J.P. BURNHAM AND V.C. FORSYTHE
Reading edition
San Francisco
The Whitaker & Ray Co.
Incorporated
1903
Dedication.
TO MY MOTHER ON HER FIFTIETH BIRTHDAY.
Half of a century's gladness And half of a century's tears, Lost in the mighty silence Of the past and vanished years! Oh, what a sea of memories Surge back from the time gone by— The waters of Life's river; How many a smile or sigh— Has made them dance and sparkle; Or, storm-tossed as they ran, Adown the course of Being, Since the current first began! How many a note of gladness Has the music of their flow, Brought to the hearts of others To lighten their load of woe! How often, too, has Duty Claimed its sacrifice of pain? How many hours of sorrow Have been for another's gain? No mind can weigh or measure, The light that a woman's love Casts on Life's darkened pathways, Save that of the God above. From out the time that's vanished A message of Peace is borne. A future glad in Promise, Like a sunshine-laden morn— Smiles welcome now and beckons To a new and brighter day. The years to come are gladder Than those that have passed away.
Preface.
It is the custom of some authors to preface their earlier works with excuses for sending their "little volume out into the world," and to bespeak in its behalf the leniency of both critic and reader. I have no such apologies, however, to make for this work. I have confidence in its success and it will win or lose, according to its merits, no matter what I say.
"Said The Observer" represents stray ideas, gathered here and there and everywhere, which I have decked out in gay habiliments of Fancy and embellished with such wit as I possess. Do not take them seriously, I pray you, for their aim is to amuse. Do not feel offended if some pet corn is trod upon, for it is all in fun and no malice is intended.
Most of the sketches have already appeared in the Los Angeles Herald and the reader may detect in some a touch of localism, as for instance, in "The Essentials of Greatness," which refers casually to the passing of Senator Stephen M. White. "Steve White," as he was affectionately dubbed by those who knew him, was a great man in California, though, perhaps, his fame as an orator and statesman may not have penetrated far beyond the borders of the Golden State. In two other sketches references are made to Li Hung Chang. Both were written prior to the death of the distinguished Oriental diplomat, and I have chosen to explain seeming anachronisms, rather than change my narrative to conform with later events.
THE AUTHOR.
Contents.
PAGE
INFLUENCE OF THE PIPE 7
OUR FRIEND THE MURDERER 13
SCIENCE AND WEATHER 19
THE ESSENTIALS OF GREATNESS 23
HORSE SENSE 27
THE MANNISH WOMAN 31
A WONDERFUL MACHINE 36
DRAWBACKS OF THE KING BUSINESS 39
THE EATING HABIT 43
DELIGHTS OF FLASHLIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY 46
WONDERS OF SPIRITUALISM 54
THE POTENCY OF THE TESTIMONIAL 59
AMBITIONS AND THINGS 65
THE TELEPHONE FACE 69