Volume 102 — THE POLITICAL JOHNNY GILPIN.
Reading edition
(Lately-discovered Fragments of a Grand Old Ballad, the Sequel to which may—or may not—turn up later on.)
JOHN GILPIN was a patriot Of credit and renown; A Grand Old Leader eke was he, Of famous London town. JOHN's Liberal Lady said, "Oh, dear! Out in the cold we've been These seven tedious years, and have No chance of Office seen. "To-morrow is Election Day, And we may then repair Our Party-split a little bit,— That is—if you take care! "Our Sisters, and the Labour lot, Need soothing, you'll agree; If we can all together ride, I think we'll have a spree." He soon replied, "I do admire Of Liberal Dames but one, And you are she, my dearest dear; Therefore it shall be done! "I am a Programme-rider bold, As all the world doth know, And my good friend the Party 'Whip' Will teach me how to go." Quoth the good dame, "Liquor we'll want, The 'Union Tap' is queer; We'll furnished be with our own 'Blend,' Scotch-Irish bright and clear." JOHN GILPIN kissed his partner shrewd; O'erjoyed was he to find That, though on conquest she was bent, She had a prudent mind. JOHN GILPIN, at his horse's side, Seized fast the flowing mane, And up he got, in haste to ride, But soon came down again. For saddle-tree scarce reached had he, His journey to begin. When, turning round his head, he saw Queer customers come in. So down he came; for loss of time, Although it grieved him sore, Yet loss of Votes, full well he knew, Would trouble him much more. 'Twas long, ere these queer customers Were suited to their mind, When SCHNADDY, shouting, came down stairs, "The tipple's left behind!" "Good lack!" quoth he, "yet bring it me, My leathern belt likewise, In which I bear my trusty blade When foes I 'pulverise.'" His Liberal Lady (careful soul!) Had two big bottles found, To hold the liquor that she loved, And keep it safe and sound. Each bottle had a curling ear, Through which the belt he drew, And hung a bottle at each side, To keep his balance true. Then, over all, that he might be Equipped from top to toe, His long green cloak, well-brushed and neat, He manfully did throw. Now see him mounted once again Upon his docile steed, Full slowly pacing o'er the stones, With caution and good heed. It might have been a smoother road, Nor was it nice to meet First off, a Pig, who GILPIN bold With stubborn grunt did greet. So fair and softly! JOHNY cried, But—
[Here the fragment, so far as at present discovered, abruptly endeth.
TIP FROM OUR OWN BOOKING-OFFICE.—Persons about to go to the Country, whether to defend their own seat or attack someone else's, can't do better, my Baronite says, than take with them P.W. CLAYDEN's England Under Coalition, just published by FISHER UNWIN. It's not much to carry, but it's worth the trouble of packing up; also of unpacking, and reading. It tells the story of two Parliaments and three Governments. A pretty story it is, more interesting than most novels, and in one volume too. A marvel of condensation and lucid narrative. Only one thing lacking to a work likely to be constantly used for reference, and that is an index. "But you can't have everything," as Queen Eleanor said to Fair Rosamond when, having swallowed the contents of the poisoned chalice, she asked for a dagger.
THE POLITICAL JOHNNY GILPIN.
"NOW SEE HIM MOUNTED ONCE AGAIN UPON HIS NIMBLE STEED, FULL SLOWLY PACING O'ER THE STONES, WITH CAUTION AND GOOD HEED."
OBVIOUS.
Buttons (fresh from the Country, evidently no French Scholar). "I SAY, MARY, THE GUV'NOR AND MISSUS ARE DINING OUT TO-NIGHT. BUT I CAN'T FOR THE LIFE OF ME MAKE OUT WHAT A R, A S, A V, AND A P MEAN ON THIS 'ERE CARD!"
Smart Housemaid. "WHY, OF COURSE IT MEANS THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE RUMP STEAK AND VEAL PIE!"