Volume 153 — NEW MEN AND OLD FACES.
Reading edition
[According to a writer in The Daily Chronicle, Lord Morley's face "in conformation gets more and more like Goethe's."]
VISCOUNT, better known as plain JOHN MORLEY, As I gather from a chatty screed, Ever daily grows exteriorly (Pray forgive a rhymer's urgent need) More like GOETHE—please pronounce it "Gertie"— Who expired soon after eighteen-thirty. But this instance is not isolated, As a survey of our statesmen shows; WINSTON now suggests a long post-dated DAN O'CONNELL in his mouth and nose; NORTHCLIFFE's growing more Napoleonic Than the Corsican, though less laconic. In the noble lineaments of BILLING Shrewd observers (like myself) can trace Wonderful, inspiring, vivid, thrilling Memories of JULIUS CAESAR'S face, With a hint of something far more regal, More suggestive of the soaring eagle. I admit GEORGE MOORE is not yet showing Marked resemblance to his namesake, TOM; But great CHESTERTON is hourly growing Almost indistinguishable from Dr. JOHNSON; daily grows more plain SHAKSPEARE'S facial forecast of HALL CAINE. HALDANE and his spiritual brother, SCHOPENHAUER, that dyspeptic sage, Monthly grow so very like each other, As portrayed in MAXSE'S lurid page, That it passes MAXSE'S Christian charity To detect the least dissimilarity. BELLOC is approximating closely To the massive mien of CHARLES JAMES FOX; BUCHAN plagiarizes very grossly From the rapt expression of JOHN KNOX; And the LAUREATE, if his hair grew scanty Or he shaved his beard, might look like DANTE. CLARA BUTT, the eminent musician, Vividly resembles PERICLES; SARGENT and the late lamented TITIAN Are as like each other as two peas; LOREBURN, known to cronies as "Bob" Reid, Duplicates the Venerable BEDE. But enough of this identifying Instances of the recurrent face; Rather let us foster an undying Resolution in the British race Evermore and evermore to shun Any imitation of the Hun.
A POSER FROM THE BENCH.
From the report of a collision case:—
"Mr. Justice ——: 'Which car hit the other first?' 'I cannot say.'"—Freeman's Journal.
"OUR SWEEP IN THE HOLY LAND."—Daily News.
Ours is in Mesopotamia.

HOW IT STRIKES A SOLDIER.
THE KAISER. "WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF THIS LLOYD GEORGE AFFAIR?"
MARSHAL VON HINDENBURG. "I'VE NO TIME TO READ POLITICAL SPEECHES, SIRE. THIS FELLOW HAIG KEEPS ME TOO BUSY."