Part 2 — LETTERS FOR THE SILLY SEASON.
Reading edition
(Apparently intended for some of our Contemporaries.)
Sir,—Of course I do not wish to be frivolous, but do you not think that "lovely," "too sweet," "quite too darling," and other expressions in italics are miss-used words? At any rate, they are constantly in the mouths of my daughters and nieces.
Yours truly, Paterfamilias.
Sir,—I give a list of misused words that have occurred to me during a month on the Continent. I put the words I consider inappropriately applied in italics. Paris is inexpensive, Boulogne is beautiful, Cologne is inodorous, German cookery is good, 'Arry on his travels is pleasant, garlic is agreeable, hotel charges in Italy are moderate, railway travelling in Belgium is expeditious, washing-basins in Swiss hotels are large, a rough passage across the Channel is delightful, and the Continent is like home.
I could extend the list indefinitely, but have written enough to show how imperfect the English language really is to convey accurately one's most ordinary ideas. I may add that when I have used and not misused words, I have been told that I have no right to swear—so what can I do?
Yours truly, Common Sense.
Sir,—I am glad to see that there is a correspondence upon misused words. However, I can say that such words as "excellent," "admirable," "wonderful," "splendid," and "glorious," are not misused when applied to ——.* Thanking you in advance,
I remain, yours truly, Puff Puff.
* Editorially suppressed. Applications for insertion of advertisements should be addressed to another quarter.
AN OLD DOGGEREL COUPLET RE-DRESSED.
[M. Zola is understood to have accepted an invitation to the Institute of Journalists' Conference in London.]
Fairer subject never rose our graphic pens to task all, Than the presence (and paper) amidst the Children of Letters, the new Grub Street geniuses, the Poets and Press-men and penny- a-liners, the Sages and "all the rages," the Naturalistic Novelists and New Humourists, the literary "Strong Men" and Anti- Sentimentalists, the Impressionists and Symbolists, and Stylists, and Superior Sniffers, and "Manly" Muse-hunters, and Man- despising Mugwumps, and Minor Minstrels and Minor-Minstrel- flouters, and would-be Laureates, and would-be-laureate-exter- minators, and Mummer-Idolators and Mummer-Iconoclasts, and Up-to-date Oracles, and Fin-de-siècle obscurantists, of the pyramidal author of Dr. Pascal!
Motto of our Military Authorities.—"Put up your Dukes!"