Volume 147 — STRATEGIC DISEASE.
Reading edition
[Some of the German military authorities having explained that their retreat from Paris was due to the spread of cholera in that city, we may perhaps expect to have something like the following further "explanations" elsewhere.]
Our recent rather smart retreat From Warsaw need not cause disquiet; Our army met with no defeat Nor suffered from defective diet; We marched away because we knew Warsaw was reeking with the 'Flu. Our move from Calais was, of course, A great strategic retrogression, We were compelled, though not by force, To leave another in possession; But that's no ground for doleful dumps, Calais was chucked because of Mumps. Soon we shall see, though scarce as yet, Huns and howitzers hustled over Yon nauseous streak of heaving wet Which still divides our arms from Dover; And should "high failure" then occur Lay the whole blame on Mal-de-mer.
Le mot juste.
"Reports of military movements behind the Germans' front in Belgium are contradictory and too bragmentary to be worth much."—Western Mail.
"Mr. Churchill: Six, nine, twelve months hence you will begin to see results that will spell the domm of Germany."—Daily Mail.
We could spell it better than that in three months.
"The smallness of the members present was due in large measure to the war."—Edinburgh Evening Despatch.
The shortage of food, due to the German blockade, is at last making itself felt.—[Wireless from Berlin.]
THE HISTORY OF A PAIR OF MITTENS.
"Waal, it's this way. We Amurricans don't take no sides—we're ab-so-lootly nootral. We don' give a row o' beans which of you knocks the Kaiser out."