I had no person to desturb me day nor night. This was a blessed chainge again, it was just the place I would wish to be in. I was there aboute two or three weeks, when I saw sume things wanting to be done aboute two vessels that was laid up before my door, belonging to Mr. Diot. I spoak of it to Mr. Peter Diot, and went to work, and when the season sarved, I washed the decks morning and evening; and as I had a chest of carpentar's tools in the same room with me, made boats' oars, ruddars, painted names in the starn of the small boats, etc.; that I was mostly imployed all the week. But my wark not hard, as I was my own master, and I did it all volentary. And on the Sabbath day I went out of town evry morning and afternoon when the weather was fair in sume solatry place to read, pray, sing, and think, as I did in other places. I think it was aboute the midle of March 1795, Mr. M. was taken sick with fever and agas, and in the beginning of May 1795 went away with all his famely, leaving only the two maidens and me behind him. It was the 10 or 12 of June that I went to S^t. Paul's and Roscoff to see my old friends, where I was received like a king, and with[76] sume people I never had but very little acquaintance with. I had my time to my self as usual, only at [...] meals. I found the same solatry place as before, where I was brought to examine myself whether I was growing in grace or not [...] so I had a blessed time. I returned back again to Morlaix aboute the 26 or 27 June, 1795, like a jiant refreshed with new wine. There I was received again with that loving family with the greatest afection. Praise be unto God for so many dear friends. It was nearley aboute this time I went with aboute a half a score men to put a boat of Mr. Diot's in a large building that was before a tobacko manefactry in the shade, and after I had got the boat to the place I wanted, I went from the people to gett a cornar to myself to pray, and looking aboute I saw a large scales and weights close by me. I thought as no person saw me I would way myself, and all the weight my weight was 6 score and 15 pound.[77] I was set to wonder where all my weight was gone, as I did for many years before way 10 score, and when I came home I tried un a waistcoat that I had not worn for several years before, and I found it too big for me, may be upon the round nine inches, and I never know in all these years no not one single day of sickness. I think it was the 10 July, 1795, Capt^n. [...] the Capt^n. of a frigat that was taken, and Mr. Moress [...] of the "Elazander" man-of-mar, came to Morlaix in order to gett a passage to England in a vessel, who dined and supped at Mr. Diot's. They made very free with me all the same as if I was their equal, and one day, by a friend, desired me to call at their lodging, they wanted to speak with me. I went with fear and trembling, and the business was as follows. They said, "Mr. C., we have been talking about you, as you have been here so long a prisnor, wearing your old clothes out, your time passing away, earning nothing. We think you may go with us in safety. Put your clothes on board the evning before we sail, gett on board in the night, you'l never be inquired after, nither found wanting." I answerd to this purpas: "Jen^t., I thank you kindly, but first you'l give me leave to inform you I was brought out of prison upon Mr. Diot's interest, tho' he never sined any paper, nither gave his word that I should continue in the country. Notwithstanding that, in these critical times, if I was to go without his leave, he might be caled to an account for it after ward. If you will be so good as to ask Mr. Diot, and with his leave, I will gladly go with you." They commended me very much, and said the first opertunity they would ask him, and I should know of them again. In the course of two or three days I waited on them again. Mr. Morress said to me, "Well, Mr. C., we have opend your case to Mr. Diot. Mrs. [...], him long with you; he is a great fool to stop here so long as he have, I wounder how he have not gone long before now. But Mr. D. said you was best to stay a little longer," and added, "Mr. C., provedence has presarved and provided for you in a merciful manner, so I would advise you to wait with patience, and you will be deliverd in God's due time." I thanked them and took my leave of them, wondring where that should come from, for it was the words of a spiritual man. I went in one of my solatry cornars and there sung, and blessed and praised God. I can almoste feel at this moment how happy and thankfull I was, so well and contented equaly to stay as to go; and if it was the will of God, I should stay there all my lifetime, still, good is the will of the Lord, may His will be done.

So I continued to my work aboute the boats and vessels as before, walking in the same self-denial, until the 6 or 7 of Augst, 1795, when, unexpected, on Saturday received a letter from Mr. M——h to meet him at St. Paul's next monday, that he had obtained a pasport for himself, famely, and me to go to England, and Mr. Clansee was then at Brest, who had then got a nutral ship to take us home. Well, then, this was a great as well as unexpected news, and many times before then thought that I should be very glad and thankful if I ever lived to see such chainge. But it answered the same efect as every other change I passed through, a fear I should meet with anything that should obstruct my communan with the Lord, and this is my mening when you read of any case before, when I said I went in fear and trembling. So that on Munday morning I set out for S^t. Paul's in C^o. with Mrs. Diot and her two little children and two sarvants riding in a coach, and me on horseback, where we arrived at S^t. Paul's at ten in the morning, and there joind Mr. and Mrs. M. and their loving famely. Staid there untel Tuesday morning with my dear old friend and Mother, Madam Esel le Pleary, and set out for Landernau in C^o. with the two maidens. We arrived at Landernau aboute three in the after noon. Wensday morning breakfast with my two old friends, Mr. and Mad^m. Elel Renard, and old jen^t. and young lady, who was his daughter. We was many months prisonars togither, but then all librated, and they in their own house. Same morning took a boat, and at four in the afternoon arrived on board the ship in Brest harbar, where we met all the family together, the same ten of us that was stopped together through a merical of mercy in deed, and not one hair of our heads diminished. Praise be to God, here was another chainge. This ship was formerly an English frigate, then under Danish coulars, and the Capt^n. an English man. The first night I sleept on the cabin flooar covered with a great coat, then got a hammack [...] amongst the sailors. And when more people came on board, I went between decks, being [...] more quiat. I supose the whole numbar of pasengars was aboute fifty offesars in the army and navy, where I never was in such hurry and noise yet, in all the course of my life, nither to sea nor land. I was allwayse imploid in reading, in cooking, tending my famely to the table, etc. And there was a black boy, the sarvant to one of the officers, very ill moste of the time, and no person to do the leaste thing for him but myself onely. I had a quiat place between decks to lodge in and pray, so that no person desturbed me. I used the same self-denial as before. I have been often led to wonder many times since of the goodness of God, for all they were such wild, distracted, disapated souls, I never had the least tryal from one of them, nither one of the ship's company during the whole time. I could always bring any dish of meat from the cook to the cabin to my famely, and no person set the least hand on me; or if one of the others did, they was ready allmoste to kill one the other; and the Captain would trust me with the tea and shugar canestar, but not one person else on board. I have thought many times since aboute it, more than at that time through [...] d favour with God and man. We lay in Brest Roade nine days wind bound, and then got a fair wind to the Northward and westward [...] etc., arived at Falmouth 22 August, 1795. Arived onshore aboute three o'clock in the afternoon with much fear and trembling, where I meet with my dear little Bettsy, there staying with her aunt, Mrs. Smythe, then between 8 and 9 years old. In the evning went to prayer meeting in the great Chaple. I said sumething to the people, but found but little liberty. I thought the cause might have been after aboute three weeks exposed to so much noise and company, and for want of composure of mind, and likewayse so long a time out of the habit of exercising in that way. I have thought many times since, if I was ever dead to the world and to myself, I was then in them days. It matterd but little where my lott was cast, whether in prosperity or adversity, whether sickness or health, take life or all my friends away, I could trust boath soul and body, with every thing that I had, in to the hands of my great Creator without the leaste resarve. I have thought many times since in them days, tho' I did not know it then, that I had no will, or rather, of my own, but my will was loste in the will of God. It is now brought into my remembrance as the ship lyed to of Falmouth harbar, there was not boats enuf to carry all the pasangers and bagage at once, and I waited to the laste with two more, staid untel another boat should come, the wind blowing fresh from the westward. The Captain grew very impatient, looking out for a boat, and at laste said, "I shall not wait only a few minuts longer, and take you with me." One of these pasangers was making such a noise, allmoste ready to jump overboard, for fear to be card up Channel. I said to him, "Have a little patience, we shall have a boat in a little time now." He turned unto me in a very sulky manner, and said, "Who is like you, you are allwayse at home, you don't care where you are car'd." I smiled, said nothing, but rejoiced within, and said to myself, "You are saying the truth." And I thought if it was the will of the Lord that I should be car'd to Copenhagen, that good is the will of the Lord. So in the course of a few minits after saw a boate coming, and so all was well again. I have thought since them days, I mean, since the day that my soul was sanctified, that there did harley one thought pass through me unperseeved in all my waking moments when I was in company talking aboute the things of the world, or the things of God, when in private by myself, or acting of business, my spirit, as it were, was in a continual blaze of inward prayer. Well, then, I staid that night at Falmouth, the next morning went to Penryn with my dear little Bettsey in my hand, to see Mr. M——h and his loving family, who was then at Mrs. Scot. The next morning, on Sunday, took a horse and arived at Breage Church town[78] aboute eleven o'clock, where I meet my dear brother Frank, then in his way to Church. As I first took him in surprise, at first I could harley make him sensable I was his brother, being nearley two years without hearing whether I was dead or alife. But when he come to himself as it were, we rejoiced together with exceeding great joy indeed. We went to his house in Rinsey, and after dinner went to see brother John.[79] We sent him word before I was coming. But he could harley believe it, with the voice of, "How can these things be?" But first looking out with his glass saw me yet a long way off. Ran to meet me, fell upon my neck, and said in language like this, "This is my brother that was dead, but is alive again; he was loste, but is found." We passed the afternoon with him, and in the evning went to Keneggy to see brother Charles, where we meet with many tears of joy, and afterwards returned again to Rinsey in the evening, where we had all our conversation about Hevenly things, which was a treat indeed, after being so long silent on the subject.

WILLIAM BYLES AND SONS, PRINTERS, 129 FLEET STREET, LONDON, AND BRADFORD.

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