Volume 153 — BOOKS AND BOOKS.
Reading edition
["The last books of the Winter season are creeping out, and some are important and some are not."—Daily Chronicle.]
The last books of Winter, Some slim and some stout, From the hands of the printer Are now "creeping out"; And it's helpful to learn from A man on the spot That some are important And others are not. And yet the conviction Expressed in this guise In the matter of fiction I'd like to revise; For of the romances Unceasingly shot From the press, most are piffle And very few not. From minstrelsy's mêlée, Its foam and its surge, A Keats or a Shelley May haply emerge; Or there may be a Tupper To leaven the lot— Some bards are immortal And others are not. We're certain to meet with— The stock never fails— Some Memoirs replete with Fatiguing details; But the chance isn't great of A Lockhart and Scott, Or a Boswell and Johnson— No, certainly not. Some prophet whose coming Is yet undivined May set the world humming And stagger mankind; It may be a Darwin Some publisher's got Up his sleeve, or it may be Some one who is not. There may be some clinkers Now "creeping" to light, Tremendous deep thinkers Or high in their flight; There may be diffusers Of air that is hot; There may be a Bergson, Again there may not. Though the publishing season Is now on the wane, This isn't a reason Why we should complain; For the view of the expert— His "i's" when we dot— Is that some books are useful, But most of them rot.
Hostess (playfully). "WHAT—HAVEN'T YOU FINISHED YET?"
Sandy (regarding cake, from which he has been told to help himself). "AH, BUT YE KEN, A CAKE O' THIS SIZE ISNA SAE SOON EATEN AS YE MAY THENK."
From the report of a speech by the Chief Justice of New Zealand:—
"His Excellency the Governor may make any conditions he pleases. In fact it is a case of 'Hoc volo sic jubes; sit pro ratione valunters.' I do not think the word can be read in that wide sense."—New Zealand Times.
Nor do we.
Another Impending Apology.
"INDIAN DEFENCE FORCE ORDERS. CALCUTTA SOTTISH."—The Empire (Calcutta).
"Defendant was fined 20s. for the abusive language which, said the Chairman, was the worst the Magistrates had ever seen."—Provincial Paper.
Or even tasted.
"Antiques are the 'best sellers' at all bazaars, and one meets hunters of them all over the country. I hear of Mrs. —— engaged on the chase at Bath for her charity scheme. The Duchess of —— was there, too, taking the waters."—Daily Mirror.
Some of our collectors will stop at nothing.