THE STORY TOLD BY THE SULTAN OF CASGAR'S PURVEYOR.

Sir, a person of quality invited me yesterday to his daughter's wedding; I went accordingly to his house at the hour appointed, and found there a large company of doctors, ministers of justice, and others of the best quality in the city. After the ceremony was over, we had a splendid treat; and, among other things set upon the table, there was a course with garlic sauce, which was very delicious and palatable to everybody; but we observed that one of the guests did not touch it, though it stood just before him, and thereupon we invited him to do as we did: he conjured us, however, not to press him upon that head. I will take care, said he, not to touch any thing that has garlic in it; I remember well what the tasting of such a thing cost me once before. We entreated him to tell us what was the occasion of his aversion to garlic; but before he had time to make answer, Is it thus, said the master of the house, that you honour my table? This ragoo is excellent, therefore do not you pretend to be excused from eating of it; you must do me that favour as well as the rest. Sir, said the gentleman, who was a Bagdad merchant, I hope you do not think that I refuse to eat of it out of mistaken nicety; if you will have me eat of it, I will do so; but upon this condition, that, after eating of it, I may wash my hands, by your leave, forty times with alcali[Footnote: This in English is called salt wort.*], forty times more with the ashes of the same plant, and forty times again with soap, I hope you will not take it ill that I stipulate so, as it is in pursuance of an oath I have made never to taste garlic without observing this rule. The master of the house would not dispense with the merchant from eating of the ragoo with garlic, and therefore ordered his servant to get ready a bason of water together with alcali, the ashes of the same plant, and soap, that the merchant might wash as often as he pleased. When every thing was got ready, Now, said he to the merchant, I hope you will do as we. The merchant, displeased with the violence that was offered him, reached out his hand to take a bit, which he put to his mouth trembling, and ate with a reluctance that surprised us all. But the greatest surprise was, that he had only four fingers and no thumb, which none of us observed before, though he had eaten of other dishes. You have lost your thumb, said the master of the house; how came that about? It must have been occasioned by some extraordinary accident, a relation of which will be an agreeable entertainment to the company. Sir, replied the merchant, I have not a thumb on either the right or left hand. He then showed us his left hand, as well as his right. But this is not all, continued he, I have not a great toe on either of my feet! I hope you will take my word for it. I was maimed in this manner by an unheard-of accident, which I am willing to relate to you, if you have the patience to hear me. The relation will equally astonish, and affect you with pity; but suffer me to wash my hands first. Upon this he rose from the table, and, after washing his hands an hundred and twenty times, took his place again, and thus proceeded:

You must know, gentlemen, that, in the reign of the caliph Haroun Alrasehid, my father lived at Bagdad, the place of my nativity, and was reputed one of the richest merchants in the city; but, being a man too much addicted to pleasure, one that loved an irregular life, and neglected his private affairs, instead of leaving me a plentiful fortune at his death, he left me in such a condition, that all my economy was scarcely sufficient to clear his debts. With much ado, however, I paid them all, and, through industry and care, my little fortune began to assume a smiling countenance.

One morning as I opened my shop, a lady mounted upon a mule, attended by an eunuch and two women slaves, stopped near my shop-door, and, with the assistance of the eunuch, alighted. Madam, said the eunuch, I said you would be too soon, you see there is nobody yet in the bezestein; if you had taken my advice, you might have saved yourself the trouble of waiting here. The lady looked around her, and finding there was no shop open but mine, addressed herself to me, asking leave to sit in my shop till the rest of the merchants came; of course I could do no less than return a civil answer, and invite the lady into my shop. She sat down in my shop, and, observing there was nobody in the whole bezestein save the eunuch and me, uncovered her face to take the air; and I must say I never saw any thing so pretty in my lifetime. I had no sooner a sight of her face than I loved her; of course I fixed my eyes upon her, and perceived that she was not displeased; for she gave me a full opportunity to look upon her, and did not cover her face till she was afraid of being taken notice of. Having let down her veil, she told me that she wanted several sorts of the richest and finest stuffs, and asked me if I had them? Alas! madam, said I, I am but a young man, just beginning the world, and have not stock enough for such great concerns; and it is a mortification to me that I have nothing to show you such as you want: but to save you the trouble of going from shop to shop, as soon as the merchants come, I will go, if you please, and fetch from them what you want, with the lowest prices; and so you may do your business without going any further. She complied with my proposal, and entered into discourse, which continued so much the longer, that I still made her believe that the merchants who could furnish what she wanted were not yet come.

I was charmed no less with her wit than I had been before with the beauty of her face; but there was a necessity for denying myself the pleasure of her conversation: I ran out to seek for the stuffs she wanted, and after she had pitched upon what she liked, we struck the price at five thousand drams of coined silver; so I wrapped up the stuffs in a small bundle, and gave it to the eunuch, who put it under his arm; after which, she rose and took leave. I still continued to look after her, till she had got to the bezestein gate; and mounted her mule again.

The lady had no sooner disappeared than I perceived that love was the cause of great oversights; it had so engrossed all my thoughts; that I did not recollect she had gone off without paying the money; nor had I the consideration to ask who she was, or where she dwelt. However, I considered that I was accountable for a large sum to the merchants, who, perhaps, would not have the patience to stay for their money; so I went to them, and made the best excuse I could, pretending that I knew the lady; but came home equally affected with love, and with the burden of such a heavy debt.

I had desired my creditors to stay eight days for their money, and, when the eight days were past, they did not fail to dun me; then I intreated them to give me eight days more, which they agreed to; and the very next day I saw the lady come to the bezestein, mounted on her mule, with the same attendants as before, and exactly at the same hour of the day. She came straight to my shop. I have made you stay some time, said she, but here is your money at last; carry it to a banker, and see that it is all good. The eunuch, who brought me the money, went along with me to the banker's, and we found it very right. I came back again, and had the happiness of conversing with the lady till all the shops in the bezestein were open: though we talked of ordinary things, she gave them such a turn, that they appeared new and uncommon, and convinced me that I was not mistaken in admiring her wit.

As soon as the merchants were come, and had opened their shops, I carried to the respective people the money due for their stuffs, and was readily intrusted with more which the lady had desired to see. In short, the lady took stuffs to the value of an hundred pieces of gold, and again carried them away without paying for them: nay, without saying one word, or informing me where she was. I was astonished when I considered that at this rate she left me without any security of not being troubled, if she never came back again. She has paid me, thinks I to myself, a good round sum, but she leaves me in the lurch for another that runs much deeper. Surely she cannot be a cheat; it is not possible she can have any design to inveigle me: the merchants do not know her, and will all come upon me. In short, my love was not so powerful as to remove the uneasiness I felt when I reflected upon all circumstances. A whole month passed before I heard any thing of the lady again; and during that time the alarm grew higher and higher every day. The merchants were impatient for their money; and, to satisfy them, I was even going to sell off all I had, when the lady returned one morning with the same equipage as before. Take your weights, said she, and weigh the gold I have brought you. These words dispelled my fear, and inflamed my love. Before we told down the money, she asked me several questions, and particularly if I was married? I made answer, I never was. Then reaching out the gold to the eunuch, let us have your interposition, said she, to accommodate our matters: upon which the eunuch fell a laughing, and, calling me aside, made me weigh the gold. While I was weighing, the eunuch whispered in my ear, I know by your eyes that you love this lady, and am surprised to find you have not the assurance to disclose your love to her: she loves you more passionately than you do her. Do you imagine that she has any real occasion for your stuffs? She only makes an errand to come hither, because you have inspired her with a violent passion. Do but ask her the question; it will be your fault if you do not marry her. It is true, said I, I have had a love for her from the first moment I cast my eyes upon her; but I did not aspire to the happiness of thinking my love acceptable to her. I am entirely hers, and shall not fail to retain a grateful sense of your good offices in that matter. In fine, I made an end of weighing the gold, and while I was putting it into the bag, the eunuch turned to the lady, and told her I was satisfied, that being the word they had both agreed upon between themselves. Presently after that, the lady rose and took leave; telling me she would send the eunuch to me, and that I should do what he directed me to do in her name.

I carried every one of the merchants their money, and waited some days with impatience for the eunuch. At last he came. I entertained him very kindly, and asked him how his mistress did? You are, said he, the happiest lover in the world; she is quite sick of love for you; she covets extremely to see you; and were she mistress of her own conduct, would not fail to come to you, and willingly pass every moment of her life in your company. Her noble mien and graceful carriage, said I, evinced that she was a lady beyond the common level. The judgement you have formed upon that head, said the eunuch, is very just; she is the favourite of Zobeide, the caliph's lady, who has brought her up from her infancy, and intrusts her with all her affairs. Having a mind to marry, she has declared to Zobeide that she has cast her eyes upon you, and desired her consent. Zobeide told her she agreed to it, only she had a mind to see you first, in order to judge whether she had made a good choice: if she had, Zobeide meant to defray the charges of the wedding. Thus you see your felicity is certain; since you have pleased the favourite, you will be equally agreeable to the mistress, who seeks only to oblige her favourite, and would by no means thwart her inclination. In fine, all you have to do is to come to the palace. I am sent hither to call you, so you will please to come to a resolution. My resolution is formed already, said I; and I am ready to follow you whithersoever you please to conduct me. Very well, said the eunuch; but you know that men are not allowed to enter the ladies' apartments in the palace, and so you must be introduced with great secrecy: the favourite lady has contrived the matter very well. Upon your side you are to act your part very discreetly; for if you do not, your life is at stake.

I gave him repeated assurances of a punctual performance of whatever should be enjoined me. Then, said he, in the evening you must be at the mosque built by the caliph's lady on the banks of the Tigris, and stay there till one comes to call you, I agreed to what he proposed; and, after passing the day in great impatience, went in the evening to the prayer that is said in an hour and an half after sunset in the mosque, and there I staid after the people were gone. Immediately I saw a boat making up to the mosque, the rowers of which were all eunuchs, who came on shore, and put several large trunks into the mosque, and then retired; only one of them remained, whom I perceived to be the same eunuch that had all along accompanied the lady, and had been with me that morning. About the same time, I saw the lady enter the mosque; and, making up to her, told her I was ready to obey her orders. Come, said she, we have no time to lose. With that she opened one of the trunks, and bid me get into it, that being necessary both for her safety and mine. Fear nothing, added she; leave the management of the rest to me. I considered that I had gone too far to look back, and so obeyed her orders; upon which she locked the trunk. This done, the eunuch who was her confident, called the other eunuchs who had brought in the trunks, and ordered them to carry them on board again; after which the lady and eunuch re-embarked, and the boatmen rowed to Zobeide's apartment. In the mean time, I reflected very seriously upon the danger to which I had exposed myself, and made vows and prayers, though it was then too late. The boat put into the palace-gate, and the trunks were carried into the apartment of the officer of the eunuchs, who keeps the key of the ladies' apartments, and suffers nothing to enter without a narrow inspection. The officer was then in bed, consequently there was a necessity for calling him. He was angry that they should break his rest, and chid the favourite lady severely for coming home so late: You shall not come off so easily as you think; for, said he, not one of these trunks shall pass till I have opened every one of them. He then commanded the eunuchs to bring them before him, and open them one by one. The first they began with was that in which I lay; so that I was in the last degree of consternation.

The favourite lady, who had the key of the trunk, protested it should not be opened. You know very well, said she, I bring nothing hither but what is to serve Zobeide, your mistress and mine. This trunk, continued she, is filled with rich goods I had from some merchants lately arrived, besides a number of bottles of Zemzem water [Footnote: There is a fountain at Mecca, which, according to the Mahometans, is a spring that God showed to Hagar after Abraham was obliged to put her away. The water of this spring is drank by way of devotion, and is sent in presents to the princes and princesses.] sent from Mecca; if any of these should happen to break, the goods will be spoiled, and you must answer for them. Zobeide will take care, I warrant you, to resent your insolence. In fine, she stood up so tight to the matter, that the officer did not dare to take upon him to open any of the trunks. Let me go then, said he, carry them off. Immediately the lady's apartment was opened, and the trunks were carried in. They were scarcely got in, when all of a sudden I heard a cry, Here is the caliph, here comes the caliph. This put me in such a fright, that I wonder I did not die upon the spot, for it was actually the caliph. What hast thou got in these trunks? said he to the favourite. Some stuffs, said she, lately arrived, which your majesty's lady had a mind to see. Open them, cried he, and let me see them too. She pretended to excuse herself, alleging that the stuffs were only proper for ladies, and that by opening them his lady would be deprived of the pleasure of seeing them first. I say, open them, cried the caliph; I have a mind to see them, and shall see them. She still represented that her mistress would be angry with her if she opened them. No, no, said he, I will engage she shall not say a word to you for so doing; come, open them, I cannot stop. There was a necessity of obeying, which gave me such shocking alarms, that I trembled every time I thought on it. Down sat the caliph; and the favourite ordered all the trunks to be brought before him, one after another. Then she opened them; and, to spin out the time, showed all the beauties of each particular stuff, thinking thereby to tire out his patience; but her stratagem did not take. Being as loath as I to have the trunk where I lay open, she left that till the last. So when all the rest were viewed, Come, says the caliph, make an end; let us see what is in that one. I am at a loss to tell you whether I was dead or alive at that moment, for I little thought of escaping so great a danger.

When Zobeide's favourite saw that the caliph would needs have the trunk opened where I lay, As for this trunk, says she, your majesty will please to dispense with the opening of it; there are some things in it which I cannot show you unless your lady be by. Well, well, says the caliph, since it is so, I am satisfied; order the trunks to be carried away. The word was no sooner spoken, than the trunks were removed into her chamber, where I began to come to life again.

As soon as the eunuchs who had brought them were gone, she presently opened the trunk where I was prisoner. Come out, said she, go up these stairs that lead to an upper room, and stay there till I come. The door which led to the stairs she locked after I was in; and that was no sooner done than the caliph came and clapped him down upon the very trunk wherein I had been. The occasion of this visit was a motion of curiosity that did not respect me. He had a mind to discourse the lady about what she had seen or heard in the city. So they discoursed together a pretty while, after which he left her, and retired to his apartment. When she found the coast clear, she came to the chamber where I was, and made many apologies for the alarms she had given me. My uneasiness, said she, was no less than yours; you cannot well doubt of that, since I have run the same risk from love to you; perhaps another would not have had the presence of mind to manage matters so dexterously upon so tender an occasion; nothing less than the love I had for you could have inspired me with courage to do it. But come, take heart, now the danger is over. After some tender discourse between us, she told me it was time to go to bed, and that she would not fail to introduce me to Zobeide, her mistress, to-morrow, some hour of the day; for the caliph never sees her, added she, but at nights. Heartened by these words, I slept very well; or at least, whatever interruptions happened were agreeable disquietings, caused by the hopes of enjoying a lady blessed with such sparkling wit and beauty.

The next day, before I was introduced to Zobeide, her favourite instructed me how to behave, naming nearly the same questions as she put to me, and dictating the answers I was to give. This done, she carried me into a very magnificent and richly furnished hall: I had no sooner entered, than twenty female slaves, in rich and uniform habits, came out of Zobeide's apartment, and placed themselves very modestly before the throne in two equal rows: they were followed by twenty other ladies who looked younger, and were clothed after the same manner, though their habits appeared somewhat gayer. In the middle of these appeared Zobeide, with a majestic air, and so loaded with jewels, that she could scarcely walk. Zobeide then went and sat down on the throne, and the favourite lady, who had accompanied her, just by her, on her right hand; the other ladies being placed at some distance on each side of the throne.

The caliph's lady having sat down, the slaves who came in first made a sign for me to approach: I advanced between the rows they had formed, and prostrated myself upon the tapestry under the princess's feet. She ordered me to rise, and did me the honour to ask my name, my family, and the condition of my fortune; to all which I gave her satisfactory answers, as I perceived not only by her countenance, but by her words. I am very glad, said she, that my daughter (so she used to call the favourite lady, looking upon her as such, after the care she had taken of her education) has made a choice that pleases me; I approve of it, and give consent to your marriage: I shall give orders myself for what is to be done in solemnizing it, but I wish her to stay ten davs with me before the solemnity; and in that time I will speak to the caliph, and obtain his consent; mean while do you stay here, you shall be taken care of. Accordingly I staid ten days in the ladies' apartments, and during that time was deprived of the pleasure of seeing the favourite lady; but was so well used, by her orders, that I had no reason to be dissatisfied.

Zobeide told the caliph her resolution of marrying the favourite lady; and he, leaving to her the liberty of doing upon that head as she pleased, granted the favourite a considerable sum to help her fortune. When the ten days were expired, Zobeide ordered the contract of marriage to be drawn up; and the necessary preparations being made for the solemnity, the dancers, (both men and women) were called in, and rejoicings continued in the palace nine days. The tenth day being appointed for the last ceremony of the marriage, the favourite lady was conducted to a bath, and I to another. At night I sat down at table, and had all manner of rarities served up to me, and, among other things ragoo with garlic, such as you have now forced me to eat of. This ragoo I liked so well, that I scarcely touched any other of the dishes. But such was my unhappiness, that when I rose from the table, I only wiped my hands instead of washing them well; a piece of negligence of which I had never before been guilty. Though it was night, the whole apartment of the ladies was as light as day, by means of illuminations. Nothing was to be heard in the palace but music and acclamations of joy. My bride and I were introduced into a great hall, where we were placed upon two thrones. The women who attended her made her shift herself several times, and painted her face with different sorts of colours, according to the usual custom on wedding- days; and every time she changed her habit, they exposed her to my view.

After these ceremonies, we were conducted to the wedding- room, and, as soon as the company retired, I approached to embrace my mistress, but, instead of answering me with transports, she shoved me off, and cried out most fearfully; upon which all the ladies of the apartment came running into the chamber to know what she cried for; and, for my own part, I was so thunderstruck, that I stood, without the power of so much as asking what she meant by it. Dear sister, said they to her, what is the matter? Let us know it, that we may try to relieve you. Take, said she, out of my sight that vile fellow. Why, madam, said I, wherein have I deserved your displeasure? You are a villain, said she, furiously: what, to eat garlic, and not wash your hands! Do you think that I would suffer such a filthy fellow to touch me? Down with him, down with him upon the ground, continued she, addressing herself to the ladies; and pray let me have a good bull's pizzle. In short, I was thrown down upon the ground, and while some held my hands, and others my feet, my wife, who was presently furnished with a weapon, laid on me most unmercifully, till I could scarcely breathe: then she said to the ladies, Take him, send him to the justiciary judge, and let the hand be cut off with which he fed upon the garlic ragoo. God bless my soul, cried I, must I be beat, bruised, unmercifully mauled, and, to complete my affliction, have my hand cut off, for eating of a ragoo with garlic, and forgetting to wash my hands? What proportion is there between the punishment and the crime? Plague on the ragoo, plague on the cook that dressed it, and may he be equally unhappy that served it up!

All the ladies that were by took pity on me, when they heard the cutting off of my hand spoken of. Dear madam, dear sister, said they to the favourite lady, you carry your resentment too far. We own he is a man quite ignorant of the world, that he does not observe your quality, and the regards that are due to you; but we beseech you to overlook and pardon the fault he has committed. I have not received suitable satisfaction, said she; I will teach him to know the world, make him bear the sensible marks of his impertinence, and be cautious hereafter how he tastes a garlic ragoo without washing his hands. However, they still continued their solicitations, and fell down at her feet, and kissing her fair hand, Good madam, said they, in the name of God, moderate your wrath, and grant the favour we request. She answered never a word, but got up, and, after throwing out a thousand hard words against me, walked out of the chamber, with the ladies, leaving me in inconceivable affliction.

I continued here ten days, without seeing any body but an old woman-slave who brought me victuals. I asked the old woman what was become of the favourite lady? She is sick, said the old woman, of the poisoned smell you infected her with. Why did you not take care to wash your hands after eating of that cursed ragoo? Is it possible, thought I to myself, that these ladies can be so nice and vindictive for so small a fault? In the mean time I loved my wife, notwithstanding all her cruelty. One day the old woman told me that my spouse was recovered and gone to bathe, and would come to see me the next day; so, said she, I would have you to call up your patience, and endeavour to accommodate yourself to her humour. Besides, she is a woman of good sense and discretion, and entirely beloved by all the ladies about Zobeide's court. Accordingly my wife came next night, and accosted me thus: You see I am too good in seeing you again, after the affront you have offered me; but still I cannot stoop to be reconciled to you, till I have punished you according to your demerit, in not washing your hands after eating the garlic ragoo. This said, she called the ladies, who, by her order, threw me upon the ground, and, after binding me fast, had the barbarity to cut off my thumbs and great toes with a razor. One of the ladies applied a certain root to staunch the blood; but by the bleeding and pain I swooned away. When I came to myself, they gave me wine to drink to recruit my strength. Ah! madam, said I to my wife, if ever I eat of garlic ragoo again, I solemnly swear to wash my hands an hundred and twenty times with the herb alcali, with the ashes of the same plant, and with soap. Well, replied my wife, upon that condition I am willing to forget what is past, and live with you as my husband. This, continued the Bagdad merchant, addressing himself to the company, is the reason why I refused to eat of the garlic ragoo now upon the table.

To make an end of the Bagdad merchant's story, the ladies, said he, applied to my wounds, not only the root I mentioned to you but likewise some balsam of Mecca, which they were morally assured was not adulterated, because they had it from the caliph's own dispensatory; by virtue of that admirable balsam I was perfectly cured in a few days, and my wife and I lived together as agreeably as if I had never eaten of the garlic ragoo. But having been all my lifetime used to the liberty of ranging abroad, I was very uneasy at being confined to the caliph's palace, and yet said nothing of it to my wife, from a fear of displeasing her. She smelt it, however; and wanted nothing more herself than to get out, for it was gratitude alone that made her continue with Zobeide. In fine, being a very witty woman, she represented, in lively terms, to her mistress, the constraint I was under in not living in the city with my fellow-companions, as I had always done: this she did so effectually, that the good princess chose rather to deprive herself of the pleasure of having her favourite about her, than not to grant what she desired. Accordingly, about a month after our marriage, my wife came into my room with several eunuchs, each carrying a bag of silver. When the eunuchs were gone, You never told me, said she, that you were uneasy in being confined to court, but I perceived it very well, and have happily found means to make you contented. My mistress Zobeide gives us leave to go out of the palace, and here are fifty thousand sequins, of which she has made us a present, in order to enable us to live comfortable in the city. Take ten thousand of them, and go and buy us a house, I soon purchased a house; and, after furnishing it richly, we went and lived in it, and kept a great many slaves of both sexes, with a very pretty equipage. In short, we began to live in a very agreeable manner, which did not last long, for at a year's end my wife fell sick and died. I might have married again, and lived honourably at Bagdad; but ambition to see the world put me upon other thoughts. I sold my house, and, after buying up several sorts of goods, went with a caravan to Persia; from Persia I travelled to Samarcande, and from thence hither.

This, said the purveyor to the sultan of Casgar, is the story that the Bagdad merchant told in a company where I was yesterday. This story, said the sultan, has something extraordinary in it, but it does not come near that of my little Hunchback. Then the jewish physician prostrated himself before the sultan's throne, and rising again, addressed himself to that prince in the following manner: Sir, if you will be so good as to hear me, I flatter myself you will be pleased with a story I have to tell you. Well spoken, said the sultan; but if it is not more surprising than that of little Hunch-back, do not you expect to live. The physician, finding the sultan of Casgar disposed to hear him, gave the following relation: