CHAP. VIII. National Characters. Adventures of a pair of leather Breeches. Ditto of a pound of Beef. Shewing what the French General did not do, and a Prayer which he did not pray; with a few random Shots.

Fuentes, which was our first resting place, was a very handsome village, and every family so well known to the light division, that no matter into which quarter the billet fell, the individual was received as an old and approved friend.

The change from Portugal into Spain, as alluded to in my first work, was very striking. In the former the monkish cowl seemed even on ordinary occasions to be drawn over the face of nature; for though their sun was a heavenly one, it shone over a dark and bigotted race; and though they were as ripe for mischief as those of more enlightened nations, yet even in that they were woefully defective, and their joys seemed often sadly miscalled. But at the time I speak of, as if to shroud every thing in unfathomable gloom, the ravages of the enemy had turned thousands of what (to them) were happy homes, into as many hells—their domestic peace ruined—their houses and furniture fired, and every countenance bearing the picture of melancholy and wan despair.

Their damsels' cheeks wore no roses, yet did they wear soil enough on which to rear them. But at the same time be it remarked that I quarrel not with the countenance but with the soil, for I am a pale lover myself.

In Spain, on the contrary, health and joy seemed to beam on every countenance, and comfort in every dwelling. I have observed some writers quarrel with my former statement on this subject, and maintain that though the difference in appearance was remarkable, that so far as regards the article of cleanliness, the facts were not so. With these, however, I must still differ after giving every thing due consideration. The Portuguese did not assume to be a cleanly race, and they were a filthy one in reality. The Spaniards did affect to be the former, and I do think that they approached it as nearly as may be. I allude to the peasantry, for the upper and middling classes sink into immeasurable contempt in the comparison, but their peasantry I still maintain are as fine and as cleanly a class as I ever saw. Their dress is remarkably handsome, and though I can give no opinion as to the weekly value of soap expended on their manly countenances, yet in regard to the shirt, which is their greatest pride, and neatly embroidered in the bosom according to the position of the wearer in the minds of those on whom that portion of the ornamental devolves, I can vouch for their having shewn a clean one as often as need be. And though I do not feel myself at liberty to enter into the details of the dress of their lovely black-eyed damsels, I may be permitted to say that it is highly becoming to them; and, in short, I should have some dread of staking our national credit by parading the inmates of any chance village of our own against a similar one of theirs.

Their houses too are remarkably neat and cleanly, and would be comfortable were it not for those indefatigable villainous insects that play at a perpetual hop, skip, and jump, giving occasional pinches to the exposed parts of the inmate; and yet what warm country is exempt from them or something worse. Go into boasted America, and so great is the liberty of all classes there, that what with the hum of the musquitto above, and the bug below the blanket, the unfortunate wight, as I can testify, is regularly hum-bugged out of his natural repose. As I have taken a trip across the Atlantic for the foregoing example, I cannot resist giving an anecdote to shew that our brethren on that side of the water sometimes have a night's rest sacrificed to inexpressible causes as well as natural ones.

A gentleman at the head of the law there, (not the hangman,) told me that in his early days while the roads were yet in their infancy, he was in the habit of going his circuit on horseback, with nothing but a change of linen tacked to his crupper—that one day he had been overtaken by a shower of rain before he could reach the lonely cottage, which he had destined for his night's repose—and that it interfered materially with the harmony which had hitherto existed between him and his leather breeches, for he felt uncomfortable in them, and he felt uncomfortable out of them, arising from the dread that he might never be able to get into them again. His landlady, however, succeeded in allaying his fears for the moment, and having lent him one of her nether garments for present use, she finally consigned him to bed, with injunctions to sleep undisturbed, for that she would take especial care, while they underwent the necessary fiery ordeal, that she would put that within which should preserve their capacities undiminished.

Notwithstanding the satisfactory assurance on the part of the dame, a doubt continued still to hang on the mind of the man in the petticoat; and as "the mind disturbed denies the body rest," so was every attempt of his to close an eye, met by the vision of a pair of shrivelled leathers, until at length in a fit of feverish excitement he started from his couch determined to know the worst; and throwing open the door of the kitchen, he, to his no small astonishment, beheld his leathers not only filled, but well filled too, by the landlady herself, who there stood in them, toasting and turning round and round; neither so gracefully nor so fast as Taglioni, perhaps, but still she kept turning all the same; and it, most probably, was the smoke arising from the lawyer's wet leathers which Tom Moore saw curling so gracefully above the green elms when he wrote the Woodpecker.

But to return to the Peninsula. While it must be admitted that the hidalgo's evil is the lesser, I could, nevertheless, wish that the good old Spaniard would march a little more with the spirit of the times, for by the ordinary use of a small-tooth comb, he might be enabled to limit his hair hunting to the sports of the field.

The day after our arrival at Fuentes I was amused to hear one of our soldiers describing to a comrade his last night's fare in the new quarter. Soon after his taking possession of it, three days' rations had been served out to him, and his landlady, after reconnoitring it for a while with a wistful eye, at length proposed that they should mess together while he remained in their house, to which he readily assented; and by way of making a fair beginning, he cut off about a pound of the beef which he handed over to her, but at the same time allowing her about as much play with it as a cat does to a mouse—a precaution which he had reason to rejoice in, for he presently found it transferred to a kettle then boiling on the fire, containing, as he said, thirteen buckets of water, in which his pound of beef was floating about like a cork in the middle of the ocean! "Hilloah, my nice woman, says I, if you and I are to mess together I'll just trouble you to take out twelve buckets and a half of that water, and in place thereof, that you will be pleased to put in a pound of beef for every mouth which you intend shall keep mine in company—and if you choose to give some butter or a slice or two of bacon in addition, I shall not object to it, but I'll have none of your gammon!" The dispute ended in the rifleman's being obliged to fish out his pound of beef and keep it under his own protection.

Our repose in Fuentes was short. The garrison of Almeida was blockaded with a fortnight's provision only, and two companies of ours under Colonel Cameron were immediately dispatched to shoot their bullocks while grazing on the ramparts, which still further contracted their means of subsistence.

Lord Wellington had in the mean time hurried off to the south in consequence of the pressing importance of the operations of the corps under Marshal Beresford, leaving the main army for the time being under the command of Sir Brent Spencer. In the afternoon of the 16th of April we were hastily ordered under arms, and passing through Gallegos we were halted behind a hill on the banks of the Agueda, when we found that the movement had been occasioned by the passing of a convoy of provisions which the enemy were attempting to throw into Ciudad Rodrigo, and which was at that moment with its escort of two hundred men shut up in some inclosures of stone walls within half a mile of us surrounded by our dragoons.

I don't know how it happened, but we were kept there inactive for a couple of hours with eight thousand men sending in summonses for them to surrender, when a couple of our idle guns would have sent the loose wall about their ears and made them but too happy to be allowed to do so. But as it was, the garrison of Ciudad Rodrigo came out and carried them off triumphantly from under our noses.

This was the most critical period of the whole war; the destinies not only of England but of Europe hung upon it, and all hinged on the shoulders of one man,—that man was Wellington! I believe there were few even of those who served under him capable of knowing, still less of appreciating, the nature of the master-mind which there, with God's assistance, ruled all things; for he was not only the head of the army but obliged to descend to the responsibility of every department in it. In the different branches of their various duties, he received the officers in charge, as ignorant as schoolboys, and, by his energy and unwearied perseverance, he made them what they became—the most renowned army that Europe ever saw. Wherever he went at its head, glory followed its steps—wherever he was not—I will not say disgrace, but something near akin to it ensued, for it is singular enough to remark that of all the distinguished generals who held separate commands in that army throughout the war Lord Hill alone (besides the commander-in-chief) came out of it with his fame untarnished by any palpable error. In all his battles Lord Wellington appeared to us never to leave any thing to chance. However desperate the undertaking—whether suffering under momentary defeat, or imprudently hurried on by partial success—we ever felt confident that a redeeming power was at hand, nor were we ever deceived. Those only, too, who have served under such a master-mind and one of inferior calibre can appreciate the difference in a physical as well as a moral point of view—for when in the presence of the enemy, under him, we were never deprived of our personal comforts until prudence rendered it necessary, and they were always restored to us again at the earliest possible moment. Under the temporary command of others we have been deprived of our baggage for weeks through the timidity of our chief, and without the shadow of necessity; and it is astonishing in what a degree the vacillation and want of confidence in a commander descends into the different ranks.

Of all the commanders in that army at the period I speak of, none stood more distinguished than he who was for the moment our head (the gallant Spencer,) and yet, singularly enough, the moment he was left to himself, not only his usual daring but all spirit of enterprise seemed to have forsaken him. Witness the escape of the French detachment as just related, as well as the various subsequent movements under him; whereas, within a few days, when in the field of Fuentes under Wellington, he was himself again.

While halted behind the hill already mentioned, I got my first look at the celebrated Guerilla chief, Don Julian Sanchez. He was a middling-sized thick-set fellow, with a Spanish complexion, well whiskered and mustached, with glossy black hair, and dressed in a hussar uniform. The peasantry of that part of the country used to tell rather a romantic story of the cause which induced him to take up arms,—namely, that the French had maltreated and afterwards murdered his wife and family before his face, besides firing his house, (cause enough in all conscience,) and for which he amply revenged himself, for he became the most celebrated throat-cutter in that part of the world. His band when he first took the field did not exceed fifty men, but about the period I speak of his ranks had swelled to about fifteen hundred. They were a contemptible force in the field, but brave, enterprising, and useful in their mountain fastnesses—in cutting off supplies and small detachments. I did not see his troops until some time after, when his heavy dragoons one day crossed our line of march. They afterwards cut a more respectable figure; but at that period they looked a regular set of ragamuffins, wearing cocked hats with broad white lace round the edges; yellow coats, with many more than button-holes, and red facings; breeches of various colours and no stockings, but a sort of shoe on the foot with a spur attached, and their arms were as various as their colours; some with lances, some with carabines, and in short, every one seemed as if he had equipped himself in whatever the fortune of war had thrown in his way.

As the battle of Fuentes approached, our life became one of perpetual motion, and when I raised my head from its stone pillow in the morning, it was a subject of speculation to guess within a league of its next resting place, although we were revolving within a very limited space. Nothing clings so tenaciously to my mind as the remembrance of the different spots on which I have passed a night. Out of six years campaigning it is probable that I slept at least half the period under the open canopy of heaven, (barring latterly a sheet of canvas,) and though more than twenty years have since rolled over my head, I think I could still point out my every resting place.

On the night of the 1st of May I was sent from Alameda with thirty riflemen and six dragoons to watch a ford of the Agueda. The French held a post on the opposite side—but at daylight in the morning I found they had disappeared. Seeing a Spanish peasant descending on the opposite bank—and the river not being fordable to a person on foot, while its continuous roaring through its rugged course drowned every other voice—I detached one of the dragoons, who brought him over behind him, and as he told me that the French were, at that moment, on the move to the left, I immediately transmitted the information to head quarters. I was soon after ordered to join my battalion, which I found lodged in a stubble field about half way between Gallegos and Alameda, on a piece of rising ground which we had christened Kraüchenberg's hill, in compliment to that gallant captain of German hussars, who, with his single troop, had made a brilliant and successful charge from it the year before on the enemy's advancing horsemen.

The following night we had gone to bed in the village of Espeja, but were called to arms in the middle of it, and took post in the wood behind.

With the enemy close upon us, our position was any thing but a safe one; but, as it included a conical hill, which commanded a view of their advance, Lord Wellington was anxious to retain it until the last possible moment.

The chief of the German hussars, who covered the reconnoitring party, looked rather blank when he found, next morning, that the infantry were in the act of withdrawing, and tried hard to persuade Beckwith to leave two companies of riflemen as a support, assuring him that all the cavalry in the world were unable to harm them in such a cover; but as the cover was, in reality, but a sprinkling of the Spanish oaks, our chief found it prudent to lend his deaf ear to the request. However, we all eventually reached the position of Fuentes unmolested—a piece of good luck which we had no right to expect, considering the military character of our adversaries, and the nature of the ground we had to pass over.

Having been one of the combatants in that celebrated field, and having already given a history of the battle such as the fates decreed, it only remains with me, following the example of other historians, to favour the public with my observations thereon.

In the course of my professional career several events have occurred to bother my subaltern notions on the principles of the art of war, and none more than the battle of Fuentes; but to convey a just idea of what I mean to advance, it is necessary that I should describe the ground, and while those who choose, may imagine that they see it sketched by one who never before drew any thing but the cork out of a bottle, or a month's pay out of the hands of the pay-master, others, whose imaginations are not so lively, must be contented in supposing themselves standing, with an army of thirty thousand men, between the streams of the Tourones and Dos Casas, with our right resting on Nava d'Aver, and our left on Fort Conception, a position extending seven miles.

The French advanced from Rodrigo with forty-five thousand men to relieve their garrison, which we had shut up in Almeida, which is in rear of our left—and in place of going the straight road to it, through Alameda and Fort Conception, Massena spreads his army along our whole front, and finally attacks the most distant part of it, (Nava d'Aver.)

That, I believe, was all strictly according to rule, for the purpose of preserving his base of operations; but I am labouring to shew that it was an occasion on which Massena might and ought to have set every rule at defiance, for, in possession of a strong fortress under his own lee, and another under that of his adversary, with an army in the field exceeding ours by a fourth, he ought to have known that no possible cast of the dice could have enabled us to do more than maintain the blockade—that, if we gave him a defeat it was impossible for us to follow it up, and if he defeated us our ruin was almost inevitable—in short, had I been Prince of Essling, I would have thrust every thing but my fighting men under the protection of the guns of Rodrigo, and left myself, free and unfettered, to go where I liked, do what I could, and, if need be, to change bases with my adversary; and it is odd to me if I would not have cut such capers as would have astonished the great Duke himself.

From Fuentes to Alameda, a distance of between two and three miles, trusting to the ruggedness of the banks of the Dos Casos, the position was nearly altogether unoccupied on our side, and had Massena but taken the trouble to wade through that stream as often as I had, sometimes for love and sometimes for duty, he would have found that it was passable in fifty places—and, as the ground permitted it, had he assembled twenty thousand infantry there, to be thrust over at day-light, and held the rest of his army in readiness to pounce upon the wing to be attacked—and, had he prayed too, as did the Scottish knight of old, (who had more faith in his good sword than in the justice of his cause,) in these words, "O, Lord, we all know that the race is not to the swift nor the battle to the strong, and that, whichever side you take, will be sure to win; but, if you will, for this once, stand aside, and leave us two to fight it out, I shall be for ever obliged to you"—he might then have commenced the day's work with a tolerable prospect of success—for, if half the twenty thousand men, on reaching the top of the hill, remained to keep the one wing in check, and the remainder turned against the flank of the devoted one, while his main army took it in front, they would have had good cause to feel ashamed of themselves if they did not dispose of it long before human aid could have reached, and odd would it have been if the others had not then considered it high time to be off.

What alterations Lord Wellington would have made in his dispositions had he found himself opposed to one who held such fighting views as I do, it is not for me to say; but it is evident that he estimated Massena at his full value when he persisted in holding such an extended position with an inferior army, while the other, with his superior force, was satisfied with battering a portion of his best regimentalE brains out against the stone walls about Fuentes, and retiring, at last, without attaining the object of his advance.

The foregoing reflections will, no doubt, to many, appear wild; but, with a tolerable knowledge of the ground, and of the comparative strength, I am not the less satisfied that my plan may be often tried with success.

In speaking of distance, however, it must not be forgotten that in war the opposing bodies come together with wonderful celerity; for, although soldiers do not see so far as severed lovers, who, by transmitting their looks at each other through the moon or some favoured star, contrive to kill space more quickly, yet the soldier, who has no great stomach for the battle, and sees his enemy in the morning almost out of sight, begins to reckon himself secure for that day, must be rather astonished when he finds how soon a cannon-ball makes up the difference between them!

Packenham, (the gallant Sir Edward,) who was then adjutant-general, led the brigade of the third division, which restored the battle in the village. He came to us immediately after, faint with excitement, where we were standing in reserve, and asked if any officer could oblige him with some wine or brandy—a calabash was unslung for his use, and after taking a small sip out of it, and eulogizing, in the handsomest manner, the conduct of the troops, he left us to renew his exertions wherever they might be wanted. He was as gallant a spirit as ever went into a field!

Lord Wellington, in those days, (as he was aware,) was always designated among the soldiers by the name of Old Douro. The morning after the battle, the celebrated D. M. of the guards, rode up to a group of staff officers, and demanded if any of them had seen Beau Douro this morning? His Lordship, who was there reclining on the ground in his boat-cloak, started up, and said, "Well! by —— I never knew I was a beau before!" The same morning that officer came galloping to us with an order—our chief, (Sidney Beckwith,) who was never on horseback except when his duty required it, had the greatest horror of the approach of a staff officer, who generally came at full speed until within a yard or two—seeing M. coming on as usual on his fiery dark chesnut, he began waving his hand for him to stop before he had got within fifty yards, and calling out, "Aye, aye, that will do! we'll hear all you have got to say quite well enough!"

Among the many great and goodly names of general officers which the Army-list furnished, it was lamentable to see that some were sent from England, to commands in that army, who were little better than old wives,F and who would have been infinitely more at home in feeding the pigs and the poultry of a farm-yard than in furnishing food for powder in the field; yet so it was:—the neglect of such an one to deliver an order with which he had been entrusted, lost us the fame and the fruits of our victory, it prevented a gallant regiment from occupying the important post intended for it, and it cost that regiment its gallant chief, whose nice sense of honour could see no way of removing the stain which the neglect of his superior had cast upon his reputation, than by placing a pistol to his own head. His fate was sadly and deeply deplored by the whole army.

As this particular period furnished few occurrences to vary the monotony of the hammer-and-tongs sort of life we led, I shall take advantage of the opportunity it affords to fire a few random shots for the amusement of my readers.

SHOT THE FIRST. The Duel.

On reaching Paris, after the battle of Waterloo, we found Johnny Petit in very bad humour; and that three out of every four of the officers in each army were not disposed of by private contract, with pistols and small swords, must be ascribed to our ignorance alike of their language and their national method of conveying offence; for, in regard to the first, although we were aware that the sacre bœuftake and sacre pomme de terre, with which we were constantly saluted, were not applied complimentarily, yet, as the connecting offensive links were lost to most of us, these words alone were not looked upon as of a nature requiring satisfaction; and, with regard to practical insults, a favourite one of theirs, as we afterwards discovered, was to tread, as if by accident, on the toe of the person to be insulted. Now, as the natural impulse of the Englishman, on having his toe trodden on, is to make a sort of apology to the person who did it, by way of relieving him of a portion of the embarrassment which he expects to be the attendant of such awkwardness, many thousand insults of the kind passed unnoticed:—the Frenchman flattering himself that he had done a bold thing,—the Englishman a handsome one; whereas, had the character of the tread been distinctly understood, it would, no doubt, have been rewarded on the spot by our national method—a douse on the chops! However, be that as it may, my business is to record the result of one in which there was no misunderstanding; and, as some one has justly remarked, "when people are all of one mind, it is astonishing how well they agree."

It occurred at an early hour in the morning, at one of those seminaries for grown children so common in Paris, and the parties (a French officer and one of ours) agreed to meet at day-light, which left them but brief space for preparation, so that when they arrived on the ground, and their fighting irons were paraded, the Frenchman's were found to consist of a brace of pocket-pistols, with finger-sized barrels,—while our officer had a huge horse pistol, which he had borrowed from the quarter-master, and which looked, in the eyes of the astonished Frenchman, like a six-pounder, the bore of it being large enough to swallow the stocks, locks, and barrels of his brace, with the ball-bag and powder-horn into the bargain; and he, therefore, protested vehemently against the propriety of exposing himself to such fearful odds, which being readily admitted on the other side, they referred the decision to a halfpenny whether they should take alternate shots with the large, or one each with the small.

The Fates decreed in favour of the small arms; and, the combatants having taken their ground, they both fired at a given signal, when the result was that the Frenchman's pistol burst, and blew away his finger, while our man blew away his ramrod; and as they had no longer the means of continuing the fight, they voted that they were a brace of good fellows, and after shaking the Frenchman by his other three fingers, our officer accompanied him home to breakfast.

SHOT THE SECOND. Cannon-Law.

While stationed, in the province of Artois, with the Army of Occupation, one of our soldiers committed a most aggravated case of highway-robbery upon a Frenchwoman, for which he was tried by a court-martial, condemned, and suffered death within three days. About a fortnight after, when the whole affair had nearly been forgotten by us, the French report of the outrage, after having gone through its routine of the different official functionaries, made its appearance at our head-quarters, describing the atrocious nature of the offence, and calling for vengeance on the head of the offender. The commander-in-chief's reply was, as usual, short, but to the purpose:—The man was hanged for it ten days ago.

SHOT THE THIRD. Civil Law.

Whilst on the station mentioned in the foregoing anecdote, two of our medical officers went in a gig, on a short tour, in the neighbourhood of our cantonments, and having unconsciously passed the line of demarkation, they were pulled up on their entrance into the first town they came to, for the payment of the usual toll; but they claimed a right to be exempted from it on the score of their being officers of the Army of Occupation. The collector of the customs, however, being of a different opinion, and finding his oratorical powers thrown away upon them, very prudently called to his aid one of those men-at-arms with which every village in France is so very considerately furnished. That functionary, squaring his cocked hat, giving his mustachoes a couple of twists, and announcing that he was as brave as a lion, as brave as the devil, and sundry other characters of noted courage, he, by way of illustration, drew his sword, and making half-a-dozen furious strokes at the paving stones, made the sparks fly from them like lightning. Seeing that the first half dozen had failed to extract the requisite quantity of sous, he was proceeding to give half-a-dozen more, but his sword broke at the first, and our two knights of the lancet, having fewer scruples about surrendering to him as an unarmed than an armed man, made no further difficulty in accompanying him to the municipal magistrate.

That worthy, after hearing both sides of the case with becoming gravity, finally sentenced our two travellers to pay for the repairs of the sword which had been so courageously broken in defence of their civic rights.

SHOT THE FOURTH. Sword Law.

At the commencement of the battle of Waterloo, three companies of our riflemen held a sand bank, in front of the position, and abreast of La Haye Saint, which we clung to most tenaciously, and it was not until we were stormed in front and turned in both flanks that we finally left it. Previous to doing so, however, a French officer rushed out of their ranks and made a dash at one of ours, but neglecting the prudent precaution of calculating the chances of success before striking the first blow, it cost him his life. The officer he stormed happened to be a gigantic highlander about six feet and a half—and, like most big men, slow to wrath, but a fury when roused. The Frenchman held that in his hand which was well calculated to bring all sizes upon a level—a good small sword—but as he had forgotten to put on his spectacles, his first (and last) thrust passed by the body and lodged in the highlander's left arm. Saunders's blood was now up (as well as down) and with our then small regulation half-moon sabre, better calculated to shave a lady's-maid than a Frenchman's head, he made it descend on the pericranium of his unfortunate adversary with a force which snapped it at the hilt. His next dash was with his fist (and the hilt in it) smack in his adversary's face, which sent him to the earth; and though I grieve to record it, yet as the truth must be told, I fear me that the chivalrous Frenchman died an ignominious death, viz. by a kick. But where one's own life is at stake, we must not be too particular.

SHOT THE FIFTH. Love Law.

Of all the evils with which a sober community can be cursed, there is none so great as a guard-house; for while the notable house-wife is superintending the scouring of her kitchen coppers, and the worthy citizen is selling his sweets, the daughters are as surely to be found lavishing their's upon their gaudy neighbour, while the nursery-maid standing a story higher is to be seen sending her regards a step lower—into the sentry-box.

Though many years have now passed away, I remember as if but yesterday, my first guard mounting, in a certain garrison town which shall be nameless. After performing the first usual routine of military duties, my next was, as a matter of course, to reconnoitre the neighbourhood; for if a house happened to be within range of the officer's beat, he seldom had to look for an adventure in vain,—nor had I on the occasion alluded to. The station was in the centre of a populous city, the purlieus were genteel, and at the window of one of the opposite houses I soon descried a bevy of maidens who seemed to be regarding me with no small curiosity.

Eyes met eyes which looked again, and as all seemed to go merry as a marriage bell, I took out my pencil and motioned as if I would write, which meeting with an approving smile, I straightway indited an epistle suitable to the occasion, and shewing it to them when ready, I strolled past the door, where, as I expected, I found a fair hand which seemed to belong to nobody, in readiness to receive it.

In the course of a few minutes I received a note from the same mysterious hand, desiring to be informed for which of the group my last effusion was intended; and though the question was rather a puzzler to a person who had never seen them before, and, even then, too far off to be able to distinguish whether their eyes were green or yellow, yet I very judiciously requested that my correspondent would accept it on her own account. It was arranged accordingly, and her next epistle, while it preached prudence and discretion, desired that I should come to the door at eleven at night when she would have an opportunity of speaking to me.

It may be imagined that time flew on leaden wings until the arrival of the appointed hour, when proceeding as directed, I found the door ajar, and the vision of the hand, now with a body in the back ground, beckoning me to enter. Following the invitation the door was gently closed, and I was soon in a large dimly lighted hall, by the side of my fair incognita, with my hand clasped in hers. But ah me! I had barely time to unburthen myself of a hurricane of sighs (enough to have blown a fire out) and to give one chaste salute, when papa's well-known knock was heard at the door and dissolved the charm.

In an agony of affright my fair friend desired me to run up stairs to the first landing, and as I valued my life, not to stir from it until she should come to fetch me.

Misfortunes they say seldom come single, and so I found it, for I had scarcely reached the desired place when the voice of the sentry thundered, "Guard, turn out!" and conveyed to me the very pleasant information that the grand rounds approached, while I, the officer of the guard, was absent, the captive of a damsel. I was in a precious scrape; for, prior to the arrival of the other evil, I held it to be somewhat more than doubtful whether I was reserved for a kiss or a kick, but the odds were now two to one in favour of the latter, for if I did not find my way outside the walls within three quarters of a minute, it was quite certain that if I failed to receive what was due to me inside the house I should catch it outside, by getting kicked from the service. My case was therefore desperate, and as the voice of papa was still heard at the stair-foot and precluded the possibility of bolting undetected by the door, my only alternative was the stair window.

The field officer was passing under it as I threw up the sash, and though the distance to the ground loomed fearfully long there was no time for deliberation, but bundling out, and letting myself down by the hands as far as I could, I took my chance of the remainder and came down on the pavement with such a tremendous clatter that I thought I had been shivered to atoms. The noise fortunately startled the field officer's horse, so that it was as much as he could do to keep his seat for the moment, which gave me time to gather myself up; when, telling him that in my hurry to get to my place before him, I had stumbled against a lamp post and fallen, the affair passed away without further notice, but my aching bones, for many an after-day, would not permit me to forget the adventure of that night.

In my next turn for guard at the same place I got a glimpse of my fair friend, and but for once. I saw on my arrival that the family were in marching order, and my old acquaintance, the hand, soon after presented me with a billet announcing their immediate departure for the season, to a distant watering place. She lamented the accident which she feared had befallen me, and as she thought it probable that we would never meet again, she begged that I would forgive and look upon it merely as the badinage of a giddy girl.

SHOT THE SIXTH. At a sore subject.

"They who can feel for other's woes should ne'er have cause to mourn their own!" so sayeth the poet, and so should I say if I saw them feeling; but I have found such a marvellous scarcity of those tender-hearted subjects on the field of battle, that, in good sooth, if the soldier had not a tear to shed for his own woes, he stood a very good chance of dying unwept, which may either be considered a merry or a dreary end, according to the notion of the individual.

In taking a comparative view of the comforts attending a sea and land fight, I know not what evils our nautical brethren may have to contend against, which we have not; but they have this advantage over us—that, whatever may be the fate of the day, they have their bed and breakfast, and their wounds are promptly attended to. This shot, be it observed, is especially fired at the wounded.

When a man is wounded the corps he belongs to is generally in action, and cannot spare from the ranks the necessary assistance, so that he is obliged to be left to the tender mercies of those who follow after, and they generally pay him the attention due to a mad dog, by giving him as wide a berth as they possibly can—so that he often lies for days in the field without assistance of any kind.

Those who have never witnessed such scenes will be loth to believe that men's hearts can get so steeled; but so it is—the same chance befals the officer as the soldier, and one anecdote will illustrate both.

At the battle of Vittoria one of our officers was disabled by a shot through the leg, but having contrived to drag himself to a road-side, he laid himself down there, in the hope that, among the passing thousands, some good Samaritan might be found with compassion enough to bind up his wound, and convey him to a place of shelter.

The rear of a battle is generally a queer place—the day is won and lost there a dozen times, unknown to the actual combatants—fellows who have never seen an enemy in the field, are there to be seen flourishing their drawn swords, and "cutting such fantastic tricks before high heaven, as make angels weep," while others are flying as if pursued by legions of demons; and, in short, while every thing is going on in front with the order and precision of a field-day, in rear every thing is confusion worse confounded.

When my wounded friend took post on the road-side, it was in the midst of a panic amongst the followers of the army, caused by an imaginary charge of cavalry—he tried in vain, for a length of time, to attract the notice of somebody, when his eyes were at length regaled by a staff surgeon of his acquaintance, who approached amid the crowd of fugitives, and, having no doubt but he would at length receive the requisite attention, he hailed him by name as soon as he came within reach. The person hailed, pulled up, with "Ah! my dear fellow, how do you do? I hope you are not badly hit?" "I can't answer for that," replied my friend, "all I know is, that my leg is bleeding profusely, and until some good-natured person dresses it and assists me to remove, here I must lie!" "Ah! that's right," returned the other, "keep yourself quiet—this is only an affair of cavalry—so that you may make yourself quite comfortable," and, clapping spurs to his horse, he was out of sight in a moment!

The next known character who presented himself was a volunteer, at that time attached to the regiment—an eccentric sort of a gentleman, but one who had a great deal of method in his eccentricity—for, though he always went into battle with us, I know not how it happened, but no one ever saw him again until it was all over—he must have been an especial favourite of the fickle goddess—for, by his own shewing, his absence from our part of the battle was always occasioned by his accidentally falling in with some other regiment which had lost all its officers, and, after rallying and leading them on to the most brilliant feat of the day, he, with the modesty becoming a hero, left them alone in their glory—in ignorance of the person to whom they owed so much, while he retired to his humble position as a volunteer!

On the occasion referred to, however, in place of being at the head of a regiment and leading them on to the front, he was at the head of half a dozen horses, which he had contrived to scrape together in the field, and was leading them the other road. As soon as he had descried my wounded friend he addressed him as did the doctor—was remarkably glad to see him, and hoped he was not badly hit—and, having received a similar reply, he declared that he was very sorry to hear it—very—"but," added he, "as you are lying there, at all events, perhaps you will be good enough to hold these horses for me until I return, for I know where I can get about as many more!"

Patience had not then ceased to be a virtue—and, lest my readers should think that I am drawing too largely on theirs, I shall resume the thread of my narrative.