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The American Joe Miller

INDEX.

Reading edition

PAGE

Absence of Mind, 50, 52, 85

Abstraction, 187

Adopting the Other Course, 158

Advantage of Burning Two Candles, 2

Advice to Doctors, 179

Advice to Parents, 49

After Joining Church, 43

Agreeable Customer, An, 19

Agreeing with all the Girls, 134

Agricultural Returns, 202

Aids to Memory, 184

All-Healing, 200

All Human, 87

All Well, 41

Amende Honourable, 177

American Competition, 152

American Curiosity, 176

American Definitions, 152

American Estimate of their Clergy, 9

American Help, An, 174

American Notion of Villany, 94

American Platform, 86

American Proverbs, 207

American Similes, 207

American Soil, 149

"And That's a Fact", 104

Angler Caught, The, 201

Another Burst of Eloquence, 109

Another Discovery, 96

Answered at Once, 189

Answering an Advertisement, 168

Antediluvian Diet, 61

Any Better than None, 154

Any Relations, 140

Appropriate Gift, An, 115

Apt Pupil, An, 205

Artistic Execution, 146

Awkward Coincidence, 95

Baby Story, A, 16

Bachelorism a Luxury, 22

Backwoods Conversation, 173

Big Puff, A, 67

Billings, Josh., Insures his Life, 83

Billings, Josh., Sayings of, 99, 195-196

Billings, Josh., on Horses, 175

Billy Bray, 28

Black Bull, A, 160

Blind Phrenologist of St, Louis, 135

Bonnets, 194

Borrowing the Baby, 203

Boxes and Pit, 204

"Braggin' saves Advertisin'", 113

Breakfast in Bed, 129

Brigham Young's Wives, 91

Bright and Blue, 186

Brother of Four Million Children, 63

Bucolic Stupidity, 207

"Bus" in the Cars, A, 132

Business and Affliction, 5

Candid Parson, A, 12

Canine Resemblance, 69

Captain's Pudding, The, 123

Catching, 184

Caught Unawares, 32

Cause and Effect, 182

Cautious Witness, A, 72

Changes, 141

Charged and Discharged, 202

Chasing a Locomotive, 135

Cheap Treat, A, 83

Chickens in Tennessee, The, 21

Citizen of all the States, A, 30

Claiming Exemption, 122

Clay, Henry, 203

Clergyman and the Lawyer, 110

Climacteric Sublimity, 107

Close Witness, A, 88

Cold Picture, A, 37

Colonel answered, The, 12

Colt's Arms v. Colt's Legs, 126

Columbus and the Egg, 117

Columbus's Discovery, 106

Complimentary, 168

Conclusive, 114

Condensed Novel, A, 25

Conditional Forgiveness, 87

Confession of a Clergyman, 95

Confidence Necessary, 189

Cool Customer, A, 22

Coolness, 106

Cords of Hymen, The, 82

Corking up Daylight, 16

Critical, 162

Criminal didn't see it, 72

Crockett, Colonel, and the 'Coon, 199

Crockett, Colonel, 202

Crooked Stick, The, 115

Cross Purposes, 20

Couldn't help it, in fact, 43

Couldn't make an Impression, 108

Couple of Reasons too many, A, 3

Cuff's Cabin, 157

Cure for Fainting, 82

Curing Two Afflictions, 164

Curiosities of American Speech, 55

Curious Event, 57

Cute Expedient, 185

Cutting, 168

Damaging the Engine, 128

Darkie's Wish, The, 168

Date Wanted, The, 105

"Dat's de Mystery", 126

Debt of Nature, The, 160

"De Dissolution of Coparsnips", 17

Delicate Cut, A, 128

Democrats v. Republicans, 102

Demosthenes not Dead, 33

Diamond Cut Diamond, 54

Didn't care, then, if he did, 140

Dinner, but no Breakfast, 159

Disconsolate, 147

Disinterested Lieutenant, A, 122

Distant Friend, A, 167

Domestic Economy, 50

Double Difficulty, A, 143

Doubtful, 144

Dow, Junior, 84

Do you Smoke?, 78

Drawing the Long Bow, 7

Dying Soldier and his Mother, 68

Dry Joke in a Dry Goods' Store, A, 26

Dull Members, 171

Early Rising in Connecticut, 1

Eclipsing Himself, 151

Editorial Fix, 110

Editorial Horse, An, 102

Editorial Tribulations, 54

Editors Exchanging Compliments, 92

Editors' Wives, 142

Effective Remonstrance, 147

Effect of Eloquence, The, 80

Egg "Brof", 3

Either Way will do, 96

Elbow-Room Scarce, 3

Emerson and Parker, 101

English Grammar, 40

Enthusiastic Newsvendor, 119

Epigram on Lincoln, 149

Everett and Judge Story, 163

Excessive Politeness, 53

Excuse for Drinking, 142

Exempt decidedly, 97

Extraordinary Absence of Mind, 103

Extraordinary Crow, 49

Extraordinary Motto, 52

Eye to Business, An, 130

Failed for a Good Reason, 19

Fair Retort, A, 161

Falling in Love, 171

Familiar Acquaintance, 151

Fancy her Feelings, 85

Feeling her Way, 18

Female Admirable Crichton, 102

Fine Stream, A, 196

Fine Writing, 107

"Fire at the Crisis", 173

Firm Foundation, 187

First Marriage, The, 42

Five Outs and One In, 151

Floating Population, A, 102

Fond of Society, 197

Forcible Eviction, 204

Forensic Eloquence, 18

Forest-Born Orator, A, 70

Forlorn Hope, 146

4-tunate Young Man, A, 2

Four Points of a Case, 2

Franklin, Dr., 161

Franklin and Hancock, 203

Friendly Notice, 185

Gallant Correction, 187

Gem, A, 165

General no Pattern, The, 175

German Wines, 175

Getting down a Ladder, 98

Gin and Water, 205

Gone Home, 137

Good Eyesight, 172

Governor and the Justice, The, 119

Graham System, The, 13

Grandpa's Spectacles, 71

Grant, General, 172

Great Scarcity, 123

Great Traveller, A, 136

Grieving for a Wife, 105

Grim Welcome, 22

Guarded Answer, A, 78

Habitual Thirst, 170

Habits of a Great Man, 28

Half Guilty, 177

Hairs, not Bristles, 60

Happiest of Vowels, The, 117

Hard Feathers, 163

Hard Hearing, 187

Hard Lying, 4

Hard Scrabble, 90

Hard up 73, 144

Having the Coffin Handy, 41

He had him that time, 17

Heady, 172

Heavenly Bodies, The, 117

Heavy Top-Dressing, 60

Height of Meanness, The, 105

Hen Persuaders, 70

Her Marriage Gift, 196

Her Poor Jerry, 130

Highly Probable, 103

His First Step, 64

His Reasons for Leaving, 133

His Wife's Cousin, 66

Holding the Stakes, 74

Homely Flag of Truce, 16

Horrified Dandy, A, 27

Hot Pies, 57

Hotel Accommodation in the South, 81

Hotel Rules at the "Diggins", 79

Household Words, 132

How a "Copperhead" was Shaved, 10

How Ale strengthened him, 67

How Mr. Lincoln shakes Hands, 89

How Sam was Caught, 84

How to do Business, 97

How to get a Seat, 95

How to go Mad, 101

Huggin', 192

Human Nature, 138

Hunting up a Soft Place, 39

I would if I could, 90

Illegible Manuscripts, 88

"I'm the Baggage", 20

In Black and White, 77

In Love with the Devil, 89

Incident and Epigram, An, 137

Inducement to Young People, 102

Inducement Unnecessary, 148

Infant Teacher, An, 206

Infantile Idea of Distance, 126

Inflammable and Dangerous, 51

Ingenious Boot-Black, 35

Inquiring Mind, An, 23

Insinuating Rejoinder, 156

Interesting Announcement, 142

Interesting Experiment, 99

Interesting to the Parties concerned, 14

Interrupting the Sermon, 84

Irish Bull at Bull's Run, An, 131

Irish Exhortation, 89

Irish Negro, 99

It follows, 175

Jefferson, Thomas, 203

Jemmy O'Neil and President Jackson, 61

Jew D'Esprit, A, 157

Job's Patience—as viewed by a Lady, 38

John and the Widdah, 150

Joke by Jenkins, A, 104

Joke by the President, 143

Jonathan's Guess, 178

Jonathan of All Trades, 167

Judge and his Coachman, The, 75

Judgment of Solomon, The, 6

Just got Married, 137

Keen and Significant, 85

Keeping a Secret, 139

Kind and Sympathetic, 138

Kissing by Proxy, 146

Kissing in Wisconsin, 13

Knocking at the Church Door, 24

Knowing and Not Knowing, 197

Knowing Contraband, A, 172

Knowing Juryman, A, 15

Laconic, 184

Lagging Compliment, A, 121

Lapse of Ages, The, 111

Last Compliment, The, 161

Latest Dog Story, 147

Latest Way, The, 136

Law of Compensation, The, 108

Learned Members of the American Legislature, The, 11

Lee, Gen., and a Son of Erin, 125

Lee, Gen., to General Meade, 158

Legal Advice under Singular Circumstances, 79

Legal Toast, A, 86

Legislation, 194

Letter R, The, 130

Letter S, The, 144

Libellous Assertion, 98

Life in Kentucky, 207

Lincoln on Nigger Mathematics, 37

Literature, 203

Littles, 58

Loafer's Hat, The, 160

Lobster Salad, 43

Logs Wanted, 50

Logic of Congress, 126

Lone Nigger, A, 97

Long and Short of it, 106

Longfellow and Longworth, 141

Long Livers, 188

Look on this Picture and on this, 50

Looking for a Situation, 77

Love-Letter Ink, 163

Lovers' Leap, The, 168

Low-necked Frocks, 100

Luminous Evidence, 68

Lying at the Top, The, 113

"Mails" and Females, 107

Major Downing in London, 154

Making a Man's Coffin before his Death, 7

Marriage Notices, 16

Marriage and Single Blessedness, 69

Meade, Gen., to Gen. Lee, 158

Meat Baby, A, 110

Mighty Thick Fog, A, 57

Mild Assertion, A, 185

Military Tactics, 145

Military Veracity of the North, 3

Millennium at Hand, The, 195

Milwaukee Eloquence, 60

Minister's Reception, The, 108

Mixing the Babies, 30

Model Advertisements, 111

Modern Definitions, 187

Modest Linendraper, A, 137

Modesty, 199

Monster Punch-Bowl, 188

Mooted Question, A, 97

More Copy, 189

More Laughable than Logical, 107

Most too Sudden, 140

Much Virtue in an "If", 167

My Pew, Sir!, 6

Naming Children in America, 106

Nature and Art, 155, 205

Natur's Balances, 149

Natural Mistake, 203

"Naygers," The, 183

Nearing it by Degrees, 205

Negro Sermon, 71

Nerve of Feeling, 200

Nest Egg, The, 44

New, if not True, 164

New Dish, A, 160

Newspaper Borrowers, To, 34

New Way to affix a Stamp, 115

Niagara Falls from Four Points of View, 126

Nice Girl, A, 48

Nigger Explanation, 157

No Doubt, 38

No Justice in that Court, 140

No Patients Living, 72

No Place like Home, 128

No Vices, 173

Nonsense about Love, 144

Not Exactly, 201

Not for Want, 121

Not Particular, 112

Not so, 47

Not to be Done, 32

Not to be wondered at, 76

Not Willing to Die, 130

Note by the Editor, 147

Novel Commentary by a Parson, 42

Novel Effect of a Second Marriage, 103

Novel Hint from the Pulpit, 86

Novel Proposition, 141

Novel Telegraphic Message, 129

Novel Verdict, A, 94

Obeying Orders, 201

Obituary Notice, 206

Objecting to Missions, 64

Obstinacy Cured, 200

Ode on Gas, An, 54

Odd Excuse for not being Hung, 19

Odd Names, 79

Of course not, 101

Ohio Democracy, The, 48

"Old Brains", 119

Old Hen and Chickens, The, 21

Old King's Arm, The, 89

Ole Harry and Ole Nick, 46

One of the Press, 109

Only the Eleventh, 1

"Open Thy Cupboard to Me", 148

Openness of Countenance, 74

Origin of "Some Punkin", 62

Original Brother Jonathan, The, 116

Other Impediment, The, 178

Other Side, The, 91

Our Bob, 127

Out-Yankeed, 10

Oysters, 186

"Paddle your own Canoe", 34

Painful Necessity, 189

Painting to the Life, 117

Paper Collars, The, 182

Parental Advice, 42

Parting Friends, 97

Passing the Cow, 204

Pay your Postage, 15

Perils of the Fourth Estate, 111

Perpetual Motion, 152

Personal, 95

Pete's Expectations, 77

Pickled Elephant, 183

Picture Dealing, 179

Pile of Jokes, A, 206

Pithy Letter, 13

Plain enough, 109

Plain Spoken, 165

Plump Question, 81

Poetical Editor, A, 72

Poetical Patchwork, 112

Poetry and Prose, 138

Poets, 205

Pointed Retort, 129

Polite Man, A, 106

Politics, 172

Poor Couple, A, 102

Poor Preaching, 169

Popping Corn, 191

Popping the Question, 70, 165

Powerful Sermon, 192

"Preach Small", 4

Precept and Practice, 161

Presented at Court, 162

President Jackson, 61

President Lincoln, Epigram on, 149

President Lincoln on Nigger Mathematics, 37

President Lincoln's First Political Speech, 151

President and the Marshal, The, 156

President's Voice, The, 10

Presidential Puns, 73

Pretence, 148

Pretended Pelham, A, 159

Printers' Mistakes, 108

Printer's Toast, A, 154

Profit and Loss, 182

Profitless Teaching, 120

Prompt Reply, A, 84

Proverbs, 91

Providing for Bills, 125

Putting a Good Face on it, 200

Putting forward his Creed, 47

Pugnacious Ram, The, 27

Puzzled, 181

Puzzled Judge, A, 34

Quadruplicated Pun, 207

Quaker's Excuse for Firing, 62

Quaker Woman's Sermon, 128

Qualifications for a Parson, 103

Queer Cup of Coffee, A, 7

Queer Queries, 78

Question for Astronomers, A, 104

Question for Question, 166

Quizzing a Witness, 155

Quoting his Father, 118

Rare Printer, A, 51

Rat Story, A, 78

Rather Cute, 86

Real Heavy Gale, A, 114

Reasonable Instinct, 162

Reason for Dear Cream, A, 49

Reasons for not Joining Church, 89

Reasons enough, 100

Rebuke, A, 188

Remarkable Chambermaid, 156

Remarkable Dream, 43

Remarkable Man, A, 52

Remarkable Skipper, 188 Remarkable Tenacity of Life, 8

Remarkably Sociable, 180

Receipt in Full, A, 153

Returned Soldier's Letter, 73

Rivalling Nature, 95

Rough Bedfellow, A, 163

Sad Scarcity of Paper, 105

Saddest Sight, The, 38

Salary not so much an Object, 124

Sambo and Cuffee, 54

Sambo's Suspicion, 127

Sam's Soul, 9

Same Drunk, 184

Satisfactory Reason, A, 88

Saved the Leather, 194

Saving the Truth, 156

Sayings Wise and Witty, 195

Scene in an American Court, 24

Schoolmaster Abroad, The, 167

Scientific Agreement, 38

Scipio's Wife, 68

Scripture Names, 22

Securing his Trunk, 26

Self-evident Knowledge, 199

Sensations of a Down-Easter, 141

Sensible Woman, A, 96

Setting the Time, 180

Settling the Wine Bill, 145

Sharp Child, 80

Sharp Shooting, 1

Shedding their Last Blood, 129

"Shell in de Stove," A, 53

Shrewd Nigger, A, 174

Short and Expressive, 83

Simile, A, 150

Similes, 208

Simmons on Life, 185

Simplicity, 15

Slashing Article, A, 94

Slick's, Sam, Description of a Teetotaller, 151

Slick's, Sam, Geology, 172

Slick, Sam, on Happiness, 121

Slick's, Sam, Wise Saws, 143

Slight Difference, 177

Small Loaves, 1

Small Waists and Tight Lacing, 157

Smart Railway Employé, 63

Smiles, 146

Snip, 173

Snorers, To, 35

Snoring in Church, 163

Snubbing a Lawyer, 98

So Humane, 113

Soap coming Handy, 25

Soldier's Farewell, A, 76

Solemn Hour, A, 90

Solid Reason, A, 186

Something like a Good Shot, 51

Sonnet instead of a Bonnet, A, 21

Sound Advice, 15

Spare Girl, A, 115

Sparing his Feelings, 101

Speaking his Deep Emotions, 59

Spectacles and Bible Reading, 52

Splendid Firing, 202

Spiritualism Extraordinary, 59

Squashed, 186

Stage-Struck Hoosier, 75

"Steal Pen," The, 206

Steam Defined, 132

Stoning Stephen, 170

Story with a Moral, 18

Strange Peculiarities, 22

Stretch of Imagination, 179

Striking Definition, 103

Striking Effect of a Strike, 28

Striking Lesson, A, 122

Striking Resemblance, 150

Strong Inducement, 131

Stump Orator, A, 12

Styling the Firm, 156

Sublime and Ridiculous, 96

Substituting one Treat for another, 78

Sudden Declaration, 153

Superfluous Testimonial, 73

Sure of it, 179

Suspecting the Shell, 63

Swift Horse, A, 204

Take Care of your Baggage, 152

Taking his Patients for a Ride, 75

Taking the Starch out, 80

Tall Relations, 50

Tall Talk, 130

Talking-Match, 146

Tart, 193

Tearful Response, A, 159

Thackeray and the Pirate's Daughter, 157

Thanks to his Hens, 189

That's a Good 'Un!, 14

The House that Jeff. Built, 180

The Late Floyd, 64

The Reason Why, 110

Things I should like to See, 165

Thoughtful Mothers, 116

Tight-fisted, 142

Timely Warning, 169

Tipping them Latin, 186

Tired of his Boarding-House, 86

To make Leeches bite, 184

To make Sausages, 4

To the Point, 52

Too much Ice, 200

Too Slow for Paradise, 13

Tough Yankee, A, 117

Transatlantic Matrimonial Advertisements, 29

Treasure Trove, The, 8

Tremendous Gale, 71

True American Patriotism, 112

True, if not New, 164

True Politeness, 167

Trump Card, A, 169

Truth Wanted, 131

Two Things made to be Lost, 100

Two Things Unexpected, 152

Unacceptable Gratitude, 17

Undoubted Courage, 150

Unkind Reminder, An, 107

Unnecessary Apprehension, 96

Used to it, 118

Vegetable Head, A, 64

Verdict of a Negro Jury, 114

Very Civil War, 114

Very Likely, 56

Very Odd, that, 67

Virginian Eloquence, 170

Vocation, A, 154

War Phrases, 197

Ward's, Artemus, Courtship, 197

Ward, A., on Reorganization, 153

Ward, A., on the Negro, 62

Ward, A., to the Prince of Wales, 124

Ward Beecher's Preaching, 13

Washington Irving, 154

Way of the World, The, 23

Webster, Daniel, 189

Webster's, Daniel, Courtship, 162

Webster, Daniel, and his Bills, 138

Webster, Daniel, and William Wirt, 31

Wedlock First Instituted, 121

Western Neighbours, 98

Western Obituary Notice, 46

We wonder, too, 50

Whale at Peas, A, 158

What a Fine Woman is like, 131

What he always did at Home, 41

What he did the First Year, 11

What Irishmen do!, 105

What U. S. stands for, 118

When the Boat started, 134

When will they meet?, 194

Where the Ducks went, 127

"Where Warren fell", 9

Whiskers and Kisses, 58

Who Fiddled, 193

Whose Fault was it?, 136

Why the War goes on, 118

Wise Fool, A, 119

Wise Judge, A, 101

Wise Saws by Sam Slick, 143

With a Quill, 144

Witty Aide-de-Camp, A, 155

Witty Sentinel, A, 71

Woman-ology, 45

Wonderful, 144

Wonderful, if True, 178

"Wouldn't you like to know?", 44

Writing to the Old Woman, 20

Wrong Woman, The, 142

Wrong Train, The, 37

Yankee, The, 166

Yankee's Autobiography, A, 36

Yankee Brass, 76

Yankee Factory Girls, 170

Yankee Inquisitiveness, 176

Yankee Modesty, 188

Yankee Notion of Macbeth, 27

Yankee Portrait of John Bull, 177

Yankee Toasts, 66

Young Jeff.'s Appetite, 6

Young Lady's Sacrifice, A, 138

Young Patriot, The, 32

Your Fare, Miss, 133

Youth Indignant, 188

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