"THE HAPPY FAMILY."

(By Our Artist in Fret-Work.)

At length Prince Arthur interposed; gently, but firmly, drew the coy Fisher to the front. His apology followed by one from the lingering Logan. Scene ended amid mutual tears.

"Yes, it's all very well," said Fisher, wringing his pocket-handkerchief and glaring angrily at Mr. G. "But, after all, the real criminal has escaped, and logic, as applicable to events of daily life, has received a staggering blow."

Business done.—Acland explained English Education Estimates in speech admirable alike in matter and manner.

Another Injustice to Ireland.

Tuesday.—Some men are born to trouble as the sparks fly upwards. Of these is William O'Brien. It would seem that fate had expended its malignity when Prince Arthur deprived him of his breeches. Now Joseph has appropriated his dinner-table. The lynx eye of Bartley detected the irregularity which disclosed existence of this fresh outrage. Bartley favourably known in House as guardian of its honour and dignity. From time to time spirit moves him suddenly to rise and point fat forefinger at astonished Mr. G., whom he has discovered in some fresh design upon stability of the Empire or symmetry of the Constitution. At stated hours, formerly on Thursdays ten o'clock now generally on stroke of midnight, he is seen and heard shouting "Gag! gag!"

"Odd," says Member for Sark, "how phrases change in similar circumstances though at different epochs. When Closure first invented, put in motion by dear Old Morality, and supported by Bartley, Hanbury, Jimmy Lowther, and the rest, it used to be spoken resentfully of as 'pouncing.' Now it is 'gagging.' But it is precisely the same, inasmuch as the minority of the day, against whom it is enforced, denounce it as iniquitous, whilst the majority, who took that view when they were on other side of House, now regard it as indispensable to conduct of public business. Bartley having lived through both epochs is useful illustration of this tendency. When Old Morality pounced on Irish members his lusty shout of approval used to echo through House with only less volume than now his roar of anguish goes up to glass roof when Old Morality's original thumbscrews are fitted on him and his friends. A quaint, mad world, my Toby."

To-night Bartley not so well-informed on subject as usual. Thought it was John Dillon, who, acting the part of Amphitryon, piloted his guests within preserves of members' private dining-room. Turned out it wasn't Dillon at all, but William O'Brien, who in most tragic manner tells how, having secured in advance a table for his guests, found when the dinner-hour struck Joseph and his Brethren seated thereat, merrily profiting by his forethought. Straightway O'Brien led his guests to the table in members' room which Unionist Leaders have marked for their own. This he appropriated, and there, regardless of surprised looks from ex-ministers at adjoining table, he truculently dined.

"Well, at any rate," said Tim Healy, that Man of Peace, "I'm glad it wasn't mere English or Orangemen who were thus treated. If Joseph had appropriated Saunderson's table, the Colonel would have taken him in his arms, dropped him outside on the Terrace, and, returning to his seat, ordered a fresh plate of soup." Business done.—Bartley adds fresh dignity to Parliamentary debate.

Thursday.—Was it this day week the House was in volcanic upheaval, with Hayes Fisher—or was it Mr. Gladstone?—clutching Logan by the back of the neck, a mad mob mauling each other round the white waistcoat of Edward of Armagh? According to the almanack this is so; according to appearances an eternity and a hemisphere divide the two scenes.

In Committee on Vote on Account; average attendance from twenty to thirty. Orders bristle with amendments; papers read in support of them; occasionally a Member follows with observations on topic suggested; sometimes he doesn't; then next gentleman who has prepared paper takes the floor; the audience turns over; goes to sleep again; wakened by Chairman putting question "that Amendment be withdrawn." Isn't even vigour sufficient to induce a division.

Only person free from somnolent influence of hour is Mr. G. Has nothing to do in this galley; looks on wistfully whilst Lowther (not Jimmy) talks about Vitu and the Pamirs; Jimmy (lui même) is sarcastic on subject of Board of Trade engaging in experiments in journalism; and Dicky Temple wants to know all about reported modifications in constitution of St. Paul's School by the Charity Commissioners. Mr. G. liked to have offered few remarks on one or all these subjects. Tommy Bowles nearly succeeded in drawing him. Dropping lightly out of Siam, viâ Morocco, upon question of Collisions at Sea, Tommy brought Mundella into full focus and fairly floored him with a problem.

"Suppose," he said, "the right hon. gentleman were at sea, and the whole fleet bore down upon him on the weather bow. What would he do?"

Reading the G. O. M. to sleep.

Mundella nonplussed. Mr. G. knew all about it; would have answered right off and probably silenced even Tommy with proposition of counter manœuvre. But Marjoribanks kept relentless eye on him. Vote on Account must be got through Committee to-night. The less speaking the better; so with profound sigh Mr. G. resisted the temptation and composed himself to listen to Leng's paper on the prohibition of importation of live cattle from Canada. Here was opportunity of learning something which Mr. G. gratefully welcomed. Gradually, as the new knight went on reading extract after extract in level voice, remorselessly deliberate, Mr. G.'s eyes closed, his head drooped, and in full view of the crowded Strangers' Gallery he fell into peaceful, childlike slumber.

Business done.—Vote on Account passed Committee.

Friday.—Morning sitting devoted to miscellaneous talk around Ireland. Evening, a long Storey about iniquities of House of Lords. The evening and the morning a dull day. Had time to look over Mr. G.'s letter about retention of Irish Members. "What do you think of it?" I asked the Member for Sark. "Haven't read it," he said. "When I saw it was a column long, I knew Mr. G. didn't want to say anything that would be understood. When he does, a few lines suffice; when he doesn't, nothing less than a column of print will serve."

Business done.—Vote on Account through Report Stage.

France and Siam.—The situation at Bangkok will probably result in further Develle-opments.

Transcriber's Note: Sundry damaged or missing punctuation has been repaired. The corrections listed below are also indicated in the text by a dashed line at the appropriate place: Move the mouse over the word, and the original text appears. Page 64: 'barometre' corrected to 'baromètre'. "Le baromètre—Beau fixe!" Page 65: 'Jung Frau' ... the author may have had something else in mind, besides the mountain (Jungfrau)? "Interlachen. Remember the Jung Frau and forget the tourists." Page 69: 'measeles' corrected to 'measles'. "attended two bankers and a Lord Mayor for measles,"