CHRISTMAS HAMPERS.
Reading edition
For the Czar.—Alliances—French and Triple.
For the Kaiser.—"The Great Revenge."
For the King of Italy.—The Military Estimates.
For the King of Greece.—The Adjustment of the National Revenue.
For the President of the French Republic.—The Legacy of Carnot the First.
For the President of the United States.—Protected Free Trade.
For the Sultan.—The Khedive.
For the Khedive.—The Sultan.
For the Premier.—His followers.
For the Foreign Secretary.—His colleagues.
For the Chancellor of the Exchequer.—The coming Budget.
For the Home Secretary.—Trafalgar Square.
For the Colonial Secretary.—South Africa.
For the Postmaster-General.—Cards for Christmas and the New Year.
For the War Office.—The Admiralty.
For the Admiralty.—The War Office.
For the Theatre-Managers.—The Clerk of the Weather.
For the Music-Hall Proprietors.—The London County Council.
For the London Public.—The Paving Contractors.
For the Bar.—The Solicitors.
For the Solicitors.—Reluctant Litigants.
For the Stockbrokers.—The State of the City.
For the Poor.—The Condition of the Money Market.
And for the World in general and Britons in particular.—The Influenza.
THE KISS THAT COSTS.
[A fair plaintiff, who brought a breach of promise action worth under ordinary circumstances at least £1000, had to be content with £100 because she had in the meantime been kissed by a new suitor.]
The gorse is out in kissing time, And that is always—so the saw. But know from henceforth (and this rhyme) This does not follow in the Law. For she, who, jilted by her swain, Brings him to Court, and braves the laughter, Must—if she longs for gold—refrain From kissing Number Two—till after!
A Little Girl's Christmas Story.
Polly! Folly!
Holly! (Gobbles!)
Jolly! Colly
Dolly! (Wobbles!)
OUR BARTERERS.—Sideboard.—I have a magnificent-looking article, made of unseasoned deal, coloured to resemble walnut. As great care has been taken to imitate a really first-class piece of furniture by a good maker, it is hoped that the fact that the wood is certain to split and warp, that the drawers jam, that the keyholes are dummies, and that the whole is a piece of cunning shoddy, will escape the attention of the average purchasing idiot. What offers?
To Pickwickian Students.—Of what class of persons is it recorded in Pickwick that "their looks are not prepossessing and their manners are peculiar"?
THE CRY OF THE CIVIC TURTLE.
'Twas the voice of the Turtle, I heard him complain, "You would wake me! Be off!! Let me slumber again! Your 'Royal Commission on Unification' Be ——!" something that seemed to convey commination. "I shan't 'tender evidence'—hang it, not I!— Why I, as a separate body, should die! I've power, prosperity, plumpness, and pelf; If you want an 'Amalgam'—why, mix it yourself!"
Feminine Saturnalia.
[Miss Klumpke has just achieved a great triumph with a learned treatise on the Rings of Saturn.]
Oh! maiden, learned, wise, you can To froward woman prove a pattern, You pay your due respect to Man By writing up the Rings—of Saturn!
New Prandial Proverbs.—What's underdone can't be helped. A bird in a pie is worth two in a dish. Apollinaris (or any other) water in time saves wine. The early guest gets it hot. It is never too late to dine.
A TRUTH IN SEASON.—What would Christmas be without the Cracker? Messrs. G. Sparagnapane have their reply ready with their "Cracker Skirt-Dancer" and their "May Blossom" (so nice in December), which is a pleasant souvenir of The Wedding. Of course, all these crackers will "go off" well!
Adapted,64
Ad Fratrem,3
Adventures of Picklock Holes (The),69, 76, 85, 100, 168, 213, 289, 301
Advertiser's Appeal,270
Afternoon Party (An),13
"After the Ball" in Paris,297
After the Call,243
Alexander and Diogenes,162
Anacreontics for All,273
Angels,186
Another Scene at the Play,64
Argentina,226
Arriet on Labour,88
"Art of 'Savoy Fare'" (The),204
At Covent Garden last Thursday,37
At the Sea-Side Church Parade,73
At the Shaftesbury,123
At the World's Water-Show,40
Australian A B C (An),57
Australia the (without) Golden,94
Babes on the Treasury Bench (The),255
Balfour's Boon,101
Ballad (A),262
"Ballade Joyeuse,"106
Ballade of Earlscourt,57
Ballade of Lost Repartees,142
Ballad of Departed Pippins (The),41
Ball versus Ball,297
Bank Holiday Beauty,292
Behemoth and the Lion,182
Belfry of Bruges Overlooked (The),274
Bicycle built for Two (A),258
Birds of Pray,219
Bishop Bobadil,166
Bitter Cry of the Broken-Voiced Chorister,37
Black Shadow (The),210
Blue Belles of Scotland (The),298
Bobo,178
Bogus Manager's Vade Mecum (The),237
"Book that Failed" (The),123
Brick-à-Brac,195
Bright and Beautiful Working Man,192
British Athletes Vade Mecum (The),82
Brown Study in Autumn Tints (A),109
Burden of Burdon Sanderson,142
Business,246
"But that's another Story,"225
Cabman's Guide to Politeness,209, 225
Carr-Actors at "The Comedy,"185
Cause and Effect,245
Central Hall of the Law Courts (The),217
Champion Shaver (The),282
Chance for the Briefless (A),274
Change of Partners (A),279
Christmas Hampers,310
City Horse (The),190
Closure at Home (The),61
Coal and Wood,257
Cockney on a Great Collection (A),252
Connected with the Press,77
Conversation-Book for Candidates,258
Conversion à la Mode,121
Cophetua, L.C.C.,113
County Council's Progressive Programme (The),300
Cream of the Cream,219
Cricket across the Channel,61
Cricket Congratulations,70
Croquet,87
Crowning the Edifice,153
Cry of the Civic Turtle (The),310
Cure-ious!99
Daly Dream (A),180
Damon out of Date,205
Dance till Dawn,16
Danger!85
Dark Continent in Two Lights (The),226
Decayed Industry (A),82
Deptford hath its Darling,273
"Devil's Advocate" (The),51
Diary à la Russe (A),193
Directors' Vade Mecum (The),49
Distorted Mercy,309
Ditty of the Dog-Days (A),17
Diver (The),98
Double Entente,228
Drama College,192
Dr. Dulcamara Up to Date,218
Dream-Book for Would-be Travellers,65
Ducal Doings,292
"Due South,"137, 145, 157, 169
Effeminacy of the Age,97
1893; or, the Government Guillotine,2
Englishman in Paris (The),77
Essence of Parliament,11, 22, 34, 46, 58, 70, 82, 94, 106, 118, 130, 142, 154, 226, 238, 250, 262, 274, 286, 298, 302
European Crisis Averted!273
Examination Paper for Ladies,45
Expostulation (An),216
Fabius Fin-de-Siècle,225
Fallen Art (A),25
"Fantastic" Action (A),192
Farewell!190
Fashionable Intelligence,51
Father William,18
Feminine Triumph (A),277
"Flibbertigibbet,"261
Fool with a Gun (The),159
"Forlorn Hope" (The),150
Fragments from a Franco-Russian Phrase-Book,197
French Flag (The),228
French Wolf and the Siamese Lamb (The),54
From Colchester,111
From Grave to Gay,89
From Our Island Special,58
From Professor Muddle,34
Future of Home Rule (The),245
Game of Chance (A),285
Gingham-Grabber (The),237
Going to the Country,120
Golden Memories,141
Good Luck to it!253
"Good Sir John!",166
Great African Lion-Tamer (The),230
Handy Boy (The),246
"Hark! I hear the Sound of Coaches!",255
Haunted!101
Health-Seeker's Vade Mecum (The),1
Height of Comfort (The),241
"Here's to the Client,"63
Her Sailor Hat,101
Highland "Caddie,"122
Highly Probable,282
"History (nearly) repeats itself,"261
History Repeats Itself,154
Home Rails,243
How to Write a Cheap Christmas Number,265
"Hymen Hymenæe!"6
Ideal Conversation (The),159
Ideal Drama (The),202
In Black and White,225
Inquiry (An),233
Intelligence à l'Americaine,10
John Bull's Naval Vade Mecum,118
John Tyndall,277
Jolly Young Watermaids (The),156
Just Cause,25
Kiss that Costs (The),310
Latest Autumn Fashion (The),228
Latest Crisis (The),61
Latest Parisian Romance (The),33
Law and Justice v. Duty "done,"286
Lawyer's Chortle (A),205
Lay of the "Ancient" (The),101
Lays of Modern Home,33
Lesson for Labour (A),138
Letter Home (A),183
Letters for the Silly Season,111
Letters to Abstractions,97
Life (and Death) in South America,158
Lines on (and off) an Italian Mule,141
Little Bill-ee,114
Little Master Minority,198
Little Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe,86
Lobengula's Letter-Bag,257
London Pest (A),25
London School-Board Vade Mecum (The),165
Lord Chancellor's Song (The),289
Lost Smell (The),274
Love and Law,142
Love's Labour's Lost,86
"L'Union fait la—Farce!",186
Magic and Manufactures,245
Making them Useful,90
Man in the South (The),129
Man Makes the Tailor (The),53
March in November,234
"Masterly Inactivity,"174
Mature Charms,261
May and December,305
Meeting of the Anti-Biographers,105
Message from the Sea (A),294
Misnomer,228
Misty Crystal (A),214
Moan of a Theatre-Manager (The),41
Moan of the Minor Poet (The),42
Modern Medusa (The),270
Modern Nymph's Reply to the Passionate Shepherd (The),16
Mot by a Member,222
Mr. Punch's Appeal—to Coal-Owners, Miners, and all whom it may Concern,170
Mrs. Nickleby in the Chair,30
Murch Praised,277
Muscular Education,37
Music and Law,293
Music for the Multitude,49
"My Cummerbund,"153
My Gardeneress,93
My Landlord,193
My Pretty June, at a Later Season,189
Mystified,216
My Tenant,193
Name! Name!226
Names for Other Names,174
Nautical Economy,285
N.B.!214
New King Coal,74
New King Coal Corrected,118
New Lights for Old,273
New Version,273
New Year's Eve at Latterday Hall,304
Ninth of November (The),238
Noble Organ-grinder (The),217
No Raison d'être!216
Not a Fair Exchange,177
Note by our own Philosopher,207
Novel Show (A),121
"Oberland" Route (The),221
Ode de Knill—and Co.,25
Ode of Odours (An),292
Old "Adelphi Triumph" (An),117
Old and New School for Scandal,249
Old Man's Musings (An),10
One of the Maxims of Civilisation,261
"One-Horse" Householder,89
1,000,000 A.D.,250
Only Fancy!93
Operatic Notes,5, 17
Ornithological Outburst (An),257
Orator "Pour Rire" (An),21
Our Barterers,294, 310
Our Booking-Office,9, 52, 154, 198, 209, 237, 249, 253, 265, 285, 293, 305
Our Opera,25
"Over the Hills and Far Away!",126
"Painless Dentistry,"133
Palinode,258
"Paper of the Day after To-morrow" (The),229
"Pas Même Académecien!"162
"Pictures from 'Punch,'"177
"Piece and War!" at Drury Lane,149
Playing the Deuce at the Haymarket,161
"Play is not the Thing" (The),22
Plea for Pleading's (A),277
Poison in the Pump,281
Police Phrase-Book (The),16
Politics in South America,125
Popular Songs re-sung,73, 241
Precept and Practice,213
Preparing for Christmas,226
Prince Alexander of Battenberg,253
Profession of Journalism (The),222
Prophetic Diary of the L. C. C.,16
Proprietors' Vade Mecum (The),46
Punch's "God-Speed" to the Pole Seekers,22
Q. E. D.,238
Queer Cards,246
Queer English,34
Queer Queries,36, 37, 135, 240
Question of Tint (A),217
"Quiet Pipe" (A),122
Quoth Dunraven, Nevermore!192
Rather Familiar!255
"Ready, Aye Ready!",110
Reign of Ringlets (The),158
Repartees for the Railway,202
"Resh'prosh'ty,"222
Rex Lobengula,243
Rhodes to ——?225
Riflemen—"Form!"165
Rippin',171
Robert at Gildhall,75
Robert at the Manshun House,17
Robert on the Coming Sho,221
Robert's Puzzel,261
Rosebery to the Rescue!15
"Rule, Britannia!",234
Rule of the Sea (The),57
Rules of the Rude (The),177
"Sail! a Sail!" (A),78
Saint Izaak and his Votaries,62
Schopenhauer Ballads (The),57, 77
Seasonable,37, 234
Seasonable Reflection,297
Seasonable Sayings,298
Seasonable Sonnet,277
Seasonable Vade Mecum (A),305
Seeing the Royal Wedding Presents,28
Self-Help,205
Sax Scotch Pipers (The),195
Shakspeare in London,264
Shooting the Chutes,73
"Single-Handed Run" (A),267
Sir Aquarius to the Rescue!146
Skinners and Skinned,5
"Social Test-Words,"121
Song of the Autumn Session (The),217
Song of the Session (The),3
Song of the Shopkeeper (The),29
Sonnet,111
Spirit of Christmas Present (The),306
Star-Gazing,183
Still Wilder Ideas,94
Stormy Petrel (The),66
Stout Singer's Smile (The),286
Striker's Vade Mecum (The),121
Strike-ing Suggestion (A),228
Study in Brown (A),309
Study in Press-Land (A),149
Sub Judice,3
Surgeon-Major Parke,138
Sympathy,42
Tale of the Alhambra (A),9
Tea and Twaddle,106
"Tears, idle Tears!",264
Testimonial Manqué (A),4
Then and Now,157
Three Georges (The),3
Three Jovial Huntsmen (The),134
Three Tartars (The),141
Three V's (The),210
Through the Lock,42
To a Droshky-Driver,41
To a Fine Woman,66
To a Lady,253
To a Lost Friend,201
To a Parisienne,53
To a Swiss Barometer,64
To a Young Friend, aged Seven,189
To Bobby,297
To Doctor Falbe,141
To "Hans Breitmann,"192
To Hebe,229
To Marjorie,273
Too Kind by Half,39
To the French Oarsmen,5
To the Sea,229
Tour that never was (The),75
Triolet,269
Trip-lets,277
True French Politeness,114
Trumps for Tramps,87
Trying her Strength,102
Turkish Occupation; or, Visions in Smoke (A),26
Turpin and Trains,147
Timon on Bimetallism,65
"'Twas in Trafalgar"'s Theatre,293
Two Pots, The,75
Two Views of Victory,233
Tyranny of the Unsuitable (The),269
Ulsterical Impromptu (An),228
Under the Rose,112, 124, 136, 148, 160, 172, 184, 196, 208, 220, 232, 244, 256, 268, 280
Under the Roose,1
Union is (Logical) Weakness,221
University Intelligence,277
Upon Julia's Mother,190
"Usual Channel," (The),90
"Variety! Va-ri-e-ty!",279
Vision of Royalty (A),27
Visit to Borderland (A),52
"Voces Stellarum,"48
Voice of the Thames (The),45
Volunteers' Vade Mecum (The),29
Walk in Devon (A),202, 214
Walking Englishwoman on the Alps,77
War in South America (The),181
Way they have in the City (A),53
"Way they have in the Navy" (The),41
Wear and Tear in Africa,9
Weather Wisdom,269
Were-Wolf (The),290
Westminster Play (The),293
What's in a Name?33
When the "Cat"'s Away,206
Who is it?93
Why Elinor is ever Young,57
Windy Corner at Brighton (A),297
"Wonder-Kid" (A),269
Woodman, spare those Trees!166
Words! Words! Words!102
Word to the Wise Wheelman (A),219
Yorkshire Victor,113
You never Wrote,231
LARGE ENGRAVINGS.
Alexander and Diogenes,163
"Bicycle built for Two" (A),259
Black Shadow (The),211
"Champion Shaver" (The),283
"Father William,"19
"Forlorn Hope" (The),151
French Wolf and the Siamese Lamb (The),55
Handy Boy (The),247
"Hymen Hymenæe!"7
Lesson for "Labour" (A),139
Little Bill-ee!115
Little Master Minority,199
"L'Union fait la—Farce!"187
"Masterly Inactivity,"175
"Message from the Sea" (A),295
Modern Medusa (The),271
Mrs. Nickleby in the Chair,31
"Over the Hills and Far Away!"127
Poor Victim (The),91
"Resh'prosh'ty,"223
"Rule, Britannia!"235
"Sail! a Sail!" (A),79
Spirit of Christmas Present (The),307
Stormy Petrel (The),67
"Through the Lock,"43
Trying her Strength,103
SMALL ENGRAVINGS.
Agatha and the Wall-paper,106
"Angels in the House,"47
Apple Woman on Lady Salisbury,171
'Arry and Foreign Traveller,12
Authority on the "Buffer State" (An),64
Bachelor's Reason for Dancing,29
Baked-Potato Man on the Sands,166
Balfour and Treasury Babes,254
Bather trying to regain his Tent,109
Beater and the Serdlitz Pooder,257
Bertie "catches a Crab,"51
British Lion and Matabele Behemoth (The),182
Brown getting out of Stream,310
Brown helping himself to everything,138
Brown's Corporation and its Cause,22
Bulky Bride leaving her Parents,270
Cabby and Clergyman,168
Canon's Introduction to a Lady,210
Chiffonniers on Hampstead Heath,114
Cleveland's Dance with Free Trade,278
"Committee Stage of the Home-Rule Bill,"59
Complimenting an After-dinner Speaker,286
Conjugal Trouble about Christmas Present,190
Conscientious Hairdresser (A),34
Corpulent Sportsman's Symptoms,113
Counsel and Facetious Witness,233
County Councillor and Acoustics,298
Critic's Two Reviews (A),277
"Daily Graphic" Weather Lady,153
"Devil's Advocate" (The),50
Dining with the Odds and Ends,165
Divorce stands Lunch to Bankruptcy,297
Doctor Dulcamara and Mr. Punch,218
Doomed Bill (The),119
"Ears off in Front!"121
Electric Light in an Old House,302
Eton Boy and Pater's dear Luncheon,66
Excited Orchestral Conductor,285
Farmer Trencherman and the Curate,169
Father Thames Purified,95
Festive Babies,282
Football Match (A),299
Forgotten his Dress Coat,25
Friends in Editor's Sanctum,58
Gamekeeper and Captain's Language,70
Gate-Boy and Hunting Lady,207
German Teacher of English (A),28
Giant Beetle (The),201
Gladstone's "Long Break,"287
Gladstone the Diver,98
Going to Cairo for Cheapness,281
Golf Meeting (A),191
Government Guillotine (The),2
"Happy Family" in Fret-Work (The),71
Harrow Scholar in Good Form,238
Hawkins and Merton at a Restaurant,178
Highland Corporal and Photographer,86
His Ancestor's Portrait,195
His Sister's Match-Maker,82
Holiday Dress in the House,83
Hostess of "Present-Day" Age,63
Housekeeper and Servants' Sweepstakes,229
Housemaid's Translation of "Salve,"222
House of Apollo-ticians (A),143
"House Party" at Christmas,303
Icicle made for Two (An),197
Improbable Free Fight in the Lords,131
Indisposed Yachtsman's Resolutions,65
Influenzial House of Commons,275
Inspecting General and Yeoman,15
Irish Curate and the Doctor,75
Izaak Walton and his Votaries,62
"Joey" (Chamberlain) and the Hot Poker,242
Jones's Delicious Drink,253
Jones's visit to Prigglesby Manor,90
Laconic 'Bus-Driver (A),27
Lady Hypatia and the World at Large,258
Lady's Story after the Garden Party,16
Lady Vera flattering an Author,274
Lika Joko's Hunting Scene,263
Little Boy and the Martial Cloak,117
Little Old Woman and her Shoe,86
Local Hatter and Baronet,94
Local Mammoth's Neighbours (The),292
Looking at the Knight's Tomb,150
Lower Creation (The),105, 111
Mamma's Vaccination Sleeves,3
Marian not a fit Servant's Name,202
Master Bull's Sinking Ships,110
Master Jack out for Early Hunting,154
Mr. Punch and Coal-Owner and Miner,170
Mr. Punch at Edinburgh,179
Mr. Sinnick's Love for Babies,246
Mrs. Prickles and "Coals of Fire,"225
Mrs. Ramsbotham and the Graces,162
Musicians in the Stalls,159
My Lady and Housemaid's Character,54
Naughty Boy and his Governess,186
Nervous Hunting Man and Lady Rider,262
New King Coal,74
News from the Law Courts,237
Not an Ornamental Bishop,306
Old Adonis and his Bust,99
Old Gent and Galloping Coach-Team,81
Old Huntsman's Law Reading,291
Old Keeper and Red-haired Fisher,11
"Out for an Otter-Day!"189
"Out! Her First Ball!"1
Painter and his Hostess,78
Papa putting on Mamma's Hair,198
Parliamentary Bear-Garden (A),35
Parliamentary Football Match,266
Parliament by Proxy,227
People who don't dine out on Sunday,130
Pheasant Shooting,203
Philanthropist and Small Boy's Parcel,226
Piping Satyr (A),122
Podgers and his Host's Shoes,147
Police Protection for Pianists,217
Portrait of Mr. Mince-Pie,301
Priceless Piece of English Coal (A),192
Railway Traveller and Dog,177
Rhodes, the Lion-Tamer,230
Ringlets again the Fashion,158
Rivals and the Fair Siamese,38
Rosebery to the Rescue!14
Scenes in the City,239
Scotch Counsel and Old Lady,118
Scotchman and the Rector,45
Scottish Political Pipers,194
Sea-side after Visitors are gone,135
Seedy Swell's Watch (A),5
Shadows on the Underground Railway,181
Shaftesbury Fountain (The),181
Shy Couple conversing on the Strike,234
Singing Captain and Ladies,102
Sir Aquarius and the Water-Snake,146
Sir Harry on his Rhinoceros,216
Sir Pompey and the French Baron,46
Sir Pompey's Acts of Charity,30
Sleeping Cat o' Nine Tails,206
Small Boy's Dilemma about Hunting,267
Smart Set at a Party (A),6
Snobley and the Sand Ponies,123
Spelling "Soda-water" with a Syphon,141
Sporting Farmer and 'Arry at the Hunt,231
Sportsman who has made a Mare,243
Spreading Himself Out,305
Squire and his Steward (A),245
Stag-Hunting,215
Stout Lady wanting Wings,174
Sultan and Khedive Smoking,26
Tailor's Lobengulous Customer,250
Telephoning Twins (The),255
Three Ministerial Huntsmen (The),134
Tiger and Bear at the Club,173
Tipsy Gent and Baker's Boy,53
Tipsy Undergraduate and the Major,214
Tommy's Ultimatum to his Nurse,18
Tourist Season (The),107
Tourist who didn't Shoot Anybody,219
Trafalgar Square of the Future,251
Two Golfers,145
Two Ladies and the Piano,42
Two Swells in the Rain,193
Two Unknown Painters,61
Very Nice to Departing Guests,294
Vicar's Cook and a Saved Sole,142
Wandering Minstrel and Sea-side Beauties,126
Wanting a Table d'Oat Dinner,205
Week of the Year (The),23
Were-Wolf of Anarchy (The),290
Who would be an M.P.?155
Who would not be an M.P.?167
Young Lady Making "Dinner Eyes,"39
Young Lady's Jacket Puzzle,237
Young Muddleigh's Lady Love,279
Young Sportsman and the Bad Shot,125
Young Wife and Horse's Weight,183
Youthful Reprobate and the World,265
Youth who comes Home late (A),49
LONDON; BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., LIMITED, WHITEFRIARS.
Transcriber's Note: Page 306: "SANDSTONE" corrected to "SADSTONE", to fit context of article. "... to shed its lurid light on Sadstone, as he came peeping round the door."