Volume 98 — THE SOUTH-EASTERN ALPHABET.
Reading edition
A was the Anger evinced far and wide; B was the Boat-train delayed by the tide; C was the Chairman who found nothing wrong; D was the Driver who sang the same song; E was the Engine that stuck on the way; F stood for Folkestone, reached late every day; G was the Grumble to which this gave rise; H was the Hubbub Directors despise; I was the Ink over vain letters used; J were the Junctions which some one abused; K was the Kick "Protest" got for its crimes; L were the Letters it wrote to the Times; M was the Meeting that probed the affair; N was the Nothing that came of the scare; O was the Overdue train on its way; P was the Patience that bore the delay; Q was the Question which struck everyone; R the Reply which could satisfy none; S was the Station where passengers wait; T was the Time that they're bound to be late; U was the Up-train an hour overdue; V was the Vagueness its movements pursue; W stood for time's general Waste; X for Ex-press that could never make haste; Y for the Wherefore and Why of this wrong; And Z for the Zanies who stand it so long!
Startling for Gourmets.—"Bisques disallowed." But it only refers to a new rule of the Lawn Tennis Association; so "Bisque d'écrevisses" will still be preserved to us among the embarras de richesse—(i.e. the trouble caused subsequently by the richness,—free trans.)—of a thoroughgoing French dinner.
THE NEW TUNE.
Le Brav' Général tootles:—
Heroes bold owe much to bold songs. What's that? "Cannot sing the old songs"? Pooh! 'Tis a Britannic ditty. Truth, though, in it,—more's the pity! "En revenant de la Revue." People tire of that—too true! I must give them something new. Played out, Frenchmen? Pas de danger! Whilst you've still your Brav' Boulanger! Do they think Boulanger "mizzles," After all his recent "fizzles"? (Most expressive slang, the Yankee!) Pas si bête, my friends. No thank ye! Came a cropper? Very true! But I remount—my hobby's new, So's my trumpet. Rooey-too! France go softly? Pas de danger! Whilst she has her Brav' Boulanger! Cannot say her looks quite flatter. Rather scornful. What's the matter? Have you lost your recent fancy For me and my charger prancy? Turn those eyes this way, now do! Mark my hobby,—not a screw! Listen to my chanson new! Bismarck flout you? Pas de danger! He's afraid of Brav' Boulanger. Of your smile be not so chary! The sixteenth of February Probably will prove my care is The especial charge of Paris. Then you'll know that I am true. "En revenant de la Revue;" Stick to me, I'll stick to you. Part with you, sweet? Pas de danger! Not the game of Brav' Boulanger!