IF NOT, WHY NOT?

["Sarah Grand has contributed an article on 'Should irascible Old Gentlemen be taught to Knit?' to the forthcoming issue of 'Phil May's Winter Annual.'"—Evening paper, October 2.]

This will shortly be followed by a series of papers on the following subjects:—"Shall hysterical Old Ladies be encouraged to smoke?"

"Should elderly, short-tempered Dowagers be permitted to use bad language?"

"Shall Octogenarian Barmaids be obliged to flirt?"

"May decayed Duchesses play pitch-and-toss?"

"Shall Professional Beauties of a certain age be compulsorily retired?"

"Are Burlesque Actresses of over forty years' standing to attend Sunday-school?"

"May Ballet-girls teach their grand-children to knit?"

"Should cross-eyed Viscountesses catch flies?"

"Ought Old Girls generally to make use of slang?"

"Should Prima donnas in their dotage wear blue pinafores?"

"Can the 'Shirt-front Brigade' be taught 'good form'?"

"May Lady Novelists dispense with the historic present?"

"Should much-married Adventuresses read The Family Herald?

"May timid Gentlewomen join the Pioneer Club?"

And "Is not the New Woman played out?"

A BACKWARD CROP.

Young Mr. Green (who wants a Hunter for the coming Season). "Ya—as; but he's got such a Seedy Tail!"

Dealer. "Seedy? Ah, that's it! Just germinatin', it is. Want o' Sunshine, yer see. Lor' bless y', things is mostly bin a bit backard this Season!"