Volume 158 — PICTURES.
Reading edition
"Some likes picturs o' women" (said Bill) "an' some likes 'orses best," As he fitted a pair of fancy shackles on to his old sea-chest; "But I likes picturs o' ships" (said he), "an' you can keep the rest. "An' if I was a ruddy millionaire with dollars to burn that way, Instead of a dead-broke sailorman as never saves his pay, I'd go to some big paintin' guy, an' this is what I'd say:— "'Paint me The Cutty Sark' (I'd say) 'or the old Thermopylæ, Or The Star of Peace as I sailed in once in my young days at sea, Shipshape an' Blackwall fashion too, as a clipper ought to be. "'An' you might do 'er outward bound, with a sky full o' clouds, An' the tug just droppin' astern an' gulls flyin' in crowds, An' the decks shiny-wet with rain an' the wind shakin' the shrouds. "'Or else racin' up-Channel with a sou'-wester blowin', Stuns'ls set aloft and alow an' a hoist o' flags showin', An' a white bone between her teeth, so's you can see she's goin'. "'Or you might do 'er off Cape Stiff in the 'igh latitudes yonder, With her main-deck a smother of white an' her lee-rail dipping under, And the big greybeards drivin' by an' breakin' aboard like thunder. "'Or I'd like old Tuskar somewhere around—or Sydney 'eads, maybe, Or Bar Light, or the Tail o' the Bank, or a glimp o' Circular Quay, Or a junk or two, if she's tradin' East, to show it's the China Sea. "'Nor I don't want no dabs o' paint as you can't tell what they are, Whether they're shadders or fellers' faces or blocks or blobs o' tar, But I want gear as looks like gear an' a spar that's like a spar. "'An' I don't care if it's North or South, the Trades or the China Sea, Shortened down or everythin' set, close-hauled or runnin' free; You paint me a ship as is like a ship an' that'll do for me.'" C.F.S.
Old-fashioned Aunt. "Good heavens, child! You're not going out like that? You look like a chorus-girl."
Modern Maiden. "Oh, come, Aunt! I don't look as horribly respectable as that, surely?"
Egyptian Darkness.
"Several letters have appeared in the native Press in some of which they ask Minindirect way, as they have done, but in a indirect way they have done but in a clear clear manner which cannot be interpreted two ways."—Egyptian Gazette.
Or, so far as we are concerned, even one way.
ANOTHER "RESERVATION."
Starving Europe. "GOD HELP ME!"
America. "VERY SAD CASE. BUT I'M AFRAID SHE AIN'T TRYING."
["Relief would be found in the resumption of industrial life and activity and the imposition of adequate taxation. The American people should not be called upon to finance the requirements of Europe in so far as they result from failure to take these necessary steps."— Mr. Carter Glass, Secretary of the United States Treasury.]
THE BIG-GAME CURE.
[In common with everything else, wild animals have risen considerably in price.]
In other times I might have made For those wild lands where growls the grisly, Have tracked him (with some native aid) And held a broken-hearted Bisley; Now that my Maud has murmured, "Nay," Shrinking from matrimony's tight knot, I might have acted thus, I say (Contrariwise, I might not). In any case to-day I shrink From thus evading Sorrow's trammels; A sense of duty bids me think How costly are the larger mammals; To kill them just to soothe my mind Would seem to savour of the wasteful, A thing all patriot poets find Exceedingly distasteful. Not mine the immemorial cure; The voice of conscience warns me off it; I'll leave the following of the spoor To those who follow it for profit; I feel they would not thank me for Turning the jungle to a shambles, Who speculate in lions or Have elephantine gambles. And so this poet will not roam; Remaining on his native heath, he Will seek an anodyne at home, Nor look beyond the Thames for Lethe; And if he fades away, denied The usual balm in cardiac crises, Say only this of him, "He died A prey to soaring prices."
