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Representation of the Impiety and Immorality of the English Stage (1704); Some Thoughts Concerning the Stage in a Letter to a Lady (1704)

In the Play call'd, The Provok'd Wife.

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‘But more than all that, you must know I was afraid of being damn'd in those Days; for I kept sneaking, cowardly Company, Fellows that went to Church, and said Grace to their Meat, and had not the least Tincture of Quality about em.

‘Damn 'em both, with all my Heart, and every thing else that daggles a Petticoat; except four generous Whores, with Betty Sands at the Head of 'em, who were drunk with my Lord Rake and I, ten times in a Fortnight.

‘Sure, if Woman had been ready created, the Devil, instead of being kick'd down into Hell, had been married.

‘Pox of my Family.

‘Pox of her Virtue.

‘He has married me, and be damn'd to him

‘Pox of the Parson.

‘Damn Morality, and damn the Watch.

[*] This is spoken by one in a Minister's Habit.

‘[*] Let me speak and be damn'd.

‘And you and your Wife may be damn'd.

‘Stand off and be damn'd.

‘Damn me, if you han't.

‘Lord! What Notions have we silly Women from these old Philosophers of Virtue, for Virtue is this, and Virtue is that, and Virtue has its own Reward; Virtue, Virtue is an Ass, and a Gallant is worth forty on't.

‘If I should play the Wife and Cuckold him.

‘That would be playing the down-right Wife indeed.

‘I know according to the strict Statute Law of Religion, I shou'd do wrong; but if there were a Court of Chancery in Heaven, I'm sure I shou'd cast him.

‘If there were a House of Lords you might.

‘If you should see your Mistress at a Coronation, dragging her Peacocks Train, with all her State and Insolence about her, it would strike you with all the awful Thoughts that Heaven it self could pretend to, from you.

‘Madam, to oblige your Ladyship, he shall speak Blasphemy.

‘In hopes thou'lt give me up thy Body, I resign thee up my Soul.

‘A Villain, but a repenting Villain; Stuff which Saints in all Ages have been made of.

‘Satan and his Equipage; Woman tempted me, Lust weakened me, and so the Devil overcame me; as fell Adam, so fell I.

A Bill was likewise found against the Players of the other House, in the Term abovementioned, for the following Expressions; but the Indictement being wrong laid, they were acquitted: but they were Indicted the Term following for the same, which Indictment is not yet tried.

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