DEMOCRITUS JUNIOR TO THE READER. (continued 3)
Reading edition
What Carolus Magnus, the Chinese, the Spaniards, the duke of Saxony and many other states have decreed in this case, read Arniseus, cap. 19; Boterus, libro 8, cap. 2; Osorius de Rubus gest. Eman. lib. 11. When a country is overstocked with people, as a pasture is oft overlaid with cattle, they had wont in former times to disburden themselves, by sending out colonies, or by wars, as those old Romans; or by employing them at home about some public buildings, as bridges, roadways, for which those Romans were famous in this island; as Augustus Caesar did in Rome, the Spaniards in their Indian mines, as at Potosi in Peru, where some 30,000 men are still at work, 6000 furnaces ever boiling, &c. [578]aqueducts, bridges, havens, those stupend works of Trajan, Claudius, at [579]Ostium, Dioclesiani Therma, Fucinus Lacus, that Piraeum in Athens, made by Themistocles, ampitheatrums of curious marble, as at Verona, Civitas Philippi, and Heraclea in Thrace, those Appian and Flaminian ways, prodigious works all may witness; and rather than they should be [580]idle, as those [581] Egyptian Pharaohs, Maris, and Sesostris did, to task their subjects to build unnecessary pyramids, obelisks, labyrinths, channels, lakes, gigantic works all, to divert them from rebellion, riot, drunkenness, [582]Quo scilicet alantur et ne vagando laborare desuescant.
Another eyesore is that want of conduct and navigable rivers, a great blemish as [583]Boterus, [584]Hippolitus a Collibus, and other politicians hold, if it be neglected in a commonwealth. Admirable cost and charge is bestowed in the Low Countries on this behalf, in the duchy of Milan, territory of Padua, in [585]France, Italy, China, and so likewise about corrivations of water to moisten and refresh barren grounds, to drain fens, bogs, and moors. Massinissa made many inward parts of Barbary and Numidia in Africa, before his time incult and horrid, fruitful and bartable by this means. Great industry is generally used all over the eastern countries in this kind, especially in Egypt, about Babylon and Damascus, as Vertomannus and [586]Gotardus Arthus relate; about Barcelona, Segovia, Murcia, and many other places of Spain, Milan in Italy; by reason of which, their soil is much impoverished, and infinite commodities arise to the inhabitants.
The Turks of late attempted to cut that Isthmus betwixt Africa and Asia, which [587]Sesostris and Darius, and some Pharaohs of Egypt had formerly undertaken, but with ill success, as [588]Diodorus Siculus records, and Pliny, for that Red Sea being three [589]cubits higher than Egypt, would have drowned all the country, caepto destiterant, they left off; yet as the same [590]Diodorus writes, Ptolemy renewed the work many years after, and absolved in it a more opportune place.
That Isthmus of Corinth was likewise undertaken to be made navigable by Demetrius, by Julius Caesar, Nero, Domitian, Herodes Atticus, to make a speedy [591]passage, and less dangerous, from the Ionian and Aegean seas; but because it could not be so well effected, the Peloponnesians built a wall like our Picts' wall about Schaenute, where Neptune's temple stood, and in the shortest cut over the Isthmus, of which Diodorus, lib. 11. Herodotus, lib. 8. Uran. Our latter writers call it Hexamilium, which Amurath the Turk demolished, the Venetians, anno 1453, repaired in 15 days with 30,000 men. Some, saith Acosta, would have a passage cut from Panama to Nombre de Dios in America; but Thuanus and Serres the French historians speak of a famous aqueduct in France, intended in Henry the Fourth's time, from the Loire to the Seine, and from Rhodanus to the Loire. The like to which was formerly assayed by Domitian the emperor, [592]from Arar to Moselle, which Cornelius Tacitus speaks of in the 13 of his annals, after by Charles the Great and others. Much cost hath in former times been bestowed in either new making or mending channels of rivers, and their passages, (as Aurelianus did by Tiber to make it navigable to Rome, to convey corn from Egypt to the city, vadum alvei tumentis effodit saith Vopiscus, et Tiberis ripas extruxit he cut fords, made banks, &c.) decayed havens, which Claudius the emperor with infinite pains and charges attempted at Ostia, as I have said, the Venetians at this day to preserve their city; many excellent means to enrich their territories, have been fostered, invented in most provinces of Europe, as planting some Indian plants amongst us, silkworms, [593]the very mulberry leaves in the plains of Granada yield 30,000 crowns per annum to the king of Spain's coffers, besides those many trades and artificers that are busied about them in the kingdom of Granada, Murcia, and all over Spain. In France a great benefit is raised by salt, &c., whether these things might not be as happily attempted with us, and with like success, it may be controverted, silkworms (I mean) vines, fir trees, &c. Cardan exhorts Edward the Sixth to plant olives, and is fully persuaded they would prosper in this island. With us, navigable rivers are most part neglected; our streams are not great, I confess, by reason of the narrowness of the island, yet they run smoothly and even, not headlong, swift, or amongst rocks and shelves, as foaming Rhodanus and Loire in France, Tigris in Mesopotamia, violent Durius in Spain, with cataracts and whirlpools, as the Rhine, and Danubius, about Shaffausen, Lausenburgh, Linz, and Cremmes, to endanger navigators; or broad shallow, as Neckar in the Palatinate, Tibris in Italy; but calm and fair as Arar in France, Hebrus in Macedonia, Eurotas in Laconia, they gently glide along, and might as well be repaired many of them (I mean Wye, Trent, Ouse, Thamisis at Oxford, the defect of which we feel in the mean time) as the river of Lee from Ware to London. B. Atwater of old, or as some will Henry I. [594]made a channel from Trent to Lincoln, navigable; which now, saith Mr. Camden, is decayed, and much mention is made of anchors, and such like monuments found about old [595]Verulamium, good ships have formerly come to Exeter, and many such places, whose channels, havens, ports are now barred and rejected. We contemn this benefit of carriage by waters, and are therefore compelled in the inner parts of this island, because portage is so dear, to eat up our commodities ourselves, and live like so many boars in a sty, for want of vent and utterance.
We have many excellent havens, royal havens, Falmouth, Portsmouth, Milford, &c. equivalent if not to be preferred to that Indian Havana, old Brundusium in Italy, Aulis in Greece, Ambracia in Acarnia, Suda in Crete, which have few ships in them, little or no traffic or trade, which have scarce a village on them, able to bear great cities, sed viderint politici. I could here justly tax many other neglects, abuses, errors, defects among us, and in other countries, depopulations, riot, drunkenness, &c. and many such, quae nunc in aurem susurrare, non libet. But I must take heed, ne quid gravius dicam, that I do not overshoot myself, Sus Minervam, I am forth of my element, as you peradventure suppose; and sometimes veritas odium parit, as he said, “verjuice and oatmeal is good for a parrot.” For as Lucian said of an historian, I say of a politician. He that will freely speak and write, must be for ever no subject, under no prince or law, but lay out the matter truly as it is, not caring what any can, will, like or dislike.
We have good laws, I deny not, to rectify such enormities, and so in all other countries, but it seems not always to good purpose. We had need of some general visitor in our age, that should reform what is amiss; a just army of Rosy-cross men, for they will amend all matters (they say) religion, policy, manners, with arts, sciences, &c. Another Attila, Tamerlane, Hercules, to strive with Achelous, Augeae stabulum purgare, to subdue tyrants, as [596]he did Diomedes and Busiris: to expel thieves, as he did Cacus and Lacinius: to vindicate poor captives, as he did Hesione: to pass the torrid zone, the deserts of Libya, and purge the world of monsters and Centaurs: or another Theban Crates to reform our manners, to compose quarrels and controversies, as in his time he did, and was therefore adored for a god in Athens. “As Hercules [597]purged the world of monsters, and subdued them, so did he fight against envy, lust, anger, avarice, &c. and all those feral vices and monsters of the mind.” It were to be wished we had some such visitor, or if wishing would serve, one had such a ring or rings, as Timolaus desired in [598]Lucian, by virtue of which he should be as strong as 10,000 men, or an army of giants, go invisible, open gates and castle doors, have what treasure he would, transport himself in an instant to what place he desired, alter affections, cure all manner of diseases, that he might range over the world, and reform all distressed states and persons, as he would himself. He might reduce those wandering Tartars in order, that infest China on the one side, Muscovy, Poland, on the other; and tame the vagabond Arabians that rob and spoil those eastern countries, that they should never use more caravans, or janissaries to conduct them. He might root out barbarism out of America, and fully discover Terra Australis Incognita, find out the north-east and north-west passages, drain those mighty Maeotian fens, cut down those vast Hircinian woods, irrigate those barren Arabian deserts, &c. cure us of our epidemical diseases, scorbutum, plica, morbus Neapolitanus, &c. end all our idle controversies, cut off our tumultuous desires, inordinate lusts, root out atheism, impiety, heresy, schism and superstition, which now so crucify the world, catechise gross ignorance, purge Italy of luxury and riot, Spain of superstition and jealousy, Germany of drunkenness, all our northern country of gluttony and intemperance, castigate our hard-hearted parents, masters, tutors; lash disobedient children, negligent servants, correct these spendthrifts and prodigal sons, enforce idle persons to work, drive drunkards off the alehouse, repress thieves, visit corrupt and tyrannizing magistrates, &c. But as L. Licinius taxed Timolaus, you may us. These are vain, absurd and ridiculous wishes not to be hoped: all must be as it is, [599]Bocchalinus may cite commonwealths to come before Apollo, and seek to reform the world itself by commissioners, but there is no remedy, it may not be redressed, desinent homines tum demum stultescere quando esse desinent, so long as they can wag their beards, they will play the knaves and fools.
Because, therefore, it is a thing so difficult, impossible, and far beyond Hercules labours to be performed; let them be rude, stupid, ignorant, incult, lapis super lapidem sedeat, and as the [600]apologist will, resp. tussi, et graveolentia laboret, mundus vitio, let them be barbarous as they are, let them [601]tyrannise, epicurise, oppress, luxuriate, consume themselves with factions, superstitions, lawsuits, wars and contentions, live in riot, poverty, want, misery; rebel, wallow as so many swine in their own dung, with Ulysses' companions, stultos jubeo esse libenter. I will yet, to satisfy and please myself, make an Utopia of mine own, a new Atlantis, a poetical commonwealth of mine own, in which I will freely domineer, build cities, make laws, statutes, as I list myself. And why may I not?—[602]Pictoribus atque poetis, &c. You know what liberty poets ever had, and besides, my predecessor Democritus was a politician, a recorder of Abdera, a law maker as some say; and why may not I presume so much as he did? Howsoever I will adventure. For the site, if you will needs urge me to it, I am not fully resolved, it may be in Terra Australi Incognita, there is room enough (for of my knowledge neither that hungry Spaniard, [603]nor Mercurius Britannicus, have yet discovered half of it) or else one of these floating islands in Mare del Zur, which like the Cyanian isles in the Euxine sea, alter their place, and are accessible only at set times, and to some few persons; or one of the fortunate isles, for who knows yet where, or which they are? there is room enough in the inner parts of America, and northern coasts of Asia. But I will choose a site, whose latitude shall be 45 degrees (I respect not minutes) in the midst of the temperate zone, or perhaps under the equator, that [604]paradise of the world, ubi semper virens laurus, &c. where is a perpetual spring: the longitude for some reasons I will conceal. Yet “be it known to all men by these presents,” that if any honest gentleman will send in so much money, as Cardan allows an astrologer for casting a nativity, he shall be a sharer, I will acquaint him with my project, or if any worthy man will stand for any temporal or spiritual office or dignity, (for as he said of his archbishopric of Utopia, 'tis sanctus ambitus, and not amiss to be sought after,) it shall be freely given without all intercessions, bribes, letters, &c. his own worth shall be the best spokesman; and because we shall admit of no deputies or advowsons, if he be sufficiently qualified, and as able as willing to execute the place himself, be shall have present possession. It shall be divided into 12 or 13 provinces, and those by hills, rivers, roadways, or some more eminent limits exactly bounded. Each province shall have a metropolis, which shall be so placed as a centre almost in a circumference, and the rest at equal distances, some 12 Italian miles asunder, or thereabout, and in them shall be sold all things necessary for the use of man; statis horis et diebus, no market towns, markets or fairs, for they do but beggar cities (no village shall stand above 6, 7, or 8 miles from a city) except those emporiums which are by the sea side, general staples, marts, as Antwerp, Venice, Bergen of old, London, &c. cities most part shall be situated upon navigable rivers or lakes, creeks, havens; and for their form, regular, round, square, or long square, [605]with fair, broad, and straight [606]streets, houses uniform, built of brick and stone, like Bruges, Brussels, Rhegium Lepidi, Berne in Switzerland, Milan, Mantua, Crema, Cambalu in Tartary, described by M. Polus, or that Venetian Palma. I will admit very few or no suburbs, and those of baser building, walls only to keep out man and horse, except it be in some frontier towns, or by the sea side, and those to be fortified [607] after the latest manner of fortification, and situated upon convenient havens, or opportune places. In every so built city, I will have convenient churches, and separate places to bury the dead in, not in churchyards; a citadella (in some, not all) to command it, prisons for offenders, opportune market places of all sorts, for corn, meat, cattle, fuel, fish, commodious courts of justice, public halls for all societies, bourses, meeting places, armouries, [608]in which shall be kept engines for quenching of fire, artillery gardens, public walks, theatres, and spacious fields allotted for all gymnastic sports, and honest recreations, hospitals of all kinds, for children, orphans, old folks, sick men, mad men, soldiers, pest-houses, &c. not built precario, or by gouty benefactors, who, when by fraud and rapine they have extorted all their lives, oppressed whole provinces, societies, &c. give something to pious uses, build a satisfactory alms-house, school or bridge, &c. at their last end, or before perhaps, which is no otherwise than to steal a goose, and stick down a feather, rob a thousand to relieve ten; and those hospitals so built and maintained, not by collections, benevolences, donaries, for a set number, (as in ours,) just so many and no more at such a rate, but for all those who stand in need, be they more or less, and that ex publico aerario, and so still maintained, non nobis solum nati sumus, &c. I will have conduits of sweet and good water, aptly disposed in each town, common [609] granaries, as at Dresden in Misnia, Stetein in Pomerland, Noremberg, &c. Colleges of mathematicians, musicians, and actors, as of old at Labedum in Ionia, [610]alchemists, physicians, artists, and philosophers: that all arts and sciences may sooner be perfected and better learned; and public historiographers, as amongst those ancient [611]Persians, qui in commentarios referebant quae memoratu digna gerebantur, informed and appointed by the state to register all famous acts, and not by each insufficient scribbler, partial or parasitical pedant, as in our times. I will provide public schools of all kinds, singing, dancing, fencing, &c. especially of grammar and languages, not to be taught by those tedious precepts ordinarily used, but by use, example, conversation, [612]as travellers learn abroad, and nurses teach their children: as I will have all such places, so will I ordain [613]public governors, fit officers to each place, treasurers, aediles, quaestors, overseers of pupils, widows' goods, and all public houses, &c. and those once a year to make strict accounts of all receipts, expenses, to avoid confusion, et sic fiet ut non absumant (as Pliny to Trajan,) quad pudeat dicere. They shall be subordinate to those higher officers and governors of each city, which shall not be poor tradesmen, and mean artificers, but noblemen and gentlemen, which shall be tied to residence in those towns they dwell next, at such set times and seasons: for I see no reason (which [614]Hippolitus complains of) “that it should be more dishonourable for noblemen to govern the city than the country, or unseemly to dwell there now, than of old.” [615]I will have no bogs, fens, marshes, vast woods, deserts, heaths, commons, but all enclosed; (yet not depopulated, and therefore take heed you mistake me not) for that which is common, and every man's, is no man's; the richest countries are still enclosed, as Essex, Kent, with us, &c. Spain, Italy; and where enclosures are least in quantity, they are best [616]husbanded, as about Florence in Italy, Damascus in Syria, &c. which are liker gardens than fields. I will not have a barren acre in all my territories, not so much as the tops of mountains: where nature fails, it shall be supplied by art: [617]lakes and rivers shall not be left desolate. All common highways, bridges, banks, corrivations of waters, aqueducts, channels, public works, buildings, &c. out of a [618]common stock, curiously maintained and kept in repair; no depopulations, engrossings, alterations of wood, arable, but by the consent of some supervisors that shall be appointed for that purpose, to see what reformation ought to be had in all places, what is amiss, how to help it, et quid quaeque ferat regio, et quid quaeque recuset, what ground is aptest for wood, what for corn, what for cattle, gardens, orchards, fishponds, &c. with a charitable division in every village, (not one domineering house greedily to swallow up all, which is too common with us) what for lords, [619]what for tenants; and because they shall be better encouraged to improve such lands they hold, manure, plant trees, drain, fence, &c. they shall have long leases, a known rent, and known fine to free them from those intolerable exactions of tyrannizing landlords. These supervisors shall likewise appoint what quantity of land in each manor is fit for the lord's demesnes, [620]what for holding of tenants, how it ought to be husbanded, ut [621]magnetis equis, Minyae gens cognita remis, how to be manured, tilled, rectified, [622]hic segetes veniunt, illic felicius uvae, arborei foetus alibi, atque injussa virescunt Gramina, and what proportion is fit for all callings, because private professors are many times idiots, ill husbands, oppressors, covetous, and know not how to improve their own, or else wholly respect their own, and not public good.
Utopian parity is a kind of government, to be wished for, [623]rather than effected, Respub. Christianopolitana, Campanella's city of the Sun, and that new Atlantis, witty fictions, but mere chimeras; and Plato's community in many things is impious, absurd and ridiculous, it takes away all splendour and magnificence. I will have several orders, degrees of nobility, and those hereditary, not rejecting younger brothers in the mean time, for they shall be sufficiently provided for by pensions, or so qualified, brought up in some honest calling, they shall be able to live of themselves. I will have such a proportion of ground belonging to every barony, he that buys the land shall buy the barony, he that by riot consumes his patrimony, and ancient demesnes, shall forfeit his honours. [624]As some dignities shall be hereditary, so some again by election, or by gift (besides free officers, pensions, annuities,) like our bishoprics, prebends, the Bassa's palaces in Turkey, the [625]procurator's houses and offices in Venice, which, like the golden apple, shall be given to the worthiest, and best deserving both in war and peace, as a reward of their worth and good service, as so many goals for all to aim at, (honos alit artes) and encouragements to others. For I hate these severe, unnatural, harsh, German, French, and Venetian decrees, which exclude plebeians from honours, be they never so wise, rich, virtuous, valiant, and well qualified, they must not be patricians, but keep their own rank, this is naturae bellum inferre, odious to God and men, I abhor it. My form of government shall be monarchical.
[626]nunquam libertas gratior extat, Quam sub Rege pio, &c.
few laws, but those severely kept, plainly put down, and in the mother tongue, that every man may understand. Every city shall have a peculiar trade or privilege, by which it shall be chiefly maintained:
and parents shall teach their children one of three at least, bring up and instruct them in the mysteries of their own trade. In each town these several tradesmen shall be so aptly disposed, as they shall free the rest from danger or offence: fire-trades, as smiths, forge-men, brewers, bakers, metal-men, &c., shall dwell apart by themselves: dyers, tanners, fellmongers, and such as use water in convenient places by themselves: noisome or fulsome for bad smells, as butchers' slaughterhouses, chandlers, curriers, in remote places, and some back lanes. Fraternities and companies, I approve of, as merchants' bourses, colleges of druggists, physicians, musicians, &c., but all trades to be rated in the sale of wares, as our clerks of the market do bakers and brewers; corn itself, what scarcity soever shall come, not to extend such a price. Of such wares as are transported or brought in,
if they be necessary, commodious, and such as nearly concern man's life, as corn, wood, coal, &c., and such provision we cannot want, I will have little or no custom paid, no taxes; but for such things as are for pleasure, delight, or ornament, as wine, spice, tobacco, silk, velvet, cloth of gold, lace, jewels, &c., a greater impost. I will have certain ships sent out for new discoveries every year,
and some discreet men appointed to travel into all neighbouring kingdoms by land, which shall observe what artificial inventions and good laws are in other countries, customs, alterations, or aught else, concerning war or peace, which may tend to the common good. Ecclesiastical discipline,
penes Episcopos
, subordinate as the other. No impropriations, no lay patrons of church livings, or one private man, but common societies, corporations, &c., and those rectors of benefices to be chosen out of the Universities, examined and approved, as the literati in China. No parish to contain above a thousand auditors. If it were possible, I would have such priest as should imitate Christ, charitable lawyers should love their neighbours as themselves, temperate and modest physicians, politicians contemn the world, philosophers should know themselves, noblemen live honestly, tradesmen leave lying and cozening, magistrates corruption, &c., but this is impossible, I must get such as I may. I will therefore have
of lawyers, judges, advocates, physicians, chirurgeons, &c., a set number,
and every man, if it be possible, to plead his own cause, to tell that tale to the judge which he doth to his advocate, as at Fez in Africa, Bantam, Aleppo, Ragusa,
suam quisque causam dicere tenetur
. Those advocates, chirurgeons, and
physicians, which are allowed to be maintained out of the
common treasury, no fees to be given or taken upon pain of losing their places; or if they do, very small fees, and when the
cause is fully ended.
He that sues any man shall put in a pledge, which if it be proved he hath wrongfully sued his adversary, rashly or maliciously, he shall forfeit, and lose. Or else before any suit begin, the plaintiff shall have his complaint approved by a set delegacy to that purpose; if it be of moment he shall be suffered as before, to proceed, if otherwise they shall determine it. All causes shall be pleaded
suppresso nomine
, the parties' names concealed, if some circumstances do not otherwise require. Judges and other officers shall be aptly disposed in each province, villages, cities, as common arbitrators to hear causes, and end all controversies, and those not single, but three at least on the bench at once, to determine or give sentence, and those again to sit by turns or lots, and not to continue still in the same office. No controversy to depend above a year, but without all delays and further appeals to be speedily despatched, and finally concluded in that time allotted. These and all other inferior magistrates to be chosen
as the literati in China, or by those exact suffrages of the
Venetians, and such again not to be eligible, or capable of magistracies, honours, offices, except they be sufficiently
qualified for learning, manners, and that by the strict approbation of deputed examiners:
first scholars to take place, then soldiers; for I am of Vigetius his opinion, a scholar deserves better than a soldier, because
Unius aetatis sunt quae fortiter fiunt, quae vero pro utilitate Reipub. scribuntur, aeterna
: a soldier's work lasts for an age, a scholar's for ever. If they
misbehave themselves, they shall be deposed, and accordingly punished, and whether their offices be annual
or otherwise, once a year they shall be called in question, and give an account; for men are partial and passionate, merciless, covetous, corrupt, subject to love, hate, fear, favour, &c.,
omne sub regno graviore regnum
: like Solon's Areopagites, or those Roman Censors, some shall visit others, and
be visited
invicem
themselves,
they shall oversee that no prowling officer, under colour of authority, shall insult over his inferiors, as so many wild beasts, oppress, domineer, flea, grind, or trample on, be partial or corrupt, but that there be
aequabile jus
, justice equally done, live as friends and brethren together; and which
Sesellius would have and so much desires in his kingdom of France, “a diapason and sweet harmony of kings, princes, nobles, and plebeians so mutually tied and involved in love, as well as laws and authority, as that they never disagree, insult, or encroach one upon another.” If any man deserve well in his office he shall be rewarded.
———quis enim virtutem amplectitur ipsam, Proemia si tollas?———[645]
He that invents anything for public good in any art or science, writes a treatise,
or performs any noble exploit, at home or abroad,
shall be accordingly enriched,
honoured, and preferred. I say with Hannibal in Ennius,
Hostem qui feriet erit mihi Carthaginensis
, let him be of what condition he will, in all offices, actions, he that deserves best shall have best.
Tilianus in Philonius, out of a charitable mind no doubt, wished all his books were gold and silver, jewels and precious stones, [649]to redeem captives, set free prisoners, and relieve all poor distressed souls that wanted means; religiously done. I deny not, but to what purpose? Suppose this were so well done, within a little after, though a man had Croesus' wealth to bestow, there would be as many more. Wherefore I will suffer no [650]beggars, rogues, vagabonds, or idle persons at all, that cannot give an account of their lives how they [651]maintain themselves. If they be impotent, lame, blind, and single, they shall be sufficiently maintained in several hospitals, built for that purpose; if married and infirm, past work, or by inevitable loss, or some such like misfortune cast behind, by distribution of [652]corn, house-rent free, annual pensions or money, they shall be relieved, and highly rewarded for their good service they have formerly done; if able, they shall be enforced to work. [653]“For I see no reason” (as [654]he said) “why an epicure or idle drone, a rich glutton, a usurer, should live at ease, and do nothing, live in honour, in all manner of pleasures, and oppress others, when as in the meantime a poor labourer, a smith, a carpenter, an husbandman that hath spent his time in continual labour, as an ass to carry burdens, to do the commonwealth good, and without whom we cannot live, shall be left in his old age to beg or starve, and lead a miserable life worse than a jument.” As [655]all conditions shall be tied to their task, so none shall be overtired, but have their set times of recreations and holidays, indulgere genio, feasts and merry meetings, even to the meanest artificer, or basest servant, once a week to sing or dance, (though not all at once) or do whatsoever he shall please; like [656]that Saccarum festum amongst the Persians, those Saturnals in Rome, as well as his master. [657]If any be drunk, he shall drink no more wine or strong drink in a twelvemonth after. A bankrupt shall be [658] Catademiatus in Amphitheatro, publicly shamed, and he that cannot pay his debts, if by riot or negligence he have been impoverished, shall be for a twelvemonth imprisoned, if in that space his creditors be not satisfied, [659]he shall be hanged. He [660]that commits sacrilege shall lose his hands; he that bears false witness, or is of perjury convicted, shall have his tongue cut out, except he redeem it with his head. Murder, [661] adultery, shall be punished by death, [662]but not theft, except it be some more grievous offence, or notorious offenders: otherwise they shall be condemned to the galleys, mines, be his slaves whom they have offended, during their lives. I hate all hereditary slaves, and that duram Persarum legem as [663]Brisonius calls it; or as [664]Ammianus, impendio formidatas et abominandas leges, per quas ob noxam unius, omnis propinquitas perit hard law that wife and children, friends and allies, should suffer for the father's offence.
No man shall marry until he [665]be 25, no woman till she be 20, [666] nisi alitur dispensatum fuerit. If one [667]die, the other party shall not marry till six months after; and because many families are compelled to live niggardly, exhaust and undone by great dowers, [668]none shall be given at all, or very little, and that by supervisors rated, they that are foul shall have a greater portion; if fair, none at all, or very little: [669]howsoever not to exceed such a rate as those supervisors shall think fit. And when once they come to those years, poverty shall hinder no man from marriage, or any other respect, [670]but all shall be rather enforced than hindered, [671]except they be [672]dismembered, or grievously deformed, infirm, or visited with some enormous hereditary disease, in body or mind; in such cases upon a great pain, or mulct, [673]man or woman shall not marry, other order shall be taken for them to their content. If people overabound, they shall be eased by [674]colonies.
[675]No man shall wear weapons in any city. The same attire shall be kept, and that proper to several callings, by which they shall be distinguished. [676]Luxus funerum shall be taken away, that intempestive expense moderated, and many others. Brokers, takers of pawns, biting usurers, I will not admit; yet because hic cum hominibus non cum diis agitur, we converse here with men, not with gods, and for the hardness of men's hearts I will tolerate some kind of usury.[677]If we were honest, I confess, si probi essemus, we should have no use of it, but being as it is, we must necessarily admit it. Howsoever most divines contradict it, dicimus inficias, sed vox ea sola reperta est, it must be winked at by politicians. And yet some great doctors approve of it, Calvin, Bucer, Zanchius, P. Martyr, because by so many grand lawyers, decrees of emperors, princes' statutes, customs of commonwealths, churches' approbations it is permitted, &c. I will therefore allow it. But to no private persons, nor to every man that will, to orphans only, maids, widows, or such as by reason of their age, sex, education, ignorance of trading, know not otherwise how to employ it; and those so approved, not to let it out apart, but to bring their money to a [678]common bank which shall be allowed in every city, as in Genoa, Geneva, Nuremberg, Venice, at [679]5, 6, 7, not above 8 per centum, as the supervisors, or aerarii praefecti shall think fit. [680]And as it shall not be lawful for each man to be an usurer that will, so shall it not be lawful for all to take up money at use, not to prodigals and spendthrifts, but to merchants, young tradesmen, such as stand in need, or know honestly how to employ it, whose necessity, cause and condition the said supervisors shall approve of.
I will have no private monopolies, to enrich one man, and beggar a multitude, [681]multiplicity of offices, of supplying by deputies, weights and measures, the same throughout, and those rectified by the Primum mobile and sun's motion, threescore miles to a degree according to observation, 1000 geometrical paces to a mile, five foot to a pace, twelve inches to a foot, &c. and from measures known it is an easy matter to rectify weights, &c. to cast up all, and resolve bodies by algebra, stereometry. I hate wars if they be not ad populi salutem upon urgent occasion, [682]odimus accipitrim, quia semper vivit in armis [683] offensive wars, except the cause be very just, I will not allow of. For I do highly magnify that saying of Hannibal to Scipio, in [684]Livy, “It had been a blessed thing for you and us, if God had given that mind to our predecessors, that you had been content with Italy, we with Africa. For neither Sicily nor Sardinia are worth such cost and pains, so many fleets and armies, or so many famous Captains' lives.” Omnia prius tentanda, fair means shall first be tried. [685]Peragit tranquilla potestas, Quod violenta nequit. I will have them proceed with all moderation: but hear you, Fabius my general, not Minutius, nam [686]qui Consilio nititur plus hostibus nocet, quam qui sini animi ratione, viribus: And in such wars to abstain as much as is possible from [687]depopulations, burning of towns, massacring of infants, &c. For defensive wars, I will have forces still ready at a small warning, by land and sea, a prepared navy, soldiers in procinctu, et quam [688]Bonfinius apud Hungaros suos vult, virgam ferream, and money, which is nerves belli, still in a readiness, and a sufficient revenue, a third part as in old [689]Rome and Egypt, reserved for the commonwealth; to avoid those heavy taxes and impositions, as well to defray this charge of wars, as also all other public defalcations, expenses, fees, pensions, reparations, chaste sports, feasts, donaries, rewards, and entertainments. All things in this nature especially I will have maturely done, and with great [690]deliberation: ne quid [691] temere, ne quid remisse ac timide fiat; Sid quo feror hospes? To prosecute the rest would require a volume. Manum de tabella, I have been over tedious in this subject; I could have here willingly ranged, but these straits wherein I am included will not permit.
From commonwealths and cities, I will descend to families, which have as many corsives and molestations, as frequent discontents as the rest. Great affinity there is betwixt a political and economical body; they differ only in magnitude and proportion of business (so Scaliger [692]writes) as they have both likely the same period, as [693]Bodin and [694]Peucer hold, out of Plato, six or seven hundred years, so many times they have the same means of their vexation and overthrows; as namely, riot, a common ruin of both, riot in building, riot in profuse spending, riot in apparel, &c. be it in what kind soever, it produceth the same effects. A [695]chorographer of ours speaking obiter of ancient families, why they are so frequent in the north, continue so long, are so soon extinguished in the south, and so few, gives no other reason but this, luxus omnia dissipavit, riot hath consumed all, fine clothes and curious buildings came into this island, as he notes in his annals, not so many years since; non sine dispendio hospitalitatis to the decay of hospitality. Howbeit many times that word is mistaken, and under the name of bounty and hospitality, is shrouded riot and prodigality, and that which is commendable in itself well used, hath been mistaken heretofore, is become by his abuse, the bane and utter ruin of many a noble family. For some men live like the rich glutton, consuming themselves and their substance by continual feasting and invitations, with [696]Axilon in Homer, keep open house for all comers, giving entertainment to such as visit them, [697]keeping a table beyond their means, and a company of idle servants (though not so frequent as of old) are blown up on a sudden; and as Actaeon was by his hounds, devoured by their kinsmen, friends, and multitude of followers. [698]It is a wonder that Paulus Jovius relates of our northern countries, what an infinite deal of meat we consume on our tables; that I may truly say, 'tis not bounty, not hospitality, as it is often abused, but riot and excess, gluttony and prodigality; a mere vice; it brings in debt, want, and beggary, hereditary diseases, consumes their fortunes, and overthrows the good temperature of their bodies. To this I might here well add their inordinate expense in building, those fantastical houses, turrets, walks, parks, &c. gaming, excess of pleasure, and that prodigious riot in apparel, by which means they are compelled to break up house, and creep into holes. Sesellius in his commonwealth of [699]France, gives three reasons why the French nobility were so frequently bankrupts: “First, because they had so many lawsuits and contentions one upon another, which were tedious and costly; by which means it came to pass, that commonly lawyers bought them out of their possessions. A second cause was their riot, they lived beyond their means, and were therefore swallowed up by merchants.” (La Nove, a French writer, yields five reasons of his countrymen's poverty, to the same effect almost, and thinks verily if the gentry of France were divided into ten parts, eight of them would be found much impaired, by sales, mortgages, and debts, or wholly sunk in their estates.) “The last was immoderate excess in apparel, which consumed their revenues.” How this concerns and agrees with our present state, look you. But of this elsewhere. As it is in a man's body, if either head, heart, stomach, liver, spleen, or any one part be misaffected, all the rest suffer with it: so is it with this economical body. If the head be naught, a spendthrift, a drunkard, a whoremaster, a gamester, how shall the family live at ease? [700]Ipsa si cupiat solus servare, prorsus, non potest hanc familiam, as Demea said in the comedy, Safety herself cannot save it. A good, honest, painful man many times hath a shrew to his wife, a sickly, dishonest, slothful, foolish, careless woman to his mate, a proud, peevish flirt, a liquorish, prodigal quean, and by that means all goes to ruin: or if they differ in nature, he is thrifty, she spends all, he wise, she sottish and soft; what agreement can there be? what friendship? Like that of the thrush and swallow in Aesop, instead of mutual love, kind compellations, whore and thief is heard, they fling stools at one another's heads. [701]Quae intemperies vexat hanc familiam? All enforced marriages commonly produce such effects, or if on their behalves it be well, as to live and agree lovingly together, they may have disobedient and unruly children, that take ill courses to disquiet them, [702]“their son is a thief, a spendthrift, their daughter a whore;” a step [703]mother, or a daughter-in-law distempers all; [704]or else for want of means, many torturers arise, debts, dues, fees, dowries, jointures, legacies to be paid, annuities issuing out, by means of which, they have not wherewithal to maintain themselves in that pomp as their predecessors have done, bring up or bestow their children to their callings, to their birth and quality, [705]and will not descend to their present fortunes. Oftentimes, too, to aggravate the rest, concur many other inconveniences, unthankful friends, decayed friends, bad neighbours, negligent servants [706]servi furaces, Versipelles, callidi, occlusa sibi mille clavibus reserant, furtimque; raptant, consumunt, liguriunt; casualties, taxes, mulcts, chargeable offices, vain expenses, entertainments, loss of stock, enmities, emulations, frequent invitations, losses, suretyship, sickness, death of friends, and that which is the gulf of all, improvidence, ill husbandry, disorder and confusion, by which means they are drenched on a sudden in their estates, and at unawares precipitated insensibly into an inextricable labyrinth of debts, cares, woes, want, grief, discontent and melancholy itself.
I have done with families, and will now briefly run over some few sorts and conditions of men. The most secure, happy, jovial, and merry in the world's esteem are princes and great men, free from melancholy: but for their cares, miseries, suspicions, jealousies, discontents, folly and madness, I refer you to Xenophon's Tyrannus, where king Hieron discourseth at large with Simonides the poet, of this subject. Of all others they are most troubled with perpetual fears, anxieties, insomuch, that as he said in [707]Valerius, if thou knewest with what cares and miseries this robe were stuffed, thou wouldst not stoop to take it up. Or put case they be secure and free from fears and discontents, yet they are void [708]of reason too oft, and precipitate in their actions, read all our histories, quos de stultis prodidere stulti, Iliades, Aeneides, Annales, and what is the subject?
Stultorum regum, et populorum continet aestus.
The giddy tumults and the foolish rage Of kings and people.
How mad they are, how furious, and upon small occasions, rash and inconsiderate in their proceedings, how they dote, every page almost will witness,
———delirant reges, plectuntur Achivi.
When doting monarchs urge Unsound resolves, their subjects feel the scourge.
Next in place, next in miseries and discontents, in all manner of hair-brain actions, are great men, procul a Jove, procul a fulmine, the nearer the worse. If they live in court, they are up and down, ebb and flow with their princes' favours, Ingenium vultu statque caditque suo, now aloft, tomorrow down, as [709]Polybius describes them, “like so many casting counters, now of gold, tomorrow of silver, that vary in worth as the computant will; now they stand for units, tomorrow for thousands; now before all, and anon behind.” Beside, they torment one another with mutual factions, emulations: one is ambitious, another enamoured, a third in debt, a prodigal, overruns his fortunes, a fourth solicitous with cares, gets nothing, &c. But for these men's discontents, anxieties, I refer you to Lucian's Tract, de mercede conductis, [710]Aeneas Sylvius (libidinis et stultitiae servos, he calls them), Agrippa, and many others.
Of philosophers and scholars priscae sapientiae dictatores, I have already spoken in general terms, those superintendents of wit and learning, men above men, those refined men, minions of the muses,
These acute and subtle sophisters, so much honoured, have as much need of hellebore as others.—
O medici mediam pertundite venam.
Read Lucian's Piscator, and tell how he esteemed them; Agrippa's Tract of the vanity of Sciences; nay read their own works, their absurd tenets, prodigious paradoxes,
et risum teneatis amici
? You shall find that of Aristotle true,
nullum magnum ingenium sine mixtura dementiae
, they have a worm as well as others; you shall find a fantastical strain, a fustian, a bombast, a vainglorious humour, an affected style, &c., like a prominent thread in an uneven woven cloth, run parallel throughout their works. And they that teach wisdom, patience, meekness, are the veriest dizzards, harebrains, and most discontent.
“In the multitude of wisdom is grief, and he that increaseth wisdom, increaseth sorrow.” I need not quote mine author; they that laugh and contemn others, condemn the world of folly, deserve to be mocked, are as giddy-headed, and lie as open as any other.
Democritus, that common flouter of folly, was ridiculous himself, barking Menippus, scoffing Lucian, satirical Lucilius, Petronius, Varro, Persius, &c., may be censured with the rest,
Loripedem rectus derideat, Aethiopem albus.
Bale, Erasmus, Hospinian, Vives, Kemnisius, explode as a vast ocean of obs and sols, school divinity.
A labyrinth of intricable questions, unprofitable contentions,
incredibilem delirationem
, one calls it. If school divinity be so censured,
subtilis
Scotus lima veritatis, Occam irrefragabilis, cujus ingenium vetera omnia ingenia subvertit
, &c. Baconthrope, Dr. Resolutus, and
Corculum Theolgiae
, Thomas himself, Doctor
Seraphicus,
cui dictavit Angelus
, &c. What shall become of humanity?
Ars stulta
, what can she plead? what can her followers say for themselves? Much learning,
cere-diminuit-brum
, hath cracked their sconce, and taken such root, that
tribus Anticyris caput insanabile
, hellebore itself can do no good, nor that renowned
lantern of Epictetus, by which if any man studied, he should be as wise as he was. But all will not serve; rhetoricians,
in ostentationem loquacitatis multa agitant
, out of their volubility of tongue, will talk much to no purpose, orators can persuade other men what they will,
quo volunt, unde volunt
, move, pacify, &c., but cannot settle their own brains, what saith Tully?
Malo indisertam prudentiam, quam loquacem, stultitiam
; and as
Seneca seconds him, a wise man's oration should not be polite or solicitous.
Fabius esteems no better of most of them, either in speech, action, gesture, than as men beside themselves,
insanos declamatores
; so doth Gregory,
Non mihi sapit qui sermone, sed qui factis sapit.
Make the best of him, a good orator is a turncoat, an evil man,
bonus orator pessimus vir
, his tongue is set to sale, he is a mere voice, as
he said of a nightingale,
dat sine mente sonum
, an hyperbolical liar, a flatterer, a parasite, and as
Ammianus Marcellinus will, a corrupting cozener, one that doth more mischief by his fair speeches, than he that bribes by money; for a man may with more facility avoid him that circumvents by money, than him that deceives with glozing terms; which made
Socrates so much abhor and explode them.
Fracastorius, a famous poet, freely grants all poets to be mad; so doth
Scaliger; and who doth not?
Aut insanit homo, aut versus facit
(He's mad or making verses), Hor.
Sat. vii. l. 2.
Insanire lubet, i. versus componere.
Virg.
3 Ecl.
; so Servius interprets it, all poets are mad, a company of bitter satirists, detractors, or else parasitical applauders: and what is poetry itself, but as Austin holds,
Vinum erroris ab ebriis doctoribus propinatum
? You may give that censure of them in general, which Sir Thomas More once did of Germanus Brixius' poems in particular.
———vehuntur In rate stultitiae sylvam habitant Furiae.[729]
Budaeus, in an epistle of his to Lupsetus, will have civil law to be the tower of wisdom; another honours physic, the quintessence of nature; a third tumbles them both down, and sets up the flag of his own peculiar science. Your supercilious critics, grammatical triflers, note-makers, curious antiquaries, find out all the ruins of wit, ineptiarum delicias, amongst the rubbish of old writers; [730]Pro stultis habent nisi aliquid sufficiant invenire, quod in aliorum scriptis vertant vitio, all fools with them that cannot find fault; they correct others, and are hot in a cold cause, puzzle themselves to find out how many streets in Rome, houses, gates, towers, Homer's country, Aeneas's mother, Niobe's daughters, an Sappho publica fuerit? ovum [731]prius extiterit an gallina! &c. et alia quae dediscenda essent scire, si scires, as [732]Seneca holds. What clothes the senators did wear in Rome, what shoes, how they sat, where they went to the close-stool, how many dishes in a mess, what sauce, which for the present for an historian to relate, [733]according to Lodovic. Vives, is very ridiculous, is to them most precious elaborate stuff, they admired for it, and as proud, as triumphant in the meantime for this discovery, as if they had won a city, or conquered a province; as rich as if they had found a mine of gold ore. Quosvis auctores absurdis commentis suis percacant et stercorant, one saith, they bewray and daub a company of books and good authors, with their absurd comments, correctorum sterquilinia [734]Scaliger calls them, and show their wit in censuring others, a company of foolish note-makers, humble-bees, dors, or beetles, inter stercora ut plurimum versantur, they rake over all those rubbish and dunghills, and prefer a manuscript many times before the Gospel itself, [735]thesaurum criticum, before any treasure, and with their deleaturs, alii legunt sic, meus codex sic habet, with their postremae editiones, annotations, castigations, &c. make books dear, themselves ridiculous, and do nobody good, yet if any man dare oppose or contradict, they are mad, up in arms on a sudden, how many sheets are written in defence, how bitter invectives, what apologies? [736]Epiphilledes hae sunt ut merae, nugae. But I dare say no more of, for, with, or against them, because I am liable to their lash as well as others. Of these and the rest of our artists and philosophers, I will generally conclude they are a kind of madmen, as [737] Seneca esteems of them, to make doubts and scruples, how to read them truly, to mend old authors, but will not mend their own lives, or teach us ingevia sanare, memoriam officiorum ingerere, ac fidem in rebus humanis retinere, to keep our wits in order, or rectify our manners. Numquid tibi demens videtur, si istis operam impenderit? Is not he mad that draws lines with Archimedes, whilst his house is ransacked, and his city besieged, when the whole world is in combustion, or we whilst our souls are in danger, (mors sequitur, vita fugit) to spend our time in toys, idle questions, and things of no worth?
That [738]lovers are mad, I think no man will deny, Amare simul et sapere, ipsi Jovi non datur, Jupiter himself cannot intend both at once.
[739]Non bene conveniunt, nec in una sede morantur Majestas et amor.
Tully, when he was invited to a second marriage, replied, he could not simul amare et sapere be wise and love both together. [740]Est orcus ille, vis est immedicabilis, est rabies insana, love is madness, a hell, an incurable disease; inpotentem et insanam libidinem [741]Seneca calls it, an impotent and raging lust. I shall dilate this subject apart; in the meantime let lovers sigh out the rest.
[742]Nevisanus the lawyer holds it for an axiom, “most women are fools,” [743]consilium foeminis invalidum; Seneca, men, be they young or old; who doubts it, youth is mad as Elius in Tully, Stulti adolescentuli, old age little better, deleri senes, &c. Theophrastes, in the 107th year of his age, [744]said he then began to be to wise, tum sapere coepit, and therefore lamented his departure. If wisdom come so late, where shall we find a wise man? Our old ones dote at threescore-and-ten. I would cite more proofs, and a better author, but for the present, let one fool point at another. [745]Nevisanus hath as hard an opinion of [746]rich men, “wealth and wisdom cannot dwell together,” stultitiam patiuntur opes, [747]and they do commonly [748]infatuare cor hominis, besot men; and as we see it, “fools have fortune:” [749]Sapientia non invenitur in terra suaviter viventium. For beside a natural contempt of learning, which accompanies such kind of men, innate idleness (for they will take no pains), and which [750]Aristotle observes, ubi mens plurima, ibi minima fortuna, ubi plurima fortuna, ibi mens perexigua, great wealth and little wit go commonly together: they have as much brains some of them in their heads as in their heels; besides this inbred neglect of liberal sciences, and all arts, which should excolere mentem, polish the mind, they have most part some gullish humour or other, by which they are led; one is an Epicure, an Atheist, a second a gamester, a third a whoremaster (fit subjects all for a satirist to work upon);
[751]Hic nuptarum insanit amoribus, hic puerorum.
One burns to madness for the wedded dame; Unnatural lusts another's heart inflame.
one is mad of hawking, hunting, cocking; another of carousing, horse-riding, spending; a fourth of building, fighting, &c.,
Insanit veteres statuas Damasippus emendo
, Damasippus hath an humour of his own, to be talked of:
Heliodorus the Carthaginian another. In a word, as Scaliger concludes of them all, they are
Statuae erectae stultitiae
, the very statutes or pillars of folly. Choose out of all stories him that hath been most admired, you shall still find,
multa ad laudem, multa ad vituperationem magnifica
, as
Berosus of Semiramis;
omnes mortales militia triumphis, divitiis
, &c.,
tum et luxu, caede, caeterisque vitiis antecessit
, as she had some good, so had she many bad parts.
Alexander, a worthy man, but furious in his anger, overtaken in drink: Caesar and Scipio valiant and wise, but vainglorious, ambitious: Vespasian a worthy prince, but covetous: [755]Hannibal, as he had mighty virtues, so had he many vices; unam virtutem mille vitia comitantur, as Machiavel of Cosmo de Medici, he had two distinct persons in him. I will determine of them all, they are like these double or turning pictures; stand before which you see a fair maid, on the one side an ape, on the other an owl; look upon them at the first sight, all is well, but farther examine, you shall find them wise on the one side, and fools on the other; in some few things praiseworthy, in the rest incomparably faulty. I will say nothing of their diseases, emulations, discontents, wants, and such miseries: let poverty plead the rest in Aristophanes' Plutus.
Covetous men, amongst others, are most mad, [756]they have all the symptoms of melancholy, fear, sadness, suspicion, &c., as shall be proved in its proper place,
Danda est Hellebori multo pars maxima avaris.
Misers make Anticyra their own; Its hellebore reserved for them alone.
And yet methinks prodigals are much madder than they, be of what condition they will, that bear a public or private purse; as a [757]Dutch writer censured Richard the rich duke of Cornwall, suing to be emperor, for his profuse spending, qui effudit pecuniam, ante pedes principium Electorum sicut aquam, that scattered money like water; I do censure them, Stulta Anglia (saith he) quae, tot denariis sponte est privata, stulti principes Alemaniae, qui nobile jus suum pro pecunia vendiderunt; spendthrifts, bribers, and bribe-takers are fools, and so are [758]all they that cannot keep, disburse, or spend their moneys well.
I might say the like of angry, peevish, envious, ambitious; [759] Anticyras melior sorbere meracas; Epicures, Atheists, Schismatics, Heretics; hi omnes habent imaginationem laesam (saith Nymannus) “and their madness shall be evident,” 2 Tim. iii. 9. [760]Fabatus, an Italian, holds seafaring men all mad; “the ship is mad, for it never stands still; the mariners are mad, to expose themselves to such imminent dangers: the waters are raging mad, in perpetual motion: the winds are as mad as the rest, they know not whence they come, whither they would go: and those men are maddest of all that go to sea; for one fool at home, they find forty abroad.” He was a madman that said it, and thou peradventure as mad to read it. [761] Felix Platerus is of opinion all alchemists are mad, out of their wits; [762]Atheneus saith as much of fiddlers, et musarum luscinias, [763] Musicians, omnes tibicines insaniunt, ubi semel efflant, avolat illico mens, in comes music at one ear, out goes wit at another. Proud and vainglorious persons are certainly mad; and so are [764]lascivious; I can feel their pulses beat hither; horn-mad some of them, to let others lie with their wives, and wink at it.
To insist [765]in all particulars, were an Herculean task, to [766]reckon up [767]insanas substructiones, insanos labores, insanum luxum, mad labours, mad books, endeavours, carriages, gross ignorance, ridiculous actions, absurd gestures; insanam gulam, insaniam villarum, insana jurgia, as Tully terms them, madness of villages, stupend structures; as those Egyptian Pyramids, Labyrinths and Sphinxes, which a company of crowned asses, ad ostentationem opum, vainly built, when neither the architect nor king that made them, or to what use and purpose, are yet known: to insist in their hypocrisy, inconstancy, blindness, rashness, dementem temeritatem, fraud, cozenage, malice, anger, impudence, ingratitude, ambition, gross superstition, [768]tempora infecta et adulatione sordida, as in Tiberius' times, such base flattery, stupend, parasitical fawning and colloguing, &c. brawls, conflicts, desires, contentions, it would ask an expert Vesalius to anatomise every member. Shall I say? Jupiter himself, Apollo, Mars, &c. doted; and monster-conquering Hercules that subdued the world, and helped others, could not relieve himself in this, but mad he was at last. And where shall a man walk, converse with whom, in what province, city, and not meet with Signior Deliro, or Hercules Furens, Maenads, and Corybantes? Their speeches say no less. [769]E fungis nati homines, or else they fetched their pedigree from those that were struck by Samson with the jaw-bone of an ass. Or from Deucalion and Pyrrha's stones, for durum genus sumus, [770] marmorei sumus, we are stony-hearted, and savour too much of the stock, as if they had all heard that enchanted horn of Astolpho, that English duke in Ariosto, which never sounded but all his auditors were mad, and for fear ready to make away with themselves; [771]or landed in the mad haven in the Euxine sea of Daphnis insana, which had a secret quality to dementate; they are a company of giddy-heads, afternoon men, it is Midsummer moon still, and the dog-days last all the year long, they are all mad. Whom shall I then except? Ulricus Huttenus [772]nemo, nam, nemo omnibus horis sapit, Nemo nascitur sine vitiis, Crimine Nemo caret, Nemo sorte sua vivit contentus, Nemo in amore sapit, Nemo bonus, Nemo sapiens, Nemo, est ex omni parti beatus, &c. [773]and therefore Nicholas Nemo, or Monsieur Nobody shall go free, Quid valeat nemo, Nemo referre potest? But whom shall I except in the second place? such as are silent, vir sapit qui pauca loquitur; [774]no better way to avoid folly and madness, than by taciturnity. Whom in a third? all senators, magistrates; for all fortunate men are wise, and conquerors valiant, and so are all great men, non est bonum ludere cum diis, they are wise by authority, good by their office and place, his licet impune pessimos esse, (some say) we must not speak of them, neither is it fit; per me sint omnia protinus alba, I will not think amiss of them. Whom next? Stoics? Sapiens Stoicus, and he alone is subject to no perturbations, as [775]Plutarch scoffs at him, “he is not vexed with torments, or burnt with fire, foiled by his adversary, sold of his enemy: though he be wrinkled, sand-blind, toothless, and deformed; yet he is most beautiful, and like a god, a king in conceit, though not worth a groat. He never dotes, never mad, never sad, drunk, because virtue cannot be taken away,” as [776]Zeno holds, “by reason of strong apprehension,” but he was mad to say so. [777]Anticyrae caelo huic est opus aut dolabra, he had need to be bored, and so had all his fellows, as wise as they would seem to be. Chrysippus himself liberally grants them to be fools as well as others, at certain times, upon some occasions, amitti virtutem ait per ebrietatem, aut atribilarium morbum, it may be lost by drunkenness or melancholy, he may be sometimes crazed as well as the rest: [778]ad summum sapiens nisi quum pituita molesta. I should here except some Cynics, Menippus, Diogenes, that Theban Crates; or to descend to these times, that omniscious, only wise fraternity [779]of the Rosicrucians, those great theologues, politicians, philosophers, physicians, philologers, artists, &c. of whom S. Bridget, Albas Joacchimus, Leicenbergius, and such divine spirits have prophesied, and made promise to the world, if at least there be any such (Hen. [780]Neuhusius makes a doubt of it, [781] Valentinus Andreas and others) or an Elias artifex their Theophrastian master; whom though Libavius and many deride and carp at, yet some will have to be “the [782]renewer of all arts and sciences,” reformer of the world, and now living, for so Johannes Montanus Strigoniensis, that great patron of Paracelsus, contends, and certainly avers [783]“a most divine man,” and the quintessence of wisdom wheresoever he is; for he, his fraternity, friends, &c. are all [784]“betrothed to wisdom,” if we may believe their disciples and followers. I must needs except Lipsius and the Pope, and expunge their name out of the catalogue of fools. For besides that parasitical testimony of Dousa,
A Sole exoriente Maeotidas usque paludes, Nemo est qui justo se aequiparare queat.[785]
Lipsius saith of himself, that he was
humani generis quidem paedagogus voce et stylo
, a grand signior, a master, a tutor of us all, and for thirteen years he brags how he sowed wisdom in the Low Countries, as Ammonius the philosopher sometimes did in Alexandria,
cum humanitate literas et sapientiam cum prudentia: antistes sapientiae
, he shall be
Sapientum Octavus
. The Pope is more than a man, as
his parrots often make him, a demigod, and besides his holiness cannot err,
in Cathedra
belike: and yet some of them have been magicians, Heretics, Atheists, children, and as Platina saith of John 22,
Et si vir literatus, multa stoliditatem et laevitatem prae se ferentia egit, stolidi et socordis vir ingenii
, a scholar sufficient, yet many things he did foolishly, lightly. I can say no more than in particular, but in general terms to the rest, they are all mad, their wits are evaporated, and, as Ariosto feigns,
l. 34
, kept in jars above the moon.
Some lose their wits with love, some with ambition, Some following [789]Lords and men of high condition. Some in fair jewels rich and costly set, Others in Poetry their wits forget. Another thinks to be an Alchemist, Till all be spent, and that his number's mist.
Convicted fools they are, madmen upon record; and I am afraid past cure many of them,
crepunt inguina
, the symptoms are manifest, they are all of Gotam parish:
[791]Quum furor haud dubius, quum sit manifesta phrenesis,
Since madness is indisputable, since frenzy is obvious.
what remains then
but to send for Lorarios, those officers to carry them all together for company to Bedlam, and set Rabelais to be their physician.
If any man shall ask in the meantime, who I am that so boldly censure others, tu nullane habes vitia? have I no faults? [793]Yes, more than thou hast, whatsoever thou art. Nos numerus sumus, I confess it again, I am as foolish, as mad as any one.
[794]Insanus vobis videor, non deprecor ipse, Quo minus insanus,———
I do not deny it, demens de populo dematur. My comfort is, I have more fellows, and those of excellent note. And though I be not so right or so discreet as I should be, yet not so mad, so bad neither, as thou perhaps takest me to be.
To conclude, this being granted, that all the world is melancholy, or mad, dotes, and every member of it, I have ended my task, and sufficiently illustrated that which I took upon me to demonstrate at first. At this present I have no more to say; His sanam mentem Democritus, I can but wish myself and them a good physician, and all of us a better mind.
And although for the above-named reasons, I had a just cause to undertake this subject, to point at these particular species of dotage, that so men might acknowledge their imperfections, and seek to reform what is amiss; yet I have a more serious intent at this time; and to omit all impertinent digressions, to say no more of such as are improperly melancholy, or metaphorically mad, lightly mad, or in disposition, as stupid, angry, drunken, silly, sottish, sullen, proud, vainglorious, ridiculous, beastly, peevish, obstinate, impudent, extravagant, dry, doting, dull, desperate, harebrain, &c. mad, frantic, foolish, heteroclites, which no new [795] hospital can hold, no physic help; my purpose and endeavour is, in the following discourse to anatomise this humour of melancholy, through all its parts and species, as it is an habit, or an ordinary disease, and that philosophically, medicinally, to show the causes, symptoms, and several cures of it, that it may be the better avoided. Moved thereunto for the generality of it, and to do good, it being a disease so frequent, as [796] Mercurialis observes, “in these our days; so often happening,” saith [797] Laurentius, “in our miserable times,” as few there are that feel not the smart of it. Of the same mind is Aelian Montaltus, [798]Melancthon, and others; [799]Julius Caesar Claudinus calls it the “fountain of all other diseases, and so common in this crazed age of ours, that scarce one of a thousand is free from it;” and that splenetic hypochondriacal wind especially, which proceeds from the spleen and short ribs. Being then a disease so grievous, so common, I know not wherein to do a more general service, and spend my time better, than to prescribe means how to prevent and cure so universal a malady, an epidemical disease, that so often, so much crucifies the body and mind.
If I have overshot myself in this which hath been hitherto said, or that it is, which I am sure some will object, too fantastical, “too light and comical for a Divine, too satirical for one of my profession,” I will presume to answer with [800]Erasmus, in like case, 'tis not I, but Democritus, Democritus dixit: you must consider what it is to speak in one's own or another's person, an assumed habit and name; a difference betwixt him that affects or acts a prince's, a philosopher's, a magistrate's, a fool's part, and him that is so indeed; and what liberty those old satirists have had; it is a cento collected from others; not I, but they that say it.
[801]Dixero si quid forte jocosius, hoc mihi juris Cum venia, dabis———
Yet some indulgence I may justly claim, If too familiar with another's fame.
Take heed you mistake me not. If I do a little forget myself, I hope you will pardon it. And to say truth, why should any man be offended, or take exceptions at it?
Licuit, semperque licebit, Parcere personis, dicere de vitiis.
It lawful was of old, and still will be, To speak of vice, but let the name go free.
I hate their vices, not their persons. If any be displeased, or take aught unto himself, let him not expostulate or cavil with him that said it (so did
Erasmus excuse himself to Dorpius,
si parva licet componere magnis
) and so do I; “but let him be angry with himself, that so betrayed and opened his own faults in applying it to himself:”
“if he be guilty and deserve it, let him amend, whoever he is, and not be angry.” “He that hateth correction is a fool,”
Prov. xii. 1
. If he be not guilty, it concerns him not; it is not my freeness of speech, but a guilty conscience, a galled back of his own that makes him wince.
Suspicione si quis errabit sua, Et rapiet ad se, quod erit commune omnium, Stulte nudabit animi conscientiam.[804]
I deny not this which I have said savours a little of Democritus;
[805]
Quamvis ridentem dicere verum quid velat
; one may speak in jest, and yet speak truth. It is somewhat tart, I grant it;
acriora orexim excitant embammata
, as he said, sharp sauces increase appetite,
nec cibus ipse juvat morsu fraudatus aceti
. Object then and cavil what thou wilt, I ward all with
Democritus's buckler, his medicine shall salve it; strike where thou wilt, and when:
Democritus dixit
, Democritus will answer it. It was written by an idle fellow, at idle times, about our Saturnalian or Dionysian feasts, when as he said,
nullum libertati periculum est
, servants in old Rome had liberty to say and do what them list. When our countrymen sacrificed to their goddess
Vacuna, and sat tippling by their Vacunal fires. I writ this, and published this
οὕτις ἕλεγεν
, it is
neminis nihil
. The time, place, persons, and all circumstances apologise for me, and why may not I then be idle with others? speak my mind freely? If you deny me this liberty, upon these presumptions I will take it: I say again, I will take it.
[809]Si quis est qui dictum in se inclementius Existimavit esse, sic existimet.
If any man take exceptions, let him turn the buckle of his girdle, I care not. I owe thee nothing (Reader), I look for no favour at thy hands, I am independent, I fear not.
No, I recant, I will not, I care, I fear, I confess my fault, acknowledge a great offence,
———motos praestat componere fluctus.
———let's first assuage the troubled waves
I have overshot myself, I have spoken foolishly, rashly, unadvisedly, absurdly, I have anatomised mine own folly. And now methinks upon a sudden I am awaked as it were out of a dream; I have had a raving fit, a fantastical fit, ranged up and down, in and out, I have insulted over the most kind of men, abused some, offended others, wronged myself; and now being recovered, and perceiving mine error, cry with
Orlando,
Solvite me
, pardon (
o boni
) that which is past, and I will make you amends in that which is to come; I promise you a more sober discourse in my following treatise.
If through weakness, folly, passion, [811]discontent, ignorance, I have said amiss, let it be forgotten and forgiven. I acknowledge that of [812] Tacitus to be true, Asperae facetiae, ubi nimis ex vero traxere, acrem sui memoriam relinquunt, a bitter jest leaves a sting behind it: and as an honourable man observes, [813]“They fear a satirist's wit, he their memories.” I may justly suspect the worst; and though I hope I have wronged no man, yet in Medea's words I will crave pardon,
———Illud jam voce extrema peto, Ne si qua noster dubius effudit dolor, Maneant in animo verba, sed melior tibi Memoria nostri subeat, haec irae data Obliterentur———
And in my last words this I do desire, That what in passion I have said, or ire, May be forgotten, and a better mind, Be had of us, hereafter as you find.
I earnestly request every private man, as Scaliger did Cardan, not to take offence. I will conclude in his lines,
Si me cognitum haberes, non solum donares nobis has facetias nostras, sed etiam indignum duceres, tam humanum aninum, lene ingenium, vel minimam suspicionem deprecari oportere
. If thou knewest my
modesty and simplicity, thou wouldst easily pardon and forgive what is here amiss, or by thee misconceived. If hereafter anatomizing this surly humour, my hand slip, as an unskilful 'prentice I lance too deep, and cut through skin and all at unawares, make it smart, or cut awry,
pardon a rude hand, an unskilful knife, 'tis a most difficult thing to keep an even tone, a perpetual tenor, and not sometimes to lash out;
difficile est Satyram non scribere
, there be so many objects to divert, inward perturbations to molest, and the very best may sometimes err;
aliquando bonus dormitat Homerus
(some times that excellent Homer takes a nap), it is impossible not in so much to overshoot;—
opere in longo fas est obrepere, summum
. But what needs all this? I hope there will no such cause of offence be given; if there be,
Nemo aliquid recognoscat, nos mentimur omnia
. I'll deny all (my last refuge), recant all, renounce all I have said, if any man except, and with as much facility excuse, as he can accuse; but I presume of thy good favour, and gracious acceptance (gentle reader). Out of an assured hope and confidence thereof, I will begin.
LECTORI MALE FERIATO.
Tu vero cavesis edico quisquis es, ne temere sugilles Auctorem hujusce operis, aut cavillator irrideas. Imo ne vel ex aliorum censura tacite obloquaris (vis dicam verbo) nequid nasutulus inepte improbes, aut falso fingas. Nam si talis revera sit, qualem prae se fert Junior Democritus, seniori Democrito saltem affinis, aut ejus Genium vel tantillum sapiat; actum de te, censorem aeque ac delatorem [817]aget econtra (petulanti splene cum sit) sufflabit te in jocos, comminuet in sales, addo etiam, et deo risui te sacrificabit.
Iterum moneo, ne quid cavillere, ne dum Democritum Juniorem conviciis infames, aut ignominiose vituperes, de te non male sentientem, tu idem audias ab amico cordato, quod olim vulgus Abderitanum ab [818] Hippocrate, concivem bene meritum et popularem suum Democritum, pro insano habens. Ne tu Democrite sapis, stulti autem et insani Abderitae.
[819]Abderitanae pectora plebis habes.
Haec te paucis admonitum volo (male feriate Lector) abi.
TO THE READER AT LEISURE.
Whoever you may be, I caution you against rashly defaming the author of this work, or cavilling in jest against him. Nay, do not silently reproach him in consequence of others' censure, nor employ your wit in foolish disapproval, or false accusation. For, should Democritus Junior prove to be what he professes, even a kinsman of his elder namesake, or be ever so little of the same kidney, it is all over with you: he will become both accuser and judge of you in your spleen, will dissipate you in jests, pulverise you into salt, and sacrifice you, I can promise you, to the God of Mirth.
I further advise you, not to asperse, or calumniate, or slander, Democritus Junior, who possibly does not think ill of you, lest you may hear from some discreet friend, the same remark the people of Abdera did from Hippocrates, of their meritorious and popular fellow-citizen, whom they had looked on as a madman; “It is not that you, Democritus, that art wise, but that the people of Abdera are fools and madmen.” “You have yourself an Abderitian soul;” and having just given you, gentle reader, these few words of admonition, farewell.
Heraclite fleas, misero sic convenit aevo, Nil nisi turpe vides, nil nisi triste vides. Ride etiam, quantumque lubet, Democrite ride Non nisi vana vides, non nisi stulta vides. Is fletu, his risu modo gaudeat, unus utrique Sit licet usque labor, sit licet usque dolor. Nunc opes est (nam totus eheu jam desipit orbis) Mille Heraclitis, milleque Democritis. Nunc opus est (tanta est insania) transeat omnis Mundus in Anticyras, gramen in Helleborum.
Weep, O Heraclitus, it suits the age, Unless you see nothing base, nothing sad. Laugh, O Democritus, as much as you please, Unless you see nothing either vain or foolish. Let one rejoice in smiles, the other in tears; Let the same labour or pain be the office of both. Now (for alas! how foolish the world has become), A thousand Heraclitus', a thousand Democritus' are required. Now (so much does madness prevail), all the world must be Sent to Anticyra, to graze on Hellebore.