OUR BOOKING-OFFICE.
Reading edition
The Baron is not aware whether the volume before him, Japhet in Search of a Father, is the first of Captain Marryat's works re-issued by Macmillan; but the Baron, speaking on behalf of Mr. Punch, is indeed delighted to welcome a very old friend, and hopes to see many more of Captain Marryat's able and amusing crew. "If the gallant Captain, R.N., with his true British sailors, cannot command a sale, who can?" asks the Baron, and pauses not for a reply. It is to be hoped that Midshipman Easy is still on board. The Baron anticipates great pleasure from renewing the acquaintance of that gay sea puppy. Quite a Happy Thought,—"Why not republish Marryat? We will." So all hands to the re-issue, and success to it, quoth the nautical
Baron de Book-Worms.
Good Omen.—One of the Directors of a New Water Company is Sir Spencer Wells. Everyone well knows the genuine value of the Sparkling Wells. Will the worthy Bart., as the Mädchens do at the Elisa Fountain, serve out "the Harefield" (not Hare-aërated) "and Springwell" waters at a much-frequented bar, and be thenceforth known as Sir Dis-pensary Wells? We wish them all success. "Water, water, everywhere, and plenty fit to drink!"
TO MRS. KEELEY.
["Some time ago Her Majesty inquired after Mrs. Keeley, and was informed that she was well and in her ninetieth year. The Queen expressed a wish to see her, and Colonel Collins arranged for Mrs. Keeley to have the honour of being received at Buckingham Palace yesterday afternoon, when she was presented to Her Majesty. The welcome given to the gifted lady, who so wonderfully preserves her health, intelligence, and vivacity, was most graceful and cordial; and the Queen was pleased to recall to mind several interesting incidents of the past."—Daily Telegraph, Thursday, March 7.]
Oh, when I was a little Eton boy, With a heigho! I need not explain, "The Keeleys" were a wondrous joy, For they were so droll in every play. But now I am at mid estate, With a heigho! I need not explain, Here's Mrs. Keeley tête-à-tête With our Gracious Queen Vic-to-ri-a. No Betsy Baker ere like you! With a smile, smirk, I need not explain! That rascal, gay Jack Sheppard, too, With a "Nix, my dolly! fake away!" I've seen you dance and heard you sing With a sly eye, I need not explain, How well you acted everything In whatever part you chose to play! That you're about and well we know, With a Hooray! a cheer once again! And may you long continue so, Till the curtain falls and ends the play.
"Heard in Court."
Counsel. Now tell me, while you were standing as you say just in front of the defendant, did anything remarkable strike you?
Pat. It did, Sorr.
Counsel. And what was that?
Pat. His fist.
THE LAY OF THE BIMETALLIST.
I. Who is Silver?—what is she, That all our swells commend her? Very tough and bright is she;— The heavens such grace did lend her, That adopted she might be— That adopted she might be! II. Is she constant as she's fair? Or is she light and heady? Gold might to her arms repair To help him to keep steady; And, being helped, inhabit there— And, being helped, inhabit there. III. Then, if Silver plays mad tricks, Or Gold is always changing, So that none their price can fix, From par to premium ranging— Let us both together mix!— Let us both together mix!
Fitting Finish.—The Portuguese financial agent wrote last week to the Times to contradict the report as to a "further issue" by his Government of "tobacco bonds." So this ends in smoke.
A Blue "Tip" for the University Race.—With Game rowing and Hope in the bow, the Cambridge Eight this year ought to make a close race of it.
IMPROVEMENTS IN THE HOUSE OF COMMONS.
A SOLUTION OF THE HAT DIFFICULTY.
Why not keep on the Premises portable Replicas of all Members, carefully modelled in wax, with appropriately padded Figures, which can occupy their places during any temporary absence. When in situ the difference is scarcely perceptible.
"ANIMAL SPIRITS."
No. VII.—While Frozen Out. A recent Sketch at the Zoo.