Volume 103 — LES ENFANTS TERRIBLES!
Reading edition
["It is to be sincerely hoped that there is no truth in the rumour that a paper for children will shortly make its appearance, entirely written and illustrated by children under fifteen years of age."—St. James's Gazette, October 12th.]
Why, churlish critic, do you hope sincerely The rumour, which you mention, is untrue? Mere prejudice makes you regard severely The cause of liberty which we pursue. We are, The Prattler will establish clearly, Quite competent to edit a review; The age of greatest wisdom will be seen To be decidedly below fifteen. We never showed, as we need hardly mention, That fabled ignorance about the stars, From earliest days we spoke about 'declension,' And argued on the atmosphere of Mars; While parents we put up with, more attention We paid towards another kind of "pars."; Full soon was lit the journalistic flame,— We lisped in leaders, for the leaders came. That foolish custom, which, at present smothers Our youthful genius, we shall supersede. Here are some papers which, with many others, Will make The Prattler eminent indeed;— A series on "The Management of Mothers," Will meet, we hope, a long-experienced need; Elsewhere we'll note, in some attractive way, The latest long-clothes fashion of the day. Instruction in the art of window-breaking, And modes to tame a fiery governess, Descriptions of perambulator-making— No need on details to lay further stress, You'll own our journalistic undertaking, Must prove an unequivocal success; While you, who uttered this untimely sneer, Will blush, apologise, and disappear!
MY FIRST BRIEF.
When you, my first brief, were delivered, Every fibre in me quivered With delight. I seemed to see Myself admitted a Q.C.; Piles of briefs upon the table, More work to do than I was able; Clients scrambling for advice, Then LORD CHANCELLOR in a trice. I seized my virgin pencil blue, Marked and perused you through and through. The story brief, instructions short, Defendant in a County Court, It needed not an ounce of sense To see that you had no defence. But, erudite in English law, I fashioned bricks without the straw. Around my chamber-floor I sped. Harangued the book-case on each head; DEMOSTHENES and CICERO On hearing me had cried a go. Then I must own that I was nettled— Out of Court the case was settled. All my points were left unmade, And the fee is left unpaid.