Volume 156 — WITH THE RED GUARDS.
Reading edition
A good deal of curiosity exists regarding the management of the Bolshevik army, in which it is stated that discipline does not exist. A copy of Battalion Orders may therefore be of interest:
BATTALION ORDERS
BY MAJOR TROTOFF
(Commanding the 22nd Battalion the Red Guards).
(1) DETAIL.
Disorderly Officer—LOOT VODKAWITCH.
Next for duty (if so disposed): LOOT PUTAWAYSKY.
(2) PARADES.
The Battalion (or such of it as has no other engagement) will parade as strong as possible on the Peter-and-Paulsky Prospekt, at 10.30 A.M. for 9.30 A.M.
DRESS.
Barging order, with rifles, razors, knives, pokers and horsewhips.
The following scheme will be carried out:—
General Idea.—A few families of the Bourgeois class have taken up a position in certain cellars in West End of City. Patrols report that they still possess a few valuables.
Special Idea.—The O.C. invites the Battalion to occupy district and help itself.
(3) COMMAND.
The Second in Command of this unit regrets to announce that he found it necessary to sentence his Commanding Officer to forty-two days No. 1 F.P. for attempting to maintain discipline; the Second in Command therefore assumes command of this unit in the absence of the C.O. now serving sentence.
(4) COURSE.
Would a few officers mind being detailed for the hundred-and-twenty-first course in the use of Private House Grenades, 13th of this month?
(5) BOOTS, BOLSHEVISTS FOR THE USE OF, ISSUE OF.
The Quartermaster would be greatly obliged if private gentlemen of the Battalion requiring boots would favour him with a visit at any time during the day or night.
If not inconvenient to them it would be a kindness if they let him know what they take.
NOTICE.
The Officer at present in command of the Battalion has pleasure in announcing that the private residence of the Commanding Officer, which contains a large number of objects of great beauty and value, is through its owner's unavoidable absence at present unguarded.
In these circumstances the O.C. is pleased to grant an extension to all ranks until twelve midnight.
P. PIPSKY,
Captain and Agitant.
A Super-Mormon.
"A Nelson soldier in a letter states that General —— informed his unit that he had 2,000 wives to ship out to New Zealand, and another 2,000 would be ready to leave England during the next few months."—New Zealand Paper.
There was an industrial freak, As a labourer sadly to seek; But he leapt into fame By preferring a claim For a general Ten-Minutes' Week.
Vicar (to parishioner who has violent quarrels with her neighbour), "MRS. CRABBE SENT A MESSAGE THAT SHE HAS QUITE FORGIVEN YOU. WHAT MESSAGE CAN I TAKE TO HER?"
Parishioner. "YOU CAN SAY I 'OPE SHE'LL DIE 'APPY."