Volume 100 — TO A COMPLIMENTARY COUNSEL.
Reading edition
["Here the Plaintiff met the Defendant, who formed a strong attachment for her, at which he (the learned Counsel), did not wonder."—Extract from a recent Report.]
The Plaintiff she was very fair— I'd very gladly make a verse on Her face, her smile, her eyes, her hair, Her comely and attractive person. Last year a gentleman had stormed Her heart and swore that nought should sunder The strong attachment he had formed, At which you said you "did not wonder!" Oh! tell me was it quite the thing, Of prudence shamelessly defiant, In such a pointed way to sing The praises of your pretty client. Had she been ugly—yes, or plain, Would you have reckoned it your duty To say how much it caused you pain To look and mark her lack of beauty? Perhaps you meant the words you said, 'Twould be amusing to discover If she had really turned your head, And in her lawyer found a lover. Yet even should this be the case, You cannot well escape supporting This statement—that it's not the place In open Court to go a-courting. When next a lady comes to say That He and She at last have parted, And that she'll make the villain pay For having left her broken-hearted, You'll recollect that in the Breach Of Promise Case, you must not blunder, But mention in your opening speech That at his love you do not wonder.
RECOGNITION OF MERIT.
The M Dougall, L.C.C.
(
to Cambridge Don
). "WELL DONE! THE SPINSTER TO THE SPINNING HOUSE! You ARE INDEED A PROCTOR AND A BROTHER!"