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Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 99, September 20, 1890

Volume 99 — THE QUICKSAND!

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Is this the Eagle-hunter, The valiant fate-confronter, The soldier brave, and blunter Of speech than BISMARCK's self? This bungler all-disgracing, This braggart all-debasing. This spurious sportsman, chasing No nobler prey than pelf? The merest "fly in amber," He after eagles clamber? Nay, faction's ante-chamber Were fitter place for him, A trifler transitory, To gasconade of "glory"! He'd foul fair France's story, Her lustre pale and dim. Les Coulisses? Ah, precisely! They suit his nature nicely, Who bravely, nobly, wisely, Can hardly even "act." Histrio all blague and blather, Is it not pity, rather, One Frenchman should foregather With him in selfish pact? In selfish pact—but silly. His neighbouring, willy-nilly, Must smirch the Bee, the Lily, Or stain the snow-white flag. Wielder of mere stage-dagger, Loud lord of empty swagger, In peril's hour a lagger. A Paladin of Brag! And now his venture faileth, And now his valour paleth; Et après? What availeth His aid to those who'd use him? Imperial or Royal, What "patron" will prove loyal Unto this "dupe"? They'll joy all To mock, expose, abuse him! But from the contest shrinking, The draught of failure drinking, In trickery's quicksand sinking, Pulls he not others down? Will PLON-PLON stand securely, The COMTE pose proudly, purely, Whilst slowly but most surely Their tool must choke or drown? Indifferent France sits smiling. And what avails reviling? Such pitch without defiling Can "Prince" or "Patriot" touch? This quicksand unromantic Closes on him, the Antic, Whose hands with gestures frantic Contiguous coat-tails clutch. The furious factions splutter, Power's cheated claimants mutter, And foiled fire-eaters utter Most sanguinary threats. "He Freedom's fated suckler? The traitor, trickster, truckler!" So fumes the fierce swash-buckler, And his toy-rapier whets. But will that quicksand only Engulph him lost and lonely? The fraud exposed, the known lie, The bribe at length betrayed, Must whelm this sham detected, But what may be expected From "Honour" shame-infected, And "Kingship" in the shade?

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