THE EVANGELIST.
Reading edition
I have found favour in the sight of God; From all His servants He selected Me To take His gospel, "God and Germany," To Belgian heretics. Lo, I have trod Through Belgium terribly, and taught the pack; I put their ancient cities to the sack, I gave their men and women to the sword, I took their Belgian babes upon my knee And broke them to the glory of the Lord. It may be that one Belgian kennel stands, One Belgian dog, not trampled into dust, Still battles on beside these hosts of Hell Who think to question the Most High's commands— God will forgive me one, for He is just; The blood of many thousands lights my feet; Calmly I step before the Judgment Seat— "Have I done well, O Lord, have I done well?"
A. A. M.
A Fable.
A Suffolk Sportsman, wandering out with his Gun to get what he could, once brought down a Pigeon. It was a fine Bird, and he popped it in a Pie and made a hearty Meal of it. And then he began to feel most horribly ill in his Stomach. The Moral is that one should not eat German homers, for Evil Communications Corrupt Good Digestions.
"Who has not read the humorist W. W. Jacobs? who has not spent many an enjoyable hour over his books, such as 'Three Men in a boat'?"—Timaru Herald.
Obviously the writer of the above paragraph.
NOTHING DOING.
Imperial Dachshund. "HERE I'VE BEEN SITTING UP AND DOING TRICKS FOR THE BEST PART OF SEVEN WEEKS, AND YOU TAKE NO MORE NOTICE OF ME THAN IF——"
Uncle Sam. "CUT IT OUT!"
Territorial Sentry (by profession a telephone operator). "Are you there?"