Volume 153 — THE ARTISETTE.
Reading edition
(An Engineering School for Women has been started in Scotland.)
What if my lady should appear In a mechanic's grimy gear? I shall not squeamishly decline To figure at her shrine. If Vulcan's smoky sway precludes An assignation in the woods, I shall not linger less elate Outside the foundry gate. When she knocks off at eventide I'll flutter fondly to her side, And demonstrate that grease and oil Can't loosen love's sweet coil. Most tenderly my tongue shall wag To Amaryllis on the slag, Whilst I endeavour to confine Her horny hand in mine.
Personal.
"Pat. Don't be disappointed. Nothing amis. Iris."—Calcutta Statesman.
Only a letter gone astray.
"Apartments (furnished and unfurnished) to be let, outside air radius."—Daily Telegraph.
A little suffocating, perhaps.
"If a million quarter acres in the country were left uncultivated, the result would be that a quarter of a million acres would be left uncultivated."—Scotch Paper.
Examined and found correct.
Extract from a speech by Lord SELBORNE:—
"In that ouse Capital was very fully represented—he thought over-represented."—Daily Telegraph.
The printer seems to have thought so too, when he cut the capital out.
THE HIGHWAYMAN.
"TAXI! TAXI!" "WHAT ABAHT IT?" "I WANT TO GO TO HAMPSTEAD." "DO YER?"
"I'LL DOUBLE YOUR LEGAL FARE." "DOUBLE THAT AGIN AN' I'LL TAKE YER—'ALF-WAY." "AN', MIND YER, I WOULDN'T 'AVE BROUGHT YER AS FAR AS THIS ONLY I 'APPENED TO 'AVE BIN COMIN' ANY'OW. I LIVE UP 'ERE."
Officer (returning to France in heavy sea). "I—HOPE—TO—HEAVENS—THE NEXT—WAR THEY HAVE—WILL—BE—IN ENGLAND."
