Volume 100 — THE RIVAL "JARVIES;"
Reading edition
OR, THE IRISH JAUNTING CAR.
AIR:—"The Low-backed Car."
"Honest John" sings:—
When first I knew CH-RL-S ST-RT, 'Twas in a happier day, The Jaunting Car he drove in Went gaily all the way. But now the Car seems all askew, Lop-wheel'd, and slack of spring; Myself and WILL, in fear of a spill, Feel little disposed to sing, As we sit on the Jaunting Car, The drivers at open war, Seem little to care For a Grand Old Fare, As they fight for the Jaunting Car. CH-RL-S ST-RT at one rein, Sir, And J-ST-N at the other. Give prospect small of progress In pummelling one another. As Honest JOHN my chance is gone Of helping ill-used PAT, If the Union of Hearts in Shindy starts, And the Message of Peace falls flat. WILL and I on the Jaunting Car, With the couple of Jarvies at war, Are sad to our souls, Wherefore win at the polls If we lose on the Jaunting Car? In battle's wild commotion, With proud and hostile SM-TH, O'er Land or Tithe, our hearts were blithe, Till P-RN-LL sapped our pith. But "Mr. Fox's" lethal darts Make "Union" all my eye; Our ranks they thin (whilst our enemies grin), As right and left they fly. Though we cling to the Jaunting Car, We were better out of it, by far; Not the G.O.M.'s art Can those Jarvies part Who fight for the Jaunting Car. I rather like this Car, Sir, With GL-DST-NE by my side; But row galore is an awful bore. When two would-be whips collide. With J-ST-N seated forninst us, To victory we might haste, But with squabbling bhoys, and a deuce of a noise, Our efforts are cut to waste. Though we're perched on the Jaunting Car, Our purpose these madmen mar, Whilst W-LL-M and I, With a tear and a sigh, Hold on to the Jaunting Car.
PAR ABOUT PICTURES.—Messrs. J. and W. VOKINS, Great Portland Street, have an interesting loan collection of some of the Old Giants of the English Water-colour School on view. There may be found TURNER, DE WINT, WILLIAM HUNT, HOLLAND, COPLEY FIELDING, STANFIELD, MULREADY, J.D. HARDING, besides many others. How good are the Old Giants, and their works are as bright and fresh as the day they were painted. Their reputations have not faded, neither have their pictures, and moreover, they are not likely to. And so say all of us! And so says, Yours paragonically, OLD PAR.
THE HUNDRED-AND-TEN-TONNER!
What is it, that, with labour skilled, Though taking full three years to build, The place of better weapons filled? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! What was it, though, that had to stoop, When fired, to putting on a hoop, Spite this, yet found its muzzle "droop"? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! And what, that matters made more hot, Such curious ammunition got, It cost £400 a shot? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! Yet, much to the tax-payer's bliss, What, firing such a sum as this. At eighteen hundred yards would miss? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! What is it, spite the First Lord's grace, That guns of better make and case At half the cost could well replace? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner! So, what no more upon the deep Should JOHN BULL floating useless keep, But quickly from his Navy sweep? The Hundred-and-Ten-Tonner!
PROPOSED TUNNEL BETWEEN ENGLAND AND IRELAND.—An Irishman observed this would bridge over a lot of difficulties; he begged pardon, he meant it would Leth-bridge them over.
THE RIVAL "JARVIES."
J. M-RL-Y. "DRIVE ON, McCARTHY!—IT'S
YOUR
JOB!"
HUNTING SKETCH.
THE LOST SHOE, OR LATE FOR THE MEAT.