Volume 147 — A ROYAL CRACKSMAN.
Reading edition
When the housebreaking business is slack And cracksmen are finding it slow— For all the seasiders are back And a great many more didn't go— Here's excellent news from the front And joy in Bill Sikes's brigade; Things are looking up since The German Crown Prince Has been giving a fillip to trade.
His methods are quite up to date, Displaying adroitness and dash; What he wants he collects in a crate, What he doesn't he's careful to smash. An historical château in France With Imperial ardour he loots, Annexing the best And erasing the rest With the heels of his soldierly boots.
Sikes reads the report with applause; It's quite an inspiring affair; But a sudden idea gives him pause— The Germans must stop over there! So he flutters a Union Jack To help to keep Englishmen steady, Remarking, "His nibs Mustn't crack English cribs, The profession is crowded already."
UNCONQUERABLE.
The Kaiser, "SO, YOU SEE—YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING."
The King of the Belgians, "NOT MY SOUL."
MORE HORRORS OF WAR.
Lady Midas (to friend). "Yes, do come to dinner on Friday. Only I must caution you that it will be an absolute picnic, for my fourth and sixth footmen have just enlisted."