Volume 99 — PROGRESS—FIN DE SIÈCLE!
Reading edition
1891. Vessels laid up by the Shipping Federation.
1892. The Railway Union decide to stop all traffic until labour is cheaper.
1893. The United Cooperative Stores secure monopoly of Trade, and then close until better times.
1894. Army and Navy disbanded, join the Burglar Association, of which the Police are now members.
1895. Publication of newspapers throughout the civilised world, suspended.
1896. Universal redistribution of land, and personal property.
1897. Conversion of every public building on the Four Quarters of the Globe into a refuge for the indigent.
1898. Strike of the Butchers, the Bakers and the Candlestick-makers.
1899. Strike of the Doctors, and the Undertakers—Fin de Siècle!
1900. Strike of the Lawyers—Fin du Monde!
THE SPREAD OF CULTURE DOWNWARDS.
Jones (to Mrs. J.). "ESKIR VOO NE PONXAY PÂH KER LA NOOVELLE FUM-DE-SHOMB AYT EXTRARDINAIRMONG JOLEE?"
Mrs. J. (who is over-considerate of her Servants). "WEE—MAIS IL NE FO PÂH PARLY FRONXAY DEVONG LEY DOMESTEEK; CE N'AY PÂH POLEE, VOO SAVVY!"
The New Scotch Housemaid. "OH, MONSIEUR, QUANT À ÇA, CE N'EST PAS LA PEINE DE VOUS GÊNER DEVANT MOI. JE COMPRENDS ASSEZ BIEN LE FRANÇAIS!"