Volume 103 — DOE VERSUS ROE(DENT).
Reading edition
["The basements of the Royal Courts of Justice have lately been invaded by swarms of mice. They have become very audacious, and have penetrated into the Courts themselves, whose walls are lined with legal volumes, the leaves of which provide them with a rich feast."—Daily Paper.]
For students of the law to "eat Their terms" is obviously right, But to devour the books themselves Is impolite. Unfortunately Mr. STREET. Who planned the legal edif-īce, Designed a splendid trap for men, But not for mice. To view the Courts at midnight now, The Courts all in the stilly Strand, With rodents squeaking out their pleas, That would be grand! No Ushers 'ush them; they consume The stiffest calf you ever saw, Developing, these curious beasts, A taste for Law. They fill—perhaps—the box wherein, Twelve bothered men have often sat, And try, with every proper form, Some absent cat. A fore-mouse probably they choose, The culprit's advocate deride, And fix upon that cat the guilt Of mouseycide. At the Refreshment-bars, perchance, They eat the cakes, and drink the milk, And in the Robing-room indulge In "taking silk." The Judges' sacred Bench itself From scampering feet is not exempt; With calmness they commit, of Court, Frightful "contempt." Through Byles on Bills they eat their way; Law "Digests" they at will digest; Not even Coke on Littleton Sticks on their chests! Wanted—the stodgiest Law-book out! The Judges soon must note these facts, And try a copy of the Ju- -dicature Acts!
WHY THE FRENCH WON THE BOAT-RACE.
(Answers supplied by an Unprejudiced Briton.)
Because the English Eight had had no practice on the Seine.
Because the Londoners had had a fearful passage crossing the Channel.
Because they smashed their boat, and had to have it repaired.
Because the English steering might have been better.
Because the weather was intolerable, and chiefly affected the Englishmen.
Because the Londoners had no chance of pulling together.
Because the French knew the course better than the English.
Because the race should have been rowed weeks before.
Because the race should not have been rowed for months.
Because the British naturally liked to see the foreigners win.
And last (and least), because the French had by far the better crew!
ECCLESIASTICAL INTELLIGENCE.—The style, title, office, and dignity of Archbishop of Canterbury, with all appurtenances thereto belonging, with all emoluments, spiritualities and temporalities appertaining, have been conferred by letters patent, under supreme authority, according to Act V. Henricus Noster in such cases made and provided, on the Rev. Mr. VINCENT, in consequence of the retirement of the Right Rev. ARTHUR STIRLING from the said office; the duties of which he so recently and so effectively performed between the hours of ten-thirty and eleven-fifteen every night for several months at the Theatre Royal Lyceum. We are in a position to add, that his resignation of this high and valuable office, has not taken place in consequence of any question as to the validity or invalidity of orders ("not admitted after 7·30"), nor has this step been rendered imperative by reason of any "irregularity" in "properties" or "appointments."
☞ NOTICE.—Rejected Communications or Contributions, whether MS., Printed Matter, Drawings, or Pictures of any description, will in no case be returned, not even when accompanied by a Stamped and Addressed Envelope, Cover, or Wrapper. To this rule there will be no exception.